The Harry Hill Show

Harry’s ex Mandy crashes the cold open with a few home truths set to music, then Keith Lemon and Bo’ Selecta creator Lee Francis stops by to talk getting discovered by Davina McCall, “manifesting” Keith Lemon on his kitchen wall, following Richard and Judy in character, and testing Celebrity Juice games with Johnny Vegas. Dr Emily Patterson-Morgan joins us in Theme Of The Week to discuss the genuinely unhinged life of Lord Byron.00:00 – Cold open: Mandy crashes the show01:20 – Breakup song03:53 – Leigh Francis arrives04:40 – Leigh’s podcast with Jill, Emma Bunton and Jade05:36 – How they really first met07:49 – Alex Horne and “when’s Kevin Lygo gonna die”08:18 – Gino D’Acampo’s “northern people” story09:42 – Show and tell: Fancy Dress Friday15:16 – Sarah the AI Bot: Lee’s facts and early career22:14 – Keith Lemon and Avid Merrion origin story25:20 – Sketch: the dating agency28:25 – Celebrity Juice, Keith Lemon the Film, Rocketman cameo32:19 – Ad break: Notorious Baddies Mini Pants34:01 – Theme of the week: Lord Byron48:27 – Name the Celebrity Seed52:20 – Gary’s Joke Corner54:50 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans New episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday. Subscribe so you don't miss Gary's Joke Corner. #TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill "Leigh Francis" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Leigh Francis. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

In this week's episode of the Podscarf, we welcome prop comedy legend, Spencer Jones, alongside University of Manchester New Testament scholar Dr Andrew Boakye, for an hour of pure, unadulterated junk-shop invention and first-century Galilean prophecy. Licky's fame finally goes to his head, Spencer unveils a £160 pair of parcel-photo feet, Sarah the AI Bot grows a moustache, and Gary goes blonde. New episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday. Subscribe so you don't miss Gary's Joke Corner.#TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill #SunilPatel #nationwidemigrationandeducation "Spencer Jones" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Spencer Jones. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."

Sunil Patel turns up to be offered a Scotch Prize Ball (Regency Innovation TM), asked repeatedly about working for Natwest, and finds out from an AI bot that his dad ran a pub, prompting a full on-air correction.Harry sits down with crime historian Dr Angela Buckley for this week's themed deep-dive, Victorian Crime, and somebody nearly wins a round of Name the Celebrity Seed.0:17 The Mechanically Reclaimed Meat Society (MRSA)1:03 Introducing Scotch Prize Balls4:01 Offering Sunil a Scotch Prize Ball4:52 "Have We Met Before?"5:05 The Radio Show About Living Forever5:26 The Man Who Freezes Bodies6:01 £130k for Full-Body Cryonics6:38 Who Makes This Set?7:14 How Cryonic Freezing Actually Works7:55 "I'm Going to Say Scam"8:07 Paying for Your Own Cryonics with Life Insurance9:20 Is There a Halfway House for Frozen Guys?9:25 Middle-Aged Men Freezing Their Dead Mothers10:11 How Sunil Feels About AI11:26 Mistaken for a Fred West Advert11:49 Nationwide or NatWest?13:01 Sarah's AI Biography Begins14:57 "Not Much Clear Information About Me Online"15:04 The University of Kent Honorary Doctorate16:02 How He Drifted Into Stand-Up17:28 Sarah's Grudge Against Charles the Robot19:13 "Best Actor in That Nationwide Advert"20:51 The Crypto Podcast and the 12-Year-Old NFT Millionaire21:37 Pitching HasBucks: A New Cryptocurrency22:24 What's Next for Sunil Patel22:49 Starting Out on Radio 4's Weekending23:43 The Trousers-Falling-Down Pitch Meeting24:19 The Beans-Down-the-Pants Comedian25:39 Twix Drop26:04 Ad Break: Scotch Prize Balls (Full Advert)27:18 Theme of the Week: Victorian Crime with Dr Angela Buckley28:22 What Actually Was Victorian Crime?29:34 Buzzers, Snow Dippers and Victorian Thief Slang30:16 Crimes Against Property vs Crimes Against People30:56 Policing Before the Police: The Bow Street Runners31:44 Punishments: Capital Crimes, Fines and Transportation32:17 Detectives in Disguise33:24 Modern Pickpocketing (and Phone Theft)34:17 Jack the Ripper35:16 Why the Press Made Him a Legend37:03 The Royal Family Conspiracy Theory38:00 The Victorian Crime Hotbeds38:37 Murdered in Your Own Bed39:51 The Victorian Version of a Phone Scam40:06 Prison Treadmills40:54 Why Transportation to Australia Ended43:20 Where to Find Dr Angela Buckley's Work44:16 How Victorian Detectives Actually Solved Crimes47:22 "Criminals Always Return to the Scene"47:54 Are Criminals Getting Better?48:24 Name the Celebrity Seed52:31 Gary's Joke Corner54:15 Butterfly In Blue JeansNew episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday. Subscribe so you don't miss Gary's Joke Corner.#TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill #SunilPatel #Nationwide"Sunil Patel" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Sunil Patel. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."

Sara Pascoe turns up for old times' sake, gets grilled by not one but two Sarah's, pitches a Thursday Murder Club rival called The Wednesday Hospice Pickpocket Club, and has her own historic bankruptcy read out live on air by an AI bot with a long memory and no filter. We welcome Queensmith CEO Brett Afshar for this week's theme, Diamonds, and somebody ends up wearing a £185,000 ring.0:17 Going Through My Dead Nan's Handbag2:19 The Locket2:45 Enter Sarah Pascoe3:12 Licky3:36 Catching Up: "Long Time No See"3:50 The YFCs and the Boadicea Chariot Comedy Analogy7:03 The Weirdos Book Club7:13 Flight from Death Row and the Withered Twin Theory8:38 Comedians Training Their Dogs8:58 Amanda Lamb, Shepherd9:49 Sarah's Verdict on AI10:20 The U2 Album Everyone Hated11:49 The Houseboat on the Strait of Hormuz12:14 Turning Down Riyadh and Dubai13:16 Enter the Other Sarah (the AI Bot)16:02 You Must Be Joking and The Tomorrow People18:38 The Belt That Made His Trousers Fall Down19:16 Meeting Cariad Lloyd at University20:11 The Wisest Thing Anyone's Said About Podcasts24:19 The Participation Song25:11 Would I Lie to You and the Lee Mack Rule26:09 The QI Fee and the BBC Tartan26:57 Hosting Have I Got News for You (and the Glue Prank)28:31 Last One Laughing and the Case for Bob Mortimer30:24 Should Roisin Be Allowed in the Room?32:04 A Cigar and Her First-Ever Stand-Up Gig33:07 Interrupted by a Deliveroo (For Greg Wallace)41:44 Twix Drop (Possibly Poisoned)42:20 Why AI Should Run on Sewage44:16 Sacked from The Great British Sewing Bee46:14 The Thursday Murder Club and the Hospice Pickpocket Pitch50:50 Medievaloo52:48 Theme of the Week: Diamonds with Brett Afshar53:23 What Actually Is a Diamond?54:34 How Diamonds Reach the Surface55:36 The History of the Diamond Engagement Ring56:43 Where in the World Diamonds Are Mined58:47 How You Cut a Diamond With a Diamond59:26 The Largest Diamond Ever Found1:00:33 What Makes a Diamond Valuable1:01:37 Carats, Explained1:04:38 Trying On a £185,000 Ring1:06:53 Blood Diamonds and Diamond Ethics1:08:06 Lab-Grown Diamonds1:11:30 Harry's Joke CornerNew episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday. Subscribe so you don't miss Gary's Joke Corner.#TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill #SaraPascoe

Matt Baker - TV royalty, now knee-deep in mud - turns up straight off the train from Durham and gets sniffed out and confesses to the Great Nuremberg Pork Allergy Incident.We're joined by underwater archaeologist Dr Peter Campbell for this week's themed deep-dive, Sunken Cities, and Matt is put through a bruising round of What Is the Velcro Singing?1:20 Unfinished Business3:29 Enter Matt Baker, Show Mascot3:52 The Swiss Army Taser5:02 Max the Cab Driver's Horse-and-Cart Trivia8:22 Sarah the AI Bot Profiles Matt Baker11:12 Gymnastics, Ballet12:13 Attempting the Crab (Slipped Disc Warning)14:08 Blue Peter, Meg the Sheepdog and the "Stolen" Dog16:46 The Nuremberg Donkey and the Pork Allergy Origin Story18:59 Every Blue Peter Presenter Ever19:53 Countryfile, The One Show and "How Do You Sleep?"20:45 Banned for Throwing Bread: One Show Memories23:30 Casting Mary Berry as a Co-Host25:01 Celebrity Showjumping for Sport Relief26:03 Gary's Advert: The EPOK Pen for Pork Allergies27:57 Theme of the Week: Sunken Cities with Dr Peter Campbell29:11 What Actually Is a Sunken City?33:01 Debunking Atlantis34:38 Mapping the Nile, the Tiber and the Thames36:17 Sonar Scanning the Riverbed39:03 Where to Go: Baia, Italy40:37 What Is the Velcro Singing?43:34 Matt's New Caravan Pet Podcast46:09 Gary's Joke Corner48:46 Goodnight from The Harry Hill ShowNew episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday.#TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill #MattBaker"Matt Baker" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Matt Baker. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner57:00 – Butterfly in Blue JeansLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of the Podscarf, we welcome legendary music producer Rick Rubin—who accidentally ruins our viewer retention stats before getting violently dragged off set—alongside Radio 1 DJ Melvin Odoom and Southwark Borough Fire Commander Daniel Capon for an hour of pure, unadulterated legacy media chat and safety protocols. If you've ever wanted to hear a group commander explain why you should never, under any circumstances, throw a bucket of water on a kitchen oil fire, or witness an adult man explain a legendary schoolyard Desmond’s impression that culminates in a smelly finger, listen up. - 00:04 – Rick Rubin's Creative Process 01:37 – Analyzing the Podscarf Stats: The Sudden Rick Rubin Retraction Dip 02:27 – The Irish vs. Ghanaian Apostrophe Scandal with Melvin Odoom 02:49 – Radio 1 Live Lounge Lore: Chilling out with an Enigmatic Harry Styles 03:54 – Cantaloupe Melon Sugar: Harry Admits He Is Way Too Old for Current Music 04:44 – Licky the Mascot Debuts an Elaborate Swiss Army Taser Dance 05:58 – Selling Nine-Volt Batteries and Homemade Shock Equipment for £20 06:31 – Misidentifying Greg Wallace and Stalking the Aisles of Home Bargains 07:27 – Buying Eight-Foot Teddy Bears and Massive Boxes of Chewing Gum 08:03 – CDJs vs. Vinyl: Embracing the Technical Demise of Creative Revenue 09:29 – Sarah the AI Bot Offers a Fork Bump and Wants to Kiss Your FM 10:10 – Biographies of North London: From Cricklewood to Seven Sisters 11:06 – Minoring in Apple Trees: Learning How to Plan Content at Bedfordshire 11:56 – A-Level Acting Failures, Clearing, and Stanning Trevor Nelson 12:29 – Harry’s Trendy Habits as a Six Music Dad Who Secretly Listens to Gold 13:15 – Student Radio Origin Stories and Trading Drama Classes for BBC Toast 13:53 – Fired From Capital Radio: The Demise of the 2004 Playlist 14:37 – Looking Out at the Aberdeen Museum of Steak while Evanescence Plays 15:24 – Welcome to Funch: The 18-to-24 Female Focus Group Disaster 16:49 – Chatting Rubbish vs. Real Work: Melvin’s Mum the Dementia Care Worker 17:36 – Demanding Jollof Rice and Chicken 18:00 – Sarah Breaks Down the 2009 Kiss Breakfast Sony Radio Silver Award 18:48 – Dick and Dom Bungalow Memories and Bleeding Love on a Miniature Guitar 19:57 – The Nose-Flute Solo Experiment 22:02 – Steve Wright’s The Slammer and Getting Your Foot on the Rung via Free Toast 23:03 – Strictly Christmas Revenge and Scored Minuses on House of Games 24:16 – Celebrity Take Me Out Lift Entrances and a Fake Date at a Holborn Bowling Alley 25:27 – E4’s My Hotter Half: Using Mood Lighting to Make Over Ugly Couples 26:12 – Naked Attraction Musings: Releasing Inhibitions and Boosting Ratings 27:42 – SUV Entrances on Traitors and Marvin Humes’ Jungle Eating Warnings 29:32 – GK Barry Pulls Out of the Show to Go to the Brit Awards 30:18 – Gifting a Best Single Brit Award to an Incredibly Beautiful James Blunt 31:12 – Rick Rubin's Hamburg Cutlery Shop Memory: Paul McCartney’s Missing Spoons 32:00 – Making a Clack-Clack Sound on Cherry Bakewell with German Forks 33:07 – Firefighting: Welcoming Daniel Capon (The D-Man) from Southwark 33:38 – Surviving the 24-Hour Operational Officer Shift Patterns 34:06 – Dispelling Misconceptions: 20,000 Fires vs. 56,000 Special Services 34:38 – The Ultimate London Fire Brigade Statistic: Exactly Five Cats Rescued from Trees 35:27 – Dripping Radiators and Calling 999 Because the Gardener Smashed a Window 36:58 – Modern Prevention Safety: Utilizing Free Station Community Rooms 38:39 – The Nature of Big Red Toolboxes and Fixing Things by Default 39:22 – Cooking Left Unattended: The Demise of the 1970s Damp Tea Towel Protocol 40:48 – Sixty-Second Station Mobilization and the Speed Efficiency of the Fire Pole 41:08 – Harry’s 1976 Maidstone Scout Firefighter Badge Strike Trauma 42:31 – Lithium-Ion Charge Safe Campaigns: The E-Bike Battery Threat 43:22 – Containing Black Smoke Inhalation by Keeping Property Doors Firmly Closed 44:39 – The Unsung Heroes of the LFB Control Room Network 47:05 – Heartwarming and Heartbreaking Families: Working a 30-Year Career 48:34 – Online Home Fire Safety Checkers for Vulnerable London Residents 50:14 – GAME TIME: "What is the Velcro Singing?!" 51:36 – Mistaking Leona Lewis for Little Mix Black Magic and Only Fools and Horses 53:22 – Gary’s Joke Corner (Melvin’s Historic Desmond’s Impression) 55:19 – Old African Sayings: Itchy Bums, Smelly Fingers, and Schoolyard Training 55:34 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans "Melvin Odoom" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Melvin Odoom. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome English stand-up comedian Angela Barnes and Tudor historian Adam Pennington to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated high-street nostalgia and medieval gore. Angela reveals how she used to operate as a suitcase-wielding, bootleg DVD library out of her dad's Great Yarmouth sex shop, and find out why the internal gases of King Henry VIII caused him to literally pop inside his own coffin. --- 00:00 – Gary's Basement Eggs and the Over-Tight Costume Crisis 00:19 – Formulating a £30 "Corned Beef Spam Nut" Kit for Nostalgic Pensioners 03:30 – Licky the Mascot Gives an Extravagant Face-Licking to a Married Woman 05:11 – Turning 50: The 1970s Nuclear Survival Kit Tobacco Tin Lore 06:39 – Waking Up to the Casualty Theme Tune 08:12 – Phoning in the "Angst" Tour and Saving a Life with The Archers 09:51 – Podcasting for "Young" Pensioners and Failing to Sing Like Jeremy Hardy 10:33 – Outsourcing Our Brains to Siri until We Become Sofa Blobs 11:43 – Sarah the AI Bot Summons the Medway Posse and Bigs up Chatham 13:20 – The Maidstone Anthem: Sex Shops, Golden Boots, and Prison Walls 14:40 – High Street Slander 15:22 – Checkers Model Shops and the Measurement Machines of the Golden Boot 16:28 – The Stoned Anagram and Wes Anderson's Secret Mansion in Basted 17:46 – The Caravan-Enthusiast, Naturist, Swinger Sex Shop Dad 18:20 – Sharing the Pre-Streaming Suitcase Bootlegs Like the Original Pornhub 19:22 – Amateur Dramatics as the Comic Fat Girl and Sudden Bereavement at 60 20:21 – Emceeing Jack Skipper’s First Ever Jill Edwards Comedy Showcase 21:13 – The Five-Day House of Games Sweep and Facing Social Media Trolls 23:08– ADHD Hyperactivity and the Sussex University Synesthesia Study 26:41 – The 19-Year-Old Brain Connection Realization and 10 Minutes of Stand-Up Material 27:35 – Ad Break: Regency Foods Present Princess Anne Molds and complimentary Cremation 29:19 – Adam Pennington Explains the Desperate Male Heir Mania of the Tudors 30:39 – Holbein Portraits, Breaking the Papacy, and Banishing Catholics From Succession 31:41 – A 400-Pound King Whose Gammy Leg Smelt From Three Rooms Away 32:08 – Jude Law Spraying Feces, Pus, and Blood Perfume All Over the Firebrand Set 32:48 – Illegitimate Lancastrians, Princes in the Tower, and the Game of Thrones War 34:30 – Tenuous Bloodlines: How 78% of Britons Are Descended From William the Conqueror 35:22 – Royal Imposter Syndrome and Beheading the Remaining Plantagenets 36:19 – Whispering Chromosome Irony Into the Beheaded Ear of Anne Boleyn's Legacy 38:00 – Fastidious Manners, Six-Foot-Three Strapping Youth, and Monastic Dissolution 39:33 – Hiring a Sword Executioner Before Anne Boleyn Even Went to Trial 40:27 – Heavy Petting in the Mid-50s: Catherine Howard and Jane Boleyn's Shared Fate 41:25 – Knighting a Sirloin Steak and Hanging Out at Hever Castle 42:26 – Ulcerated Leg Pain and Popping Open via Internal Coffin Gases 44:08– Sarcophagus Re-Gifting and the 11-Strike Axe Horror of Margaret Pole 45:10– QUIZZITY QUIZ: 53:08 – Gary’s Joke Corner 54:57 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans "Angela Barnes" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Angela Barnes. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices