The InDependent Spouse | The Military Spouse & Partner Podcast

Welcome back to The InDependent Spouse podcast and the start of series 8! In this episode, we're turning the clock back to look at where military spouse employment support really began, and just how far things have come since 2011 and 2018.Host Jess Sands sits down with Heledd Kendrick, founder of Recruit for Spouses, to talk about building a purpose-led organisation from scratch, challenging some seriously outdated stereotypes along the way, and why looking after military spouses isn't just good for families - it's good for workforces and defence too.Heledd shares how RFS grew from a simple idea into a foundation offering coaching, mentoring, wellbeing support and employer education. She's refreshingly honest about the lessons too: resilience, imposter syndrome, the power of networking, and how to keep going when business and military life collide.Key topicsIn this episode, Heledd explains how Recruit for Spouses began in 2011 after she searched for military spouse jobs and found almost nothing available.She shares how early assumptions about military spouses, especially that they would not work or could only do certain roles, shaped her motivation to create change.Jess and Heledd discuss how the pandemic accelerated remote working and helped shift perceptions of military spouses in the workplace.Heledd makes the case that military spouses bring adaptability, resilience, and commercial value to employers, from small businesses to large companies like Virgin.She explains the importance of moving beyond pity-based narratives and instead showing the contribution military families make to operational effectiveness and defence.Heledd reflects on imposter syndrome, including ice baths, stand-up comedy, and singing from Les Misérables as part of a confidence course.She shares a difficult financial moment when payroll was due and the business had only £2,000 in the bank, showing the reality behind growth.The conversation explores why a clear North Star matters, including having a big vision even when the first goal feels small.Heledd outlines RFS’s work supporting spouses into employment, including coaching and mentoring, wellbeing support, and work with foreign and Commonwealth spouses.Jess and Heledd talk about networking as a practical skill, with Heledd sharing how late-night events and simple follow-up habits have led to real opportunities.Timestamps00:38 — Heledd returns as Jess’s first guest and introduces RFS01:51 — Being the original military spouse employment advocate02:37 — The Google search that found no spouse jobs04:28 — Community support that sparked the mission06:27 — How the military spouse stereotype has changed since COVID08:25 — Why RFS pitches spouses as business assets10:58 — Imposter syndrome and the ice bath challenge13:41 — Has the landscape for spouses really changed?14:26 — Keeping the drum beating through business uncertainty15:07 — The £2,000 bank balance and payroll pressure17:08 — Why Heledd did not give up18:01 — The first RFS vision and the importance of a North Star20:55 — Looking back on how much the military spouse space has shifted21:52 — Changing policies and increasing awareness23:35 — Stronger family, stronger workforce, stronger defence25:18 — What RFS actually offers spouses today28:53 — Building a core team and stepping into strategy29:48 — Networking at the right rooms and the right time32:25 — How early networking built trust and opportunity37:40 — Why practice makes networking easier38:46 — The bravest lesson: optimism, trust, and never giving up40:51 — Why Jess’s community and platform matter to spouses41:36 — Where to find RFS and its coaching and mentoring support

Ahead of Remembrance Day, we are re-releasing one of the most poignant interviews ever recorded on The InDependent Spouse podcast. Host Jess Sands talks with the brilliant and inspirational founder, Nikki Scott, about the incredible journey that led her to create Scotty's Little Soldiers. Nikki shares the intensely personal and heartbreaking story of losing her husband, Lee Scott, who was killed in Afghanistan. She discusses the immediate aftermath, including the difficult decision of leaving the married quarter and the emotional weight of his repatriation. This conversation is a powerful exploration of grief, resilience, and the power of community, highlighting how Nikki transformed her pain into a mission to ensure bereaved British forces children can "smile again". We dive into the vital work of Scotty's Little Soldiers and how they support military children who have lost a parent, regardless of how they died. Key Takeaways & Discussion Points The Birth of Scotty's Little Soldiers: The idea was born on a family holiday nine months after Lee's death, when Nikki saw her 5-year-old son, Kai, smile and laugh again. This was her 'wake-up call' and the moment she realized she needed to help other children who had experienced the death of a parent who served. The Mission: Helping Them Smile: Scotty's Little Soldiers is dedicated to supporting all bereaved British forces children from the Armed Forces community. Support: An online bereavement service and resources to help families before they reach crisis points. Lee's Legacy: Nikki remembers Lee, who was killed at age 26, as the fun parent and "everybody's friend" . She believes he would be "100% behind" the charity. Resources and How to Connect Scotty's Little Soldiers Website: Find information, donate, fundraise, or get support - https://www.scottyslittlesoldiers.co.uk/ "Scotty's is something that we don't ever want to have to use, but to know that our children have that if they need it means so much."

Welcome back to The InDependent Spouse Podcast! In this episode, your host Jess Sands dives into the inspirational world of Major Jo Vann – a true multi-hyphenate who redefines what it means to juggle military life, motherhood, and a thriving business. Jo is not only working full-time in the British Army with a serving husband and two children, but she also runs a stunning boutique hotel in Amesbury called "A Little Place." Jess was lucky enough to visit this beautiful Georgian property, which she describes as something out of a Jane Austen novel. In this conversation, Jo shares how her military training, sporting background (including playing netball for England!), and a passion for people has equipped her to build an amazing business and team. Key Takeaways from Jo: Build an Amazing Team: Jo emphasizes that her number one priority when starting her business was growing an incredible team, allowing her to minimise her day-to-day contribution because of the people running it. Lessons from Military and Sport: The teamwork aspect, learned through both her army career and sport, has been crucial. She highlights how collaborating with others brings in broader skills and makes you stronger. The Drive to Give Back: After her successful sporting career, Jo developed a passion for coaching, becoming the head coach of the UK Armed Forces netball team, driven by a desire to give back. The Motivation Behind "A Little Place": Her love for people and bringing them together, combined with a desire for stability during a challenging period of army life with children, led her to open the hotel. She also aims to offer a safe and comfortable escape for the military community near Salisbury Plain. The Power of the Reserves: Jo sheds light on how Armed Forces Reserves offer flexible commitment levels, complementary income, personal development, teamwork, and unique training opportunities for those balancing civilian careers or businesses. Embracing Bravery and Curiosity: Jo encourages listeners to test new ideas and not be afraid to try "brave things," even if they feel like too much on their plate. She reminds us that regret often comes from not taking opportunities. This episode is a must-listen if you're feeling overwhelmed but need a powerful dose of inspiration to show you what's possible when you embrace challenges and build an incredible support system. Connect with Jo Vann and A Little Place: Website: a little place Instagram (A Little Place): https://www.instagram.com/alittleplace_uk/ LinkedIn (Jo Vann): You can find Jo on LinkedIn to learn more about her and the reserves - https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-vann/ Connect with The InDependent Spouse Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/milsponetwork/ Find a Milspo Directory: Showcase your military spouse-owned business! https://findamilspo.co.uk/

Welcome back to The InDependent Spouse podcast! In this particularly exciting episode, Jess Sands sits down with the brilliant Felicity Mercer, wife to Johnny Mercer, who has navigated the unique challenges of armed forces life, the intense world of politics, and is now an award-winning business owner. We cover it all, from meeting Johnny Mercer (MP and former Minister for State for Veterans Affairs) as children, reconnecting as adults when he was serving in Afghanistan, to supporting him through a whirlwind political career. Felicity shares candid insights into the realities of being a political wife – far from glamorous – including dealing with public scrutiny, death threats, and the toll it takes on family life. She discusses the unexpected pivot from supporting her husband's public service to launching her own successful business, The Dress Barn, just six months ago. Discover how she's found pure joy in her new venture, applying years of experience to create a welcoming space for her clients, and even inspiring her own daughters to get involved. Felicity offers powerful advice for anyone in the military community looking to transition and start something new: "Don't overthink it. Just go for it!" This episode is a testament to resilience, adaptability, and finding your own path amidst the extraordinary demands of military and political life. Key Takeaways: The Unseen Side of Public Life: Felicity offers a raw and honest look at the lack of glamour and the intense public hatred and threats that can come with being a political spouse. Turning Challenges into Opportunities: Despite the difficulties of military and political life, Felicity emphasizes the importance of laughter and finding humor in tough situations. Empowerment Through Entrepreneurship: Learn how Felicity channelled her experiences and a small investment into a thriving and joyful business that empowers other women. The Power of "Don't Overthink It": Felicity's core advice for military spouses considering a new venture is to overcome self-doubt, have a plan, and back yourself. Inspiring the Next Generation: Felicity shares how her business journey is influencing her daughters, teaching them about hard work, independence, and the joy of helping others. The Dress Barn: Felicity Mercer's award-winning business, located near the Devon/Cornwall border - https://dress-barn.co.uk/ Join the Course! Are you a military spouse looking to start your own business? Join The InDependent Spouse's Business Launch Accelerator course! This fully funded, 8-week online course covers everything you need to know about entrepreneurship as a military spouse or partner. It's available for any partner or spouse of serving regular or reservist armed forces personnel and is funded by the Armed Forces Covenant Fund Trust and the Ministry of Defence. Learn more and sign up at milspo.co.uk/course. The course starts in September, and applications are open NOW!

Join Jess Sands in this inspiring episode of The InDependent Spouse as she welcomes the incredible duo behind the award-winning podcast, Pad Wives Assemble – Sophs and Kirsha! Tune in as they dive into the realities of modern military life, discussing everything from building a supportive tri-service community to challenging outdated stereotypes about military spouses. Sophs and Kirsha share their journey of creating Pad Wives Assemble, born from a desire to provide a fun, safe, and inclusive space for armed forces families to connect and feel heard, with a few giggles along the way. They open up about overcoming negative feedback, the power of positive messages from their listeners, and the daily ups and downs of military life. Discover the story behind their surprising UK Top Influencer Award win and why visibility for military families is so crucial in today's world. Plus, get ready to be inspired by their incredible charitable initiatives! Sophs and Kirsha reveal their ongoing efforts to support veterans' mental health through Combat Stress and tease their exciting "Rationed and Ready: The Pad Wife Trials" YouTube series – a three-day immersive military-style challenge created by veterans, all for a great cause. This episode is a testament to the resilience, strength, and incredible community spirit of military spouses. Whether you're navigating deployments, solo parenting, or simply looking for relatable stories and a good laugh, Sophs and Kirsha remind us that we are all in this together. Key Takeaways: Building Community: The importance of creating inclusive spaces for all military spouses, regardless of service or rank, to share experiences and find support. Challenging Stereotypes: How open and honest conversations can break down misconceptions about military spouses and partners. The Power of Connection: The profound impact of shared stories and a friendly voice in combating loneliness and isolation in military life. Resilience in Action: Inspiring examples of military spouses turning personal challenges into thriving platforms and charitable endeavors. Giving Back: The dedication of Pad Wives Assemble to supporting veterans' mental health and other community initiatives. About Pad Wives Assemble: Pad Wives Assemble is an award-winning podcast created by Sophs and co-hosted by Kirsha, focusing on the realities of military life with a fun, honest, and inclusive approach for tri-service families. They are passionate about building community, challenging stigmas, and supporting charitable causes related to the armed forces. Connect with Pad Wives Assemble: www.padwivesemble.co.uk Events Mentioned: "Rationed and Ready: The Pad Wife Trials" - A six-part YouTube series coming soon, documenting a three-day military-style challenge for charity.. Pad Wives Assemble Gala - An event featuring live performers, casino tables, raffles, and veterans sharing their stories, with voting proceeds going to Combat Stress. Tickets available on their website. Battle of the Forces - A boxing charity night in collaboration with veterans, aiming to become its own charity entity. Nuts Challenge Run - Fundraising for a veteran to open a jacket potato van that will employ other veterans. About The InDependent Spouse Podcast: Hosted by Jess Sands, The InDependent Spouse is your go-to podcast for inspiration and support in modern military life. Jess shares real stories of resilience and success from military partners, aiming to create a sense of belonging and remind listeners they are not alone. Connect with The InDependent Spouse: www.milspo.co.uk/podcast Free Business Startup Course: Available at www.milspo.co.uk/course

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The InDependent Spouse Podcast! In this episode, your host Jess Sands sits down with the phenomenal Ria Jackson, an RAF veteran, founder of "The V Word," and CEO of Inclusive Minds UK. Join us as Ria shares her extraordinary journey of self-discovery and resilience, and learn about her mission to champion neuro-inclusion. Episode Highlights: A "Squiggly Career" in the RAF: Ria shares her 12-year journey in the military, starting as a mover and ultimately pivoting to become an avionic engineer on Typhoons. She discusses how her diverse experiences in the forces, including extensive travel, provided invaluable lessons and shaped her squiggly path. The Transition and Unexpected Challenges: Discover the personal reasons behind Ria's decision to leave the RAF at the 12-year mark, including finding her life partner and facing medical downgrades due to knee injuries. She bravely opens up about the struggles of finding a job while pregnant and how this led her unexpectedly into education. Unveiling Neurodivergence: Ria transparently shares her journey through mental health difficulties post-military and motherhood, which ultimately led to her diagnosis of ADHD and dyspraxia. This pivotal moment transformed her self-awareness into profound self-acceptance. The Birth of The V Word and Inclusive Minds UK: Learn how Ria's personal need for community and an outlet for expression led to the accidental creation of "The V Word," an online community for women veterans. She recounts the viral success of her blog post "The Odd One Out," which gained 1.5 million views, and how this platform, though initially an escapism, became her "saviour" and laid the groundwork for Inclusive Minds UK. The Power of Neuro-Inclusion: Ria passionately explains why neuro-inclusion matters to everyone, emphasizing the human need to belong and create spaces where everyone can bring their whole selves. She discusses the importance of meeting others with curiosity and kindness, fostering growth and understanding rather than conflict. The IM Hub: An Accessible Resource: Get an exclusive insight into Ria's new venture, "The IM Hub," a purpose-built platform designed to make learning about neuro-inclusion affordable and accessible for all – from parents and partners to managers and individuals who are "neuro-curious." She highlights the hub's unique shared model of influence, offering insights from professionals with lived, medical, and academic experience. Language, Identity, and Growth: Ria shares powerful anecdotes about the evolving landscape of language around neurodiversity and the importance of owning mistakes and continuously learning. She emphasizes that identity is personal and that true support comes from understanding the individual, not just their diagnosis. About Ria Jackson: Ria Jackson is an RAF veteran, the visionary founder of 'The V Word' (a women veterans online community), and the CEO of Inclusive Minds UK. Her work with Inclusive Minds UK is dedicated to normalising neuro-inclusion, creating safe and supportive environments where everyone can thrive. Connect with Ria & Inclusive Minds UK: www.inclusivemindsuk.com About The InDependent Spouse Podcast: The InDependent Spouse podcast, hosted by Jess Sands, is your essential guide to navigating modern military life. It's a place for inspiration and support, sharing real stories of resilience and success from the armed forces family to remind you that you're not alone. What started as a passion project in 2018 has grown into a thriving business network, helping military spouses build their own businesses and find success that thrives in military life. Connect with The InDependent Spouse: www.milspo.co.uk/podcast Explore free tools, resources, and upcoming courses like the business startup course in September!

In this inspiring episode, host Jess Sands welcomes Lulu from the Marama Alliance, a vibrant community dedicated to supporting Fijian women and their families in the UK armed forces. Lulu shares her personal journey of moving from Fiji to the UK as a military spouse, facing challenges like adapting to a new climate and navigating unfamiliar systems like working in the UK, opening bank accounts, and that pesky married quarter heating. This episode highlights the incredible resilience and unity of the Fijian military community and the vital role Marama Alliance plays in helping these families thrive while preserving their rich cultural heritage. Key Takeaways: The Power of Community: Discover how the Fijian community in the UK armed forces provides essential support, from helping new arrivals with practical needs like setting up a home to celebrating cultural events and offering emotional connection. Cultural Preservation & Integration: Learn about Marama Alliance's efforts to keep Fijian culture alive through initiatives like Fijian Language Week and community gatherings, while also encouraging integration into the wider UK society. Navigating the Unknown: Lulu candidly discusses the unique challenges faced by Commonwealth military spouses, particularly concerning immigration status, housing, and resettlement when leaving the military, emphasizing the importance of early preparation. The Importance of Expanding Your Network: Lulu encourages military spouses to connect beyond their immediate military or cultural communities to expand their networks, find job opportunities, and gain diverse perspectives. Advice for New Spouses: Lulu shares invaluable advice for new military spouses moving to a new country: keep an open mind, be flexible, and don't hesitate to ask questions – there are no silly questions. About the Guest: Lulu is a driving force behind the Marama Alliance, a non-profit community organization dedicated to supporting Fijian women and their families in the UK. The alliance provides crucial information, creates community, and helps members navigate the complexities of military life and integration in a new country. They are working towards establishing themselves as a charity to further expand their vital programs and initiatives. Connect with Marama Alliance: https://www.maramaalliance.com/ About The InDependent Spouse Podcast: The InDependent Spouse podcast, hosted by Jess Sands, is your essential guide to navigating modern military life. Jess shares inspirational stories of resilience and success from military partners, offering support and community for those juggling family, business, and finding their place in the military world. Connect with The InDependent Spouse: https://milspo.co.uk/podcast Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to The InDependent Spouse Podcast for more inspiring stories and support!

Welcome to The InDependent Spouse podcast, your go-to place for inspiration and support in navigating modern military life. In this episode, host Jess Sands sits down with the incredible Camilla Howard: an RAF veteran, an Army spouse, a forces child, and a dedicated advocate for the military spouse community. After 12 years in the RAF, Camilla transitioned to a civilian career with Compass Group UK and Ireland. She details how her passion for supporting military families led her to co-chair Compass Group's Armed Forces network, a role that allows her to champion initiatives for spouses and veterans. Listen along to discover: Camilla's personal anecdotes about the "interesting balance" of dual-serving military careers and raising a child amidst frequent moves. How Compass Group actively supports military spouses through their innovative yet simple spouses policy, including endeavoring to redeploy spouses on posting, celebrating an annual Spouses Day during Armed Forces Week, and offering an extra day of leave for deployment collection or drop-off. The importance of the Armed Forces network's advocacy roundtables, which bring together companies to share best practices and encourage more organizations to genuinely support the military community. Camilla's invaluable advice for military spouses navigating career transitions: "release the pressure valve on yourself", understand your "red line areas", and leverage your network. Why military spouses possess unique and highly beneficial skill sets that are an asset to any company. Camilla emphasizes that the military community is not about "pity parties", but about highlighting the incredible talent and resilience within it. If you're a corporate interested in starting your own Armed Forces network or learning more about Compass Group's initiatives, you can reach out via AFC@compass-group.co.uk Discover More from The InDependent Spouse Podcast: https://milspo.co.uk/podcast/ Inspired by Camilla's journey and feeling that spark to build something for yourself? We get it. At Milspo, we're more than just a community; we're a supportive hub where military spouses, partners, and other-halves transform challenges into incredible business opportunities. You're not alone in navigating postings, deployments, or the unique rhythm of military life – we're right there with you. If you're ready to move from feeling overwhelmed to empowered, and from isolated to connected, our website is your next step. It's the go-to place for inspiration, practical strategies, and genuine connections with others who truly understand. Stop feeling lost and start building a sustainable business that thrives, not just survives your modern military life. www.milspo.co.uk