The Upshot

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Our impending courtroom battle with Gianni Infantino, Romeo Beckham cucks his brother Brooklyn, and we unmask the mystery headbutter from Nicky Butt’s birthday.Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use code UPSHOTLinks from the pod:Infantino “I feel African” speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy9jaX9RAbA The Beckhams on Ali G: https://youtu.be/P842Tmi6lrc?si=4lhG8j3qePdDbcjY&t=486 Street preacher interrupted in Newcastle: https://x.com/_shaunmiller_/status/1914030703148155037 San Lorenzo president trousering a wad of cash: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1k4zdz9/marcelo_moretti_president_of_san_lorenzo_gets/ Jurgen Klopp at Coachella?:  https://www.facebook.com/reel/1478311966481175?fs=e&fs=e Celtic’s Adam Idah throwing up in a taxi: https://www.tiktok.com/@.idah._/video/7494299002691718422

Get part two RIGHT NOW and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers With his cane, monocle and cut glass accent, Chris Eubank isn’t your typical boxer.But he wasn’t always the fruity aristocrat you see today.He had knife fights at dominos tournaments, went on two day police chases, and raided an arcade for 20,000 10p coins.From poisoned chow meins to watching his own circumcision, this is the story of Britain’s weirdest world champion…Links from the pod:His real voice: https://www.tiktok.com/@mma.247_/video/7477711253511687446Knocks Reginaldo out in 20 seconds - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_qYqrfOmLQ ITV contract signing with Nigel Benn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji6hMwaBeiM

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Managers on the piss at Spoons, Joey Barton’s Turkey Teeth conspiracy theory and Rory McIlroy’s brutal jilting story.Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com when you use code UPSHOTLinks from the pod:Luis Suarez bites Jordi Alba: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/34447132/luis-suarez-bite-jordi-alba-inter-miami/ Vitor Pereira at Spoons: https://x.com/wwfcscott/status/1911520510636380545Wozniaki’s Rory McIlroy sleeping photo: https://images.app.goo.gl/qBUEUB4x5NZw4UVR9 Joey Barton on KDB’s Turkey teeth: https://www.tiktok.com/@common.sense.pod/video/7491972792179494166Katie Price terrifying teeth: https://images.app.goo.gl/EKg61VR97XQQfGCR6  

Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Ravel Morrison. Adriano. Freddy Adu.The staircase to footballing glory is littered with scintillating starlets who flew too close to the sun.But where did it all go wrong?From hardcore pornstars to a Serie A striker torpedoed by Kim Jong Un, meet the wonderkids who weren’t…With guest George WildeLinks from the pod:Kerlon’s seal dribble: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYlqql38XkY Kerlon dribble sparks a brawl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqRgdQC__Qk Adriano gold AK47: https://images.app.goo.gl/Cr61ks5f9adnL1Yv5

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Pipe bombs at Old Trafford, managers stealing players’ credit cards, and mystic animals boiled alive.Links from the pod:Dave Bassett on being sacked by Elton John: https://fb.watch/yQKTZPrr9n/ Old Trafford fake pipe bomb: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36307246 VAR official betting during matches: https://x.com/epicredcards/status/1907857817467252776 Fake bear at Chinese zoo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cu4mnPb4g4

Support the pod and unlock an exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowers As his dad lies in the wreckage of his car, Garrincha has fled towards the woods where a goat once popped his cherry. From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, this is the story of what happened next…With guest Yasmin Mills.Links from the pod:Elza Soares - Mas Que Nada: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_8LtWKZaz0 Dog pisses on Jimmy Greaves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPUMFGbOLQw&t=57s

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Wayne Rooney pissed on the streets of London and Erling Haaland accused of assault by Man City’s mascot.Links from the pod:Harry Redknapp after dinner speaking:https://x.com/dw_sports/status/1905595028560290186Wayne Rooney pissing on the street: https://images.app.goo.gl/ATjMnJSfTFdqNxTRA Turtle pissing on golf course: https://x.com/TheUltLineup_/status/1906445496606236688Haaland high five: https://x.com/TigerVishkit/status/1660342870459699200 Steve Bruce responds to Dwight Gayle: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ji319l/steve_bruce_on_dwight_gayle_criticizing_his/

Get part 2 NOW and unlock our exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowersEveryone knows Brazilian footballers love 3 things: boozing, showboating and shagging anything that moves. But none compares to Garrincha, the magical winger who lifted two World Cups, fathered 14 children and lost his virginity to a goat.From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, meet football's first wild child…With guest Horatio Gould (@horatiogouldcomedy)

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Make sure you sign up in your browser not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Neymar’s threesome spawns a pregnancy - but who’s the daddy: the brazil striker or his lookalike?Cristiano Ronaldo is sending secret messages to Putin and Trend AA in Madrid asks: “What’s the Spanish for ‘stop savin’ chat’”Links from the pod:Schweinsteiger booed as he announces he’s staying: https://x.com/MusialaEra/status/1904519742771073089Stop savin chat: https://x.com/CFCGiroud/status/1392147020064960519