Share
The Moon Under Water
Helen Zaltzman - The Definite Article (Part 2)
Season 1, Ep. 107
•
*This is part 2 of Helen Zaltzman's episode. Though you are free to listen in whichever order you so desire we really do recommend listening to part 1 first or things might be slightly confusing*
"Podcast". Now that's a word we've never heard in the Correct Realm. We're told it's some sort of audible murmuration in which people are able to share their thoughts and feelings directly into your ears. It sounds mad, and to be honest it doesn’t sound true. However, we’re led to believe that this week’s guest is a pioneer in the world of podcasting, so we’ll suspend our belief as she walks through our doors. It’s broadcaster, writer and podcaster Helen Zaltzman.
Helen was one of the very early adopters of podcasting, and will be looked back on as one of the key players in its infancy. She still podcasts, and her wonderful series ‘The Allusionist’ is well worth a listen if you’re a fan of all things language. You may also notice that she’s the second Zaltzman to enter The Moon Under Water, but we’re almost certain that Helen’s pub will be less bizarre than Andy’s.
Want to hear an extended version of this episode (featuring a Patreon-only choice), gain access to our bonus podcast ‘Behind The Cellar Door’ and support the upkeep of the pub? If so, head to moonunderpod.com and sign up to our Patreon!
More episodes
View all episodes
The Pub Notice Board - 'Closing Time'
46:23|It's closing time here at The Moon Under Water, but just before we lock those double doors there's time for one last look at the Pub Notice Board. And this isn't just any regular Notice Board, for the boys have gathered in one of their favourite haunts, The Shortlands Tavern, to sup pints, read out your correspondence, and reminisce to their heart's content. For the final time Robbie and Dan review their recent pubbing, and both lay a metaphorical wreath on the head of their favourite pub of the year. They also take a look back at some of the great guests that have stepped inside The Moon Under Water, they salute our loyal local correspondents, and we get a breakdown of the drinks chosen across the show. This may be goodbye from everyone at The Moon Under Water, but remember that the whole back catalogue lives on in the mystical (and physical) realm, meaning you can dip back in whenever you so desire. Thank you for joining us in The Moon Under Water over the years, your patronage has always been much appreciated in these parts. Now finish your pint and get out so we can close up, these tables aren't going to clean themselves.
Robbie Knox and Dan Trelfer - Robbie robbie and The Louis Armstrong
01:11:18|The landlord and the regular; a bond stronger than any known substance, a kinship deeper than any cave, a link that can never be broken. And today it's time for the landlord and the regular to enter the spotlight, for after helping countless guests design their dream pubs, Robbie and Dan are finally in the hot seats.As The Moon Under Water closes its doors, the dream makers become the dream wishers. Robbie and Dan may have hinted at their preferences (and Robbie may have already designed his dream pub in a previous life...), but today we finally find out what would make it into their pubs. And who could be better placed to concoct the dream watering hole than 2 men who have helped design pub after pub, week in week out, with an array of brilliant guests?This is the final pub design of the podcast, but Robbie and Dan will be back for a special goodbye Pub Notice Board on Thursday.In the meantime, keep sending your correspondence to robbie@moonunderpod.com.
The Pub Notice Board - 'How to Cook a Tugboat Bell'
21:33|It's the second-to-last week of The Moon Under Water, and we're putting the ultimate in penultimate with this week's Pub Notice Board.You can expect all the usuals: a round up of this week's pubbing, top notch emails, correspondent applications, and a query about how to cook tugboat bells. But there's also important Guinness news, a glance into Dan's future post-Moon Under Water, and a correspondent application with a twist...Keep your eyes and ears peeled for a special episode next week, where the tables are turned, and landlord and regular, Robbie and Dan will be designing their very own dream watering holes. Then we're off to the actual pub in next week's final Notice Board.Keep sending in your correspondence for one last week to robbie@moonunderpod.com, and we'll keep reading it.Alex Horne - The Soft Glove
01:00:45|The details of the task are as follows: Construct your dream pub. The only limitations are your mind and the format of the show. You have approximately one hour. Your time starts on the theme tune.Taskmaster fans assemble! For the greatest of all the assistants, Little Alex Horne, is shuffling into The Moon Under Water to build his dream pub. Regular Dan finally comes up trumps by reeling in his work colleague to hear of his great ideas.A close associate of the old landlord John, it’s a wonder it’s only now that he makes it into the pub!So kick back and absorb a delightful chat which covers niche Scottish liqueurs, lazy susans and cocktail sausage vending machines. As has been mentioned on the Pub Notice Board, The Moon Under Water will be closing it's doors and be coming to an end. The pub will still exist in the other realm but it shall not be coming to you week by week by the means of podcast feeds. So if there's anything you want to get in then get it in sharpish. Get your notes in for the final Pub Notice Board on robbie@moonunderpod.com, plus if you fancy a visual tapas of all our guests from the show then head to @moonunderpod on the socials. Cheers!The Pub Notice Board - 'Last Orders'
26:16|The bell is ringing, the tables are being cleaned, and that can mean only one thing; it's last orders at The Moon Under Water. Landlord Robbie reveals that the pub will be closing in a few weeks time, bringing the podcast to an end.But there's still a lot of fun to be had before closing time, as we look upon the Pub Notice Board once more. An email from Belgian Rob gives Robbie a chance to review his recent trip to Brussels, we visit Coventry's oldest pub, and Robbie and Dan ask the serious questions, including the classic 'what's a stevedore'?The Moon Under Water will be open for 1 more special guest, then the following week Robbie and Dan will be taking the hot seats themselves and designing their own dream pubs.Though we may be closing the doors of this fine watering hole, the Pub Notice Board will be open for a few more weeks, so keep sending in your fantastic correspondence to robbie@moonunderpod.com. We want to hear about your favourite Moon Under Water memories, your Christmas drinking plans, and finally, whether crisps are a thing in your country.
Paul Foot - The Pub and Function Room
01:08:51|Did you get the memo? Because Paul Foot got the memo. “Build your dream fantasy pub of the mind” Robbie said and boy has Foot delivered.The mind is running riot in this comic’s wonderfully inventive boozer. There’s not a lager or a particular glass of red to mention, for we are taking on fantastical journey of Dahl-esque proportions. From poets to bore the clientele to Bloody Mary elements on draft spanning the bar, enjoy this one patrons.Sometimes you just need a bit of chaos and joie de vivre in your local and that’s what you’re getting today.Get some similarly fun thoughts or missives? Well send them in to robbie@moonunderpod.com and catch us on @moonunderpod on your various socials.The Pub Notice Board - 'Trying a £20 Beer'
34:22|You lucky lot, not only do you get one hit of beer expert Jonny Garrett this week, but here's another one! Yes, the brains behind the Craft Beer Channel sits down with the boys for a special edition of the Pub Notice Board, and he's brought some gifts with him this time. After mentioning some mouth watering beers in the building of his dream pub, we thought it was only fair for Jonny to stump up the goods. So he joins Robbie and Dan to sample some rare bird drinks, including a beer that has its roots in the year 1883, and one of Jonny's all-time favourite beers, costing £20 a can. Robbie and Dan also attempt to 'learn the language of beer' and Jonny explains how marketing affects our tastebuds.Keep sending us your correspondence to robbie@moonunderpod.com.
Craft Beer Channel - The Corner's Arms
01:07:37|Expert on the horizon! Every so often the Moon Under Water summons someone who really really knows their stuff, and today is one such occasion, for ambling into the pub today is Jonny Garrett from Craft Beer Channel. Jonny settles in for a delightfully detailed and colourful chat with Landlord Robbie and Regular Dan to *craft* a pub jam packed with lovely beers and warmth. One for the hopologists but also a very rewarding conversation for anyone who might have even had just a sip of the odd Pilsner. It even takes us to the most northerly pub on Earth in a place where polar bears roam the ice sheets. You can catch Jonny on YouTube, his website, and his brand new book The Meaning of Beer is out now!To get in touch with the show robbie@moonunderpod.com is the place to send it, and we're @moonunderpod on your socials.The Pub Notice Board - 'The Worst Pub in Crawley'
35:04|All hail Dan Trelfer! It's a momentous week as Dan finally completes the 52 pub challenge, with plenty of time to spare. How did he do it; a quick solo pre-train pint? A warm beer in the lobby of a bad hotel? All is revealed within. Elsewhere, Robbie visits the world's largest pub in the Netherlands, then stops off in Crawley to visit the worst pub it has to offer. Dan's theory of never having met a bad Alex comes under fire from a listener, and we encounter some strong correspondent work, verging on award-winning investigative journalism. Keep sending us your bits to robbie@moonunderpod.com. We want to hear about your pub challenges, your Christmas drinking rituals, and everything in between.