The Upshot

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635Plus: The BBC colleague who drove Wayne Rooney to get the snip and Jamie Redknapp’s secret alter ego for picking up girlsDownload SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot Links from the pod:Troy Parrott’s missed panenka: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1paoohe/troy_parrott_penalty_miss_vs_twente_908_at_10/ Vietnam’s intervision entry: https://youtu.be/EIqntldQyE0?si=9MEw4Wzb-2sQyVK2&t=61 Wayne Rooney on Mr Tumble: https://youtu.be/Ad2w_WgZhB8?si=GblGv5FHHWpBpLRC&t=159 In case you don’t know Mr Tumble: https://youtu.be/jMwbHIQRVME?si=bCyD1r1CvFphHXCX&t=300 Paul Chuckle’s gangster movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AHwNkf4_QI Gary Lineker in Mexico with his daughter-in-law: https://x.com/GaryLineker/status/1995172259494056379 Ajax fans mental pyrotechnics: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRss_VCkrDm 

The name Kevin Keegan should conjure images of glittering European nights, mazy dribbles and Balon d’Or wins.But for most people, football’s unluckiest icon is remembered for four words: I WOULD LOVE IT.And he’s had plenty of bad luck.He was beaten up by drug dealers, discovered Father Christmas’ lifeless corpse, and got shot in the face with a bow and arrow.From undercover gigolos to getting banged up in Serbia, this is his story…Links from the pod: Green Cross code ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE8Lk2kSCDoScoring in FA Cup final: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=gagQcslGM0t59KHN&t=223&v=xFY67LtZn-0&feature=youtu.beHis hit single: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJdW7-MnXtc&t=21sI would love it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=ip99jIR-GKnNQwij&t=5&v=mk87a7r0V60&feature=youtu.beWill he score: http://www.youtube.com/watch?si=1-R7l9C-zzx9NIfq&t=9&v=k6Bupc_sE4g&feature=youtu.be

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635(Tickets go on sale 10am Thursday)Plus: John Terry fights to free Britain’s most notorious prisoner, Newcastle fans shagging in the Marseille toilets, The Olympic Star whose lawyer advised him to murder a witness.EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐Links from the pod:Dennis Wise video for Charles Bronson: https://www.instagram.com/p/DRKU6KPjIM4/ And Razor Ruddock’s: https://www.tiktok.com/@freecharlesbronson/video/7533271684023930134

Plus: disgraced Spanish FA chief Luis Rubiales is egged by his uncle, the Serbian WAG who’s dad was a warlord, and our man Down Under gives us the inside scoop on Ashes Eve.Sign up to The Upshot’s Patreon for EARLY ACCESS TICKETS TO OUR LIVE TOUR next April. Do not miss out!https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Use code UPSHOT at https://uk.manscaped.com/ to get 15% off plus free shipping.Links from the pod:ESPN Brazil commentary of Troy Parrott’s winner: https://x.com/ballsdotie/status/1990315434797875497 Kevin Doyle in RTE studio: https://www.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/1oyuman/the_rte_studio_after_parrott_scored Barmy Army awful song: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQQ9RevDGnz/?hl=en Luis Rubiales gettin’ egged: https://x.com/MenInBlazers/status/1989139463587639324 Luis Rubiales uncle pic: https://www.instagram.com/p/BzH6x_vFUi6/?hl=en 

Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops. And he’ll never trust the establishment again.But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started.In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather…Links from the pod: Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXIosCrCLYCalling out Ian Wright on GB News: https://x.com/beardedgenius/status/1634290810115039233Withdraws consent to be governed: https://x.com/mattletiss7/status/1679913916313239569Looking at Rishi Sunak in DISGUST: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GCm3ZX2WMAA_hFr.jpgLivestream with numerologist: https://x.com/Nullen80/status/1780210491878465642

Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by securityEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐Links from the pod:Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624Join The Upshot’s Patreon for never-heard details of Balotelli’s firework house fire, plus the swinging 60s tale of champagne-swigging, spy-shagging Man City legend Malcolm Allison.https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero.A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night.But then things got a bit weird.In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed.This is his story…Links from the pod:Amazing goal vs Blackburn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cx59N1wHcs 

Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent.Get The White Hot Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra for 15% OFF with code UPSHOT at Manscaped.com! #ManscapedPartnerLinks from the pod:Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_queryZenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248 Divas del futbol: https://www.instagram.com/divasdelfutboloficial/ Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the blundering mayhem of Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot… https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).