The Unprofessionals

The lads are back and now tacking on, Fisheries: The lads storm the docks to “fix the fishing industry,” which mostly results in them arguing with a pelican and accidentally dropping someone’s lunch into the ocean. A strong start.Bird Flu: Next, they attempt to investigate bird flu by interrogating pigeons. One lad gets chased by a goose and declares it “an act of biological warfare.”Winter Sex Olympics: They somehow end up at the Winter Sex Olympics, where they’re immediately disqualified for mistaking the warm‑up area for the main event and high‑fiving the judges mid‑performance.Sweet Treats (Top 10 Worst Lollies): To recover, they review the Top 10 Worst Lollies — passionately.Highlights include:Calling licorice “a crime in chewy form”Debating whether those chalky heart candies are food or building materialsOne lad nearly gagging at the smell of banana‑flavored anythingA heated argument about whether jellybeans are “tiny lies”They end the day traumatized, sticky, and furious at the confectionery industry.

The lads link together like this: one bloke tries to buy a Valentine’s gift off Marketplace, but the “cute teddy” he finds looks like it’s survived a small house fire. The seller insists it’s “vintage.” The pickup turns into a full soapie moment when the seller’s ex shows up mid‑handover demanding the teddy back because “it has emotional history.”The lads watch this unfold like it’s Home and Away, offering commentary that makes zero sense but feels spiritually correct. Then, straight from the drama of a Bunnings carpark breakup, they roll into Super Bowl morning, eating chips at 8am and pretending to understand the rules while still emotionally invested in the fate of the one‑eyed teddy.

Yes, the lads are back — like a bad disease — the kind that laughs at antibiotics and thrives on cheap lager. They’ve rolled in with the confidence of men who haven’t done a load of laundry since 2009 and think “meal prep” means buying two pies instead of one.Meanwhile, the kids are back at school, which means your house has instantly transformed into a biological weapons lab. They’ve been back for one day and already brought home:A cough that sounds VictorianA mystery slimeAnd a note from the teacher that says “Please stop sending yoghurt without a lid”And today, because we’re intellectuals, we’re unpacking the world’s diseases — not scientifically, obviously, because the closest we’ve come to medical training is Googling “Is it normal to sneeze this loud”.Then we’re diving into the world’s greatest game shows, the ones that remind you that no matter how messy your life is, at least you didn’t lose $100,000 because you couldn’t spell “BANANA”.We’ve got:The Chase, where a man named “The Beast” ruins dreams for sportFamily Feud, where families discover they actually hate each otherDeal or No Deal, the show that proves humans cannot be trusted with briefcasesSo buckle up, grab a coffee, or whatever keeps your soul attached to your body.The lads are back, the kids are contagious, the world is weird, and this… is your weekly dose of nonsense.

The lads are back, stumbling heroically into the spotlight like they’ve just remembered they left the oven on. Australia’s issues are piling up faster than a Bunnings sausage queue on a Saturday, The Lord has conveniently decided now is the perfect time to go on holidays, and Edawg — bless his chaotic little heart — is somehow left to save the day.With the Lord sipping cocktails somewhere tropical and refusing to answer his phone, the lads are forced to tackle everything from national crises to minor inconveniences, armed with nothing but questionable confidence, half‑baked opinions, and a packet of Shapes they found in the glovebox. Meanwhile, Edawg is out here holding the country together with duct tape, enthusiasm, and a level of improvisation that really shouldn’t work but somehow does.

The lads have dragged themselves back in after the Christmas break looking like they’ve survived a Category 5 family gathering. One bloke’s still peeling from a sunburn so severe he’s basically a walking croissant. Another spent the entire break on the road getting verbally assaulted by every flog with a license and a Bluetooth headset. And then there’s the poor soul who got rostered on through the holidays — he’s aged ten years and now speaks exclusively in passive‑aggressive sighs.Morale is low, caffeine is high, and the group chat is already a war zone. And just when you think the universe might give them a breather, Trump pops back into the headlines doing whatever it is he does — providing enough unintentional comedy to power the entire episode without us lifting a finger

Christmas has hit The Unprofessionals and absolutely nothing is under control.The lads roll into the silly season firing on all cylinders — talking rubbish, telling questionable stories, and proving once again that professionalism is overrated. Expect laughs, chaos, a few Christmas hot takes, and zero life advice.Crack a beer, loosen the belt, and enjoy the festive mess.Merry Christmas from The Unprofessionals 🎅🍕

Strap in, legends — this episode detonates harder than a dhuie on 10lb line.E-Dawg finally snaps over the Western Australian fishing ban, and it’s safe to say…Roger may not be safe.Not the government, not the fisheries department, not even that one bloke at the ramp who “only kept two”. No one is spared as the Big Dawg howls into the mic like a wounded seal that knows it’s about to be tagged and released forever.Meanwhile, The Lord cracks open his soul and takes us on a very spiritual healing journey — the kind of journey that can only be achieved through trauma, introspection, and a large pizza that “made him hole again” (yes, hole, not whole — you’ll understand).And then there’s Evo, who’s aging like a sun-baked crab pot. He forgets more than he remembers, tells half a story, starts another one, then loops back to the start like a pensioner stuck in a roundabout. It’s chaos. It’s beautiful. It’s disturbing.Expect:🦐 Fishing rage🍕 Pizza therapy🧓 Memory loss (aggressive)🐟 Zero actual professionalism💩 Maximum amounts of rude, crude nonsenseIf you're easily offended… this ain’t for you.If you're not — welcome home.

This week on The Unprofessionals Podcast, the boys officially lose the plot.For reasons unknown (and probably medical), everyone sounds like a different animal:Evo comes in hot, screeching like a cockatoo that’s just found your car keys.The Lord rumbles through the episode like a wounded water buffalo with a Centrelink appointment.E-Dawg? Mate… pure alpha wolf energy mixed with a 3-day bender.And speaking of the Big Dawg — the team spends a full week celebrating his journey into the ancient realm. He’s older, he's slower, he’s louder, and he’s claiming it’s all "wisdom" when really it’s just his knees giving out.From animal impressions to mid-life revelations, this episode is a beautiful blend of chaos, ageing denial, and the unmatched energy of the Unprofessionals.

This episode is basically what happens when you mix poor decisions, caffeine, and a questionable moral compass.The boys dive into the big life question:“You’ve got 9 months left to live — what the hell are you doing?”Normal people say travel, family time, skydiving…But the Unprofessionals? ...... hmmm and what sets E-daweg off on a rant ??? is it the Karen Meanwhile, The Lord rocks up with drinks — and in true Lord fashion, it’s some questionable Kwinana camel piss you wouldn’t even serve your mother-in-law after she keyed your car.And then there’s Evo — the big-dicked, blessed, degenerate fuck who somehow adds zero value to the entire episode. If chaos, stupidity, and poor life choices had a baby — this episode would raise it.