Time to Lean

You know the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" Well in this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a refreshing take on this tired saying by creator @livunderthestairs. They discuss how it can be reframed more equitably, emphasizing shared responsibilities and emotional labor in relationships.Mentioned on this episode:Link to the original video!The Tragedy of HeterosexualityJoin our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)

On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers.Mentioned on this episode:The viral Time's article on Ballerina FarmMarie Claire's Article on the Evie CoverAll Fours by Miranda JulySara Peterson's Article Re: Ballerina FarmJoin our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)

We have a listener-submitted question! Queen of Group Projects wants to know if she should feel bad for wanting her partner to do his own tasks ON HIS OWN, rather than together. Crystal and Laura discuss the purpose of delegating tasks, the benefits of alone time, and how to connect outside of the mundane day-to-day!For resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)

This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their partner who says they're overwhelmed by the holiday tasks - the same tasks the original poster handled on their own for years. Scratch your head and spiral out along with us.**Oops, you may notice this week's episode had the wrong audio on it! SORRY ABOUT THAT! - Laura You can find the resources we mention here: On our Patreon!For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)

In this episode, we explore a viral video featuring a woman who always says she wants to relax, yet when the moment finally comes, she can’t help but get up and keep doing something around the house. We talk through the relatable feeling of never truly switching off, especially for women who feel that even their downtime at home has to be “productive.” Join us as we spiral through the compulsion to stay busy and how deeply it’s tied to societal expectations.For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)We <3 Data! Find some of the research we cited below!https://dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/moms-cognitive-burden-chores/Gaps in free timeThe cognitive load!Time Use Data

Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)Resources Mentioned This Episode: DBT Assertiveness Scripts: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-4-Assertiveness-Scripts-and-Interpersonal-Rights-compressed.pdfDBT Boundaries Worksheet: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-8-Interpersonal-Boundaries-compressed.pdfDBT What Are Interpersonal Boundaries?: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/Gottman Four Horsemen and Antidotes: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/DBT TIPP: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/Distress Tolerance STOPP: https://www.hey.nhs.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/OHC_STOPP.pdf

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss Birthday Blues, expectations for partners, and how to move forward if they let you down.Links:Article from The CutTime to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)

In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the dynamics of a viral video that highlights the emotional labor women often experience in relationships, particularly during crisis or stressful situations. Have you ever felt gaslit by a calmer partner? This one's for you.Links:Original postFollow-Up VideoTime to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen!Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpodFollow Time to Lean on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@timetoleanpod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Laura on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatdarnchat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Crystal on social media ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@itscrystalbritt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Domestic Violence Resources ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :)