The Late Diagnosis Club

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Katharine Gates, a writer, artist, and long-time creative who identified as Autistic and ADHD after a lifetime of questioning herself.Katharine shares how she spent decades feeling like the “odd one out” — academically gifted, outwardly successful, yet constantly struggling with everyday life, relationships, and a persistent sense that something didn’t quite fit.After 40 years of therapy, misdiagnoses, and searching for answers, it was a period of Autistic burnout that finally led her to recognise her neurodivergence and begin to reframe her life.This is a conversation about being misunderstood for decades — and what changes when you finally understand yourself.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Katharine Gates — writer, artist, and Autistic + ADHD creatorYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Gifted child, lifelong differenceDiscussion: Masking, achievement, and burnoutPrivilege and hidden accommodationsADHD + Autism dual identificationAlexithymia and emotional processingSpecial interests and bottom-up thinkingFamily patterns and generational neurodivergenceSelf-compassion and dropping shameKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Katharine Gates, whose story reflects a common Late Diagnosis Club experience — decades of feeling different, capable, and confused all at once.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Katharine’s StoryKatharine describes herself as an “exceedingly odd child,” growing up academically gifted but struggling to translate that success into everyday life.She became highly skilled at masking — orienting her life around achievement and external validation — while privately questioning why basic things felt so difficult.Over time, this led to cycles of burnout, misdiagnosis, and self-blame, with labels such as depression, anxiety, substance use, and personality disorder used to explain her experiences.It wasn’t until a major burnout in adulthood that Katharine encountered the concept of autistic burnout and began recognising herself in Autistic narratives.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsGifted but struggling: Academic success masking real challengesHyper masking: Performing competence at the cost of burnoutBurnout trigger: Brain “stopping” rather than emotional collapseTherapist dismissal: Being told she “just wanted to feel special”ADHD alongside Autism: Dual identification later in the processAlexithymia: Difficulty identifying and processing emotionsMasking as performance: Life experienced as “putting on a show”Parenting moment: Struggles with empathy prompting deeper reflectionGenerational patterns: Neurodivergence, trauma, and coping across family linesSpecial interests: Deep dives into systems, patterns, and categorisation4️⃣ Key LearningsYou can be highly capable and still struggle deeply.Masking can delay recognition for decades.Privilege can both hide support needs and meet them.Burnout can be the turning point toward understanding.Emotional processing differences are often overlooked.Special interests can shape identity, career, and meaning.Self-compassion can be one of the most powerful outcomes of a diagnosis.📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Dale Pickles — host of Sendcast and Managing Director of B Squared — for a wide-ranging conversation on late diagnosis, education systems, and what it really means to support neurodivergent people.Dale shares how he grew up surrounded by special education — yet still missed his own Autism and ADHD. It wasn’t until 2023, prompted by supporting his daughter through her diagnosis journey, that everything finally clicked.This is a conversation about understanding yourself, supporting the next generation, and rethinking systems that weren’t built for neurodivergent minds.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Dale Pickles — SEND specialist, podcast host, and Managing Director of B SquaredYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Family neurodivergence and missed recognitionLearning social rules and maskingLate diagnosis through parentingNavigating the UK diagnosis systemEducation system challenges and executive function in schoolsSEND reform and needs-led supportAI and neurodivergent support toolsKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Dale Pickles and reflects on how someone can grow up immersed in special education and still miss their own neurodivergence.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Dale’s StoryDale grew up in a family deeply connected to special education, yet his own Autism and ADHD were not identified.Although he recognised he was different, he didn’t feel he met diagnostic criteria. Instead, he developed ways to adapt, learning social rules, structuring his environment, and building a life that worked for him.His path to diagnosis came later, prompted by supporting his daughter through her own challenges and recognition.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsMissed in plain sight: Growing up around SEND without recognising himselfFamily neurodivergence: Traits present across generationsLong-term relationships: Building connections through learned skillsDiagnosis trigger: Supporting his daughter through school strugglesSelf-accommodation: Designing life to reduce frictionLabels vs reality: Diagnosis doesn’t define abilityFail-first system: Support often comes only after crisisSEND reform: Moving toward needs-led supportEarly intervention: Preventing long-term harmExecutive function gap: A missing focus in schoolsAI support: Tools for communication, reflection, and preparationEnvironmental impact: Needs to change depending on context4️⃣ Key LearningsYou can build a life that works without knowing why it works.Late diagnosis often comes through supporting others.Self-accommodation is a powerful but often invisible skill.Diagnosis is personal and not always necessary for everyone.Education systems often require failure before support.Early support can prevent long-term harm and trauma.Executive function is a key area often overlooked in schools.📌 Notice BoardDale’s Podcast - https://thesendcast.com/sendcast-episodes/Dale’s LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/dalepicklesBrain in Hand App📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Jason Killian, an engineer, hiking instructor, and long time member of the club, who shares his journey to understanding himself as Autistic in his 40s.Growing up in a neurodivergent household, Jason was unknowingly accommodated in early childhood. Despite strong academic performance, Jason struggled with social integration, bullying, and later workplace dynamics, experiences that only made sense years later through the lens of Autism.This is a conversation about understanding your needs, building a life that fits, and what changes when you finally have the right framework.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Jason Killian — Engineer, hiking instructor, and Autistic advocateYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Early environment and hidden accommodationsDiscussion: School overwhelm and social expectationsIEPs, missed diagnoses, and academic maskingWorkplace challenges and burnoutLate identification and diagnosis journeySelf-accommodation and relationshipsHiking, regulation, and sensory experienceKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Jason Killian, a longtime LDC member whose story explores what it means to grow up supported, but not understood, and to find clarity later in life.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Jason’s StoryJason grew up in a neurodivergent family where his needs were naturally accommodated — quiet spaces, independence, and room to explore interests.But once he entered school, sensory overwhelm, social expectations, and group environments became challenging. Without a framework for Autism, these struggles were interpreted as social difficulties rather than unmet needs.Although he performed well academically, Jason experienced bullying, isolation, and later workplace challenges, particularly around communication, expectations, and social norms.It wasn’t until adulthood — after years of reflection, therapy, and recognising patterns — that Jason identified as Autistic and sought a formal diagnosis.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsNeurodivergent household: Early needs met without formal recognitionSchool shock: Sensory overwhelm and social confusion in group settingsIEP limitations: Focus on social skills, not sensory or learning needsBullying experience: Social differences targeted in adolescence and workCollege turning point: Finding acceptance in the queer communityPandemic reflection: Patterns recognised through shared experiences onlineRelationship clarity: Shared neurodivergence improves understandingWorkplace shift: Smaller company enabling better fit and autonomyHiking regulation: Nature as a consistent nervous system supportSensory joy: Smell, sound, and visual richness in outdoor environments4️⃣ Key LearningsSupport without understanding can still leave gaps.Academic success does not mean needs are being met.Late identification often comes through pattern recognition over time.Self-accommodation is a critical skill for wellbeing.Relationships can improve with shared understanding and language.Environment plays a major role in regulation and success.Special interests can become both careers and lifelines.📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Danielle Procope Bell, PhD, an Autistic Black feminist scholar and Assistant Professor of Africana Studies at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville.Danielle shares how she knew from early childhood that she was different, finding other children chaotic, preferring books and structure, and feeling an invisible glass wall between herself and others.Like many late-identified adults, Danielle’s recognition journey deepened after her son’s Autism diagnosis, when family patterns suddenly came into focus and helped her understand herself in a new way.This is a conversation about identity, lineage, belonging, and what becomes possible when you finally see yourself clearly.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Danielle Procope Bell, PhD. — Scholar, professor, and Black feminist thinkerYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Early difference, late recognitionDiscussion: Hyperlexia, gifted programs, and childhood belongingFamily neurodivergence and being accepted at homeSon’s diagnosis and family pattern recognitionRace, gender, and what gets missed in Autism conversationsAutigendering and Black feminist theoryKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Danielle Procope Bell, PhD, whose work sits at the intersection of Autism, Black feminism, gender, and identity.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Danielle’s StoryDanielle recognised from kindergarten that she related differently to the world. While other children felt unpredictable and chaotic, she preferred reading, routine, and solitary play.Her traits were interpreted as shyness and giftedness rather than Autism. She was moved into a gifted program, but the transition also brought racial and class isolation.Later, after her son was diagnosed as Autistic, Danielle began to recognise familiar patterns in herself, her father, and wider family members — leading to her own formal diagnosis.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsKindergarten awareness: Knowing early that other children felt chaoticHyperlexia signs: Reading from age three and a deep love of booksSon’s diagnosis: Recognition through seeing herself reflected in himRepresentation gap: Autism narratives dominated by white male stereotypesTraits misread: Black Autistic traits interpreted as aggression or defianceODD pipeline: Black children funnelled into behavioural labels instead of supportMedical privilege: Access to quality adult assessment shaped outcomesBlack feminism as home: Intellectual spaces that affirmed difference before diagnosis4️⃣ Key LearningsMany Autistic people know they are different long before they know why.Diagnosis journeys are shaped by race, gender, and class.Traits are often interpreted differently depending on who displays them.Representation changes who gets recognised and supported.Identity can be built through community as much as through medicine.📌 Notice BoardThe Department of Africana Studies at the University of Tennessee, KnoxvilleBlack, White, and in Colour: Essays on American Literature and Culture by Hortense J. SpillersParable of the Sower by Octavia ButlerSister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audry LordeThe users of the erotic - centring your internal experience by Audry LordeSula by Toni MorrisonThe Deep by River Solomon📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast

Warning: This episode includes discussion of terminal cancer, sudden bereavement, grief, burnout, and mental health struggles. Please listen with care.In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes Scott Simpson, a late-identified Autistic and ADHD creator, former broadcast journalist, and widowed father who has been raising his son solo since 2016.After decades working in radio, Scott’s life began to unravel through grief, burnout, and the collapse of the structures that had quietly supported him for years. What followed was a search to understand executive functioning, ADHD, and eventually Autism.Together, Angela and Scott explore hidden support needs, burnout after loss, Autistic shutdown, identity through memoirs and community, and why many late-identified adults only recognise their needs once life’s scaffolding disappears.This is a conversation about grief, structure, survival, and finally understanding yourself.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: Scott Simpson — Content creator, former broadcaster, and late-identified AuDHD parentYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the ChairMember introduction: Gifted kid, burnout, and late recognitionDiscussion: Special education and social confusionWidowhood, solo parenting, and hidden support needsRadio career collapse and autistic burnoutADHD diagnosis and later Autism recognitionStructure, scaffolding, and unmet needsKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces Scott Simpson, a creator and former radio professional whose late identification followed years of grief, burnout, and trying to understand why life had become so much harder.2️⃣ Member Introduction: Scott’s StoryScott was identified as “gifted” in childhood and placed into a specialist education program. While his intelligence was recognised early, his social struggles and deeper support needs were not.As an adult, he built a long career in broadcasting, married, became a father, and later experienced profound loss when his wife died of cancer while their son was still young.When career structure and family scaffolding fell away, Scott began exploring executive functioning, received an ADHD diagnosis, and later recognised Autism.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsGifted program: Early intelligence recognised, while deeper needs were missedSmart but struggling: Academic ability masking social confusionRelationship patterns: Trying hard without understanding the rulesSudden grief: Becoming a widowed father to a three-year-oldRadio collapse: Career pressure, impossible demands, and burnoutHidden scaffolding: Job structure and parenting routines quietly sustaining lifeADHD first: Executive functioning becomes the doorway to understandingAutism later: Shutdowns, overwhelm, and lifelong patterns making senseMemoirs mattered: Learning through Autistic voices and lived experienceSupport needs emerge: Struggles become visible once the structure disappears4️⃣ Key LearningsHigh achievement can hide unmet support needs.Grief and burnout often expose needs that were once masked.Executive functioning struggles are often misunderstood as laziness or failure.Late recognition can come after life changes remove coping systems.Autistic voices and memoirs can be more powerful than diagnostic checklists.Support is often invisible until it is gone.📌 Notice BoardScott’s WebsiteScott’s YouTube Channel📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast

In this meeting of The Late Diagnosis Club, Dr Angela Kingdon welcomes KW Raney, a therapist, creative, and podcast host who identified as AuDHD in adulthood after years of misdiagnosis, burnout, and self-blame.As a child, KW was labelled with oppositional defiant disorder and grew up believing he was difficult, lazy, and broken. But decades later, recognition of ADHD, and later Autism, helped him reframe the struggles that had followed him since childhood.Together, Angela and KW explore the cost of wrong labels, Autistic burnout, meltdowns mistaken for behavioural problems, sensory overwhelm, masking through work and education, and the long process of learning how to accommodate yourself instead of fighting yourself.🪑 AttendeesChair: Dr Angela Kingdon — Author, community-builder, and Autistic advocateGuest: KW Raney — Therapist, creative, and AuDHD advocateYou: The Listener!🗒️ Meeting AgendaOpening remarks from the Chair Member introduction: Misdiagnosis, masking, ADHD discovery and later Autism recognitionDiscussion: ODD labels and childhood misunderstandingBurnout, depression, and reframing the pastMeltdowns, sensory overwhelm, and self-accommodationMusic, animals, and nervous system regulationTrusting your own internal compassKey learningsClub announcements🧾 Minutes from the Meeting1️⃣ Opening RemarksAngela introduces KW Raney, who reflects on how years of wrong labels shaped his identity, and how discovering he was AuDHD helped everything begin to make sense.2️⃣ Member Introduction: KW’s StoryKW was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder as a child, a label that framed his distress and overwhelm as bad behaviour rather than unmet needs.Despite academic success, he carried deep feelings of failure and self-blame into adulthood. It was only later, through recognising ADHD and then Autism, that he began to understand the lifelong patterns beneath those experiences.3️⃣ Discussion HighlightsODD label: Childhood distress framed as defiance instead of neurodivergenceHidden struggle: Good grades masking internal overwhelmAdult ADHD recognition: A workplace conversation changed the lensAutism realisation: Later patterns are becoming clear through a new frameworkBurnout reframe: Depression and suicidality viewed differently in hindsightMeltdowns misunderstood: Pressure-valve overload mistaken for behaviour problemsSelf-accommodation: Learning to support needs instead of suppressing themAnimal regulation: Comfort, pressure input, and nervous system calmMusic as lifeline: Emotional release, identity, and connectionCreative return: Rebuilding expression after burnoutInner compass: Learning to trust yourself over old labels4️⃣ Key LearningsWrong labels can shape identity for decades.Achievement does not cancel out struggle.Burnout is often misunderstood when neurodivergence is unseen.Meltdowns are overwhelm, not moral failure.Self-accommodation can be life-changing.Healing often begins when you trust your own experience.📌 Notice Boardhttps://substack.com/@mraskmorehttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203579170📣 Club Announcements🎧 The Late Diagnosis Club is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major platforms.💬 Join our online meetups and community at latediagnosis.club.📌 Check the LDC Notice Board for Member Contributions💜 There is a small charge — but no one is turned away for lack of funds.🌈 Celebrate autistic voices with early access, ad-free listening, and our full archive at AutisticCulturePlus.com🌐 Visit www.autisticculturepodcast.com📲 Follow us on Instagram: @autisticculturepodcast