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The Socially Distant Sports Bar
261: Medium Performance (Pt 2)
Ep. 530
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🎙️ The Socially Distant Sports Bar – Episode 261: Medium Performance
Elis James (Elis & John, Oh What A Time), Mike Bubbins (Mammoth), and Steff Garrero return for another week of niche sporting brilliance, poorly researched tangents, and top-tier nonsense.
This week we’ve got: good old-fashioned Welsh rugby nostalgia, Shaun Edwards’ eternal intensity, Millie Bright doing business, and the surprisingly emotional journey of a curling stone. Oh, and a Super Bowl, 1980s-style.
"Like a sports podcast, if the sport was optional."
🎟️ We’re Going on Tour in 2026!
That’s right – The Socially Distant Sports Bar is hitting the road in 2026!
Tickets go on general sale Friday 25 April via distantpod.com/live
🎫 Want early access? Join the Patreon on a paid tier and get in ahead of the crowd.
📍 Tour Dates:
- Fri 20 March 2026 – Cardiff, New Theatre
- Sat 21 March 2026 – Cardiff, New Theatre
- Tue 7 April 2026 – London, Hackney Empire
- Wed 8 April 2026 – London, Hackney Empire
- Fri 24 April 2026 – Carmarthen, Lyric Theatre
✨ What’s On This Week’s Episode?
📌 PART 1 (OUT WEDNESDAY)
Mike:
🗣️ Shaun on Danny – If you need motivation, Shaun Edwards has you covered. Again.
Elis:
🐏 Phil Pugh – Proper Old School – A classic clip from the golden era of Welsh hardmen.
Steff:
🏃♀️ Millie Bright Invests in Sports Bras – An important conversation about support, equality, and innovation in women’s sport.
📌 PART 2 (OUT FRIDAY)
Steff’s Documentary Pick:
🎓 The Gareth Southgate Lecture – Leadership, resilience, and an England manager being genuinely inspiring.
Elis’ Book Choice:
📖 Alternative Wales – Issue 17 – Welsh football culture, fan stories, and proper indie spirit.
📌 PART 3 (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
👉 Join us on Patreon for bonus episodes, spin-off shows, and pre-sale access to live shows.
Elis:
⚽ Angel Rangel – What a Guy – Swansea City’s Spanish cult hero.
Steff:
🏈 Watching the 1981 Super Bowl in the UK – It’s grainy, it’s weird, and it’s glorious.
Mike:
🧊 How Curling Stones Are Made – It’s oddly satisfying and a bit emotional.
💡 Get More of the Pod Every Week
🎧 Join Patreon for the full experience:
- Bonus Episodes – 30+ mins of extra content weekly.
- Hoffi Pod & Michael Owen’s Movie Club – Our beloved spin-offs.
- Gift Memberships – Give a mate the gift of nonsense.
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🎉 Another week of niche sport, cult heroes, and completely unnecessary tangents – only on The Socially Distant Sports Bar!
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If you fancy supporting the pod that way, head here 👇
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01:06:40||Ep. 812Mike Bubbins, Elis James and Steff Garrero are back in their respective studios after their trip to Clapham, and there's still plenty to discuss from their adventures in London.While Elis was bolting across the capital to get back for childcare, Steff was making an equally urgent dash for the toilet. Meanwhile, Mike was enjoying a period of sobriety that lasted right up until he spotted a pint of Madri.Several pints later, he's holding court on a train and somehow managing to steal a job from Elis as Great Western Railway's Cymru Connector.A remarkable career change, given that he was supposed to be having a quiet weekend.There's also an extensive discussion about erotic fiction before the boys finally remember they're supposed to be making a sports podcast.Finally, some sport!Mike brings in some rugby referees who might benefit from reconsidering their approach to the job, Elis has NFL legend Jason Kelce trying his hand at rugby, and Steff finds former Premier League striker Papiss Cissé taking Sunday league football rather more seriously than anyone expected.ClipsMike: (Some) Rugby Refereeshttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DeXEW7SirYX/?mdxt=OHIzbmI2ZjJ2NjZuElis: Jason Kelce Plays Rugbyhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DeXFVbKjYEf/?cplk=d3c4YjRseHZtZm0ySteff: Papiss Cissé Takes Sunday League Too Seriouslyhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DeZSoW2Jeu8/?rpxt=NG1lbHFmZHpob2gyTrains. Toilets. Erotic fiction. Papiss Cissé.Another perfectly normal week at The Socially Distant Sports Bar.Part 2, That's My Sense of Humour, will be out on Friday, featuring a documentary about an old friend of the podcast and a book about running an extraordinarily long way.And if you want the entire episode early and advert-free, including the exclusive Part 3, subscribe to Distant Pod Bonus Club on Apple Podcasts.Thanks for listening.811. Bad Coaching: Pint Size
18:46||Ep. 811Welcome to Pint-Sized Distant Pod.We've been back through our archive of episodes and we've selected our favourite stories, anecdotes and funny bits.If you're new to the pod, then feel free to use these as a jump off point to find your way around our earlier episodes.This clip is taken from "Episode 302: Piccalilli's Like Pegging"809. Live At Cheerful Earful With Kate Mason (pt 2)
50:26||Ep. 809We're back at The Cheerful Earful Festival in Clapham for the second half of our live show, and this time we've brought in someone who actually knows what they're talking about.Kate Mason is back!The brilliant journalist, broadcaster, podcaster and previous Socially Distant Sports Bar guest joins Elis James, Mike Bubbins and Steff Garrero for more sporting clips, stories and the sort of conversations that are almost certainly better conducted in front of a paying audience.Kate brings in the magnificent Shane Williams and a reminder of what happens when England football fans discover Oasis.Meanwhile, Mike has uncovered some boxing involving Bailey and Judith.If you haven't heard Part 1, go back and start there. You'll also discover why Mike might not be the most popular man in certain Edinburgh pubs.ClipsKate: Shane Williamshttps://youtu.be/IRaTsrmzhPI?is=3lOFE_0uBltBptN1Kate: England Wonderwallhttps://youtube.com/shorts/VwM_jKnmqHU?is=5rkDEmo8BSBiiA1-Mike: Bailey and Judith Boxinghttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DdmloGWxld1/?stkn=bzVpN2QwOGZvanQxThat's it for the regular feed this week.But there's more!We've kept back a bonus Q&A for our subscribers, including a quite remarkable number of questions about The Race.You can hear it through Distant Pod Bonus Club on Apple Podcasts, or find more exclusive Distant Pod content at:https://www.patreon.com/distantpodThanks to everyone who came to Clapham, to the Cheerful Earful team and, of course, to the brilliant Kate Mason.808. Live At Cheerful Earful (pt 1)
36:16||Ep. 808Welcome to the first half of our live show from The Cheerful Earful Festival in Clapham, available early and advert-free for Apple subscribers.Elis James, Mike Bubbins and Steff Garrero are back on stage, where Mike has a slightly awkward Edinburgh double-booking to explain.Once that's dealt with, there's Mike Ditka, some questionable half-marathon preparation and the usual amount of nonsense.Mike: Mike Ditkahttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DTrMqi7Di6m/?igsh=MWQ1dXJqaTA2MDlmag==Elis: Half-Marathon, Half-Cuthttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DeL1cYwxBAb/?stkn=cnJ4ZDRyYXZlNm41Part 2, featuring special guest Kate Mason, is also available on Friday, along with the exclusive Bonus Club Q&A on Apple807. I Took The Ferry: Pint Size
11:58||Ep. 807Welcome to Pint-Sized Distant Pod.We've been back through our archive of episodes and we've selected our favourite stories, anecdotes and funny bits.If you're new to the pod, then feel free to use these as a jump off point to find your way around our earlier episodes.This clip is taken from "Episode 152: A Circle Thank"805. Moulding Young Minds
42:34||Ep. 805Welcome to the second half of this week's Socially Distant Sports Bar, where Mike Bubbins, Elis James and Steff Garrero turn their attention to the documentary and book of the week.This time we're travelling back to 1988, when England's future football stars were being moulded at a residential school in Shropshire, before heading across the Atlantic to meet a man who helped create the only perfect season in modern NFL history.Two very different approaches to sporting excellence. Both involving a considerable amount of shouting, presumably.Documentary of the WeekElis: 1988 — Life at the FA School of ExcellenceElis has uncovered a wonderful piece of BBC archive footage from 1988, following a group of 14-year-old footballers arriving at the FA's School of Excellence at Lilleshall.More than 400 promising youngsters are offered trials, but just 16 are selected for two years of intensive football training, schooling and life away from home.Under the watchful eye of FA Technical Director Dave Sexton, the boys are being prepared for careers in professional football at a time when the modern academy system was still a distant dream.It's a fascinating glimpse into football development in the late 1980s, complete with the hairstyles, training gear, coaching methods and extraordinary confidence that only British television of that period could capture.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=viEnIRCR0hU&pp=ugUHEgVlbi1HQg%3D%3D&ra=mBook of the WeekMike: Head On by Larry CsonkaMike heads to America with Head On, the autobiography of legendary Miami Dolphins fullback Larry Csonka.A Hall of Famer, two-time Super Bowl champion and one of the toughest players of his generation, Csonka was at the heart of the Dolphins' extraordinary undefeated 1972 season.But this is about considerably more than American football.Csonka recounts his complicated relationship with legendary coach Don Shula, the personalities and excesses of the NFL in the 1970s, and a life away from sport that was frequently every bit as eventful as anything that happened on the field.It's a story of toughness, ambition, larger-than-life characters and an era when professional athletes appeared to live by an entirely different set of rules.https://www.amazon.co.uk/Head-Memoir-Larry-Csonka/dp/1637743254Sixteen teenage footballers in Shropshire. One enormous American footballer in Miami. And three middle-aged Welshmen discussing how it all went.Thanks for listening.For even more from The Socially Distant Sports Bar, including extra episodes and exclusive content, join us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/distantpod804. Blood and Guts
01:14:48||Ep. 804Another week at The Socially Distant Sports Bar, where Mike Bubbins, Elis James and Steff Garrero once again tackle the big sporting issues of the day. Or at least watch some clips and see where the conversation takes them.This week we're heading across the Atlantic for a bit of ice hockey, digging out some tennis rackets that should probably have stayed in the garage, and bringing together two of football's greats.Mike takes us to NHL opening night, where the Americans once again demonstrate that nobody does sporting spectacle quite like them.Steff has found Andy and Jamie Murray attempting to play tennis with some decidedly old-fashioned rackets, proving just how much technology has changed the game — and how difficult it is to look like a world-class tennis player when your equipment belongs in a museum.And Elis brings us Roy Keane and Zinedine Zidane. Two footballing legends.ClipsMike: NHL Opening Nighthttps://x.com/Buccigross/status/2105017215724798320Steff: Andy and Jamie Murray Hitting With Old Racketshttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/hVnyflisJN8https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oJdm7PL-GcIhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/bd-bTgqOPHsElis: Keane and Zidanehttps://www.instagram.com/reel/DeJ9KWQsF7T/?hl=en-gbIce hockey. Wooden rackets. Roy Keane. Zinedine Zidane.Blood and guts. And probably quite a lot of nonsense.Thanks for listening.For even more from The Socially Distant Sports Bar, including extra episodes, bonus content and everything else from the Distant Pod universe, join us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/distantpod803. Champions League Final: Pint Size
15:02||Ep. 803Welcome to Pint-Sized Distant Pod.We've been back through our archive of episodes and we've selected our favourite stories, anecdotes and funny bits.If you're new to the pod, then feel free to use these as a jump off point to find your way around our earlier episodes.This clip is taken from "Episode 293: George Lewis"801. Kurt Cobain Had Been Dead For Two Years
38:06||Ep. 801Welcome to this week's Socially Distant Sports Bar with Mike Bubbins, Elis James and Steff Garrero.This week we're taking a trip back to the golden age of television game shows, before heading into the tactical revolution that has changed football from the Champions League to the lowest reaches of the non-league pyramid.Two very different approaches to sport. One involving meticulous tactical planning. The other involving Jimmy Tarbuck and a set of rules nobody appears to understand.Documentary of the Week (Sort Of)Steff: Full SwingIn place of the usual documentary, Steff has unearthed an absolute gem from the golden age of British television: Jimmy Tarbuck's Full Swing.It's a glorious car crash of a golf-based, general knowledge-adjacent game show, featuring celebrity contestants, questionable production decisions and a format whose rules the audience are apparently expected to work out for themselves as the programme unfolds.If the idea of Jimmy Tarbuck presiding over a golf quiz that appears to have been designed during a particularly long lunch doesn't make you want to watch it immediately, we're not sure this is the podcast for you.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6svRbCgDm8w&t=45sBook of the WeekElis: The Spectre of Pep — How Guardiola Haunts Modern Football by Jon MackenzieElis brings in Jon Mackenzie's fascinating examination of Pep Guardiola's influence on modern football.From his tactical philosophy and obsession with controlling space to the way teams across Europe's biggest leagues have adopted versions of his approach, the book explores how one manager's ideas have fundamentally changed the way the game is played.And it's not just the elite. From Manchester City to the lower reaches of non-league football, everybody now seems determined to play out from the back, regardless of whether the centre-half is entirely comfortable with the idea.Has Guardiola made football better? Or has he simply made everyone believe there's only one correct way to play it?Plenty for Elis, Mike and Steff to get stuck into.https://link.amazon/B0aGXHEoUJimmy Tarbuck and Pep Guardiola. Two men who have approached the organisation of sport in very different ways.Thanks for listening.And if you want more from The Socially Distant Sports Bar, including exclusive episodes and extra content, join us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/distantpod