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Time to Lean
his kidney, his choice?
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that arise when one partner makes significant decisions, such as donating a kidney. They discuss the importance of communication, the impact of caregiving, and the need for self-awareness in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of considering each other's needs and the collective responsibility in relationships, while also highlighting the role of therapy and community support in fostering healthier interactions.
- Weaponized Incompetence & Emotional Labor
- How âIâm not asking you to do anythingâ becomes emotional gaslighting when you're still left holding the bag.
- đ See: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
- đ Also see: âThe Gender Gap in Caregivingâ - Pew Research Center
- Care Work & Systemic Invisibility
- The gendered, unpaid, and expected nature of domestic caregiving and how society rewards male hyper-individualism but punishes communal care.
- đ bell hooks, All About Love
- đ Silvia Federici, Revolution at Point Zero
This show exists thanks to our amazing community. Subscribing to our Time to Lean Substack helps us keep this work going. Weâve moved off Patreon, so come hang with us there for bonus content, live chats, and more systemic breakdowns served with a side of memes and rage.
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129. when does teasing turn toxic?
50:47||Season 1, Ep. 129In this episode, we share a "candid" video from a couple who are having a serious convo in a #couplescomedy tone. We unpack emotional attunement, family dynamics and the impact of social media on all of us.Mentioned in this episode:No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Donât miss Crystalâs upcoming groups! More info here!----------Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comOrder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
128. when does modeling better balance become capitalizing on the issue of inequity?
01:02:21||Season 1, Ep. 128In this episode, we explore the line between sharing personal growth and capitalizing on the widespread normalization of inequity. When does modeling a more equitable division of labor go from influencing a cultural shift to patting yourself on the back?Mentioned in this episode:No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Donât miss Crystalâs Autism Self-Diagnosis Group, starting Dec 1st! More info here!----------Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
127. what if men were tricked into going to therapy?
48:55||Season 1, Ep. 127In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss an IG reel sent to us from a listener. Do men need to be tricked into going to therapy? What are some things that keep them from going? How do you even go about picking a therapist thatâs right for you?Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
126. if i have to ask you to invite me, is it REALLY an invitation?
01:00:50||Season 1, Ep. 126In this episode, Laura and Crystal chat about a clip from the movie Knocked Up where Leslie Mann confronts Paul Rudd about his dishonesty around how he's been using his time. We cover invisible labor, insidious inequity, subtle betrayals and so much more. Here's the link to the original video!Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
125. i asked for two, but he got me oneâam i supposed to be okay with less... everyday... for the rest of my life?
46:39||Season 1, Ep. 125In this episode, we discuss a viral thread where a woman describes a metaphor for her entire relationship: a situation where she asked for more and was expected to be satisfied with less. We talk: self-sacrifice, relationship dynamics, small moments that really reflect big issues.Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
124. is it funny to have to be begged to do the dishes?
51:13||Season 1, Ep. 124In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a viral video that makes light of the dynamic of "nagging". Join us as we consider not just what happens when you "ask a man to do the dishes", but what the jokes of the #couplescomedy genre actually teach us to laugh off.Mentioned:Revolution at Point Zero The original videoParis Paloma - LabourGet resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233
123. was 'marriage story' cis-het propaganda?
34:44||Season 1, Ep. 123In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the 2019 Netflix film, âMarriage Story,â which starred Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. A popular clip is circulating on social media again and made us wonder: with all the passing of responsibility and finger-pointing and tantrumingâwas it all just cis-het propaganda??Mentioned in this Episode:Pre-Order Lauraâs Book! â No More MediocreLauraâs Substack Article from Last EpisodeScarlett Longstreet's Instagram Post: âFive Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Divorcedâ
122. would you leave someone on read for being too available?
34:36||Season 1, Ep. 122This week, weâre digging into a few clips from @leftonread_show that had us feeling things! We talk about what it means to be âcool" and whether or not the host's advice to play hard to get is ACTUALLY good advice. A lighthearted one today. <3 Letâs get into it.âFind more at timetoleanpod.substack.com for resources, ad-free episodes, and more.Follow Laura @thatdarnchat â thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal @itscrystalbritt â itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share if you love the show.Preorder No More Mediocre now.If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org.
121. can an unfinished painting cause you to question everything?
16:21||Season 1, Ep. 121This is a weird one. Crystal has been slammed and Laura couldn't get a painting out of her head, so she decided to write(and read) about it. In this episode, Laura reads something she wrote about an unfinished painting of a mother.PLEASE PARDON LAURA'S FRENCH. :) Check out the painting here!Madame de Pastoret and Her Son, 1791â92Artist: Jacques-Louis David (French, 1748â1825)Here's her husband.Here's her son. Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.comPreorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand MoreFollow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.comFollow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.comSubscribe, rate, and share to help others find the showIf you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233