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The Mother Wound with Amani Haydar
My guest this week Amani Haydar is a writer and artist. Her story is one of unimaginable pain and also triumph in the face of the murder of her mother Salwa Haydar at the hands of her father and the loss of her grandmother Teta who was murdered in the 2006 war in Lebanon. Her book The Mother Wound recounts in stunning prose the story of 3 women whose lives have been forever changed by violence. She is now a domestic violence advocate, award winning author and painter living in Sydney.
As Amani will tell you today the attack and her mother’s devastating loss was completely shocking and unexpected. However in hindsight and with the language and education around emotional abuse and coercive control she has now she can see there were red flags throughout her mother’s life that led to this moment.
So much of what we discuss today is difficult however there is also so much to be celebrated in the incredibly vibrant artwork that Amani creates. Her self portrait where she is holding a picture of her mother Salwa holding a photo of her own mother that was taken by the Fairfax Press has now become an iconic image symbolising the enormous grief and loss she and so many women have suffered at the hands of their abusers.
For more from Amani you can head to her instagram page @amanihaydar or visit https://annaemina.com/collections/all
For more from Claire you can head to www.clairetonti.com or @clairetonti on instagram
You can email the show at tontsatod@gmail.com
If this episode has brought anything up for you please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or for family violence support you can contact 1800 RESPECT ( 1800 737 732)
Show credits:
Editing - RAW Collings and Claire Tonti
Theme music - Avocado Junkie
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Matrescence Festival with Claire Tonti & Lizzy Humber
29:09|Welcome to the final episode of TONTS season 5 Matrescence Festival edition. Today, we take the time to reflect on the full two days of the festival, how it came to be and what its future looks like. We encourage you to please let us know how felt listening to this series, what nobody told you and what you now know, you can that by messaging @tontspod on either Facebook and Instagram. For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
12. Matrescence Festival with Dr Sophie Brock
33:28||Season 5, Ep. 12Welcome to first episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.In this episode you'll hear from Dr Sophie Brock, a sociologist with a focus on Motherhood. With a PhD from The University of Sydney just before becoming a mother herself, one of the main results from her research was a conceptual theory about the way Motherhood is socially constructed and individually experienced. So much of her work is about giving voice to expectations, to constructions, that are created as part of what it means to be a Mother in our world. "To connect to the authenticity of who we are, we first have to deconstruct who it is the world expect(ed) us to be." For more from Dr Sophie Brock, you can head to her website: https://drsophiebrock.com/Then after Dr Brock's talk, you'll hear from her again in a Q&A along with Jane Hardwick-Collings and Michelle Hall from our previous episodes. For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
11. Matrescence Festival with Michelle Hall
35:36||Season 5, Ep. 11Welcome to eleventh episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.Today we have a special performance from Michelle Hall, Michelle is an independent performance maker, teaching artist, mentor, arts worker, community organiser, yoga practitioner and mother living and working on Noongar Boodja. She has trained in devising, physical theatre, Clown, Butoh and Contemporary Dance with various companies including Teatro de Complicite (UK), Pan Theatre (Fra), Laban London (UK), Giovanni Fusetti (Italy), Café Reason Butoh (UK), Augusto Boal and Cardboard Citizens (UK). To watch Michelle's performance follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HmNCe2sYsIAnd for more of Michelle's work you can head to her website: https://thedirtymother.com/michelle-hall/For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
10. Matrescence Festival with Dr Winnie Orchard
44:20||Season 5, Ep. 10Welcome to the tenth episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.In this episode you'll hear from Dr Winnie Orchard again, who spoke with us earlier in the season, Dr Orchard is a cognitive neuroscientist who specialises in understanding how caregiving reshapes our brain and minds and in this episode talks specifically to those going through parenting from a queer perspective.We invite you also to take care when listening to Claire's song The Beast after Dr. Orchards talk, the music video with the dance choreography from Bonnie can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNBN7AzHeuMFor more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
9. Matrescence Festival with Jane Hardwicke-Collings & Mietta
34:51||Season 5, Ep. 9Welcome to first episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025. In this episode, we experience both Maidenhood and Sagescence, as we relish in the wisdom of Jane Hardwick-Collings and the music of Mietta.Jane Hardwicke-Collings Jane Hardwicke Collings is a post menopausal grandmother. She was an intensive care and operating theatre nurse, and then a homebirth midwife for 30 years. Now her work focuses on teaching the Women’s Mysteries and writing about them. She gives workshops on mother and daughter preparation for menstruation, the spiritual practice of menstruation, and the sacred and shamanic dimensions of pregnancy, birth and menopause. Jane founded and runs The School of Shamanic Womancraft, an international Women’s Mystery School.Mietta is a soulful indie folk singer songwriter and in a season of emergence. With deep connection to her home roots and her community she is also an education researcher, learning skills mentor, facilitator and designer of youth wellbeing and expressive writing workshops.For more from Jane, you can head to: https://www.janehardwickecollings.com where you can find her many publications.For more of Mietta's music, you can find her on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1SHQyvwWBmN2EU2jg9O53uFor more from Claire, you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy, you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
8. Matrescence Festival with Nartarsha Bamblett
32:00||Season 5, Ep. 8Welcome to eighth episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025. Today we welcome you to the second day of the festival and helping us to do that is the incredible Nartarsha Bamblett, a proud First Nations leader creating safe, transformative spaces for healing, learning, and collective growth. She is the founder of Queen Acknowledgements and IndigUcation, two platforms that merge storytelling, cultural education, and holistic wellbeing, Nartarsha is committed to ensuring that the strength, knowledge, and stories of First Nations people are not only heard but celebrated. She guides individuals and organisations through meaningful cultural journeys that foster reflection, healing, and collective responsibility.For more from Nartarsha, you can head to: https://www.nartarshabamblett.com.au/For more from Claire, you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy, you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
7. Matrescence Festival with Mandy Hose
36:37||Season 5, Ep. 7Welcome to seventh episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.In this episode you'll hear from Mandy Hose, a sleep and settling consultant as well as the co host of the Too Peas podcast to help all parents of multiples who live with disabilities and additional needs. Mandy wants no one to feel alone anymore, parenting on the road less travelled and has also co-authored a book called 'The Invisible Lives of Us' discussing the surprises, challenges and sheer delight of parenting twins with additional needs.As well as hearing from Mandy, you'll get to hear us close out Day One of the festival with gratitudes and words of wisdom and affirmation, as attendees discuss what they have gotten out of the festival so far. And please let us know what you've gotten out of the series so far at @tontspod on instagram. For more from Mandy you can head to: https://mandyhosesheknows.com/ or https://toopeasinapodcast.com.au/For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
6. Matrescence Festival with Tamica Wilder
26:03||Season 5, Ep. 6Welcome to the sixth episode of TONTS Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.In this episode you'll hear from the amazing Tamica Wilder, Tamica is a somatic sex coach and multi-qualified therapist with a deep passion for teaching humans to re-attune to the wisdom of our bodies, while giving full permission to shamelessly prioritise pleasure and play. She believes that our current cultural narratives around sex, intimacy, pleasure and relationships need to change and that begins with helping to create sex-positive families and help parents build the confidence to have ‘those chats’ with their kids and other family members.For more from Tamica you can find her book 'Wild Honey' or follow her on instagram @themomsexologistFor more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan
5. Matrescence Festival with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz & Dr Winnie Orchard
19:43||Season 5, Ep. 5Welcome to the fifth episode of TONTS. Season 5 Matrescence Festival edition, join us as we look back through our Melbourne festival from March 2025.In this episode we're joined again by the wonderful Amy Taylor-Kabbaz and Dr Winnie Orchard, who you will have heard earlier in the festival, as they discuss the restructuring of the brain during Matrescence, hormones, neurodivergence in parents and much more.For more from Amy, you can visit Amy Taylor Kabbaz or pick up a copy of her book 'Mama Rising'.For more from Claire you can head to: https://www.clairetonti.com/ or her instagram @clairetontiFor more from Lizzy you can head to: https://www.lizzyhumber.com/ or her instagram @lizzyhumberAnd to keep up to date with past and upcoming Matrescence festivals you can follow @matrescencefestival on instagram or go to https://www.matrescencefestival.co.ukOriginal theme music: Free by Claire TontiEditing: Maisie JGSocial Media: Surabhi Pradhan