The Gen Mess with Tess

In Episode 51 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Corrine Ishio, founder of My Working Soul, to explore a challenge many fast-growing companies face but rarely talk about: scaling the business faster than the culture can keep up.When organizations grow quickly, hiring often becomes reactive. Leaders focus on roles and results, while the human side of the company quietly gets lost. The result? Misalignment, disengagement, and teams that no longer feel connected to the mission that once energized them.Corrine shares her perspective from years working in talent, recruiting, and HR; helping founders and leadership teams rethink how they hire, communicate, and define culture during periods of rapid growth.In this conversation, Tess and Corrine explore:Why companies struggle to maintain culture as they scaleThe complicated role HR plays between employees and leadershipHow generational misunderstandings shape today’s workplaceWhy Gen Z communication patterns are confusing many managersThe influence of social media on workplace behavior and identityWhy purpose is becoming central to work in the AI eraThey also discuss how leaders can create healthier workplaces by focusing less on rigid definitions of culture and more on communication, self-awareness, and intentional hiring. Because when companies grow quickly, it’s easy to forget the most important part of any organization: the humans building it.Chapters (Timestamps)00:00 – Introduction to Corrine Ishio & My Working Soul 01:05 – Corrine’s Path Into HR & Human-Centered Work 04:00 – What HR Actually Does (vs. what people think it does) 07:00 – Why HR Often Feels Stuck Between Employees & Companies 11:00 – The “Human” Lens Inside Business Operations 13:00 – The Meaning Behind “My Working Soul” 17:00 – Why Culture Breaks When Companies Grow Quickly 20:30 – What a Healthy Workplace Actually Looks Like 23:00 – Communication Differences Across Generations 29:30 – Why Younger Workers Are Often Misunderstood 34:30 – Purpose, Work, and the AI Era 38:30 – Are Younger Employees Harder to Manage? 43:00 – Millennials, Social Media, and Cultural Fragmentation 49:00 – Safety, Identity, and the Digital Workplace

In Episode 50 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess explores a dynamic that quietly derails high performers at every level: the moment work starts to feel like a test.When every meeting feels evaluative and every decision feels like it determines your worth, anxiety rises, and performance often drops. Tess unpacks why this happens and why the solution isn’t caring less, but redefining what actually belongs to you.Drawing from her clinical work with emerging leaders, she breaks down:Why over-focusing on outcomes increases anxiety and self-consciousnessThe psychological difference between effort and approvalHow new managers get stuck trying to predict reactionsWhy Gen Z struggles uniquely in a metrics-driven cultureThe mindset shift that restores confidence, clarity, and flowFrom a first-time manager learning to lead without control, to unexpected lessons from Olympic figure skating and competitive design, Tess illustrates one central truth:Your job is the effort. The outcome was never yours to manage.For HR leaders and executives, this episode is also a leadership lens. When organizations unintentionally create constant evaluation environments, employees tighten up — and innovation suffers. If you’re navigating pressure, perfectionism, or performance anxiety — this episode will help you rethink control and reconnect with your best work.Chapters with Timestamps00:00 – Welcome: When Work Starts to Feel Like a Test 02:00 – Why Anxiety Increases When Outcomes Feel Personal 04:30 – What “Letting Go of the Outcome” Actually Means 06:00 – Effort vs. Approval: The Critical Distinction 07:30 – Case Study: Brittany’s Transition to Management 11:00 – The Office Hours Experiment 13:30 – Changing Your Relationship to Response 15:30 – Performance Pressure & Young Professionals 18:00 – The Gen Z Metrics Trap 21:00 – Why Measured Lives Create Outcome Attachment 23:30 – Flow State & Releasing Control 26:00 – Care Deeply About What’s Yours 28:30 – Final Reflection: Own the Effort, Release the Rest

Tess sits down with Trent Cotton - self-described “non-HR HR executive,” author of Sprint Recruiting and High Performance Recruiting, and Head of Talent Insights at iCIMS. Discussing the nuanced conversation about what the data tells us about AI, generational skepticism from Gen Z to Boomers, and what leaders are getting wrong about the future of work, including:Why leaders often hide behind data instead of using it to deepen human conversationsWhat current workforce data actually says about AI adoption across generationsWhy Gen Z may be more skeptical of AI than expectedThe risk of eliminating entry-level roles too quicklyThe emerging power skills of “agency” and “orchestration”How AI can both enhance human potential and erode connection if misusedThis is not a hype conversation about AI. It’s a grounded discussion about leadership responsibility, workforce redesign, emotional regulation, and the long-term talent implications organizations must prepare for now.If you’re an HR leader, executive, or people strategist navigating uncertainty around automation, layoffs, bias, and generational tension — this episode offers clarity without panic.Because the future of work isn’t just technological. It’s psychological.Chapters with Timestamps00:00 – Welcome + Meet Trent Cotton The “non-HR HR executive” and why business fluency matters in people strategy.04:20 – Data vs. Humanity: Where Leaders Get It Wrong Why hiding behind numbers erodes trust — and how to use data to deepen conversations.11:20 – AI Anxiety: Survival Instinct or Rational Fear? Why resistance to AI may be more about control than job loss.14:50 – The Early Career Crisis No One Is Talking About The danger of automating entry-level roles too quickly.21:00 – Is AI Replacing Human Connection? Attachment to tech, loss of discomfort, and emotional consequences.29:00 – How to Actually Use AI Without Losing Your Voice Practical examples of human-AI collaboration.38:45 – What the Data Says About Generations & AI Why Gen Z may be more skeptical than you think.43:05 – The New Power Skills: Agency & Orchestration What leaders should be developing now.48:05 – AI, Disability & Expanding Human Capability Where technology can increase access and inclusion.

In Episode 49 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess tackles a reality many professionals experience but rarely have language for: what to do when your manager does not create psychological safety and you cannot simply walk away.Drawing on the research of Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson, who coined the term psychological safety, Tess breaks down the difference between discomfort and harm, high standards and humiliation, resilience and self-abandonment.This episode explores:Why unpredictable leadership activates the nervous systemHow generational conditioning shapes our response to toxic managementThe hidden cost of “enduring” unsafe environmentsFive strategic tools to protect your identity and regulate anxietyHow to decide whether to adapt, escalate, or exit intentionallyFor HR leaders and executives, this episode is also a mirror. Psychological safety is not about lowering performance expectations, it is about creating conditions where people can meet high standards without fear. Whether you are managing up, supporting emerging professionals, or building healthier leadership pipelines, Tess offers practical insight into how psychological safety shapes retention, burnout, and long-term performance.Chapters with Timestamps00:00 – Opening: Living in the Mess 01:00 – The Reality of Unsafe Managers 02:24 – “Paying Your Dues” and Toxic Normalization 04:45 – Defining Psychological Safety 07:07 – What Psychological Safety Is (and Isn’t) 09:28 – Your Nervous System at Work 11:52 – Generational Patterns: Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X 14:18 – Strategy #1: Containment (Observe, Don’t Absorb) 16:05 – Strategy #2: Clarity in Writing 17:45 – Strategy #3: Borrow Safety Elsewhere 19:03 – Strategy #4: Emotional Boundaries 20:30 – Strategy #5: Identity Protection & Your “Reality File” 21:23 – Discomfort vs. Harm 23:00 – Adapt, Escalate, or Exit? 24:45 – Psychological Safety Is Not Entitlement

In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Ashley Herd, founder and CEO of The Manager Method, employment attorney, former HR leader at McKinsey & Company and Yum Brands, co-host of the HR Besties podcast, and author of the newly released book The Manager Method: A Practical Framework to Lead, Support, and Get Results.Ashley brings a rare, inside view of management from every angle - frontline work, legal risk, HR leadership, and executive training - to unpack why managers have an outsized impact on employee mental health, engagement, and retention. Drawing on research showing that a manager can influence wellbeing as much as a spouse, Tess and Ashley explore how leadership behavior ripples far beyond performance metrics and into people’s lives at home.This conversation tackles the realities facing modern managers: promotion without training, identity loss when high performers become leaders, generational misunderstandings, and the crushing pressure placed on middle managers. Together, they offer practical, human-centered strategies for leading effectively without burning people out, including Ashley’s core framework: Pause, Consider, Act.This episode is essential listening for HR professionals, people managers, and executives responsible for building sustainable leadership pipelines and healthier workplace cultures in 2026 and beyond.Be sure to subscribe to The Gen Mess with Tess podcast for new episodes weekly. 00:01 – Welcome & Introducing Ashley Herd 02:02 – From employment attorney to leadership educator 03:29 – Why great individual contributors often struggle as managers 05:31 – Promotion myths and the cost of untrained leadership 07:59 – Identity loss when high performers become managers 10:06 – The “LinkedIn test” and chasing titles over fit 12:19 – Why work identity is so powerful (especially in the U.S.) 16:05 – Middle managers: too much responsibility, too little support 18:58 – Why one-on-ones still matter at every leadership level 21:33 – The data: managers impact mental health as much as spouses 24:20 – How leadership stress follows people home 27:58 – Generations at work: framework, not stereotypes 32:23 – Technology, boundaries, and modern burnout 38:22 – Overcorrection, distrust, and workplace isolation 41:16 – One shift every manager can make today: Pause, Consider, Act 44:33 – Ashley’s book, resources, and closing reflections

In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham explores a surprising social experiment that connected strangers across political divides and why it offers a powerful lesson for today’s leaders in the workplace.Drawing from her background as a therapist and her coaching work with organizations, Tess unpacks what HR leaders and managers are experiencing in 2026: burnout that isn’t driven by workload or flexibility, but by chronic psychological strain, emotional role overload, and an increasing inability to tolerate discomfort.Using the “Party Line” experiment as a metaphor, Tess examines how algorithm-driven culture has reshaped our nervous systems, intensified polarization, and made everyday workplace conversations feel high-stakes and unsafe. She breaks down how different generations experience discomfort at work, why psychological safety is often misunderstood, and how avoiding discomfort quietly erodes trust, collaboration, and culture.This episode reframes discomfort not as a failure of leadership, but as a critical skill organizations must relearn if they want healthy teams, resilient managers, and sustainable workplace cultures.00:01 — Welcome to The Gen Mess with Tess Introducing the episode and the theme of learning to live in the mess.00:58 — The “Party Line” Social Experiment Explained Two payphones, two cities, and a radical idea: conversation without algorithms.02:21 — Why Human Connection Changes the Nervous System Dopamine, cortisol, and why constant conflict keeps us dysregulated.03:42 — It’s Hard to Demonize a Human Voice What happens when stereotypes are replaced with real conversation.04:42 — What We’ve Lost Culturally Discomfort avoidance, algorithm-driven identity, and polarization.06:05 — When Beliefs Become Identity Why disagreement now feels like danger instead of difference.06:56 — Connection Requires Discomfort Why real connection—socially and at work—has always been uncomfortable.08:19 — Why Shaming Hardens People The psychological cost of humiliation, judgment, and moral certainty.08:49 — The Workplace Parallel Why the “Party Line” is a metaphor for modern workplace culture.09:16 — Generational Relationships to Discomfort Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, and how each navigates stress and challenge.11:36 — Discomfort vs. Harm Why discomfort is often misinterpreted as trauma or boundary violation.12:34 — Nervous Systems, Not Moral Failures Reframing generational conflict at work.12:34 — The Leadership Skill We Avoid Curiosity, repair, and staying in the conversation.14:18 — Discomfort as Leadership Work Why these “soft skills” are actually advanced leadership competencies.14:48 — Final Reflection Discomfort as the doorway to healthier workplaces and human connection.

In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham addresses a question she hears from HR leaders, managers, and employees alike: Why does work feel so heavy right now, even when things look better on paper?Drawing from her background as a therapist and her work with organizations, Tess explains the challenges HR leaders are facing in 2026: burnout is no longer just about workload or flexibility, but about chronic psychological strain shaped by generational experiences, unclear expectations, and emotional role overload.She breaks down how burnout shows up differently for Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen X, how remote and hybrid work have changed trust, communication, and boundaries, and why managers and HR leaders are often carrying emotional responsibilities they were never trained for.This episode reframes burnout as a human, nervous-system issue - not a performance failure - and offers business leaders a clearer way to think about empathy, accountability, psychological safety, and sustainable workplace culture.

In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham unpacks one of the most emotionally charged conversations happening right now: adult children going no contact with a parent.Drawing from her work as a therapist and her own lived experience, Tess challenges the oversimplified narratives dominating social media and reframes "no contact" not as a trend, punishment, or failure, but as a response to long-standing emotional disconnection and a lack of acknowledgement.This episode explores the generational divide shaping these conversations, why intent does not erase impact, and why emotional safety, accountability, and repair matter more than endurance or tradition. Tess also shares a deeply personal story about her relationship with her father, illustrating how acknowledgement - not perfection - creates the possibility for healing.For leaders, HR professionals, and parents alike, this episode offers a powerful reminder: relationships break down not because people are “too emotional,” but because discomfort is avoided instead of addressed.