Total Playtime

In a rare treat this week’s episode is not talking about layoffs, but I contrived to introduce them as additional context for Pete Hines being savagely critical of what happened to Bethesda, so the narrative thread is maintained. Otherwise this is quite a good-natured look at the latest PC gaming happenings, including what turned out to be some extremely inaccurate guesses at what hackers had stolen from Rockstar, and what will doubtless prove to be extremely inaccurate guesses at what’s in Epic’s Disney-character extraction shooter.Other highlights this week include Brendy driving up some hills and becoming troubled by them, Nate establishing himself as our resident Jeff Kaplan correspondent, and the ease with which you can Mandela Event yourself into believing just about any idiotic Gamergate-y conspiracy theory is a real thing because they’re all so ridiculous as to be plausible. Plus: troublesome dogs, IRL Pope beef, some very ill-advised rake-stepping on the topic of classic Square Enix games and our judgement of three recently-released videogames, which is a lot rarer than it should be given that’s what the podcast is supposed to be about. We make no promises as to if this will continue. Thanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen. You can join them to unlock more episodes at https://www.patreon.com/c/TotalPlaytimePodcast. Thanks also to Marsh Davies for our art, God Ribbon for our music and Alix Attenborough for our editing. Tell us why rental cars don’t have automatic gearboxes and why Jonty and Nate are wrong about Kingdom Hearts at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Enjoy the benefits of our partnership with jank.cool. If you like the podcast, please leave us a positive review on your podcast platform of choice: it helps other people discover it, and think how much fun they’ll have.Links!Jeff Kaplan revealed that Blizzard did not amend the size of Tracer’s butt. Rockstar was hacked again but didn’t even care, and since we recorded the episode it was revealed that the data was just proof of how much money it makes from GTA Online, the leaking of which actually caused Take Two’s share price to increase so yeah that all checks out. GTA 6 is coming out on 19th November FYI. There was some IRL Avignon pope beef. Pete Hines has some opinions about what happened to Bethesda, which is not entirely surprising. Bloomberg reported that Epic is making an extraction shooter with Disney characters. Jeremy Peel talked to the Samson devs. Games!Jeff Kaplan’s new game is The Legend of California. Kingdom Hearts 4 is coming. Tlatoani: Aztec Cities. Samson. Moves Of The Diamond Hand. Exit 8. Recommendations!Exit 8, War Machine, Takdaneh Natural Sour Cherry Juice, Primal and Rosie Cheeks Slime Shop. 

This week we have fun (for a given value of fun) discussing Epic's mass layoffs, Sony's dynamic price testing, and the difficulty in reviewing Crimson Desert, maybe. One of these results on an extended discussion of the world's favourite glassy-eyed YouTuber. Please note, Jimmy, that the title is a lighthearted joke; I beg, do not turn your eye of Sauron upon us. Plus! Brendy gets unaccountably upset at us for saying things about mining but in a way that sort of implies we find mining sexually arousing. He genuinely seemed upset during recording as well. I don't think it was a bit. iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Acast: https://shows.acast.com/total-playtimeThanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen, and to Marsh Davies for our art and God Ribbon for our music. Send in what your regional time for woodlice is to totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Make the most of our partnership by viewing Jank.cool.Links!Epic shitcanned a thousand people, and the Fortnite team are a bit like 'WELP'. Chet Falizsek went on a tear about it. Rumours abound that PlayStation are testing dynamic pricing. Now maybe spotted in the wild? Crimson Desert for some reason became the latest saviour of single player games (I think off the strength of one cool trailer maybe??) and then was distinctly mid. Paul Tassi wrote about how the review build was significantly different to the retail version.Games!Reanimal, Slay The Spire 2, and Hardspace Shipbreaker (and Edwin did write an article about the unionisation aspects!)Recommendations!The UK series of Last One Laughing, the sci-fi movie Project Hail Mary, and to look up and attend any of your local amateur dramatics societies. 

This week we bring you an accidentally AI-themed extravaganza, as Krafton lost their Unknown Worlds/Subnautica 2 lawsuit for the funniest reason possible: they asked ChatGPT what to do. But just before that, Nvidia unveiled their new Super Sampling and its more like Super SLOP, am I right? Many came out to mock the TikTok-beauty-filterfication of Grace from Resi Requiem. And just before that, Jeff Kaplan, formerly Jeff from the Overwatch team (he's always the Queen from the Overwatch team of our hearts) dealt with some residual C-suit trauma by going on a podcast. Not this one, though. Maybe one day.You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting app of choice:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Acast: https://shows.acast.com/total-playtimeThanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen, and to Marsh Davies for our art, Alix Attenborough for our editing, and God Ribbon for our music. Do not email me about Disco Elysium at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Make the most of our partnership by viewing Jank.cool.Links!ARC Raiders is replacing some of the genAI, and Digital Foundry saw Nvidia's DLSS5 and thought it was great, but everyone else made fun of it. Nvidia's CEO says we're all wrong; Kotaku asked a bunch of devs and they all hate it too. The Subnautica 2 lawsuit got weird (apparently it's coming out in May now, a decision Brendy describes as 'SUSPICIOUSLY fast'), Jeff Kaplan had a bad time.Games!Nate clamped his own mouth shut rather than talk about AoEII again, but Brendy has been playing Slay The Spire 2, and Alice has been playing Esoteric Ebb! They wrote about them on a website. Alice also got to play the demo for the upcoming Darkside Detective game, Backside of the Moon. She was very excited.Recommendations!1997 Australian comedy The Castle, Death Rider by Rhuairidh James, and commissioning an independent artist (specifically, this one)

It’s a quiet one this week, as Alice is away doing mysterious things and Nate is away on a secret mission which you’ll have to hear about in two weeks’ time. It thus falls to Jonty and Brendy to ruminate on Xbox without Phil Spencer, games journalism without humans, and deciding which Pokémon starter would be the best restaurant starter. You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting app of choice:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Thanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen, and to Marsh Davies for our art and God Ribbon for our music. Submit your Pokémon recipes at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Make the most of our partnership by viewing Jank.cool.Links!Phil Spencer left Xbox, along with Sarah Bond. Everybody except Brendy regards him as a lovely bloke who knew a lot about games. The new boss is a creation of pure business and maybe that’s for the best. Metacritic pulled the Videogamer’s Resi Requiem review for being written by AI after nearly all the staff were laid off. Clint Hocking has left Ubisoft again. We would only eat one of the new Pokémon starters. Games!The tooth-cleaning game Jonty couldn't remember was Shark Dentist. Brendy loves Airframe Ultra; you may also consider Star Wars: Galactic Racer and Deathgrip. The other games we played were The Ratline, Beyond Words, Word Play and Resident Evil Requiem. Marathon is out today so you can find out yourself if Jonty’s just really bad at it.Recommendations!Werner Herzog’s Instagram and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin.

This week it's a conspiracy theory special, as Alice develops increasingly outlandish theories about the forces and decisions that shape the games industry, the pharmaceutical industy and the world, and Jonty and Brendy try and talk her down. Plus, layoffs again, pondering the ideological opposite of Rivers Cuomo, why the AI era is dumb and stupid, and a truly inspired Alien: Isolation mod idea.You can download the podcast right here, or find it in your podcasting apps:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Thanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen (join them here!) and to Marsh Davies for our art and God Ribbon for our music. Submit to the Sausage Mailbag at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Make the most of our partnership by viewing Jank.cool.Links!AI is eating all the RAM. Component shortages are coming for routers. If you want to read 10,000 words about OpenAI being a scam then Ed Z has you covered. Rob Fahey on how consoles left families behind. Lots of Highguard devs got laid off. Do not post on X. Some industry lessons from the Highguard launch, one of which is that the world can change a lot over the course of a game's development. There are some wildly disparate voice actors in Mewgenics and Edmund McMillen swears that's intentional. He also went on Post Games.Games!Mewgenics. Super Meat Boy. Relooted. South of Midnight.Recommendations!Glen Baxter. This game engine is from the 90s. Columbo is on Channel 5 in the UK and a number of episodes are up on YouTube. 

It was claimed that Sydney Sweeney was excited about the Split Fiction movie, and that’s an excuse for Alice to be absolutely livid about the Split Fiction game, so please strap in for ten uninterrupted minutes of her choking on her own bile. After that, we manage to find time to discuss the nature of Morrowind, people choosing not to go to GDC, Highguard’s doomed pact with Geoff Keighley, the most Alan Partridge thing Alice has ever said, and more.You can download the podcast right here, or find it in your podcasting apps:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Acast: https://shows.acast.com/total-playtimeThanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen, and to Marsh Davies for our art and God Ribbon for our music. Share your recommendations of games and shrimp at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com. Make the most of our partnership by viewing Jank.cool and perhaps joining the Discord.Links!Syd is not actually hype about the Split Fiction script. Bruce Nesmith reckons Morrowind doesn’t hold up. Nate never visited the Crab Palace. Lots of people said they’re skipping GDC this year but the organisers say it’s fine. Highguard’s debut went badly which the dev considers “risky in hindsight”, although they’re trying hard and the 5v5 mode is now permanent. Please enjoy MerritK’s post in the Jank newsletter, and the rest of Jank.cool come to that. Iron Lung is in cinemas now. Brendy reviewed TR49. Games!Split Fiction. The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind. Highguard is free. Everything Is Crab. TR49. Recommendations!Moldovan Rara Neagra, Shitstorm by Fernando Sdrigotti, 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, Andycruns on BlueSky.

This episode was previously exclusive to our Patreon backers, but we're making it available to everybody to show what you're missing behind the paywall. You can get access to more Text Adventure plus a year of other subscriber episodes, at patreon.com/TotalPlaytimePodcast.Text Adventure is our videogame book club, in which we and a guest read a videogame novelisation and try very hard to like it. In this episode we are joined by Johnny Chiodini to read Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell, which turns out to be story about a neocon Alan Partridge who's totally devoid of emotional intelligence and incredibly bad at stealth. Which is quite close to how we played Splinter Cell but not, we suspect, the outcome they were aiming for for. Music by God Ribbon, art by Marsh Davies and our entire existence care of our Patreon backers. Please consider joining them and enabling us to continue our quest to find a games book that isn't absolutely terrible.Games!You can still buy the first Splinter Cell game, but the remake is out soon(ish)LinksThis is the book most of us read and this is the one Nate read.Recommendations!Going to the charity shops in the most fancy area available to you, London Centric's snail farmer mafioso article, thermal instant cameras, and the Realms Unknown podcast which has featured our own Nate!

It's a heady intersection of belief systems this week, as we combine Alice's insomniac enthusiasm for weird Instagram crystal sales with Nate's rigorous interrogation of Tim Cain's Types Of Quests. Plus: a horny dog, a nightmarish Pikachu, the Roman god of webinars and Games Anubis joins our increasingly incoherent pantheon.You can listen to the episode right here, or find it in your podcasting apps:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Nate's Quiz will be coming to Patreon next month, but in the meantime we have many other fine episodes to which you get full access by subscribing at patreon.com/totalplaytimepodcast. Thanks to all our current Patreons for making the podcast happen, and to Marsh Davies for our art and God Ribbon for our music. You can suggest quest types and your means of death at totalplaytimepod@gmail.com.Links!Tim Cain's 9 types of Quest. The moderately nightmarish Lego Pikachu is yours for £179.99. Various people will sell you bootleg plans for Lego Metal Gear Rex and probably also the Horizon Zero Dawn Tallneck because Lego long since sold out. Facepunch offered to buy New World after it was given 12 months to live.Games!Assassin's Creed Origins and New World, but only if you bought it already.Recommendations!The Holdovers, Tokyo These Days and The Long Walk.

It's 2026, and Alice's dog is still being a dick so she had to leave Jonty, Nate and Brendan to share their gaming New Year's Resolutions, only for the wheels to come off immediately because Nate won't commit to playing new games and Brendan won't commit to resolutions as a concept. We were nevertheless able to muster some recommendations along important discussion of the Eurovision of games, becoming The Balls Guy and the unsettling experience of joining an ARC Raiders suicide cult.You can listen to the episode directly right here, or find it in your pod catching apps.iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/total-playtime/id1790845149Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jPv8y9BRzqATFT7zXRxKWRSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6786cf573ceecdbe85eac067Acast: https://shows.acast.com/total-playtimeMusic by God Ribbon, art by Marsh Davies and our entire existence care of our Patreon supporters, without whom this show would not exist. Consider joining them at https://www.patreon.com/c/TotalPlaytimePodcast. Share your comments and additional New Year's Resolutions for Alice to totalplaytimepod@gmail.com.Links!People are convincing themselves that Half-Life 3 is coming. The plan for Subnautica 2 is mostly litigation.Games!ARC Raiders. Mon Bazou. Totally Legit Wheeler Seller. Let's Build A Zoo. Ark Nova. Crusader Kings 3: Roads to Power. Nivalis. Streets of Fortuna.Recommendations!but the games were good. Get yourself a snake plant, and schedule an input day but don't give Nate any credit for it.