The Kindness Code

This is so important.Please share this with anyone who works in children’s homes, foster care, education, or anywhere around children who have been let down by adults.Loved this convo with Jane Keenan - she has 37 years experience and this podcast is incredible for learning - because making difference in care is about is constantly learning:How we show up better for our kids.How we put our ego aside.How we stop needing to be seen as the good adult and make sure we are the safe adult.Self awareness, self care and most importantly being committed to continually learning and growing is the key to this incredibly important but often exhausting work.Our kids need adults who can reflect, apologise, repair, and keep learning.We also talked about the work Jane is doing around care-experienced adults - importantly her new podcast The Emerging Changemakers Podcast (release date TBC)There are so many powerful voices in this space - people who experience care and have actual lived experiences to share - and they are helping to shape the sector.I’ve spoken to a lot to care leavers and the same message comes through - believe in the kids, believe that they can and will, have aspirations for them. Because if we only talk about the worst outcomes, what subliminal expectations are we putting on our children?“We have no business capping the aspiration and opportunities for our children, simply by bringing a belief that they will never amount to anything."CARE LEAVERS CAN AND DO. This line should be in every home, every school, every team meeting.Please get your teams to listen to this episode🎧 Listen now:Youtube: https://lnkd.in/ef-9RHKQApple podcasts: https://lnkd.in/eVdaqc2ZSpotify: https://lnkd.in/edHNHB2kLearn more here:https://lnkd.in/eh-CQYhNhttps://lnkd.in/e4Cb-Jgt

The 2am shift: therapeutic parenting when you're exhausted, understaffed and on your own It's 2am. A young person is in crisis. You've been on shift for nine hours. And someone in your training told you to stay regulated. This episode gets honest about what therapeutic parenting really looks like at the sharp end of a night shift - why night time is uniquely triggering for looked after children, what the window of tolerance means when you're running on empty, and what organisations consistently get wrong about supporting the people doing this work. Plus, three things any residential worker can do tonight. Identity, culture & belonging: who am I when my story keeps changing?

"I didn't leave the care system. The care system left me." Sam Gardner spent 21 years in care. He now delivers transformative talks and training for those supporting care-experienced children -and is one of the most powerful voices in the sector. His message to anyone working with children in care comes down to one word: Stay. Stay when they push you away. Stay when they call you Mum and then never call anyone Mum again. Stay when the seeds you plant won't grow for ten years. This episode broke me a little. I hope it lands with you too.

What makes a house feel like home for a child in care?In this episode, we explore how emotional safety, consistent relationships, and everyday moments of connection create a true sense of belonging. Because a home isn’t just where a child lives - it’s where they feel safe, seen, and accepted, even on the hard days.

You know when you buy a new car, and suddenly you see the same car everywhere? The cars haven’t magically multiplied. Your brain has just started noticing what you’ve told it to look for. This came up in this week’s episode of The Kindness Code Podcast with Andy Baker, author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours that Challenge - and honestly, it really stopped me. Because if a whole staff team keeps saying, “This young person is aggressive”… What are we training everyone to see? Aggression. Every time. And then even the smaller things, the things we might not have noticed before, start getting pulled into that same story. That is powerful. And it’s dangerous. The answer isn’t just “catch them being good.” That sounds lovely, but it’s far too vague. The real work is identifying the positive incompatible behaviour - the thing the young person can’t do at the same time as the behaviour we’re worried about. So if we’re worried about abusive language, the opposite might be respect. But “respect” on it’s own doesn’t mean much unless we define it properly. What does respect actually look like in this home, on this shift, with this child? It might be speaking kindly. Holding a door. Walking away rather than escalating. Helping someone who is struggling. That’s what we need to train our brains to notice. And as always in care, the work starts with the adults first.Able Training | Training made easy.

More than a label This week on The Kindness Code, we’re joined by Bethaney Dixon. From lived experience to building a movement… Bethaney shares how her own journey through the care system led her to create Adelphi – turning lived experience into a growing movement that supports care-experienced people through guidance, community, and partnerships across the UK. Together, we explore what it really means to move beyond stigma and labels - and how awareness, education, and empowerment are key to creating lasting change. Because support shouldn’t stop at independence.Adelphi – Adulting, Together™ | Digital Support for Care Leavers & Organisations