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The Offensive

An award-winning mockumentary following Premier League club Ashwood City FC.


Latest episode

  • 1. Episode 001: Transfer Deadline Day

    22:21
    Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is left with his Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to try and get a handle on things.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileyRhys TeesOliver DowlingDenis Michallet  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

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  • 2. Episode 002: The Biter from the Balkans

    20:16
    Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess.  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Jo PriceOmari DouglasRhys TeesOliver Dowling  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity
  • 3. Episode 003: The Prince of Harkness

    21:21
    In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesOliver DowlingDean Kilbey  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity
  • 4. Episode 004: The Last Supper

    20:30
    On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesRaphaela Israel-Öbeñg Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity
  • 5. Episode 005: Long Live The King

    26:39
    Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileySuzie HoulihanRhys TeesLarner Wallace-Taylor  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity
  • 6. Episode 006: Howe to Cheat Death

    20:06
    As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life.   Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston  Additional voices:Omari Douglas  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity
  • 7. Episode 007: Big Sam and Fries

    20:46
    Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Nalan Burgess as JaneLucy-Jane Quinlan as EricaRachel Summers as SimoneRhys Tees as Sam Green  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity