Twohundredpercent

The Twohundredpercent Podcast emerges from its hidey hole this week with a lime and a coconut, just in time to discuss the fizzing excitement of the 4th round of the FA Cup. Unhappiness is the order of the day at Manchester United, where only drastic measures now seem likely to be able to save their season. Your regular correspondents are on hand to pontificate on just how radical these need to be. There's also a distinct side of aggro as Edward and Ian look back at the 200% Derby between Spurs and Brighton, from which only one of your heroes could emerge with a light heart.In what is a surprisingly concise edition by our rambling standards, we nevertheless also disavow anyone who is still holding onto the notion that Boreham Wood being FA Cup heroes is a Good Thing, come down hard on football's growing problem with tribalism and partisanship, and helpfully decide once and for all the identity of the biggest fish in the East Midlands football pond.Comments and complaints as ever to @twoht or @200percentpod on Twitter, or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

On this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined for a second time by Evertonian Sam Whyte (in addition to our now regular guest host, the fire alarm in Ian's house) to pick through the rubble of another week of top line soccer, including the departure of the Everton boss. Rafa Benitez wasn't backed to the hilt with transfer funds at Everton but he made his presence felt in a variety of other no doubt long-lasting ways. Sam ably helps us sift through each of these, as well as revealing where Anthony Gordon gets his hair cut. Ian, meanwhile, is finally a convert to Team Rooney as your heroes try to identify some kind of strategy for Everton going forwards (which is perhaps more than their ownership have ever done). Also up for discussion this week is Arsenal's successful appeal to have their match with Spurs postponed due to their apparent lack of players. With Covid now reaching endemic levels in the super, soaraway, smashing UK, is professional football now at risk of teams gaming the system for their own advantage? As with everything Arsenal-themed on the Twohundredpercent Podcast, your correspondents give them a fair and considered hearing. Are football players now wrapped in cotton wool? And what is the solution to getting games played in real cases of mass absenteeism? Predictably, Edward has a solution. Make of that what you will. All this plus: footballers getting fat and the extraordinarily evergreen Barry Hayles. You can find Sam Whyte on Twitter (@samwhyte) and we recommend that you do. We are also there (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you can email us with thoughts and feelings: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

2022's first Twohundredpercent Podcast sees your heroes reflecting on a bumper week of FA Cup 3rd round upsets. Ian is somewhat concerned both for Nuno Tavares' long term career at Arsenal and also by the continual merry-go-round of blind hope and incompetence that has characterised Newcastle United's disappointing season. Meanwhile, Edward busily picks out the best goal of the round, from lowly Kidderminster Harriers' shock win against Championship Reading. But where is Reading? We look into it and pull out an unlikely conclusion. If all this excitement isn't enough, we are joined by the Twohundredpercent Robot to make the official draw for the 5th Round of the competition, a process that was far less straightforward than either we thought it would be and far less easy than The Sound of Football Podcast makes it appear. Nevertheless, the ties are all locked in, so prove Ian wrong and book your tickets early. If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you could even email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

On this week's festive extravaganza Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined by podcasting stalwart and renowned Metal fan Chris Nee to look ahead to another scintillating year of football. Your heroes explore Chris's turbulent relationship with the beautiful game over the past year, before going on to touch on any number of hot topics. These include: the vital role the pornography industry must surely play in the normalisation and regulation of NFTs; the reason Edward's own Cryptocurrency never got off the ground; and weighing the thorny moral issues of the 2022 Qatar World Cup against the almost inevitable English success that would result from their boycott of it. Along the way, we successfully solve football transfer culture (although unfortunately too late to save Jack Grealish's soul) and almost inevitably damage the podcast's diplomatic relations with any number of countries. Luckily, none of us were planning on going anywhere for the forseeable anyway, thanks to the great gift of Omicron, which our experts also carefully unwrap and examine. Additionally, there's a white Bovril update and news from Carlisle United, where a dead fox nailed to a plank still mercifully has a major part to play in pre-match ceremonies. If you'd like to hear more from Chris, you can find him on Twitter (@ChrisMNee), where you can also find us (@twoht/@200percentpod). You can also email us if you wish: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is split into two parts. In part one your heroes investigate what is going on at Everton, a club who are seemingly in freefall in spite of their European Cup-winning manager (cough) and their owner's almost infinitely deep pockets. There's considerable there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-I mirth at some of the Toffees' recent business in the transfer market and any attempt to calm the nerves of jittery Evertonians is soon kiboshed by Ian, who has been watching them play all season. In part two, Edward and Ian report on their trip to Bognor Regis Town's 2-2 draw with Enfield Town. A splendid afternoon's entertainment was had by all, enriched by a radio commentator giving sass to the visiting team's bench, bickering stewards, a comedy red card and weather conditions that rendered proceedings "like a casserole". Could this finally be the season that the games your correspondents attend are actually going to be good? Not if Omicron has anything to do with it, so get vaccinated would be our advice. If you'd like to watch highlights of that Bognor v Enfield match you can find them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXc5J2Bvmx8; and you can watch highlights of Everton's narrow escape from relegation in 1994 here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H3r1uhj_dE. We are, as ever, available for Bovril chat via Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or by email: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a football computer games special, with both of your heroes having been playing titles that promise to offer up something new to the table. Both fail dismally, of course, which causes some consternation as both Edward and Ian like dicking about playing computer games a whole lot. There are thoughts on the unique joy afforded by modern video games whereby the consumer also gets to be an unpaid product tester and the epochal FIFA versus PES rivalry for market dominance finally reaches its climax (FIFA won). Additionally, there is an idea for a new type of football video game so revolutionary that, it is fair to say, it leaves one of your panel unenthused despite their colleague being keen to get it crowdfunded. However, your regular correspondents are also aware of the real world, so you will also find some consideration in defence of defenders and the seemingly unglamorous art of defending, as well as the impossibility in the human mind of a team winning the FA Cup 15 years before their foundation. As always, you can get in touch with any comments, queries or suggestions. On Twitter we can be found @twoht or @200percentpod, or you can email twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast focuses on the new arrival at Manchester United, Germany's intellectual powerhouse coach Ralf Rangnick. But what do your heroes - or indeed anyone else in Britain - know about this international man of mystery? Very little, it turns out. Nevertheless, it's a gap in all our knowledge that seemingly eats an hour of your lifetime. After a weekend in which Roy Keane and Jamie Carragher had a circular argument in which both men were simultaneously right and wrong, Edward and Ian bicker fruitlessly and ultimately discover nothing about Ralf Rangnick or each other. Or Jamie Vardy, as it turns out. Although we are able to explain why a Whitehawk game in 2016 missed out on a nice round attendance figure of 320, which will potentially be a help to someone. And Edward's extreme vexation at the Little England mentality demonstrated by Paul Merson (amongst others) surprises and delights his colleague to such an extent that he takes a deliberately contrarian viewpoint simply to entertain himself. Whether or not it entertains you is yet to be seen. But by gar, like a Ole Gunnar Solskjaer-lookalike sex dwarf, we tried. If you'd like to get in touch with us you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or by emailing twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a right-up-to-the-minute look at a goalkeeper Liverpool signed 40 years ago, as Edward and Ian consider the career and legacy of Bruce Grobbelaar. Your heroes childhoods were both touched by the acrobatic exploits of this outstanding player to some extent, so they try to get a handle on where he came from, who he managed to beat to the role and whether or not a chimpanzee in a green jersey could have done just as effective a job playing in goal for the brilliant Liverpool team of the 1980s. There's also our thoughts on some of the darker moments from the Grobbelcareer, of which there has been no shortage in the life of this remarkable man. Fans of more recent footballing matters will be no doubt heartened that we also give some time and thought to the latest inevitable bed shitting accident at Manchester United and speculate who might be first in line to clean it all up. If you'd like to get in touch with any questions, quandries or Grobbelthooughts, you can find us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or you can email us: twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com.

How many times have all of YOUR toenails fallen out? None, presumably. But one of your regularly scheduled heroes on this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast's answer to that question may well surprise (and horrify you). It would certainly interest the subject of this week's conversation, Professor of Podiatry and English football's most experienced manager Neil Warnock. He's been a controversial figure for much of his career in the dugout, but his recent sacking by Middlesbrough gave both Edward and Ian pause for thought. They've realised that actually, Neil Warnock has consistently been one of the best parts about a game that, as Ian explains, only matters when it does. And as we all mellow with age, the realisation that we're probably all a little Neil Warnock sometimes is greeted with a Zen-like acceptance by all those who've had the fight battered out of them. This week, we look at both the career and life of one of British football's most fascinating characters with a fond eye because we're all grown-ups here. After this, we talk about toenails falling out and bald eyebrows, because we are also idiotic children. Such are the vagaries and complexities of life. Deal with it. If you can't, you can get in touch with us on Twitter (@twoht/@200percentpod) or via email (twohundredpercentpodcast at gmail dot com) to complain bitterly.