The Mindfulness & Grief Podcast

Pets are not just animals that live in our house, they are our chosen family. When they die it is heartbreaking because we love them so much! The key to surviving the death of our beloved cats and dogs is to first acknowledge that it hurts, and acknowledge that our grief is real and understandable. As with the loss of anyone we love, it is helpful to find ways to honor their memory and the imprint they leave on our heart. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief podcast Dave Roberts and I continue the conversation we began in an earlier episode on Pet Loss & Grief. Since then, both Dave and I have both experienced major pet losses, and we discuss the myriad of feelings that pet owners face - from feelings of guilt surrounding euthanasia, wondering how you will survive without your best friend, and even navigating the decision to welcome another furbaby into the house. We also talk about constructive rituals and memorial spaces you can set up to remember your companion animal. For many of us the death of a pet is one of the hardest losses to navigate because of the unconditional love. You are not alone, and I hope this episode will help you like it helped me.

If you have been blaming yourself for the death of your loved one, or feeling guilty that you didn't do something you "should" have done, you are not alone. Whether your special person died by suicide, an overdose, long-term illness or suddenly, self-blame often appears. Guilt and shame are heavy burdens to bear, and add more suffering on top of our broken heart. In the 31st episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, award-winning author of When Their World Stops, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and founder of the Grief & Trauma Healing Network shares her insights into working with guilt, regret, and self-blame in the face of traumatic grief, mental health struggles, addiction, suicide, and other types of loss. She also offers valuable insights into how friends can help their grieving friends, which will give you insight into getting what you need from those around you. Anne-Marie is a compassionate healer, and I hope you will get as much from this podcast as I did interviewing her! Be sure to check out the downloads below, including an excerpt from her book. Downloads From Anne-Marie Lockmyer Free Book Excerpt: ​Chapter 1 of When Their World Stops 5 Things Every Griever Needs to Know  5 Ways to Help A Grieving Friend Do Not Forget List If You Have a Grieving Friend About Anne-Marie Lockmyer Anne-Marie Lockmyer was far removed from pain until she got the call no one ever wants to get - her beloved husband of 26 years had suddenly died while she was out of the country. Everything changed for her at that moment and the emotional pain crushed her. Nothing prepared Anne-Marie or those around her for this life-shattering experience. As Anne-Marie struggled to understand herself and what she needed, she also had to help her friends understand. Out of necessity, she became a student of grief and during this process, her only child was struggling with mental health issues, another excruciating loss as she watched him suffer. She went on a journey to find meaning in her grief, to meet with it, embrace it, heal and find purpose. And it was transformational! Her experience, research, education and training in grief, loss and trauma has equipped her to work with grieving people in a powerful way.  She wrote an award-winning book called When Their World Stops: The Essential Guide to Truly Helping Anyone in Grief. Anne-Marie is an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, Certified in Critical Incident Stress Debriefing, a Certified Trauma Integrative Practitioner, a Grief and Mental Health Advocate and Founder of the Grief and Trauma Healing Network.   Her greatest joy is to take people on the same healing journey she experienced - to allow them to remember their loved one well but without suffering the excruciating pain. She creates a safe place to heal any unresolved grief with a six-session private or 2-day intensive program. She provides crisis support for businesses and training to therapists and counselors on grief and loss. She presents church workshops on Creating a Culture of Hope and Healing to equip churches to support the grieving in their congregation and community. She loves what she does and welcomes opportunities to help others understand grief and the grieving. Anne-Marie is living proof that you can go from barely surviving to thriving. Her message is one of hope and healing after a heartbreaking loss.  You may have changed. Your life may be changed, but life can still be good - and so can you.   

Dreams and sleep are understandably impacted as we all try to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic. Those of us who are already grieving carry an extra load of anxiety in addition to an already aching heart. In this episode, returning guest Dr. Joshua Black shares helpful insights that will empower us to take care of our emotional needs during the waking hours so we can find peace at night, and explores how our dreams give us insights into how we are really doing. A timely follow up to our first interview in Episode 15 Grief Dreams: Continuing Bonds & Awakening Insights, Joshua and I have a candid conversation about how we are coping personally and professionally.  We discuss a range of topics - from Joshua's own grief dream that involves his father and childhood home, to what is in our pantry to eat during the pandemic. This interview left me feeling calm and hopeful. I hope it does the same for you!

Grief is hard at any age. As a queer young adult ​​in the south, Shelby faced the worst four years of her life as both of her parents were diagnosed with life-limiting illnesses. When her mother died "the stuff really hit the fan," as she put it. At first she resisted her pain, but it was in the giving in to her grief that real wisdom was found. Shelby has evolved into a compassionate young woman that helps people of all ages learn how to face their grief with radical self-compassion.  In this candid interview, the author of Permission to Grieve shares her experience and the wisdom gained from navigating the death of her mother from breast cancer. Tending to your own pain is a radical act of self-compassion. Shelby offers inspiring guidance that will help you grieve authentically no matter where you are on your life’s journey.

"Hope is not fragile; just hard to find when the lights go out." This quote from bereaved mother Kim Peacock's book, Victorious Heart resonates with so many people who have suffered and survived a traumatic loss. Kim knows this intimately, as her beloved daughter Nicole died in an ATV accident just a few days after Christmas in 1998. In episode 28 of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Kim shares how she pulled herself out of the void that was left in her world so she can grieve and still live life fully. She shares how she and her husband navigated their different styles of grieving, her relationship to God and faith, and self-care practices that you can use to care for yourself when your world feels like it has fallen apart. She also offers wise guidance to anyone who is not sure what to say or do when someone they care about has suffered a devastating loss. This inspirational and generous interview offers an overview of what grief can look like over twenty years after the loss, and is a guiding light that will help you through the darkness. While Kim's experience is rooted in child loss, this is a good listen for anyone who is grieving a loss.

Coping with grief after a loved one has died from an overdose has a unique set of challenges. All too often the focus is on the circumstances of the death, not the life, of a very special person who loved, lived, and most likely tried to overcome their addiction. Often exhausted by the worry, caregiving and anticipatory type of grief that precedes this type of loss, friends and family members of someone who died by overdose need compassion, self-care, and each other. In the 27th episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, grief counselor Dave Roberts shares ways that you can cope with overdose grief and refocus the lens through which this loss is viewed on the person, not the addiction.