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The Good Sex Project
Artificial Intimacy
AI is no longer just for the workplace - it's reshaping how we flirt, date, fantasise, and experience intimacy. In the Season 3 opener, host Melody Thomas meets two people using AI to navigate their real sex and dating lives: Helen, a 38-year-old early adopter who used AI to hack the Hinge algorithm, and Rob, a happily married 40-year-old from the US Midwest who's been using AI as a "very different kind of sex toy" - and making surprising discoveries about himself along the way.
Guests
Helen, 38, Ōtautahi/Christchurch - early AI adopter, online dater, algorithm hacker
Rob, 40, Midwest USA - husband, father, and AI-assisted sexual explorer
What We Cover
🤖 AI & the dating apps: Helen's been paying for AI tools for four years. After a decade-long relationship ended, she returned to the apps and immediately put AI to work: curating her profile photos, crafting Hinge prompts, and - controversially - analysing the vibe of the men she was talking to.
📊 Gaming the algorithm: Helen asked her AI to do a deep dive on how Hinge's algorithm actually works, including whether the app deliberately shows you better profiles just as your free likes run out (scarcity psychology, anyone?). She followed the AI's strategy to reset her algorithm - and saw results within 24 hours.
💬 The rotation plan: Overwhelmed by matches, Helen uploaded WhatsApp threads from four different men and asked AI to rank them across categories like emotional maturity, initiative, and long-term potential. The results were... illuminating. And a little savage.
🪞 The mirror moment: Helen asked the AI to turn its analysis on her. What it said stopped her in her tracks - and led to a much-needed break from dating.
🎧 AI as sex toy: Rob discovered audio-first platform Bloom Stories, where users can have text and voice-based sexual exchanges with AI characters. For him, it's been a space for genuine self-discovery - including learning he's a switch, exploring JOI (you can Google that one), and even dabbling outside his usual preferences.
🔒 What to consider before you dive in: Rob shares his advice on choosing platforms carefully: who owns the app, how your data is used, and why consent-aware AI actually matters.
Key Quotes
"Lower quantity, high quality, almost overnight." - Helen, on AI-optimising her dating profile
"It asks me: Would you like to explore who to keep in rotation for what purpose? Savage." - Helen, on the AI's unsolicited strategic advice
"The most powerful sex toy is your imagination." - Rob
"If I have to ask GPT a question about my relationship, I should end it." - Helen, quoting a reel she saw (and fully endorsing)
"There is no room for love in a fortress. It requires exposure." - AI, to Helen, with zero chill
Resources & Platforms Mentioned
Hinge - dating app
Bloom Stories - audio erotica and AI intimacy platform
Also Out Now… Bonus Episodes
🎙️Bonus 1: Sex Bots & Dating Dilemmas with Dr Rebecca Saunders
Melody talks with Dr Rebecca Saunders, Senior Lecturer at Cardiff University, about AI that positions itself as a solution to human loneliness - and how tech-companies harvest your sex-data and shape public desire.
🎙️ Bonus 2: Digital Dangers - The New Rules, with Sean Lyons, Chief Online Safety Officer at Netsafe New Zealand
On how AI is opening new pathways for exploitation online. What parents, caregivers and educators need to know, and what's actually not worth worrying about.
Connect
📧 goodsexproject@gmail.com
📱 Instagram & Facebook: @thegoodsexproject
Content note: This episode contains adult themes and explicit discussion of sexuality.
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