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The Paranoid Strain

New! Qanon: How we got here - Part 1 - Introductions

Season 5, Ep. 1

We're back, bay-bee! For the next umpty-bajillion episodes, we're going to take a new angle to look at Qanon. Why, when we've already done Qanon several times? Because we believe the Qanon conspiracy is...in a sense "eating" other conspiracy theories. Because we think it's metastasizing into the one uber-conspiracy theory that rules our current moment in time. But more than that, we want to know how it got here, by tracing the historical and cultural threads that fed into the Q morass. And most of all, we want to see what real problems Qanon conspiracies are obscuring. It's gonna be a helluva ride. Buckle up.

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  • New! Unidentified--Wait, is Cthulhu just an Ancient Alien?

    32:25
    On our way out of the ancient aliens door, we explore a few miscellaneous but still really interesting sub-topics, including out-of-place artifacts, the Ancient Aliens TV show and its discontents, and finally a book that suggests, convincingly, that HP Lovecraft's cosmic horrors were a major inspiration for Erich von Daniken's bullshit, and everything that came later. Next time, swear to god, we'll cover a topic that actually isn't ancient aliens. Weird, right?
  • 10. New! Unidentified--Graham Hancock, Ancient Aliens, and the Chad Rogaine Experience

    37:21
    We discuss the woe-is-me posturing of non-scientist Graham Hancock, and his ludicrous theories about an advanced civilization wiped out by the last ice age, which spread its knowledge far and wide, and thus is responsible for all of the ancient structures we normally credit to people like the Egyptians, the Mayans, etcetera. I should mention we had a strange interference pattern occur during the recording process, but I'm sure nothing untoward, or very Stupid, happened. See you in a couple of weeks.
  • 9. New! Unidentified, Episode 9: Nibiru needs gold--and sperm, for some reason

    37:25
    This is the end of the Zecharia Sitchin part of this very weird series. But there's still more Ancient Astronauts to come. This time, we learn more about the Annunaki, and how apparently they need human gametes. These Nibiru aliens are straight-up freaks, yo.
  • 8. New! Unidentified, Episode 7: Fear of a 12th planet--Nibiru and the Ancient Astronauts

    37:55
    We're continuing our tour through the life's work of Zecharia Sitchin, this time exploring in-depth his very strange rendition of the ancient Babylonian Creation myth. According to Zechy, an unknown 12th (Why 12th? It's weird) planet did a bunch of shit to our inner solar system, including creating the Earth and Moon, before retreating back on its 3600 year orbit. And the ancient Mesopotamians learned all about it from their alien, Annunaki overlords. It's a hoot!
  • 7. New! Unidentified, Episode 7: Zecharia Sitchin's made-up Ancient Aliens history

    36:08
    We finally introduce arguably the second-most-important ancient aliens conspiracy theorist, shipping executive, amateur researcher, and adorable little old man Zecharia Sitchin. He's just as wrong and bull-headed as von Daniken, but we find him both more imaginative and more pleasant than his Swiss rival. Plus, we have an expert, Dr. David Miano, who's ready to shed some much-needed knowledge over Sitchin's nonsense cavalcade. Enjoy!
  • 6. New! Unidentified, Episode 6: It was the Ancient Alien, with the Crystal Skull, in the Metal Library

    37:02
    Somehow, we're still talking about Ancient Aliens, This time, we're continuing with our examination of Philip Coppens' work in this area. We consider his best arguments for the idea, find them wanting, and then tear apart the crystal skull and metal library nonsense. Come on along. It's a good time. See you in two weeks.
  • 5. New! Unidentified, Episode 5: Do the Ancient Aliens enthusiasts have a point?

    28:41
    Don't let our title fool you. We haven't gone soft on the horsefeathers that is Ancient Aliens theory. But in this episode, we do find the best, most rigorous book on the topic written by an enthusiast, try to give him the benefit of the doubt, and then realize that his worldview is still fatally flawed. Plus, we talk strawmen versus steelmen arguments. Fun is had by all!
  • 4. New! Unidentified, Episode 4: O-negative blood type? You're probably an Ancient Alien

    36:32
    Episode 4 is all up in that Basque. Ok, so that joke deson't work. But the episode does! Learn why von Daniken acolyte Nick Redfern is pretty sure the Basque people of Northern Spain and Southern France are totes aliens, you guys. Oh, and if you have a "negative" instead of a "positive" blood type--guess what? You're an ET, too. Come explore this very dumb idea with us.
  • 3. New! Unidentified, Episode 3: Jesus Christ, Ancient Astronaut

    32:30
    We're still digging down into the Erich von Daniken rabbit hole, touching on some other authors who have followed EvD's lead in speculating about the extrarrestrial origins of the stories underpinning Judaism and Christianity. In other words, you're about to learn why Jesus isn't just your co-pilot--he's in charge of the whole goddanged UFO. Also, we'll learn why a trained Christian minister has spent the past fifty years or so explaining how a hidden UFO performed all of the miracles of the Exodus. Including the big special effects moment with the sea parting, the Jews passing, and the Egyptians drowning. It's a hoot. See you in a couple of weeks.