The Upshot

Plus: Wayne Rooney’s on the ciders, Richard Keys is settling old scores and the Old Bill are arresting players on the pitch…Join Jack and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Richard Keys v Nigel Farage: https://x.com/richardajkeys/status/1831668295348449648Richard Keys v Jamie Redknapp: https://x.com/richardajkeys/status/1831777661812928645Rooney karaoke acapella: https://x.com/ladbible/status/1829260770850590902Rooney “make some fucking noise baby”: https://x.com/secondtierpod/status/1829142846516961489Steve McClaren at Jamaica training: https://www.instagram.com/p/C_i4x0Xv13Z/Paralympic marathon injustice: https://x.com/Pilar_Alegria/status/1832750956749926743?

**With returning guest Josh Berry.**Not many athletes can win sport’s biggest prizes while in the grips of a crystal meth addiction or weighed down by a comedy wig.But Andre Agassi isn’t most athletes.The American hothead hated tennis, munched amphetamines aged 10 and terrorized the cast of Friends.And he still won 8 grand slams.This is his story…Links from the pod:The pirate era: https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fd933bkocp3g71.jpgBrooke Shields Friends scene: https://youtu.be/hwkRDVQI7l8?si=9hc29U1LLita2aIR&t=53Things get ugly with Sampras at charity match: https://www.reddit.com/r/tennis/comments/wqkaai/things_get_ugly_between_two_legends_at_charity/

Plus: Alan Shearer’s trapped in hell, Ben White’s off to fight the Taliban and Gordon Brown’s negotiating transfersJoin Jack and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Morteza Mehdad in action : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdkWQgM7XoQShearer talking about his train journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7cF_hv8SBg&t=114sMotherwell TV commentary: https://x.com/racingblogger/status/1830236543006695598Arbroath TV: https://x.com/TunnockCup/status/1612501422825738242https://x.com/SPFLWatch/status/1742675443143106682Kobayashi v Joey Chesnut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RXo3A9w29U

You probably remember Thomas Gravesen as a wild-eyed Dane who swapped Goodison for the Galacticos.But off the pitch, he was absolutely insane. The Danish midfielder dated pornstars, brought dynamite to training and once spunked $54 million in one night.Meet Real Madrid's most unlikely Galactico…Links from the pod:Real Madrid team photo: https://scontent-lhr6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/153688071_4027794680635962_8577575528478853911_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=7b2446&_nc_ohc=-Rsn5h11lz8Q7kNvgGtCKhX&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr6-1.xx&oh=00_AYC4HzDPYBDL3ZrSXhDh7wtC9rKWVmIIkTXTcLOdyjtApA&oe=66FD1D98Putting his knob in teammates ear: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Drp2JuHWkAEea64.jpgMarca ogre front page: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/AxXE94lCMAAgWwK.jpgFighting Ronaldo: https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article13192570.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_h_00425537.jpgFighting Robinho: https://x.com/sid_lambert/status/1289825291028664320/photo/4Si Ferry story: https://fb.watch/u70I-fgvMJ/

Plus: Remembering Sven, managers on coke and Robbie Earle’s 36 blonde modelsJoin Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Christophe Daum claiming to be more Romanian than Romanian journalists: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=Jo4gaXGtpmsobz_s&t=113&v=XUeOhGOD7z8&feature=youtu.be Jermaine Jenas on Michael McIntyre: https://x.com/lewisa95/status/1826907030625415659 Gus Poyet sacked live on air: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdF4oHzHr8A Trump makes Nick Faldo his running mate: https://x.com/Acyn/status/1822137749660430543

Ronaldo put the naughty in noughties. The gap-toothed genius lived on a diet of booze, burgers and Brazilian booty, and still found time to win two Ballon d'Ors.From half time fags to flogging porn to Pato, this is the story of O Fenômeno...Links from the pod:Three episode stint on teen soap opera: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1659168819804352516 Haircut inspired by cartoon character: https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/diarioas/KEEXXTITK5OHBBZA6MEDQHMQVI.jpgMum left fuming after barber gives ‘unaccompanied’ son a Ronaldo haircut: https://www.joe.co.uk/life/mum-left-fuming-after-barber-gives-unaccompanied-son-a-ronaldo-haircut-4007012007 Simpsons cameo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHILxxz-A_EVideo coming out of lift looking overweight: https://x.com/ESPNUK/status/1241371514215243781

Chelsea in chaos, Nicolas Pepe’s pornstar girlfriend and a Russian chess star poisons her rival mid-gameJoin Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Videos from the pod:Chelsea’s 42 man squad in the gym: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1824520610606878743/video/1Todd Boehly’s crazy transfer spend: https://x.com/Kaspitalize/status/1823704637498601868/photo/1Ronaldinho’s son filming training sessions at Barca: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKlwlDzboAAzo5Q.jpgMcBurnie aftersun: https://estaticos-cdn.prensaiberica.es/clip/c210ce8c-bbf8-4103-8bdf-a9d11e92edc7_16-9-aspect-ratio_default_1320477.jpgOli McBurnie stamping on fan’s phone: https://x.com/SufcLuke_/status/1391505893544562690 YouGov poll of Brits who think they’d qualify for Olympics: https://yougov.co.uk/sport/articles/50301-a-quarter-of-britons-think-they-could-qualify-for-the-2028-olympicsAngel di Maria looking skinny and weird: https://talksport.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2020/05/GettyImages-473987402-1-e1588752172996.jpg?strip=all&quality=100&w=1920&h=1440&crop=1Aguero cocaine enquiry: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-huVn7Iq_W/ Chess player poisoning the board with mercury: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPFV0yBB_X4

The Arsenal dressing room of the 1990s was absolutely mental. It was ruled by a riotous ring of badly-behaved boozers like Tony Adams, Paul Merson and Ray Parlour. They called themselves "The Tuesday Club".From machete-wielding gangsters to stints in the slammer, this is the tale of Gooners Gone Wild…Links from the pod:Ray Parlour aged 12: https://x.com/football_mumble/status/1271410319848587264 Charlie Nicholas’ awful banter with Jeff Stelling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5FsadHcoVA Ray Parlour cobra bomb: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1574720819187564546

Managers caught in brothels, Wayne Rooney’s x-rated team talks, and is Vincent Kompany an absolute bastard?Join Zak Attak ‘n Coopz for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Videos from the pod:Vincent Kompany bollocking Gudmundsson: https://x.com/secondtierpod/status/1822932103379464543 Non-league manager having a pint in an interview: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-kviZuInhO/