The Upshot

Plus: Alan Shearer’s trapped in hell, Ben White’s off to fight the Taliban and Gordon Brown’s negotiating transfersJoin Jack and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Morteza Mehdad in action : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdkWQgM7XoQShearer talking about his train journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7cF_hv8SBg&t=114sMotherwell TV commentary: https://x.com/racingblogger/status/1830236543006695598Arbroath TV: https://x.com/TunnockCup/status/1612501422825738242https://x.com/SPFLWatch/status/1742675443143106682Kobayashi v Joey Chesnut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RXo3A9w29U

You probably remember Thomas Gravesen as a wild-eyed Dane who swapped Goodison for the Galacticos.But off the pitch, he was absolutely insane. The Danish midfielder dated pornstars, brought dynamite to training and once spunked $54 million in one night.Meet Real Madrid's most unlikely Galactico…Links from the pod:Real Madrid team photo: https://scontent-lhr6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/153688071_4027794680635962_8577575528478853911_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=7b2446&_nc_ohc=-Rsn5h11lz8Q7kNvgGtCKhX&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr6-1.xx&oh=00_AYC4HzDPYBDL3ZrSXhDh7wtC9rKWVmIIkTXTcLOdyjtApA&oe=66FD1D98Putting his knob in teammates ear: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Drp2JuHWkAEea64.jpgMarca ogre front page: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/AxXE94lCMAAgWwK.jpgFighting Ronaldo: https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article13192570.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_h_00425537.jpgFighting Robinho: https://x.com/sid_lambert/status/1289825291028664320/photo/4Si Ferry story: https://fb.watch/u70I-fgvMJ/

Plus: Remembering Sven, managers on coke and Robbie Earle’s 36 blonde modelsJoin Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Christophe Daum claiming to be more Romanian than Romanian journalists: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=Jo4gaXGtpmsobz_s&t=113&v=XUeOhGOD7z8&feature=youtu.be Jermaine Jenas on Michael McIntyre: https://x.com/lewisa95/status/1826907030625415659 Gus Poyet sacked live on air: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdF4oHzHr8A Trump makes Nick Faldo his running mate: https://x.com/Acyn/status/1822137749660430543

Ronaldo put the naughty in noughties. The gap-toothed genius lived on a diet of booze, burgers and Brazilian booty, and still found time to win two Ballon d'Ors.From half time fags to flogging porn to Pato, this is the story of O Fenômeno...Links from the pod:Three episode stint on teen soap opera: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1659168819804352516 Haircut inspired by cartoon character: https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/diarioas/KEEXXTITK5OHBBZA6MEDQHMQVI.jpgMum left fuming after barber gives ‘unaccompanied’ son a Ronaldo haircut: https://www.joe.co.uk/life/mum-left-fuming-after-barber-gives-unaccompanied-son-a-ronaldo-haircut-4007012007 Simpsons cameo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHILxxz-A_EVideo coming out of lift looking overweight: https://x.com/ESPNUK/status/1241371514215243781

Chelsea in chaos, Nicolas Pepe’s pornstar girlfriend and a Russian chess star poisons her rival mid-gameJoin Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Videos from the pod:Chelsea’s 42 man squad in the gym: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1824520610606878743/video/1Todd Boehly’s crazy transfer spend: https://x.com/Kaspitalize/status/1823704637498601868/photo/1Ronaldinho’s son filming training sessions at Barca: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKlwlDzboAAzo5Q.jpgMcBurnie aftersun: https://estaticos-cdn.prensaiberica.es/clip/c210ce8c-bbf8-4103-8bdf-a9d11e92edc7_16-9-aspect-ratio_default_1320477.jpgOli McBurnie stamping on fan’s phone: https://x.com/SufcLuke_/status/1391505893544562690 YouGov poll of Brits who think they’d qualify for Olympics: https://yougov.co.uk/sport/articles/50301-a-quarter-of-britons-think-they-could-qualify-for-the-2028-olympicsAngel di Maria looking skinny and weird: https://talksport.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2020/05/GettyImages-473987402-1-e1588752172996.jpg?strip=all&quality=100&w=1920&h=1440&crop=1Aguero cocaine enquiry: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-huVn7Iq_W/ Chess player poisoning the board with mercury: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPFV0yBB_X4

The Arsenal dressing room of the 1990s was absolutely mental. It was ruled by a riotous ring of badly-behaved boozers like Tony Adams, Paul Merson and Ray Parlour. They called themselves "The Tuesday Club".From machete-wielding gangsters to stints in the slammer, this is the tale of Gooners Gone Wild…Links from the pod:Ray Parlour aged 12: https://x.com/football_mumble/status/1271410319848587264 Charlie Nicholas’ awful banter with Jeff Stelling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5FsadHcoVA Ray Parlour cobra bomb: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1574720819187564546

Managers caught in brothels, Wayne Rooney’s x-rated team talks, and is Vincent Kompany an absolute bastard?Join Zak Attak ‘n Coopz for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Videos from the pod:Vincent Kompany bollocking Gudmundsson: https://x.com/secondtierpod/status/1822932103379464543 Non-league manager having a pint in an interview: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-kviZuInhO/

At 20 years old, Jamie Vardy was playing eighth tier football with an ankle tag on. And at 24, he was still working at a prosthetic limbs factory.Five years later he was a Premier League champion.From skittles vodka every night to the Wagatha Christie saga, this is the far-fetched fairytale of a Premier League legend…Links from the pod:Play off semi-final against Watford 2013: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJYtDPcd-fU Nigel Pearson strangling James McArthur: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=342055126509288Pearson calling journalist an ostrich: https://youtu.be/4xfdk3MliFc?si=auo9JQRzfbehtxJm&t=16 Vardy’s daughter playing rock, paper, scissors: https://youtu.be/OP7vlyxxBtM?si=zQLn0Tudt644Tz_q&t=22 Vardy courtroom sketch: https://i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk/incoming/article26992221.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/1_FS-k5s3XsAEBRCX.jpgRooney courtroom sketch: https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2022/05/18/14/57878627-10828547-Coleen_Rooney_sits_next_to_her_husband_Wayne_Rooney_on_May_12_in-a-1_1652880025532.jpg

Pole Vaulters doing porn, Neil Lennon’s Bucharest bender and the turd-riddled Seine claims its first victims. It’s another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Videos from the pod:Dutch runner who sounds like Mickey Mouse: https://www.tiktok.com/@almost.co/video/7346062164878298401?lang=enHungover pole vault winner: https://x.com/SiavoushF/status/1820812332722688141Steve McClaren’s dutch accent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZnoP4sUV90 Irish rowers interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFvT-KoGgEM The Kloppelganger: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ei6vqj/shakhtar_donetsk_on_twitter_clarifies_no_its_not/Pole vaulter’s knob denies him spot in final: https://twitter.com/pauloMDtweets/status/1819714571688677404