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You Have It So Easy! Resentment, Ease, and Reaching for the Good
In this episode, Dara considers the elements that contribute to our resentment buckets and shoulder chips. He believes time and the ease of others are two key ingredients in the mix. He confesses to giving voice to some very uncharitable resentfulness around the time he became a father. He also speaks carefully around a significant source of resentment in his marriage.
Prickliness can accompany resentment, and Dara recalls someone he knew who disinvited everyone from his party because they hadn't RSVP'd in time! He considers his attitude to parties and hosting and shares how it's connected to the management system in his childhood homes and why his kitchen overflowed with goodies once he got out in the big bad world.
Also in this episode, an analysis of an 18th century painting of Penelope, she of Greek myth, and a review of the documentary Will & Harper, which Dara found to be a beautiful testament to friendship, and to male friendship in particular.
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186. The 2024 Christmas Special!
01:02:43||Ep. 186It's the 2024 Christmas Special! Pulling it out of the bag at the eleventh hour, Dara presents a very short, but somehow shaggy interview with his daughter Maeve, who gives a shout-out to Harry Styles, of all people. This is followed by this year's new Christmas story, 'Arrivals'. It follows a father who tries to honour his faith in his missing son by being at a certain place on a certain day every year. Will his faith be rewarded? A quiet and quietly rewarding story for the season that's in it.Finally, the episode plays out with an acapella version of a traditional Christmas carol. Listen, if you dare!Website: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout185. Dara, Meet Dara – The Story of How I Met My Sister!
01:05:40||Ep. 185In this episode, Dara is speaking from a position of powerlessness thanks to the after-effects of Storm Darragh, which ripped through many parts of Ireland last week with an unforgiving ferocity.Dara wishes there was more unforgiving ferocity for FIFA, the football organisation that continues to embrace sportswashing with disturbing immorality. In other areas of concern, he celebrates Arundhati Joy’s indictment of Israel’s ongoing perpetration of war crimes in Palestine. Not for the first time, Dara argues that to be critical of Israel need not make one anti-Semitic.Moving on to more cheery subjects, Dara relates the story of how he met his sister for the first time only eighteen months ago. Coincidences abound as he recalls their first moment of contact and the ensuing sharing of information. Most memorable was their first meeting and a hug that will never be forgotten.Also, yet another making of the case for 1944’s ‘Meet Me in St. Louis’ being the ultimate template for the sitcom format that would become ubiquitous in the years to come.The ClearOut episode on Ann Lovett and Joanne Hayes - https://theclearout.com/podcast/the-cost-of-neglect-or-for-whom-will-you-wear-a-yellow-flower-episode-101/Guardian review of Dan Stone's The Holocaust: An Unfinished Story - https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/jan/15/the-holocaust-an-unfinished-history-by-dan-stone-review-a-timely-corrective-to-a-shifting-narrative184. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year? Ask Me Sponge Balls!
47:24||Ep. 184In this episode, Dara is warming up for the festive season by acknowledging how stress-inducing it can all get and how it really isn't for everybody. In his own household a new permutation is longed for by some, which doesn't entirely suit him.He's also concerned for his daughter, who has reached the age where the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus is no longer as real to her as it once was. He is not planning to shatter her illusions any further and in fact will lean in even more to prop up the suspension of disbelief. And where better to start than with a box of snowballs! Not those ones, the other ones...Speaking of other ones, Dara selects three left-of-centre Christmas poems for something a bit different. They each have their own qualities to recommend them, but he particularly liked the poem that featured 'squamous' and 'mingeless'. Where else would you get it?Mollie Guidera's brilliant Irish advocacy - https://www.instagram.com/irishwithmollie/Conchobhar Ruadh's beautiful mix of Irish language, history and culture - https://www.instagram.com/sli_na_ruadhWebsite: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout183. Men Need Not Apply - Women Who Leave Men Behind
01:07:37||Ep. 183In this episode, Dara looks at the idea of psychological defeat and the metaphorical hills we are determined to die on. Fundamentally an issue of faith in one's own psyche and worldview, what happens when our confidence in that vision begins to crumble? Can faith be restored?A recent interview with Isabella Rossellini raised the spectre of women who no longer need men. Dara feels like he has been encountering this notion more and more and wonders if it is related to women's post-fertility years. Without reducing the female of the species to menopausal cliches, he asks if men and women swap sensibilities as they age - do women become more masculine, and men more feminine? He also pushes back against the idea of women being 'such emotional creatures', as he recently heard them described - yes, by a man.After acknowledging his own emotional fluency, and that of many of his male friends, Dara shares thoughts on two Hollywood documentaries he just watched - one on Elizabth Taylor and one on Christopher Lee. He is caught out by a connection with Taylor that leaves him a bit uncomfortable. He also reviews The Apprentice - the story of Donald Trump's emergence as a major player in 80s New York - and We Live In Time, the full throttle romantic drama starring an exceedingly charming Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield.Finally, the show is interrupted by a very unexpected guest just before wrapping up...Website: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout182. The Anticlimax of Megalopolis, or What Would You Do With Coppola's Money?
52:44||Ep. 182In this episode, Dara is spurred to reflect on Francis Ford Coppola's latest film, 'Megalopolis'. In the great master's wild and not-so-wonderful saga, one brilliant man carries the burden of saving society from itself, but must contend with a rival who epitomises more mundane aspirations. Is the film about Coppola himself, or is it his thesis statement of whose visions are worth following? Whatever about its intention, the execution is an unwieldy mess.Having financed the movie himself and made clear how much it was a labour of love, Dara wonders what other deserving projects might benefit from Coppola's alleged $120,000,000 budget. He argues for public spaces dedicated to the safe expression of personal concerns. Quiet, non-judgemental spaces where thoughtfulness and consideration could be facilitated.Sometimes it takes work to identify what really concerns us. Dara offers a simple mental exercise to help drop down through the gears to engage with deep listening.Website: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout181. The Humble Art of Reading the Room, or It's Not All About You!
54:05||Ep. 181In this episode, Dara shares final thoughts on the US presidential election and speculates that the Democrats still haven't shaken the patronising habit of belittling those who disagree with them. He argues that if you take this attitude in the world of martial arts, you are setting yourself up to fail - the assumption of superiority is a dangerous flex of ego that can result in complacency and abdicated diligence.Dara thinks the skill of reading the room is a primal instinct connected to threat identification and normalcy barometers. He explores what that might look like at a macro and interpersonal level, before turning the reading toolkit on oneself. Doesn't it all come back to senses and feelings? And what role does the passage of time have to play in reading the interior landscape?In considering shared spaces, Dara wonders what kind of jigsaw piece a person might be. He identifies his own leanings very quickly and not for the first time reiterates the raison d'etre of the podcast in relation to that. It is definitely connected to the tension between ego and humility...Website: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/theclearout2Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout180. Four More Years! Trump Restored and Gore Vidal's Presidential Writings
01:12:30||Ep. 180In this episode, Dara reacts to the re-election of Donald Trump to the US presidency. Did the Democrats and Kamala Harris once again fail to take seriously Trump and the Republican voter base? Whatever the cause, politicians of the liberal centre or centre-left have not been convincing enough to get themselves back into power. Four more years of Trump is a worrying prospect for the larger wellness of a very divided nation.Admitting the limitations of his own political analysis, Dara turns to an incisive commentator of yesteryear - the brilliant Gore Vidal, whose sardonic voice spoke comprehensively on American public life, among other topics. In 1968, the liberal Vidal memorably featured in televised political debates with the conservative William F. Buckley, which descended into a barely controlled slanging match by their conclusion, choice epithets being volleyed back and forth with ever increasing venom.Dara reads in full two of Vidal's pieces of writing on the US presidency. The first, The Real Two-Party System, is a short article written before the election of Ronald Reagan in 1980. It questions the very idea of representation in US politics. The second, Armageddon? was written at the end of Reagan's second term and is a skewering of the president's shared and widely-publicised belief in a Christian end-of-the-world consummation. The unforgiving cynicism on display is a testament to eyes that were in no danger of having the wool pulled over them, especially by an 'Acting President'.Vidal vs Buckley documentary, Best of Enemies - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3518012/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_5_tt_4_nm_4_in_0_q_the%2520best%2520of%2520enemiesWebsite: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/theclearout2Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout179. Staying with the Female Experience of Violence and the Power Imbalance - From Looking for Mr. Goodbar to Woman of the Hour
01:12:26||Ep. 179In this episode, Dara considers violence against women and the recent clear-eyed responses to it by Hollywood regulars Anna Kendrick and Saoirse Ronan, as seen in Kendrick's impressive directorial debut 'Woman of the Hour', and as heard in Ronan's bulletproof interjection on the Graham Norton show. After reviewing Kendrick's chilling movie and contextualising Ronan's comments, he recalls a key moment of Rachel McAdams' character in the second season of True Detective which laid out with absolute clarity the power differential between men and women.Dara anticipates self-defence instruction for his daughter in the future and talks about the significance of power and strength imbalances in karate when a male and female practitioner face each other, which was often the case between him and his last instructor. He looks at the male responsibility to think about how they are perceived by women in different contexts and how easy it is to make small changes in behaviour to minimise negative assumptions. Regarding how he thinks of himself as a male of the species, he revisits memories of boyhood and adolescence where he certainly was not seen as threatening!A key corollary of women being preyed upon is how often they are not listened to, ignored, blamed for their own misfortune, deliberately misinterpreted or otherwise dismissed. It begs the question - when will sexual or violent assaults of women be treated with the seriousness they warrant? And how is it, almost 50 years after the harrowing ending of 'Looking for Mr. Goodbar', that a female treatment of violence against women is still somehow niche or novel? As Marina Hyde in The Guardian said, women are no longer in the mood for joking about this stuff.Marina Hyde on Saoirse Ronan's comment: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/oct/29/chatshow-saoirse-ronan-graham-norton-womenWebsite: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/theclearout2Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout178. I Felt That, or Emotional Travelling with Fictional Characters
01:09:46||Ep. 178In this episode, Dara talks about the characters we respond to in the art we consume. Having been very stirred by 'Joker: Folie a Deux', he stays in the world of movies and finds himself thinking about Jungian archetypes and the shadow self we can see reflected at us from the big screen. Speaking about that film, which has heavily promoted Lady Gaga as the joint draw of the story along with Joaquin Phoenix's compelling title character, he argues that it is what transpires between the Joker and Brendan Gleeson's prison officer that really unlocks the film and its grim depiction of human damage.Further to that, Dara reasons that the film is really a stealth social realism movie in the style of Ken Loach or Mike Leigh, exposing as it does systemic failure and the impotent rage of the discarded. 1991's 'The Silence of the Lambs' is also discussed in psychological terms with particular reference to the 'daddy issues' of Clarice Starling as brilliantly played by Jodie Foster in her relationship with Anthony Hopkins' devious Hannibal Lecter. What makes Lecter such an attractive character to us, and why did audiences not feel the same way when Brian Cox played him five years earlier in 'Manhunter'?Dara talks also about meeting earlier versions of yourself and whether change is just a nice story we tell ourselves. Part of that line of enquiry includes coping mechanisms and calming measures connected to seeking insights and encouraging curiosity, and importantly for him, resisting fatalistic thinking. Finally, there's time to quickly mention a moment of public sharing in connection with masculinity and demonstrated vulnerability and openness that was hopefully a moment of value.Website: https://theclearout.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/theclearout2Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/YouTube: The ClearOut PodcastEmail: theclearoutlive@gmail.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout