The Secret diary of a Science Teacher

Period 6 and 7 are difficult enough but made even more difficult when the room you are teaching in smells of…poo.Tony’s room smells of poo and his bottom set Year 10 class think the same.The smell of poo is tracked down to the front bench....

Sam is doing reproduction with Year 7....Year 7 seem to be particularly naïve and are bursting with questions. 

Ever wondered why some kids often seem to be rude??I’m rude because:“It gives me power”“That’s how I’m spoken to”“I know what winds you up”“I’m tired and thirsty”“I want to remind you that I’m a bad kid”“I want to get a response that I’m used to”“I want to reject you before you reject me”“That’s the label I’ve been given so I might as well live up to it”“I’m scared”

There is panic amongst the Sixth Form Team and an urgent recall of this year’s leavers book.Flicking through it I have not noticed anything untoward.It just seems like the usual selection of the happy smiley photogenic people and the awkward who didn’t want their photo taking in the first place.Something must be lurking in the pages within.Head of year Mark is in the staffroom and shows me the offending picture of one of the Form groups...The phone rings, its the Heads P.A. looking for him and the colour drains from his cheeks.

Stop thief!The theft of a banana means tempers fray down in the refectory....canteen.Deny...deny...deny...!Can the unreliable school CCTV help us get to the truth or will the school boy mantra something we have to confront time after time after time win the day?

Dylan is stood at the bottom of the stairwell. For reasons I am guessing are about to become clear he is stood bolt upright to attention outside my office, saluting. “Morning Dylan.”“Sir!”, he yells in my ear as I pass by.“Permission to go to my Form sir”, "Permission granted Dylan."...

The creativity of the kids never ceases to amaze me.Fantastic works of art, music, journalism, looking at some of the work through the year would suggest that as far as the future is concerned we are in really good shape!While not award winning the latest creative masterpiece showcased at the semi final of the National Cup for Rugby has caused a stir at least with the opposing fans of the private school that narrowly beat us:“You live in your school”“You live in your school”“Your parents don’t love you!"“You live in your school”State vs Private - There is always going to be a bit of needle. The 'Haves' vs The 'Have nots'

"You take the money, you do the job"...or "You take the money and someone else ends up doing it for you!"...but it's a tough old game teaching!

Our old Labrador used to occasionally bring some other poor creature it had caught to the back door and drop it at my feet. An unwanted gift but one that in his mind I should be ever so grateful for.PE teacher Brian is approaching like a rampaging puppeteer with Ali a year 10 student half lifted off the ground, seemingly not fully in control of his limbs. He drops him at my feet.Thank you Brian.