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Tribe Beloved: Love Notes
54. Before You Believe That Thought...
Season 1, Ep. 54
•
How quickly do you decide what a difficult moment says about you?
Maybe you think:
- I'm too much.
- I'm not enough.
- I should have known better.
- I can't trust myself anymore.
In this honest, voice-memo-style conversation, Cortney shares a bittersweet reflection as summer comes to an end, a coaching story about a woman rebuilding confidence after heartbreak, and a simple practice that can help you slow down before believing every accusation your mind offers.
This episode isn't about pretending everything is okay or ignoring mistakes. It's about learning to become a compassionate observer of your life—making room for both truth and grace so you can see more of the whole picture.
If you've been second-guessing yourself after disappointment, transition, conflict, or loss, this conversation will encourage you to pause, get curious, and remember that
one painful moment doesn't get to define your identity.
In this episode, you'll discover:
• Why your brain naturally creates conclusions about difficult experiences.
• The difference between acknowledging reality and accepting every self-accusation as truth.
• How curiosity creates space for wisdom, healing, and perspective.
• Why your God-given strengths often show up long before you have language for them.
• A simple question to ask before believing the story your mind is telling.
Reflection Question
What's one conclusion you've been believing about yourself lately... and what else might be true?
Mentioned in this episode
Interested in discovering more about how God uniquely designed you?
Schedule a God-Given Gifts Chat, a relaxed one-on-one conversation where you'll explore your current season, identify some of your natural God-given strengths, and leave with practical next steps for living with greater clarity and confidence.
Email hello@coffeechatsandyogamats.com with "Gift" in the subject line to learn more.
If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need the reminder that one difficult season doesn't tell the whole story.
Let's go live loved today.
Wondering what your God-given gifts actually are and how to honor them in the middle of real life (not just the highlight reel)? Let’s talk. 💬
The best place to start is a free God-Given Gifts Chat — an audio + text convo inside Voxer (no Zoom required, promise). We’ll:
• Check in on your current season
• Name 1 gift
• Brainstorm 1 simple next step you can take
No pressure. No pretending. Just a grace-filled space to help you get unstuck and move forward with a little more clarity and confidence.
✨Book your God-Given Gifts Chat — or just reply to any email from me with "I'm curious" and I’ll send you the details.
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61. 61. What If Doing Less Isn’t the Whole Answer?
16:37||Season 1, Ep. 61What if you’ve gotten really good at protecting your energy…but somewhere along the way, you also cut out some of what makes you feel alive?A woman I had the privilege of coaching lives with chronic illness, which means overstimulation can have very real physical consequences. She had wisely learned to build in buffers, avoid overstacking her schedule, and pay attention to what depleted her.And then she realized:“I’ve crafted a low-stimulation life so I wouldn’t end up physically incapacitated. But it’s also cut out joy.”Oof.Because honoring your capacity matters. Sometimes the wise, faithful choice really is doing less.But what if capacity isn’t only about asking, What can I remove?In this conversation, we explore what changes when we also start noticing what gives something back.We talk about:why something requiring energy doesn’t automatically mean it’s draininghow your God-given wiring can shape what replenishes or energizes youthe difference between struggling with something and being deficientwhy joy, creativity, curiosity, beauty, and connection aren’t automatically frivolousone delightfully simple “what lights me up?” experiment you can try without turning it into another obligationYou’ll also hear what happened when this beloved created her own “dopamine menu: daily flavors of joy”—and the tiny moment with her daughter and a soon-to-be-demolished floor that still makes me smile.You don’t need to overhaul your life.Maybe we can simply get more curious about the woman who’s actually living it.💭 A question to think on this week:What have you dismissed as unnecessary because it doesn’t look productive—even though it consistently gives something meaningful back to you?🎁 Want another set of eyes on your own patterns? I open just 3 God-Given Gifts Chats each month. We’ll start with your actual life and look together for clues about your wiring, strengths, capacity, and one life-giving next move you can experiment with.Book your God-Given Gifts Chat →60. 60. What If You Don’t Need the Whole Picture?
24:03||Season 1, Ep. 60What if you don’t need complete clarity before you begin?Last week, I hit a pocket of deep discouragement and started questioning everything: Am I actually listening to God? Am I following His leading? Am I just trying to get His approval after the fact?In the middle of all of that, an ordinary comment during our church connect group gave me language for what I’d been carrying: discouragement. No one was trying to solve it for me. Being in community simply helped me notice something I hadn’t been able to name on my own.I still don’t have all the answers.But I’ve been experimenting with something simple: showing up anyway.Five quiet minutes. A verse. A sleeping toddler. A Connection Call that had to be rescheduled—and then no one attended live. 😆And strangely, all of it kept pointing me toward the same thing:Sometimes we learn by showing up, trying, paying attention, and adjusting.That can be true in discernment.And it can also be true with your God-given gifts.In this episode, we explore:how to reduce the pressure to “figure it all out”why imperfect action can reveal useful informationhow to get more specific about strengths you may already be usingwhat it looks like to experiment with a gift instead of proving itwhy 1 Peter 4:10 points us toward receiving, using, and stewarding what God has given us💭 A question to think on this weekWhat do you already know—and what is one small way you could use it more intentionally this week?Scripture: 1 Peter 4:10; Psalm 139:1–10Sometimes community doesn’t hand you an answer. It helps you hear your own story differently. If you can see some pieces of how God wired you but would value thoughtful reflection as you notice and name the patterns, that’s exactly the kind of space we’re creating inside the God-Given Gifts Circle.We begin September 14, and registration closes Friday, September 11.Save your spot in the God-Given Gifts Circle →60. 59. Maybe You’re Better at This Than You Think (connection call)
13:10||Season 1, Ep. 60What if something good and true about you doesn’t have to show up perfectly every single time in order to actually be true?Maybe someone calls you patient, thoughtful, creative, encouraging, steady, or good with people—and your brain immediately starts supplying the evidence against it.“Yeah, but…”In this episode of Tribe Beloved: Love Notes, Cortney explores what happens when we stop qualifying every good thing away long enough to actually notice it.Because you can be patient and still lose your patience.Thoughtful and still forget something.Creative and still make something that flops.Encouraging and still occasionally say the wrong thing.Inconsistency doesn’t automatically mean falseness.Romans 12 invites us to see ourselves truthfully—not inflated, but not diminished either. And if God has genuinely entrusted something to you, acknowledging it isn’t arrogance. Enjoying it isn’t selfish. Learning to use it faithfully can become an act of gratitude and stewardship.Together, we’ll make vague strengths more concrete and explore questions like:What does this quality actually look like in your ordinary life?Where is it already showing up?What do people consistently trust you with?What happens when you let the good thing stand before immediately adding the “but”?You’ll also hear a simple experiment for the week: choose one quality you’re considering, notice where it appears, and intentionally use it once.As fall routines begin filling up again, this is a gentle invitation not to leave your own growth indefinitely on the someday list.💭 Reflection question:What good and true quality have you been explaining away—and where might it already be showing up in your everyday life?Scripture: Romans 12:3–8If you’d like help recognizing the patterns God may already have woven through your life, explore the God-Given Gifts Circle or a one-on-one God-Given Gifts Chat in the links below.👉 God-Given Gifts Circle https://forms.gle/quxDs4TXZQYdvV2A8 👉God-Given Gifts Chat: https://coffeechatsandyogamats.com/giftchat58. 58. What If It’s Not Nothing?
20:20||Season 1, Ep. 58What if the thing you keep brushing off as “nothing” is actually something worth noticing?Sometimes we dismiss what comes naturally because it feels ordinary. We don’t want to make too much of ourselves. We don’t want to be prideful. We may even assume humility means minimizing what we bring to the table.But what if humility isn’t refusing to acknowledge what’s true?In this episode, Cortney explores the difference between flattery, projection, and meaningful reflection—and how trusted people can sometimes help us put language around patterns that have already been present for years.She shares the story of one simple question—“Have you thought about being a coach?”—that helped her recognize a thread already woven through her work, education, and relationships. She also shares the story of a thoughtful woman who had interpreted her need for time to process as a liability, when it may actually be part of the strength she brings.Romans 12 invites us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought, but to see ourselves truthfully.Not inflated.Not diminished.Truthfully.Because when we recognize what God has already entrusted to us, it can change how we steward it.Instead of automatically dismissing what others notice, consider paying attention to the reflection you already receive:What do people consistently ask you for help with?What do they thank you for?What do they seem to trust you with?What have you heard more than once?Reflection question:What is something you may be underestimating because it feels ordinary to you?Scripture: Romans 12:3–8And if you’d like help noticing the patterns God may already be weaving through your life, a one-on-one God-Given Gifts Chat gives us space to slow down, listen closely to your stories, and explore what might already be there.Learn more about a God-Given Gifts Chat → https://coffeechatsandyogamats.com/giftchat And coming in September: a small God-Given Gifts Chat Circle for women who want to explore these patterns and possibilities together. https://coffeechatsandyogamats.kit.com/746c53306a57. 57. What If You Can Shove It Through the Window?
22:13||Season 1, Ep. 57What if you’re working really hard to solve a problem…but you’re answering the wrong question?After spending a precious toddler nap trying—and failing—to move an incredibly comfortable loveseat through an office door, I started wondering if we could just shove it through the window.Spoiler: We could not. 😂But that ridiculous question changed the way I was thinking.Sometimes we get so attached to how something should work that we keep pouring more effort into the same solution. We assume we need more discipline, a better routine, someone else to finally understand us, or the ability to make a particular plan work.But what if we paused long enough to ask what we’re actually trying to create?In this episode, we’re continuing our conversation about questioning our first interpretations and getting curious about what else might be going on. We’ll explore what this can look like in our routines, relationships, parenting, spiritual lives, and even the small ways we create more delight in our homes.And we’ll come back to the invitation in James 1:5: when we need wisdom, we can ask God—who gives generously.This isn’t about finding a clever life hack or assuming every hard situation has an easy workaround. It’s about loosening our grip on the solution we’ve already chosen long enough to pray:God, what am I not seeing?Sometimes the first idea won’t work.Neither will the second.But another question may help us recognize a faithful way forward we couldn’t see while staring at the same proverbial door.Reflection question:Where might you be working really hard to make one solution work when God may be inviting you to ask a different question?Scripture: James 1:5If you’d like another set of eyes and thoughtful questions as you explore how God has uniquely and intentionally wired you, a 1:1 God-Given Gifts Chat is a beautiful place to begin. We’ll slow down, notice the threads already present in your story, and explore what God may be doing with and through you.→ Learn more about a God-Given Gifts Chat: https://coffeechatsandyogamats.com/giftchat56. 56. Maybe I’m the Problem
19:42||Season 1, Ep. 56Something isn’t working. A relationship feels off. Parenting is hard. The routine that seems to work beautifully for someone else leaves you exhausted.How quickly does “something is off” become “Maybe I’m the problem”?Sometimes we do need to own our choices, apologize, grow, or change. But taking responsibility for what’s actually ours is different from turning an experience into an accusation about who we are.In this episode of Tribe Beloved Love Notes, Cortney continues the conversation about learning to see yourself more accurately with God.Beginning with her longtime fascination with color analysis—where sometimes the problem isn’t you, but the color, clothes, or fit—she explores what happens when we bring that same curiosity into everyday life.Through stories about marathon training, motherhood, and learning how she personally processes best, Cortney invites you to slow down before deciding that difficulty automatically means deficiency.Sometimes the method is a poor fit.Sometimes the expectation needs adjusting.Sometimes something belongs in someone else’s “yard.”And yes, sometimes we really did mess up and need to make it right.The goal isn’t avoiding responsibility. It’s accurate responsibility: owning what is actually yours without taking on more than God is asking you to carry.Romans 12 reminds us of the value of seeing ourselves with sober judgment—not inflating ourselves or minimizing ourselves, but learning to see ourselves truthfully.Reflection question: Before deciding what this experience says about me, what actually happened—and what is actually mine to own?If you’re realizing that seeing yourself accurately is harder than it sounds, you don’t have to sort through it alone. A 1:1 God-Given Gifts Chat is a reflective conversation where we slow down, notice the threads God has woven through your life, and explore what may be difficult to recognize from your current vantage point.Explore a God-Given Gifts Chat → https://coffeechatsandyogamats.com/giftchat Scripture: Romans 12:3–855. 55. Maybe You’ve Been Trying to Fix the Wrong Thing
18:00||Season 1, Ep. 55Have you ever caught yourself thinking...Maybe I'm too sensitive.Maybe I care too much.Maybe I should just stop trying.Those conclusions can feel true after disappointment, rejection, or betrayal—but what if pain isn't the most reliable interpreter of who you are?In this episode, Christian life coach Cortney Loui explores the difference between healthy growth and self-erasure. Through a personal story about her autistic son and a coaching conversation with a client, she invites you to question whether you've been trying to fix something God is actually inviting you to steward.If you've ever wondered whether your compassion, sensitivity, curiosity, or desire to help is "too much," this conversation will help you slow down, consider the fuller picture, and begin seeing yourself with greater honesty and hope.In this episode you'll discover:• Why pain can turn an experience into an accusation about your identity• The difference between changing who you are and growing in wisdom• What Romans 12 teaches about accurate, humble self-understanding• Why God-given gifts often need stewardship—not erasureReflection QuestionWhat part of yourself have you been treating like a weakness that God may actually see as a gift?Ready to explore your own story?If today's conversation left you wondering, "What gifts has God placed in me that I've misunderstood because of hurt, fear, or old stories?" a God-Given Gifts Chat is a beautiful next step.Together, we'll look for the recurring threads in your life, notice the ways God has uniquely wired you, and discern what He may be inviting you to steward—not shrink.Learn more about the God-Given Gifts Chat: https://coffeechatsandyogamats.com/giftchat Scripture: Romans 12:3–854. 54. Before You Believe That Thought...
10:47||Season 1, Ep. 54How quickly do you decide what a difficult moment says about you?Maybe you think:I'm too much.I'm not enough.I should have known better.I can't trust myself anymore.In this honest, voice-memo-style conversation, Cortney shares a bittersweet reflection as summer comes to an end, a coaching story about a woman rebuilding confidence after heartbreak, and a simple practice that can help you slow down before believing every accusation your mind offers.This episode isn't about pretending everything is okay or ignoring mistakes. It's about learning to become a compassionate observer of your life—making room for both truth and grace so you can see more of the whole picture.If you've been second-guessing yourself after disappointment, transition, conflict, or loss, this conversation will encourage you to pause, get curious, and remember that one painful moment doesn't get to define your identity.In this episode, you'll discover:• Why your brain naturally creates conclusions about difficult experiences.• The difference between acknowledging reality and accepting every self-accusation as truth.• How curiosity creates space for wisdom, healing, and perspective.• Why your God-given strengths often show up long before you have language for them.• A simple question to ask before believing the story your mind is telling.Reflection QuestionWhat's one conclusion you've been believing about yourself lately... and what else might be true?Mentioned in this episodeInterested in discovering more about how God uniquely designed you?Schedule a God-Given Gifts Chat, a relaxed one-on-one conversation where you'll explore your current season, identify some of your natural God-given strengths, and leave with practical next steps for living with greater clarity and confidence.Email hello@coffeechatsandyogamats.com with "Gift" in the subject line to learn more.If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need the reminder that one difficult season doesn't tell the whole story.Let's go live loved today.