The Rules

Stand-up and writer Chloe Petts helps Simon counter chaos on the streets, the injustice of vending machines and the total mess that is the world wide web.

Comedy legend Matt Lucas joins Simon to sort out the problems of improvised toothpicks, impersonal e-cards and improper exaltation of Nutella.

Writer, stand-up and producer of Russell Howard's Five Brilliant Things, Dan Atkinson urges Simon to stop people dancing like nobody's watching by drastically reducing the size of human settlements.

Stand-up and social media comedian Sam Picone helps Simon come up with rules to make internet users and binmen behave themselves.

Multi-award-winning comedian, writer and actor Lorna Rose Treen invites Simon to consider rules to end the tyranny of tickling and kick-start the next stage of human evolution.

Writer and stand-up Steve Hall presents Simon with rules to stop people making spam phone calls, sending intrusive emails and projecting irritating noises.

Stand-up, writer and actor Aideen McQueen joins Simon to dole out slap-based retribution and ensure that we can all listen in to other people's public phone calls.

Stand-up and writer Nick Elleray employs Simon to give everyone plenty of personal space and a nice quiet life.