Share

cover art for Control is Overrated: Embracing Non-Attachment in Life and Business with Clayton Olson

The Shift To Freedom

Control is Overrated: Embracing Non-Attachment in Life and Business with Clayton Olson

Ep. 53

The Buddha said that attachment is the root of all suffering. When you get too wrapped up in #perfectionism and #peoplepleasing due to your attachment to a certain outcome or a desire to maintain a certain identity, you are setting yourself up for potential suffering. You cannot control every outcome. And by being so caught up thinking about the future, you may miss out on all the good things around you in the present. Today, co-hosts Ben Easter and Clayton Olson discuss #detachment and how to overcome your #fearoffailure to let go of the fantasy of control.


The truth is that you cannot know the future in advance, so there is no use being so attached to certain outcomes. Ben explains that if you think about life like a game, the whole purpose of a game is not necessarily to win but to learn how to win. The enjoyment comes from overcoming challenges and it would not be as fun if those challenges did not exist. Life is much the same way in that you will likely not feel as successful without having to first overcome challenges. Clayton shares that one of the main problems with getting hung up on certain outcomes is that it can cause tunnel vision and you may miss out on other opportunities as well as set yourself up for sadness when the outcome differs from your expectations.


By embracing non-attachment, you open yourself up to feeling more gratitude in the present. Even situations that do not go the way you had hoped can still end up working in ways that lead you to your goal. You may not be able to control every outcome for your future, but you can control how you react and how you choose to feel about the outcome you do reach. 


Quotes

  • “The Buddha says all life is suffering because of that attachment, because we're attached to either the things that we want or the things that we don't want.” (6:34-6:43 | Ben)
  • “There's something really beautiful about having a challenge that is in your way to try to accomplish some goal. And I think thinking about life this way is really, really useful.” (10:11-10:21 | Ben)
  • “Where did you learn this distortion that you need to do all these things in order to experience peace?” (21:57-22:02 | Clayton)
  • “Begin to question the fantasy that you've created.” (34:42-34:45 | Clayton)


Links

Connect with Clayton:

Website: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtKW9swe4-j596iCIh2_nrA 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/claytonrolson/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/claytonolsoncoaching/


Connect with Ben:

Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/

Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/

Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2k


Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm


More episodes

View all episodes

  • 72. Pricing Perfection: What’s the Value of Your Service or Product with Paige Easter

    35:19
    In this conversation we take a look at a crucial aspect of running a successful business: understanding the value of an offering. Hosts Paige and Ben Easter explore the costs, pricing strategies, customer value, and transformational potential behind products and services. If you've ever found yourself struggling to set the right price or communicate the true value of your business to customers, this episode shares insights and strategies that will help you navigate the complex world of pricing and value in the entrepreneurial landscape. Join Paige and Ben as they uncover the secrets to unlocking the true value of your offerings.[0:52] Introduction to the importance of understanding costs in running a business.[3:15] Exploring the costs associated with products and services.[6:10] The concept of pricing, markups, and finding the right balance.[10:02] Solving problems and making investments in business.[13:45] Setting the right price and being competitive in the market.[17:30] The value of understanding customer goals.[20:15] Quantifying value in dollars and cents and the emotional aspects of the relationship.In this episode, Paige and Ben demystify how to determine the value of your offerings by analyzing costs, pricing, customer desires, and transformational potential. They provide valuable insights and practical strategies that will help entrepreneurs set the right price, communicate value effectively, and create a win-win situation for themselves and their customers. So give it a listen and unleash the true value of your business!Links:Business Owner Hero Type Quiz: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/quiz/The Mindset Gym: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/the-mindset-gymCustomer Avatar ChatGPT Exercise: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/optimize-your-customer-insights-with-chatgpt/ Connect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2k
  • 71. The 9 Hidden Truths of Business and Love: Part 2 with Clayton Olson

    28:26
    Tired of feeling burned out and lacking inspiration in your work? Discover the secret to unlocking your true creative potential and achieving greater success by embracing self-care and reflection. In this episode of The Shift to Freedom, Ben Easter and Clayton Olson delve into the transformative power of taking a step back, finding new models for success, and harnessing the magic of relationships for personal and professional growth.In the second part of their conversation, Ben and Clayton explore the relationship between rest, creativity, and productivity. They share personal anecdotes, insightful stories, and perspectives to help you shift your mindset and tap into your unlimited potential. From challenging conventional ideas about relationships to investigating self-talk, this episode provides a roadmap for harnessing your inner power and finding fulfillment in both work and personal life.Key Moments:[10:42] The importance of operating in a creative and executive mindset to make strategic decisions[15:16] Breaking free from stagnation and finding new models for success[22:05] Transformations in relationships and rediscovering a better version of yourself[30:09] Embracing happiness as a choice and finding joy in the journey[36:42] Investigating your thoughts and beliefs in business and relationships[44:20] Showing up as a high-value individual to influence how others treat you[50:55] The impact of self-talk on attracting high-quality relationships and connectionsSo, if you're ready to unlock your true creative potential and find fulfillment in your work and relationships, tune in to Ep 71 - part 2 with Ben and Clayton on The Shift to Freedom podcast. Get ready to shift your perspective and embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth.Links:Business Owner Hero Type Quiz: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/quiz/The Mindset Gym: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/the-mindset-gymEp 29: Getting out of the Drama Triangle with Clayton Olson (Apple l Spotify)Connect with Clayton :Website: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtKW9swe4-j596iCIh2_nrALinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/claytonrolson/IG: https://www.instagram.com/claytonolsoncoaching/Connect with Ben:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2k
  • 70. The 9 Hidden Truths of Business and Love: Part 1 with Clayton Olson

    28:26
    Struggling to find balance between your business and personal life? Wondering how to navigate the treacherous waters of love and entrepreneurship? Tune in to learn the 9 hidden truths that can transform your approach to business and love, and unlock the freedom you've been seeking.In this episode of "The Shift to Freedom," hosts Ben Easter and Clayton Olson dive into the 9-hidden truths of business and love. With a focus on personal development, authenticity, and taking risks, Clayton Olson shares his wisdom on navigating the complex worlds of entrepreneurship and relationships. From prioritizing personal well-being and embracing failure to finding your voice and letting go of control, our hosts offer insights that may shift your perspective and help you thrive in both business and love. Don't miss out on this conversation that may inspire you to shift your perspective and step into your true potential.Key Moments:[Timestamp 04:12] Why prioritizing personal well-being is crucial before problem-solving[Timestamp 08:56] The importance of embracing failure and recognizing its transformative power[Timestamp 14:40] How to enjoy the journey and process of becoming better[Timestamp 20:26] Exploring the infinite game of business and love[Timestamp 25:18] Finding your voice and clarifying what you want[Timestamp 31:05] The power of taking action in the right direction[Timestamp 37:42] Letting go of control and embracing authenticity in business and loveLinks:Business Owner Hero Type Quiz: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/quiz/The Mindset Gym: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/the-mindset-gymConnect with Clayton :Website: https://claytonolsoncoaching.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtKW9swe4-j596iCIh2_nrALinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/claytonrolson/IG: https://www.instagram.com/claytonolsoncoaching/Connect with Ben:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2k
  • 69. How to Stop White Knuckling It Through Life with Paige Easter

    31:07
    "You will only ever do anything in your whole life, ever, if you want to do it." says Ben Easter.Ever been caught in the trap of feeling unmotivated, pushing through tasks with sheer willpower? Ben and Paige Easter understand the struggle.  In this episode, they challenge some of our beliefs about motivation and the art of getting things done. They explore motivation that stems from our genuine desires and interests. They question the heavy "should", "have to", and "need to" phrasing that often burdens our tasks, nudging listeners toward a more genuine approach: focusing on what genuinely excites us.They encourage a routine self-check-in, emphasizing the need to prioritize well-being and align with our core desires. By doing so, they suggest, we can sculpt a life more attuned to our values, one that is inherently more fulfilling.Key Takeaways:Motivation is not something that can be forced or summoned through willpower. It is important to connect with our intrinsic motivations and desires.The language of "should, have to, need to" is not useful and often creates resistance. Instead, focus on what you want and connect with your desires.Prioritization is key when feeling overwhelmed with tasks. Identify your big rocks and align your actions with your values and goals.Check in with the four physicals: sleep, nutrition, movement, and energetic cycles. Taking care of your physical well-being is essential for motivation and productivity.Practice connecting your desires with your actions. Ask yourself if there are alternative ways to fulfill your desires that align better with your preferences and values.Quotes:"The thing that I hear so frequently is like having trouble finding motivation." (1:41 | Ben)"I think motivation is a myth because we're all motivated to do things intrinsically." (2:31 | Ben) "I think the error in thinking here is that it comes down to willpower…willpower is not as useful as people tend to think." (03:09 | Paige)"People think the solution to this is better time management…if only I could figure out how to pack more into the day." (05:27 | Ben)"You will only ever do anything in your whole life ever if you want to do it." (15:40 | Ben)"Quit pretending that there's something else other than what you want." (19:54 | Ben)"Connect with your desire…focus your energy on that and continue to connect with it." (22:56 | Ben)"Can I think of any other way that I can get that experience without doing this thing that I don't want to do?" (23:19 | Ben)"Check in with your motivation, your intrinsic motivation…think about what is driving you as a person." (28:12 | Ben)Connect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/The Mindset Gym: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/the-mindset-gymProject Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
  • 68. The Art of Connection: Navigating Social Anxiety, Building Networks, and Embracing Rejection with Paige Easter

    35:27
    "Networking is not just about connecting with others, it's about finding a values-aligned community where you can thrive and grow together." says Ben Easter.In today's Shift to Freedom podcast episode, Ben and Paige Easter delve into the important topic of building community through networking. They tackle the pervasive sense of isolation that many entrepreneurs experience, especially common with founders and solopreneurs who suffer from the absence of a peer group in their businesses. The duo navigates the complexities of forging connections in our modern, ever-changing society while spotlighting the growing opportunities offered through online relationships. They also explore how to conquer hurdles like social anxiety and the fear of being turned down, emphasizing the importance of aligning with individuals who resonate with your fundamental beliefs. Ben and Paige share their own networking journeys and offer actionable advice, including leveraging meetups and tapping into networks that align with your passions. This episode will encourage you to take steps forward to build a broader base of support for your entrepreneurial journey.Key Takeaways:Building a network is important for overcoming the loneliness of owning a business and having peers to connect with.In today's world, networking can extend beyond geographical boundaries thanks to the internet, allowing for connections with people who share your values.Overcoming social anxiety is crucial for building a network, and it requires courage and a shift in mindset.Networking can be approached as simply connecting with humans and getting to know them, rather than focusing solely on sales or client acquisition.An ideal network is one that is values-aligned, where you can find support, collaboration, and mentorship from like-minded individuals.Quotes:"I think having a conversation about making it easier and more inevitable to build a network and a supportive group of peers and mentors and colleagues that you can talk to to help you feel more connected in the world is really useful." (01:37 | Ben)"All things being equal, people choose to do business with their friends. And then all things being unequal, people still choose to do business with their friends." (14:43 | Ben)"Finding places where people are congregating around some activity that you really enjoy is a great way to get yourself kicked off finding people in values alignment." (28:41 | Ben) Links:Connect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
  • 67. Taking Action: Transforming Tolerations into Accomplishments with Paige Easter

    27:18
    "Every toleration we hold onto is like a program running in the background, draining our energy and holding us back from living our freedom. It's time to reboot, clear the list, and become the version of ourselves that takes care of what's important. Zap those tolerations and watch as your mental space and self-image transform." - Ben EasterAre you tired of feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the little things in life? Do you want to break free from the energy-draining monster known as tolerations? In this week’s episode, Ben and Paige Easter dive into the important topic of tolerations. They discuss how tolerations can drain our energy and hold us back from living our best lives. Drawing from an analogy of computer system maintenance, they emphasize the importance of identifying and addressing these tolerations to free up mental space and boost productivity. The hosts share practical strategies, such as creating a list of tolerations and prioritizing them based on values alignment and impact. They also highlight the transformative power of taking action on these tolerations, not only in terms of clearing our physical and mental space but also in shaping our self-image and identity.Key Takeaways:Tolerations are the things in our reality that we are unsatisfied with or that require our attention.Tolerations can lead to feelings of overwhelm, burnout, and confusion, as well as negatively impact our self-esteem.Writing down our tolerations and creating a list helps us identify and prioritize them.Taking action to address tolerations not only frees up mental space but also reinforces our identity as someone who takes care of things.Quotes:"There's just this aspect of reality where you just like you decide that you're going to take care of the things that are important to you to take care of in your reality. And there's something so both kind of nervous and intimidating about that decision, and also at the same time, so liberating once you've made the decision, you're just like, yeah, you know what? I take care of the things that are in my reality that I'm going to take care of." (5:40 | Paige Easter)"Sometimes just getting them out of your head, you can be like, oh, that's actually not that hard to do. I can just handle that. And you might feel inspired just writing the list down. You might notice that you get a little inspiration to go take care of some things because they're now present in your mind and aware. And as you write the list, you start to imagine yourself doing it." (25:03 | Paige Easter) "Every once in a while, go grab something off that list. If you do one a week and pull one of your tolerations off a week, you'll feel amazing." (21:12 | Ben Easter) Links:Connect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
  • 66. Listen to Your Heart: Lessons from Pocahontas with Paige Easter

    27:04
    "Love and fear are the driving forces in life. When we lean towards love, listen to our hearts, and take courageous leaps, we contribute to a better reality for everyone. It's about embracing courage and understanding, rather than succumbing to fear," says Paige Easter, Co-host of the Shift to Freedom podcast.This week, Ben and Paige are digging into their impressions of the beloved Disney classic, Pocahontas! While Ben experiences the movie for the first time, Paige fondly recalls it as a cherished part of her childhood. The hosts explore the film's themes of love and fear, and the thought-provoking interplay of toxic masculinity versus healthy masculinity portrayed through the movie’s supporting characters. While Pocahontas may not boast metaphors like other Disney classics, the hosts celebrate the lessons and insights that Pocahontas imparts about having the courage to follow your heart in the face of adversity, taking the time to truly listen to those you disagree with in order to resolve differences, and generally following your heart’s call.Key Takeaways:Love and understanding possess the power to conquer fear and turmoilAttentive listening bridges gaps and nurtures connectionsChoosing the path less traveled, coupled with an adventurous spirit, can lead to genuine personal fulfillmentQuotes"I think it is a risky path to ride the river that is less known and that is choppier, and that is less smooth. But ultimately, the willingness to embrace courage, and listen and understand things in your world will serve you in the long run and will amount to much more safety than just following the traditional path where you actually still don't know what is around the bend." (25:42 | Ben Easter)"For me, it was all about love and fear and that when you are leaning towards and allowing yourself to want things and listen to your heart that you take courageous leaps in it contributes to a better reality for everybody who's in it - versus being afraid and fearful and ending up (where) people get hurt." (25:37 | Paige Easter)LinksConnect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
  • 65. Becoming Your Own Bank: Creating Financial Freedom with John Ensley

    32:08
    Unlocking financial freedom remains a tantalizing dream for many, but the journey to true independence is fraught with hurdles. In a riveting discussion, Ben Easter and John Ensley peel back the layers of a little-known financial strategy: cash value life insurance. Diving into the mechanics behind these policies, they unveil how cash value accumulates over time and the myriad advantages they hold. From exploiting tax benefits to harnessing policy loans for diverse purposes, the conversation unveils the potential for tax-free retirement income. With an expert's touch, they underscore the significance of tailored policies aligned with unique financial ambitions. Prepare to be enlightened as John divulges the inner workings of this extraordinary financial system, offering invaluable insights and long-term benefits for individuals and enterprising business owners alike.Tips on becoming your own bank:Unravel the enigmatic realm of Cash Value Life Insurance, a unique pact between individuals and insurance companies that holds the keys to both a life-changing death benefit and a mysterious cash value component. Discover the myriad of tax advantages concealed within Cash Value Life Insurance, where tax-deferred growth, tax-free policy loans, and a mesmerizing tax-free death benefit can grant you financial power.Take advantage of Policy Loans, the secret weapon of those who wield Cash Value Life Insurance. Ascend to the realm of self-banking, accessing funds to fuel your dreams, from ambitious investments to grand business endeavors, all while basking in the allure of remarkably lower interest rates and unyielding growth.Quotes"It's similar to any other savings vehicle, where you're investing money regularly, but without all the restrictions of traditional retirement accounts. The cash value grows over time and can be accessed through policy loans for various purposes." (John | 04:36)"The underlying contract continues to grow, as if you didn't borrow the money, while you can access financing, and you have the potential for tax advantages on both sides of the transaction." (John | 12:35)"Life insurance is one of the most underutilized sections of the tax code. It offers tax-deferred growth, tax-free policy loans, and a tax-free death benefit to beneficiaries." (John | 13:13)LinksConnect with John Ensley:https://jumponwithjohn.com/Connect with Ben:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
  • 64. Core Values: The Compass for a Purposeful Journey with Paige Easter

    31:19
    Are you living within alignment with your core values? In today’s episode, co-hosts Ben and Paige Easter are back to guide you on a purposeful journey toward freedom using core values as a compass. Whether you are brand new to the idea of core values or already have a list that you live by, reflecting on what matters most to you is a useful tool for growing and creating meaning within your life. If life’s purpose is the experience of your values, then you owe it to yourself to get really clear about what those values are and how you wish to see them expressed in your life. When you take the time to put words to these abstract concepts, it becomes easier to remember your values in the moment and make aligned decisions.Tips for creating your compass:Core values are intrinsic, abstract and universal.We feel joy and purpose when we are living in alignment with our core values.Values are shorthand. They are represented by words that will spark your memory of whole concepts and do not have to even make sense to other people. Write a list of your core values, whittling it down over time to the ones that are the most important to you.Use your emotions to guide you on what your values are. Try describing your favorite person in the world and see what values you attribute to them.Return to your values list again and again, because values will shift as you grow and change.Use your newly written core values list as a guide to help you along your journey to freedom. If you are engaging in activities that do not reflect your values or hanging out with people who are out of alignment with the world you are trying to build, then it may be time to begin embracing change. Put boundaries in place to protect your values and start living your life to the fullest!Quotes“Joy is the experience of our core values.” (3:56 | Ben) “When we're creating a list of core values, what we're doing is we're making a shorthand for what is our operating system so that we can more quickly run through our checklist instead of trying to hold all things equally important and then find ourselves in analysis paralysis and not able to create meaning.” (4:25 | Paige)“I believe that your life's purpose is the experience of your values.” (5:00 | Ben)“I think of our emotions as our engine lights. These are what come up to tell us, hey, something wants to be paid attention to… somewhere between three and 10 would probably be a good place to start.” (10:02 | Paige) “Envy is a really good emotion to show us what we actually want in the world.” (14:10 | Paige)“We're so close to our values that we might not even notice what is important to us, because it's so core to who we are.” (18:56 | Ben)“Every time there's a fight between two people, there's a core values misalignment.” (25:00 | Ben)LinksConnect with Ben and Paige:Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/Project Candlelight: https://airtable.com/shr5p0P2793RtRk2kPodcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm