Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Pat...

Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is left with his Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to try and get a handle on things. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson&nbsp; Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileyRhys TeesOliver DowlingDenis Michallet&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 001: Transfer Deadline Day

Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess.&nbsp;


&nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
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Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess.&nbsp; &nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall&nbsp; Additional voices:Jo PriceOmari DouglasRhys TeesOliver Dowling&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 002: The Biter from the Balkans

In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc.
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Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall


Additional voices:
Om...

In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc.&nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesOliver DowlingDean Kilbey&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 003: The Prince of Harkness

On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show.


Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
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On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesRaphaela Israel-Öbeñg&nbsp;Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery&nbsp;WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 004: The Last Supper

Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager.


Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Do...

Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as&nbsp;Dan&nbsp;Watson&nbsp; Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileySuzie HoulihanRhys TeesLarner Wallace-Taylor&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 005: Long Live The King

As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death thr...

As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell&nbsp;Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston&nbsp;&nbsp; Additional voices:Omari Douglas&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 006: Howe to Cheat Death

Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the ...

Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club. &nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell&nbsp;Nalan Burgess as JaneLucy-Jane Quinlan as EricaRachel Summers as SimoneRhys Tees as Sam Green&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 007: Big Sam and Fries

Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet s...

Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet she has some commitments of her own.&nbsp;&nbsp;Helena Doughty as Jess Tate&nbsp;&nbsp;Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanLucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica&nbsp;&nbsp;Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall&nbsp;&nbsp; Additional voices:Omari DouglasNalan Burgess&nbsp;Luke StevensonJoel EmeryOliver Dowling&nbsp;&nbsp; Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 008: Out of Office

Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corpora...

Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corporation, and Ashwood City shirt sponsor; iBET sweet, but heavy concessions are required. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Omari DouglasDenis MichalletWen TheakerTrev NeoJoel EmeryJonny Sharples&nbsp;Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.&nbsp;Listener discretion is advised.&nbsp;Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Episode 009: The French Connection

An award-winning mockumentary following Premier League club Ashwood City FC.

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC. 'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian 'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.