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The Paranoid Strain

Complete Qanon: How We Got Here--Part 1

They're finally here! The big, huge files that taken together make up the full Qanon series. There are seven in total, Collect them all!


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  • 10. New! Unidentified--Graham Hancock, Ancient Aliens, and the Chad Rogaine Experience

    37:21
    We discuss the woe-is-me posturing of non-scientist Graham Hancock, and his ludicrous theories about an advanced civilization wiped out by the last ice age, which spread its knowledge far and wide, and thus is responsible for all of the ancient structures we normally credit to people like the Egyptians, the Mayans, etcetera. I should mention we had a strange interference pattern occur during the recording process, but I'm sure nothing untoward, or very Stupid, happened. See you in a couple of weeks.
  • 9. New! Unidentified, Episode 9: Nibiru needs gold--and sperm, for some reason

    37:25
    This is the end of the Zecharia Sitchin part of this very weird series. But there's still more Ancient Astronauts to come. This time, we learn more about the Annunaki, and how apparently they need human gametes. These Nibiru aliens are straight-up freaks, yo.
  • 8. New! Unidentified, Episode 7: Fear of a 12th planet--Nibiru and the Ancient Astronauts

    37:55
    We're continuing our tour through the life's work of Zecharia Sitchin, this time exploring in-depth his very strange rendition of the ancient Babylonian Creation myth. According to Zechy, an unknown 12th (Why 12th? It's weird) planet did a bunch of shit to our inner solar system, including creating the Earth and Moon, before retreating back on its 3600 year orbit. And the ancient Mesopotamians learned all about it from their alien, Annunaki overlords. It's a hoot!
  • 7. New! Unidentified, Episode 7: Zecharia Sitchin's made-up Ancient Aliens history

    36:08
    We finally introduce arguably the second-most-important ancient aliens conspiracy theorist, shipping executive, amateur researcher, and adorable little old man Zecharia Sitchin. He's just as wrong and bull-headed as von Daniken, but we find him both more imaginative and more pleasant than his Swiss rival. Plus, we have an expert, Dr. David Miano, who's ready to shed some much-needed knowledge over Sitchin's nonsense cavalcade. Enjoy!
  • 6. New! Unidentified, Episode 6: It was the Ancient Alien, with the Crystal Skull, in the Metal Library

    37:02
    Somehow, we're still talking about Ancient Aliens, This time, we're continuing with our examination of Philip Coppens' work in this area. We consider his best arguments for the idea, find them wanting, and then tear apart the crystal skull and metal library nonsense. Come on along. It's a good time. See you in two weeks.
  • 5. New! Unidentified, Episode 5: Do the Ancient Aliens enthusiasts have a point?

    28:41
    Don't let our title fool you. We haven't gone soft on the horsefeathers that is Ancient Aliens theory. But in this episode, we do find the best, most rigorous book on the topic written by an enthusiast, try to give him the benefit of the doubt, and then realize that his worldview is still fatally flawed. Plus, we talk strawmen versus steelmen arguments. Fun is had by all!
  • 4. New! Unidentified, Episode 4: O-negative blood type? You're probably an Ancient Alien

    36:32
    Episode 4 is all up in that Basque. Ok, so that joke deson't work. But the episode does! Learn why von Daniken acolyte Nick Redfern is pretty sure the Basque people of Northern Spain and Southern France are totes aliens, you guys. Oh, and if you have a "negative" instead of a "positive" blood type--guess what? You're an ET, too. Come explore this very dumb idea with us.
  • 3. New! Unidentified, Episode 3: Jesus Christ, Ancient Astronaut

    32:30
    We're still digging down into the Erich von Daniken rabbit hole, touching on some other authors who have followed EvD's lead in speculating about the extrarrestrial origins of the stories underpinning Judaism and Christianity. In other words, you're about to learn why Jesus isn't just your co-pilot--he's in charge of the whole goddanged UFO. Also, we'll learn why a trained Christian minister has spent the past fifty years or so explaining how a hidden UFO performed all of the miracles of the Exodus. Including the big special effects moment with the sea parting, the Jews passing, and the Egyptians drowning. It's a hoot. See you in a couple of weeks.
  • 2. New! Unidentified, Episode 2: Ancient Aliens, Chariots of the Gods, and the Swiss Felon

    32:52
    Introductions done, we dive into our first subject in this grand UFO series--that is, Ancient Aliens and the man most responsible for bringing them to us, Erich Von Daniken. In addition to being a hilariously self-regarding fabulist, EVD is also just a very weird dude with quite a checkered legal past. We get into all of that, as well von Daniken's extremely weird inter-stellar sex orgy theory of space exploration. It's nice to be back.