Share

cover art for Scott Hanson’s NFL RedZone Routine + Fake 49ers player + 2007 NFL Sideline Gear

THESE GUYS!

Scott Hanson’s NFL RedZone Routine + Fake 49ers player + 2007 NFL Sideline Gear

Ep. 201
•

Imagine eating a bowl of salty Kalamata olives at 4am just so you can retain enough water to survive 7 straight hours on national television without a single bathroom break 🫪 That is the legendary level of bladder integrity Scott Hanson brings to the table every single Sunday. SH is a certified machine but he's also apparently a massive gamer who orders Postmates and DoorDash at the exact same time to have them race to his front door. We sit down with the king of the witching hour to talk about his insane 70-inch home penta-box setup, why he drove a Chevy Blazer with a front push bar to smash shopping carts in 1989, and his career bucket-list dream of broadcasting alongside Mike Tirico.
Before SH rolls into the clubhouse we mourn the tragic death of the ESPN ticker 🕊️ call out high school football players doing performative, slow-motion ski mask edits on Instagram and discuss the absolute genius of the fake 49ers player who committed to the bit so hard he pumped gas wearing a full uniform with a visor on.
Then we hit the listener emails and try to figure out why the hottest girls always have a shattered phone screens, we decide vintage 2006 Reebok Steelers sideline hoodies are the tufffest of all time, and why watching the Washington Commanders play on a home turf (that looks like an ugly cow farm) is the most depressing thing on television (not a sports pod)

🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*
TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y

📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*
Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com

🎧 *Listen to the full pod*
https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2L
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408

🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*
These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslol
Benedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizzi
Joey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaro

Follow our Facebook Page!
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463

🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*
https://www.benedictmerch.com

More episodes

View all episodes

  • 209. College Football Playoff Conspiracy + Happy Gilmore Halloween’s | These Guys! 209

    01:24:01||Ep. 209
    Benny Boy pulls out a pink pumpkin Yankee candle to kick off spooky season, while Joey unpacks the trauma of having a surprise Saturday afternoon baby shower dropped on him right in the middle of the 3:30pm college football slate. Meanwhile, Coach P fires off an 8:25 AM text “Metro Diner has a pretty strong PSL B”We dissect the college football conspiracy where every team is taking 2 losses on purpose just to force a 12-team playoff debate (just so we can imagine Lee Corso, Charlie Weis, and Mark May storming your locker room at halftime) Then, we hit the ultimate Halloween debate—from mom putting a Steve & Barry’s Michigan jacket over your costume, to pulling off Happy Gilmore and Bobby Boucher & Vicki Vallencourt fits, to why girls love being Velma, and why showing up at a party in a plain Peyton Manning jersey is absolute 🗑️ A clubhouse email triggers a full breakdown of the Best & Worst Places to take a Deuce and why is it in a stall with a TV in the corner with PTI on? Also u ever deuce in full football pads before a game against Plainfield? Finally, the guys talk about their first impressions of each other back in middle school and pay respect to their former Steelers teacher Mr. Crosley 🫡🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 208. BALLARD RIP + PEYTON COLTS? + GET OUTTA CHURCH EXCUSES + THURS NIGHT PASTA PARTY | These Guys! 208

    01:12:43||Ep. 208
    What's the first thing Chris Ballard did after he got fired? and why did he order a Frisco Melt with a Side-by-side milkshake at Steak 'n Shake?? We are back in the clubhouse today reminiscing about blue face mask Peyton Manning, rib protectors from Play It Again Sports, and why Friday late-night college football at a Yard House with buffalo wings in front of you is the ultimate comfort. Plus, we break down why saying the Our Father during an injury at a fball game makes you never want to play again. Coach P checks in with fresh texts claiming he personally invented chicken nuggets 👍 We relive the absurdity of pre-church family battles where your mom threatens to lock you in your room for the rest of the day, only to be singing "Here I Am, Lord" ten minutes later. Then, we salute the ultimate dad move of naming two sons Payton and Eli over a four-year stretch without PITEEEEE ever catching on.For emails we break down the best "before they rebranded" sports gear and we remember the girl in HS who stole your purple Tampa Bay Devil Rays hat at a party (miss her) We recall Thursday night high school pasta parties and Saturday film bangers featuring Chick-Fil-A breakfast chicken minis, Maple Donuts, Burger King French toast sticks, and linemen crushing logs of DIP 🤪 then we mourn the stadium rebrand that hurt the absolute most RIP pouring ketchup bottles at Heinz Field 🕊️🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 207. Most MNF Stadium + NFL CFB comparisons + Weird Christmas Eve Plans | These Guys! 207

    01:10:52||Ep. 207
    What’s the point of buying buffalo wings at the grocery store if they take five hours to cook and shrink down into tiny buffalo bites before you even get to eat them? idk but i’m doin it tonight 🙌JoyJoy is coming off a legendary Purdue win and the ultimate "make-a-wish" Saturday—complete with an accidental date night, an exclamation-point text from his wife, a random bar meetup at Binkley's AND afternoon beers at Tiebreakers in his elastic-ankle sweatpants. Meanwhile, Benny receives a fresh Friday text from Coach P about a Dairy Queen Blizzard run, and the guys unpack why a 3:30 PM to 6:00 PM afternoon hang with the fellas beats staying out until 1:00 AM every single time.First, Coach P makes his weekly appearance after claiming he personally invented "all dry" no-butter breadsticks at Fazoli's and college baseball walk-up music back in 1975. We revisit the magic of Christmas Eve—from sitting three glasses of red wine deep in a hot living room while a random bowl game plays in the background to realizing people actually go to Ruth's Chris for holiday dinners. Then, we complain about the terrible jersey contrast between Bama and Georgia, leading us into a debate on the hardest teams to watch in college football (lowkey texas) then we wonder why MetLife Stadium is always hit with a monsoon of piss rainNext, we relive the glory days of Candlestick Park with low scoreboards and pull-out bleachers, and salute Hines Field on a freezing Sunday night with Big Ben wearing a beanie. We mourn the breakup of Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden on Monday Night Football, expose Troy Aikman using the exact same commentary phrases 22 times in one half, and break down why your hardcore Steelers fandom naturally fades into casual watching once you have kids running around. To wrap things up, we map out exact college football parallels to the NFL (Notre Dame as Green Bay, Michigan as Dallas, LSU as Tampa Bay, and Georgia as Philadelphia) Luv u Clubhouse xoxo🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 206. SEXY FALL VOICE + NFL WEEK 4 + DANCING W THE STARS | These Guys! 206

    01:27:39||Ep. 206
    We’re back in the clubhouse today recovering from moving chaos, breaking down sexy fall voice and Joey's interview with our dad Tony RealiFirst, Benny recaps his apartment move that ruined his entire life then we relive the weird college hookah phase where guys sat around lamps without lampshades making bubbling water noises😶‍🌫️ after that we try to figure out why every girl named Tori is low-key terrifying. Then we introduce a new segment called Sh*t Our Dads SaidFor the mailbag, we debate how much "hunty" is too much on fall Sundays, salute fried biscuits with apple butter at the pumpkin patch, and choose Kentucky as the ultimate free-agent college football program🫡 To wrap things up, we relive the most lit PE classes (floor hockey and human foosball) and remember picking up Bapa John's bizza with your dad while blasting Linkin Park and dreaming of running 70 yards down the sideline in high school🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 205. DEATH ROW SCHOOL LUNCH + FALL FITS + SNICKERS GOAT CANDY? | These Guys! 205

    01:13:53||Ep. 205
    Is a Snickers bar actually a magic power bar containing healthy fats and essential energy, or did your dad just gas you up at 8 years old so you'd play better in the second game of a Little League double-header? We are back in the clubhouse today making the ultimate case for Snickers as the avocado of candy and admitting that we're both empaths who feel genuinely heartbroken for the unworn shoes in our closets. We recall the tragedy of elite NFL cornerbacks falling off and going to the Steelers for 2 years (Patrick Peterson)  We relive going to your homie's house with an older brother who had all his friends over which felt like hanging out in an All-Star locker room with LeBron, AI, and Carmelo Anthony.Then we talk cliché post-college jobs—from Enterprise rental car salesmen and cold-calling life insurance reps in an Applebee's to corporate quarter-zip guys and Instagram-verified realtors pitching "two-story ranches" in Carmel. To close things out, we construct our ultimate Death Row high school cafeteria last meal (featuring Wednesday Papa John's, country fried steak with extra gravy, and those legendary unbaked freshman-year chocolate chip cookies in thin plastic bags), we pay homage to Chiller for walking into lunch with zero money and leaving with $100 in cash, and debate the most unforgettable ESPN ticker moments in television history🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 204. NFL... FAKE? + BEST MASCOTS + NICK SABAN BARISTA

    01:12:54||Ep. 204
    "Imagine walking into a seasonal coffee shop where Nick Saban is behind the counter refusing to serve light roast, Pat McAfee is standing on the counter shouting latte orders, and Darren McFadden runs your drink out to your car like a read-option play." That is the exact college game day fever dream we constructed in the clubhouse today while trying to fix Saturday mornings. Why does an NFL game scheduled for 7:30 PM not actually kick off until 7:52 PM while some guy wearing bright orange oven mitts up to his elbows holds the entire stadium hostage for TV commercials? We break down why college football feels like a real holiday every single Saturday, while the NFL feels completely fake until Week 8 when Halloween bonfires hit.Then, Mel's Best Available returns from a month-long hiatus for the ELITE brand and team mascots. We establish the official Holy Trinity of culture (Jesus, Santa Claus, and Mickey Mouse), debate why Joe Camel in black Ray-Bans playing pool would steal your girl, and relive eating 1998 KFC Zingers while watching Adam Sandler put on lipstick in Billy Madison. We salute the Icy Bear's baggy jeans and shades, explain why Pizza King's model train delivering breadsticks directly to your booth was pure childhood magic, and crown the Suns Gorilla for dunking off trampolines in a Steve Nash jersey. To close things out, we run through honorable mentions including the Stanford Tree, Boltman, Uga drooling on his spiked doghouse, and why the Nesquik Bunny deserves way more respect than actual human beings🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 203. NFL SEASON PREVIEW + DISNEY CHANNEL MOVIES + HALLOWEEN’S OVER

    01:03:42||Ep. 203
    THEY CAN’T STOP ME EVEN IF THEY STOPPED ME You put on track two of Lil Wayne's The Carter 3 on during a road trip, get instant chills, and feel like you're 17 years old again—only for your wife to break after 22 seconds and ask if we can put on a podcast instead 🤖 ANYTHING FOR U PIDDY 🤖 We're back in the clubhouse today repping fresh Steelers soccer drip, geeking out over Brett Favre chin strap emojis in the Discord, and debating the strict etiquette of watching REDZONE quadbox at a Saturday wedding reception. First, we address the brutal reality of hitting the 33-year-old wall at 8:30pm. We break down the horror of walking to your house at 10:15pm, gaslighting yourself into believing a 7 foot clown is right behind you ☹️ Then we salute the generational run of Disney Channel original movies, along with the holy trinity of Cartoon Network weed kids who stayed up drinking Mountain Dew to watch Courage the Cowardly Dog, Robot Chicken, and Ed, Edd n Eddy🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com
  • 202. COLLEGE FOOBALL'S BACK + RICH FRIEND'S DAD + LANE KIFFIN

    01:35:18||Ep. 202
    The boys are back in the clubhouse defending the honor of morning talk radio, ranking the absolute elite college football bowl game logos of the 2000s, and exposing BP's family for celebrating Thanksgiving on July 11th like the freaks they are. Benny recaps his 30-minute drive to Pasadena just to buy a used Texas A&M Revo helmet from Play It Again Sports, and we investigate an eBay-acquired Drew Brees Purdue jersey featuring a sketchy limited-edition red Boilermaker logo. Then we settle the ultimate aesthetic debate: is your favorite college football program a daytime team or a night time team? Hint: LSU is the ultimate night game beast, while Ohio State is forever locked into the daytime slot. For the main event, we reveal our 10000% unofficial 2026 College Football Season Preview awards. To wrap things up, the emails brought a brilliant list of clubhouse-friendly curse word substitutes like shouting "Peerless Price" to save your marriage, a debate over why college athletes like JT Barrett and Perry Ellis seem to stay in school for a decade, and a mutual agreement to end it all if we ever see a couple wearing matching "I'm her hunty" and "I'm his pree ladyyyyy" shirts.🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: teamtheseguys@gmail.com🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaroFollow our Facebook Page!https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579678466463🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com