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The Minimalists Private Podcast (Inactive Feed)
Kill Them with Love
Joshua and Ryan discuss the minimalism rules submitted by their patrons, and they answer the following questions:
What are the questions you ask yourself before buying anything? (00:00)
What is the newest nickname you’re considering for The Minimalists’ audience? (11:38)
I get rid of one thing, every day. If I get rid of five things today, great—but I still have to get rid of one thing tomorrow. (13:23)
How do we deal with people who don't get it and continue to ignore our pleas to stop giving us stuff? (15:31)
What mantra have you found particularly helpful in your life? (19:03)
How do I communicate positively that gifts are not necessary, even if that is someone else’s love language? (20:14)
We lived on a sailboat for years, so minimalistic habits were easy: Buy used whenever possible. Give one to two things away for each thing brought in. Organize a local gifting table. Avoid plastic whenever possible. Use libraries. Don’t give gifts that one can’t eat or drink, unless it is an activity. Break the gift-giving cycle as much as possible and simply give people your time and energy. (25:06)
Generally, I don’t buy things unless I let go of at least one thing. I also don’t buy things based on income, but rather a small percentage of net worth. And I don’t borrow money. (27:21)
I think about whether or not what I buy is going to be used or worn on a daily basis. I don’t own more than one of anything in my kitchen besides plates, cups, and silverware. Less stuff is less chaos in my life. (28:17)
If I’m struggling to decide whether to get rid of an item, if it costs less than $100 to replace, I donate. We keep $100 in savings specifically for replacing this kind of thing. So far we’ve used it once in 10 years of decluttering! And each item we have belongs in a container. If I want to purchase something new, it must fit in its designated “container” (a bookshelf is a great example of this!). So, for example, if I want to buy a new book, I have to make room on the shelf. (29:49)
Wouldn’t it be best to just consider how much energy anything might drain from your life in maintaining it before you bring it into your life? (32:13)
I have learned to tell myself that if I say “yes” to something, I am saying “no” to something else. That puts a lot of pressure on an item to be the “one”. (32:47)
Is it possible that human beings are actually born perfect? (33:18)
I don’t buy on impulse. I plan and consider alternatives, then go buy exactly what I need. I don’t buy an “it will do”. If I don’t find exactly what I need, I leave without it. (37:07)
I don't replace things that are in good working condition to get a new model. (39:55)
After putting anything in my “cart”, I wait an hour before checking out to decide if this is necessary for my life. (46:04)
I see a lot of talk about material items, but I try to apply this to my schedule as well. My anxiety goes through the roof if I over-schedule myself. I control it by taking a minimalist approach to my schedule by making sure I leave room to complete activities on the weekends to make my weeks easier. (47:26)
I always have a donation bag and I’m always putting things in there. When I have two full bags, I donate to someone. (48:58)
When I'm cleaning and come across something I completely forgot about, I throw it out. I don't even give myself a chance to think about it. If I forgot about it, I'm not going to miss it. (50:03)
Everything in my house goes through this thought process: if I died today, there would be someone that would have to deal with all my stuff, and I don’t want to put that burden on anyone. I lost my father in my 20’s, so I think that’s why my thought process goes that way. It’s an unfair burden to leave people all of your stuff after you’re gone. (52:11)
I always ask myself, “If I buy this, where will it live?” It has to have a place to live permanently. (54:44)
All things purchased must have a dual purpose of some kind. (56:42)
LINKS
Bonus: Love People, Use Things
Book: Love People, Use Things
Book: Minimalist Rulebook
Essay: Play the 30-Day Minimalism Game
Essay: Questions to Ask Before Purchasing
Essay: Scared to Death of Death
Instagram: Beaulah
Instagram: Joshua Fields Millburn
Instagram: Jordan Moore
Instagram: Podcast Shawn
Listen: “Good Life”
Podcast: Savage Lovecast
Resources: The Minimalists
Review: Love People, Use Things
Subscribe: The Minimalists
Text: 937-202-4654
Tour: The Minimalists
Watch: I Returned My Gucci Bag
Watch: Kill Them with Love
Watch: Minimalism
MAXIMS
“There are no shortcuts—only direct paths.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Dysfunction is rooted in excess.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“No one has the power to hurt you unless you outsource that power to them.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Just because I’m offended doesn’t mean I’m right.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“Happiness is uncovered through subtraction.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Habit changes don’t work as well as lifestyle changes.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“Once you understand the ‘why,’ the ‘how’ takes care of itself.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
This Maximal episode corresponds with Minimal episode 297.
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489 | Equipment Clutter
02:06:40|Ryan Nicodemus returns to talk about the things that enhance—and the things that get in the way of—enjoying the adventures, experiences, activities, and hobbies that make life more delightful.Discussed in this episode:How can I enjoy my adventures and hobbies without getting overwhelmed by the accessories and equipment that accompany those experiences? (2:32)What activities bring you joy, and what material things are an essential part of those activities? (21:39)Listener tip: Minimize the noise and opinions to uncover a quieter life. (44:20)Should I get rid of equipment, tools, and instruments that get better over time? (46:20)What do The Minimalists think about minimizing social commitments? (52:14)How can I declutter if my job requires me to hold on to a bunch of just-in-case items? (1:11:21)Should I buy new luggage if I need more room to pack my travel essentials? (1:38:18)What do people do to reverse the philosophy, mindset, and practice of minimizing too much? (1:38:17)Amass or Trash: Should I donate my books once I’ve read them? (1:53:14)Added Value: A song that reminds Joshua of Ryan. (1:59:27)LINKSBook: OutliersBook: A Perfumed ScorpionEssay: “How Much is Enough”Event: Sunday SymposiumPodcast: The RenunciationResource: Minimalist RulebookWatch: ColumbusWatch: OnceWatch: Glen Hansard’s GuitarRecorded at Earthing Studios.
488 | Nontransactable Goods
03:10:04|The Minimalists are joined by Dr. Orion Taraban to talk about loyalty, respect, grace, love, friendship, forgiveness, and other nontransactable goods.Discussed in this episode:How do I stop clinging to the good relationship memories from the past if they make me feel miserable now? (2:11)When is loyalty no longer worth it? (23:37)Listener tip: Sensory sensitivity is linked to overstimulation. (56:16)Is honesty a nontransactable good? (59:04)What are Dr. Taraban's insights on sensory processing disorders? (1:00:34)When is emotional abuse grounds to leave a relationship? (1:07:24)Should I let go of my inconsiderate and egocentric friends? (1:24:34)Is it ever okay to keep a secret from my significant other? (1:46:18)Does it make sense to stay in a miserable marriage for the kids? (2:20:45)What are the downsides of leaving your valuable hoard to the next generation to deal with? (2:34:12)Talkaboutable: Loyalty in the movie The Town. (2:54:31)Added Value: An unreleased song about emotional insecurity after a relationship. (3:05:10)Added Value: Ryan StoryBook: Conflict is Not AbuseBook: Emotional ClutterBook: Everything That RemainsBook: The Evolution of DesireBook: Love People, Use ThingsBook: The Untethered SoulBook: The Value of OthersBook: The War of ArtCounseling: Clutter CounselingEvent: Sunday SymposiumGame: Minimalism GamePodcast: Conflict FrequenciesPodcast: Dating ClutterWatch: “Love Like the Sun”Watch: “Staying for the Kids”Watch: “The Town”Watch: “Truth vs. Utility”Website: Dr. Orion TarabanYouTube: Psych HacksRecorded at Earthing Studios.
487 | Frustrations
02:02:16|The Minimalists get brutally honest about the people, places, and things that frustrate the hell out of us.Discussed in this episode:What can I do if my sister is so upset with me that she refuses to communicate? (1:41)What frustrating expectations do your family, friends, or coworkers have of you? (17:52)Listener tip: Considerately letting go of kids’ clothes and toys. (40:46)How can I help someone realize their self-indulgence is harmful? (43:48)How can I encourage my workplace to let go of “hustle culture”? (1:04:01)Talkaboutable: The initial frustrations of change. (1:26:36)Sucky Ad: YouTube gets a taste of its own medicine. (1:28:24)More About Less: What are 7 habits that are making your house feel more cluttered? (1:50:17)Added Value: An upbeat way to recontextualize your fears and frustrations. (1:59:10)LINKSAdded Value: “Part of Life”Article: “7 Sneaky Habits That Are Making Your House Feel More Cluttered”Blog: “Jump in the Lake”Book: Emotional ClutterEssay: “Store-Brand Insecurity”Event: Sunday SymposiumEvent: SimplehavenFilm: Less is NowGame: 30-Day Minimalism GamePodcast: Communication ProblemsPodcast: HedonismPodcast: ShoesPodcast: Small ThingsResource: Clutter CounselingSong: “Blackberry Light”Tweet: ShafeeqWatch: FragmentsRecorded at Earthing Studios.
Sunday Symposium 14
01:05:23|Patreon VIP and True Fan Exclusive. Joshua hosts Sunday Symposium in Los Angeles, California, and he answers the following questions:How do we let go in advance? (1:20)How do we stop fixing ourselves? (7:23)How do you know you're not enlightened? (20:47)What is The Minimalists' new documentary about? (27:52)How do you address the emotions behind letting go? (32:34)What role does love play in letting go? (40:50)How do I make a big career change without clinging to my current job's perks? (48:58)LINKSBand: Canyon CityBook: EarthingBook: Everything That RemainsBook: Stop Fixing YourselfBook: Love People, Use ThingsEssay: "Letting Go In Advance"Essay: "Store-Brand Insecurity"Event: SimplehavenFilm: Less is NowFilm: MinimalismResource: Minimalist Rulebook
486 | Hedonism
02:07:38|The Minimalists talk about why the pursuit of pleasure leads to hedonism, and they answer questions about self-indulgence, pleasure-seeking, self-gratification, self-restraint, immoderation, overindulgence, extravagance, and more.Discussed in this episode:What pleasures are likely to get in the way of living a meaningful life? (1:33)What nonessentials do you overindulge in? (29:54)Listener tip: Letting go of worries, saying no to others, and minimizing online shopping. (48:31)What’s the difference between self-care and self-indulgence? (53:17)When does the need for sexual gratification and variety turn into escapism? (1:04:12)Why does pleasure-seeking lead to FOMO? (1:29:52)More About Less: To make the best of life, there must be pain. (1:44:17)Added Value: JFM’s favorite song of the year is a hedonism anthem. (2:02:03)LINKSAdded Value: “When I’m High”Article: “Hedonism is Overrated”Blog: Becoming MinimalistBook: Against EmpathyBook: Emotional ClutterBook: Everything That RemainsBook: Love People, Use ThingsBook: ManlinessEvent: SimplehavenEvent: Sunday SymposiumEssay: “The Amplification of Joy”Essay: “Expensive Clothes Are Not an Investment”Essay: “Letting Go in Advance”Podcast: How to LovePodcast: InfidelityPodcast: RestraintPodcast: Savage LovecastWebsite: MinimalismRecorded at Earthing Studios.
485 | Small Things
02:09:42|The Minimalists talk about the small things that feel like a big deal to let go of. Discussed in this episode:Do I count my straws, screws, and old paperwork separately when playing the 30-Day Minimalism Game? (1:24)What small things turn into big problems? (17:27)Listener tip: Preserving the memories of loved ones after they’re gone. (43:29)What’s the kindest way to tell my partner that he’s holding on to clutter? (45:53)If something adds value to my life but produces negative feelings, should I keep it or get rid of it? (1:00:52)How can I talk to my young child about minimizing their things without forcing them to declutter? (1:09:29)How can I encourage the people in my household to use resources more sparingly? (1:22:01)Talkaboutable: What are three things JFM has renounced? (1:34:24)Talkaboutable: Why is it so hard to lie? (1:42:57)Talkaboutable: The average person loses up to nine items every day. (1:51:41)More About Less: Good Housekeeping UK’s take on the Minimalism Game. (1:57:51)Added Value: It takes a lot to really disappear. (2:03:14)LINKSMinimalism isn’t about counting the things you own; it’s about owning only the things that count.What’s left undone undoes you.Letting go of a thing requires letting go of the story behind the thing.Minimalism is the thing that gets us past the things so we can make room for life’s most important things.If a thing amplifies your misery, let it go.Children listen with their eyes, not their ears.Boundaries are best outlined by benefits.Recorded at Earthing Studios.
484 | Conflict Frequencies
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483 | The Renunciation
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482 | Lights On
02:06:25|The Minimalists are joined by Annaka Harris to talk about the unknown corners of consciousness and the cosmos.Discussed in this episode:How does detachment relate to awareness? (1:54)What takes you out of the present moment? (19:37)Right Here, Right Now: Two exciting updates from The Minimalists! (44:48)Listener tip: How to normalize saying “I don’t know.” (47:20)How do I know whether I’m spending too much time fantasizing about the future? (50:25)Why do we find it hard to listen to and learn from the political views we disagree with? (1:03:04)Should we build an additional garage to help store all our stuff? (1:17:58)What can I do to let go of parenting guilt? (1:33:07)More About Less: Only 10–15 percent of people are self-aware. (1:45:20)Added Value: “You Don’t Need Anyone.” (2:01:01)LINKSAdded Value: “You Don’t Need Anyone”Article: “Eurich Explores Why Self-Awareness Matters”Book: ConsciousBook: Emotional ClutterBook: I WonderEvent: Sunday SymposiumFilm: MinimalismGame: Mindful Games Activity CardPodcast: ConsciousPodcast: Let Go of PoliticsPodcast: Minimalist ToolsPodcast: The Science of HappinessWatch: Success Does Not ExistWebsite: Annaka HarrisWebsite: Lights OnWebsite: Professor ShawnRecorded at Earthing Studios.