The Gen Mess with Tess

What if the secret to building a thriving law firm wasn’t about grinding out endless billable hours—but about rethinking the entire way attorneys work and lead? In this eye-opening episode of Gen Mess With Tess, host Tess Brigham welcomes law firm growth expert Alay Yajnik for a candid conversation that shakes up everything you thought you knew about legal hustle and business success.Discover how Alay Yajnik pivoted from running multimillion-dollar Silicon Valley companies to coaching attorneys—and why most lawyers stumble when it comes to building a lasting, profitable business. You’ll learn why working harder doesn’t always mean earning more, and how breaking out of traditional law firm mindsets—from hourly billing to team management and rate setting—is the real game-changer.Key episode highlights:Why technical skills don’t equal business success (and how “The E Myth Revisited” nails the problem for lawyers, therapists, and service pros)The biggest pain points holding law firm owners back—hint: it’s not just the “hours in a day”How shifting your mindset can help you work smarter, not harder—and finally create the time and income you wantNavigating generational tensions in the workplace: What attorneys get wrong about Gen Z, and why the newest workforce expects more work-life balance and financial stability than everReal talk about raising rates, burnout, hiring, and having those difficult employee conversations (plus how to screen for clients who are truly ready for change)Whether you lead a law firm, run a small business, or just want to understand how generational perspectives are upending the way we work, this episode is loaded with actionable insights and relatable stories.Episode Overview:[00:00:31] Tess Brigham: Welcomes Alay Yajnik; his background in law firm growth[00:01:23] Alay Yajnik: Story of switching from Silicon Valley to coaching attorneys[00:03:08] Discussion: Why attorneys make great clients and what they uniquely struggle with[00:05:15] Skills gap between technical expertise and business acumen; "The E Myth Revisited"[00:07:16] The real issue: Time, burnout, and working smarter[00:09:32] Traditional law firms vs. startup mindset; resistance to change[00:12:11] Symptom vs. cure: Time management as a lever for transforming business results[00:13:19] Raising rates, money fears, and business growth challenges[00:17:27] Navigating client readiness and coaching intake[00:18:07] Generational tensions: Gen Z’s approach to work, bonuses, and raises[00:22:05] How the cost of living, technology, and burnout are shaping new workplace expectations[00:27:04] A deeper look at employee expectations, creativity, and the evolving legal workplace[00:36:33] Final reflections: Lessons from coaching lawyers, generational stereotypes, and business owner frustrations[00:41:06] How to connect withAlay Yajnik and his resources for law firm owners[00:43:17]Intro Announcer: Show outro and next episode previewTune in for an episode that’s more than just law—it’s about building the future of work, one honest conversation at a time.

What if the only way you could escape your toxic work environment was being hit by a bus—not to die, but just to get a break? Shocking as it sounds, that’s the level of desperation bestselling author and executive coach Diana Lowe once felt, and she’s not alone. In this riveting episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain on the hidden emotional toll of modern workplaces and the true meaning behind being “hard to handle.”Join Tess Brigham as she sits down with Diana Lowe—author of "Hard to Handle"—for a raw, honest conversation about surviving abusive bosses, how ‘difficult’ is just a matter of perspective, and why clinical depression became a turning point for radical career reinvention. Together, they untangle how we can learn to live in the mess of work (and life) and find purpose where others might only see crisis.Key highlights include:Diana Lowe’s journey from enduring toxic workplaces in finance, to becoming a champion of emotional intelligence and intentional leadership—even when her own breaking point was a diagnosis of clinical depression.Surprising ways we internalize abusive work environments and why so many suffer in silence, secretly hoping for an unexpected event to rescue them.The real story behind "Hard to Handle": Why every villain has another side, the value of seeing the strengths in ‘difficult’ coworkers, and why we’re all someone’s ‘Chuck’ at work.Generational shifts in the workplace, from tattoos and dress codes (bras at board meetings?) to new norms around mental health—and how leaders can adapt.The truth about DEI (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) in organizations: why emotional intelligence—self and other-awareness—is the missing foundation, and how unconscious biases persist, even with the best intentions.If you’ve ever felt misunderstood at work, frustrated with your boss, or questioned your place in the corporate ladder—this episode will not only validate your experience but give you practical wisdom on how to lead (and live) with more awareness and empathy.Episode Overview00:00:00 – Tess Brigham introduces Diana Lowe and her unconventional career path00:01:04 – Diana Lowe on surviving bad bosses and finding mission in adversity00:03:05 – Recognizing abuse and the moment depression forced a life change00:06:31 – The origins and real meaning behind “Hard to Handle”00:08:25 – Why ‘difficult’ is always in the eye of the beholder00:12:01 – The case study format of the book and lessons from corporate life00:22:18 – Growth, vulnerability, and choosing whether to stay or go in tough situations00:25:14 – Generational differences: mental health, tattoos, and the bra at work debate00:34:45 – Feedback, personal growth, and the art of building people up00:37:39 – DEI, emotional intelligence, and the nuances of real inclusion00:51:07 – How to connect with Diana Lowe and explore her upcoming projects00:53:04 – Closing thoughts: learning to live in the messDon’t miss this episode’s honest, no-fluff take on surviving—and thriving—in the workplace chaos.

What if everything we thought was “wrong” with Gen Z was actually the outcome of generations striving to do better for their children? In this solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham turns the tables on common complaints about today’s youth and boldly reveals how every “mess” in the workplace and at home is really generational evolution in real time—and a sign of remarkable progress.Drawing deeply from her own life as a Gen Xer, therapist, and parent to a Gen Z son, Tess Brigham unpacks the hidden links between generational values, shifting parenting philosophies, and the transformation of work and life. She discusses the evolution from silent survivalists, boomers’ pursuit of success, to Gen X’s badge of independence—and how each generation has tried to heal the wounds of the last, often by swinging the pendulum in new directions.Key highlights from this episode:Why labeling Gen Z as "entitled" or "too sensitive" misses the bigger story of progressTess Brigham’s personal journey parenting a son with mental health challenges—and how it shaped her view of parenting and resilienceHow workplace frustrations with Gen Z are linked to conscious choices Gen X and Millennial parents made to create emotionally safer homesThe groundbreaking shift: Gen Z prizes wellness, therapy, and boundaries not as luxuries, but as new standardsA timely message for every parent and leader: Why the generational mess we’re in is not a mistake, but humanity learning to live, not just surviveBy the end of the episode, you’ll see generational “mess” through a new lens—one of ongoing evolution, empathy, and hope.Timestamped Episode Overview:00:00:01 – Tess Brigham sets the stage: generational challenges and introducing00:00:32 –Tess Brigham: Opening thoughts on Gen Z, the new world of work, and the evolution of values00:02:22 – The progression from the Silent Generation to Gen X: how each raised their children to break new ground00:05:21 –Tess Brighamreflects on Gen X parenting—its aspirations and overcorrections00:07:00 – Ad break:Tess Brighamdiscusses her work with organizations to “clean up the gen mess”00:07:54 – Personal story: Raising her son Max, the challenges of mental health, and questioning modern parenting00:12:06 – The new parenting paradigm: Responding to the child you have, not the one you imagined00:12:44 – The impact on the workplace: Today’s Gen Zers as products of generational evolution00:13:24 – Generational values: How priorities have shifted over time00:14:19 –Tess Brigham shares about her father’s late-in-life emotional growth and seeing progress across the generations00:15:15 – Looking at Gen Z through a lens of celebration, not criticism00:16:19 –Tess Brighamwraps up with a call to embrace the mess as part of evolution00:16:51 –O utro Voiceover: Closes with info about connecting with Tess and future resourcesReady to witness how generational messiness is actually a story of hope and healing? Press play.

What if you could overcome a lifelong fear—like a spider phobia—in under ten minutes? In this episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," host Tess Brigham sits down with Viki Johnston, founder of Accelerate and master practitioner of NLP (neuro linguistic programming), for a fascinating deep-dive into the secrets of learning, growth mindset, and generational shifts in the workplace.Viki reveals how she conquered her extreme fear of spiders on stage using powerful NLP techniques, sparking a new obsession with the method that now impacts her work coaching managers and teams for light bulb moments of transformation. Together, Tess Brigham and Viki Johnston break down why learning should be fun (not serious!), the dramatic differences NLP can make versus traditional therapy, and how “aha” moments propel people to lasting change.The episode unpacks what separates good managers from great leaders—hint: it’s more than delegation—and explores the unique challenges (and superpowers) that new Gen Z and millennial managers are bringing to today's workplace. From using AI and ChatGPT for instant answers to balancing remote work and real-life teamwork, Viki Johnston shares practical strategies for thriving across generations and cleaning up the “Gen Mess.”Tune in for relatable stories, actionable insights, and a fresh perspective on why letting go of old habits (and sometimes, just saying "I don't know") can be a game-changer for growth—at any stage of your career.Episode Highlights & Overview:[00:00:01] Intro Announcer kicks off the generational challenge theme.[00:00:31]Tess Brighamintroduces Viki Johnston and her journey from call centers to founding Accelerate.[00:03:51]Viki Johnston shares her passion for creating “light bulb moments.”[00:08:39]Tess Brigham dives into NLP and its powerful impact—like curing phobias and rewiring mindsets.[00:15:30] How NLP differs from traditional therapy (and why sometimes it’s way faster).[00:22:27] Generational dynamics in the workplace: Gen Z, millennials, and boomers.[00:26:20] The role of AI, ChatGPT, and the shift toward knowledge-sharing.[00:33:28] Good managers vs. great leaders—plus, the art of delegation and empowerment.[00:42:00] Myths and misunderstandings about Gen Z, and the key to bridging the gap.[00:44:04]Viki Johnston advocates for listening, guidance, and embracing “I don’t know.”[00:47:06] Where to find Viki and how Accelerate can support new managers.[00:48:38] How to connect with Tess and keep learning.Whether you’re a new manager, parent, or lifelong learner, this episode will help you see challenges in a whole new way—and maybe even tackle that fear you thought would last forever.

What if every time you judged a younger generation for having it "easy," you were really just grieving your own unmet dreams?In this revealing solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham turns the generational blame game upside down, making a powerful case that beneath every eye-roll and stereotype—Boomers are out of touch, Gen Z is fragile, Millennials are entitled—there’s a shared experience of grief. From nostalgic bitterness to deep-seated anxieties, Tess explores how each generation clings to the belief that their struggles had meaning, while often resenting the freedoms and boundaries claimed by those coming after.Drawing on pop culture examples, workplace trends, and even the existential challenge of AI, Tess dissects why the world feels so tense, how each generation is coping with constant uncertainty, and what it truly means to evolve—not just as a society, but as individuals learning to let go. In a candid reflection on her own journey and those of her clients, Tess challenges listeners to see generational progress as an invitation to heal and redefine purpose, rather than a competition over who "had it worst."Tune in for thoughtful insights, practical strategies, and an honest invitation to make peace with change—because maybe the real legacy isn’t just the pain we survived, but the wisdom we share.Episode Overview & Timestamps:00:00:01 - 00:00:31 –Intro Announcer kicks off the show, teasing generational divides and introducing Tess.00:00:32 - 00:03:41 – Tess Brigham opens on the theme: every generation resents the next, touching on grief and why struggles “need to mean something.”00:03:41 - 00:06:09 – Generational stereotypes in headlines and pop culture, from Boomers to Gen Z, and the underlying grief of unmet expectations.00:06:09 - 00:09:31 – How generational pain shapes identity and workplace norms, especially around boundaries and mental health.00:09:31 - 00:11:19 – Why Gen Z’s approach isn’t laziness, but boundary literacy—and Tess explains her work helping organizations bridge generational gaps.00:11:20 - 00:14:37 – The paradox of technology, AI, and accelerating change; generational exhaustion and instability as the new normal.00:14:37 - 00:16:07 – Collective grief: safety lost, predictability gone, and the urge to “defend our pain.”00:16:07 - 00:19:39 – Tess reframes the purpose of pain: not to compete, but to transform and work together for positive change.00:19:40 - 00:21:01 – Practical advice on reconciling your own grief and embracing evolution in how you view work, mental health, and generational progress.00:21:05 - 00:21:26 –Outro Voiceover wraps up with a message to subscribe, follow Tess, and learn more.

What if the secret to surviving career chaos isn’t more hustle—but smarter engineering? In this eye-opening episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with systems architect and organizational consultant Belle Walker, who reveals why most companies—and leaders—are fighting the wrong fires, and how “engineering thinking” can fundamentally change how we navigate the messiest parts of work and life.Belle shares her unusual journey from a family of engineers to stage management and humanities, and ultimately, to designing scalable, human-centered organizational systems. She explains how her approach blends classic problem-solving with deep empathy—translating abstract chaos into actionable clarity. Belle and Tess dig into why the real friction in organizations isn’t just between people, but between the functions and systems behind them, and how leaders often overlook the root causes of workplace tension.Key highlights include:Why "cleaning up the mess" starts with understanding what problems you’re actually solving (and what resources and constraints you have).The surprising pitfalls of cutting entry-level jobs for AI—and why new talent is essential for adaptability.The energy “budget” concept: how organizations and individuals ignore energy management at their peril, especially in the return-to-office push.How generational expectations shape workplace difficulties—especially for Millennials and Gen Z, and why asking for what you need isn’t entitlement.The reality behind organizational change: why progress always takes longer than it looks in books, movies, or a single sentence.Tune in to uncover actionable strategies for bridging generational gaps, managing energy, and architecting workplace solutions that really work—plus, hear Belle’s take on parenting, the myth of innate genius, and her foolproof method for separating noise from necessity.Episode Overview:00:00 – Podcast intro & meet Belle Walker: organizational chaos vs. blueprints00:04 – Belle’s origin story: engineering family, humanities leanings, Google, and finding the love of “building systems”00:10 – What is engineering thinking? Problem setup vs. pure math00:15 – Real-life chaos: Maps, autonomous vehicles, and the importance of communication00:20 – Managing today’s workplace noise & energy budgets—satellites, commutes, and training00:28 – Generational perspectives: Gen Z, Millennials ask for what they want, impacts on work culture00:34 – AI’s impact on organizational jobs—pitfalls and policy mistakes00:40 – Why leaders miss functional friction (security vs. usability, quick fixes vs. lasting change)00:44 – Change takes time—why it always feels faster in hindsight00:46 – Elder Millennials, COVID parenting, work-life transformations00:52 – How to actually “clean up” the generational mess: leverage strengths, address gaps, solve the right problems00:56 – Belle’s plug for her Friction to Function newsletter00:57 – Tess wraps up: the power of problem-solving, empathy, and learning to live in the “mess”Ready to see your workplace (and maybe your whole life) through a new lens? Hit play and join Tess and Belle as they engineer the way out of the Gen Mess!

What if the real badge of honor isn’t how hard you work, but how well you rest?In this eye-opening solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain on the cultural obsession with burnout—and exposes how every generation has unwittingly contributed to making exhaustion seem like a symbol of strength. Tess traces the roots of hustle culture from Gen X’s independent “latchkey kid” mentality, through Millennials’ overachievement during the Girl Boss era, and lands on Gen Z’s radical redefinition of ambition and mental health.You’ll learn why each generation internalized burnout a little differently, why Millennials became the “burnout generation”, and how Gen Z’s refusal to conflate self-worth with overwork is shaking up workplaces everywhere. Plus, Tess opens up about her own journey to unlearn burnout and offers clarity on how we can collectively move toward a more sustainable, joyful way of living and working.Key Highlights:The evolution of the “hustle” era into today’s burnout epidemic—and how our culture glamorized suffering (00:01:09)Gen X’s stoic independence, Millennials’ “girl boss” hustle, and Gen Z’s focus on boundaries and mental health (00:02:40 – 00:10:12)How resentment between generations over work-life boundaries is really grief for missed opportunities (00:12:56)The toxic cycle of burnout, reward, and repeat that keeps organizations stuck (00:16:20)Practical steps for unlearning burnout and redefining success for yourself and your teams (00:18:55)Ready to question everything you’ve believed about ambition, success, and rest? Tune in and discover why taking off the burnout badge might be the most rebellious—and freeing—move you’ll ever make.Episode Overview with Timestamps:00:00:01 – Podcast introduction and the generational divide00:01:09 – How burnout became a badge of honor and generational differences00:02:40 – Gen X’s origin story and attitude toward burnout00:04:11 – Millennials, hustle culture, and the Girl Boss era00:08:21 – Gen Z’s boundary-setting and work-life philosophy00:11:10 – Tess’s approach to cleaning up “Gen mess” at organizations00:12:56 – The grief and resentment beneath generational tension00:14:19 – Gen Z’s impact on workplace culture00:15:16 – Why exhaustion became a measure of excellence00:16:20 – How workplaces promote burnout and reward dysfunction00:18:55 – Steps to unlearning burnout and redefining success00:20:58 – Closing thoughts and embracing grace over grit00:22:19 – How to connect with Tess Brigham and continue the conversationSubscribe to Gen Mess with Tess for more insights and strategies on bridging generational gaps and building workplaces where everyone thrives!

What if your quest for love is actually a quest for safety?In this eye-opening solo episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," host Tess Brigham dives deep into the messy reality behind the hit TV show Love is Blind—and reveals the uncomfortable truth: the show isn’t just a high-drama dating experiment, it's a mirror reflecting how we all perform, protect, and hide in our own relationships.Tess explores why so many of us crave genuine connection but run from vulnerability, and how the performative world of swiping, texting, and social media shapes our fears of rejection and being truly seen. She breaks down unforgettable examples from Love is Blind—from avoiding tough conversations to sabotaging intimacy—and connects these moments to universal patterns we all share.Key highlights include:Why our brains treat emotional risks like physical danger, and how that keeps us from authentic love.The real reason modern dating feels so numb and disconnected (hint: it’s not just the dating apps).Insightful stories from Love is Blind Season 9, like Allie’s struggle with Anton’s drinking and Madison & Joe’s emotional dance, showcasing how vulnerability—and our defenses against it—play out in real time.Practical advice on “micro-vulnerability” and how you can slowly build emotional self-trust in your own life.A fresh perspective on why courage in love doesn’t look glamorous, but is absolutely essential.If you’ve ever caught yourself performing instead of connecting, or wondered why intimacy can feel so terrifying, Tess’s honest reflections and actionable tips will help you see your own patterns, and maybe, just maybe, get braver.Timestamped Overview:[00:00:00] Welcome & introduction: Unpacking the theme “Love is Blind... and so are we”[00:01:02] The age of performative connection and the craving for safety[00:02:46] How Love is Blind reflects our relationship reality & defenses[00:04:11] Vulnerability versus connection: Fear of exposure in modern love[00:05:02] Case studies: Avoidance, self-protection, and emotional risk in past seasons[00:06:31] Emotional risks, self-protection, and conversation avoidance (Allie & Anton)[00:07:06] What real courage in relationships looks like (via Brene Brown)[00:07:42] The speed of modern dating vs. our emotional capacity[00:08:09] Emotional regulation, micro-vulnerability, and building real trust[00:09:00] Madison & Joe: A case of protecting instead of connecting[00:10:20] Attachment styles, generational patterns, and the impact on love[00:12:17] Pandemic aftermath: Starved for connection, hypersensitive to intimacy[00:13:16] Dating apps as numbing tools—why modern dating feels so hard[00:14:09] The paradox: Control vs. experiencing real love[00:14:50] Why Love is Blind resonates with so many: performative selves vs. longing for connection[00:16:24] How to practice vulnerability: Micro-steps for building emotional trust[00:18:23] What love really asks of us—clarity, bravery, and staying open[00:19:20] The real experiment: Where do you protect instead of connect?[00:20:26] Closing thoughts and encouragement to stay curiousReady to turn the spotlight back on yourself? Hit play and start making sense of your own emotional mess!

What if the secret to unlocking true leadership isn’t about knowing all the answers, but about learning to ask the right questions—especially across generations?In this eye-opening episode of the “Gen Mess with Tess,” host Tess Brigham sits down with powerhouse executive coach Kristi Royse, founder of KLR Consulting, to uncover the real challenges—and unexpected opportunities—leaders face in today’s rapidly shifting workplace. You might be surprised to learn that the biggest workplace problem isn’t generational conflict, but something much sneakier: ignorance and a reluctance to adapt.Tess and Kristi pull back the curtain on why leadership has changed so drastically since Kristi’s early Boston Market days—from command-and-control to flexible, empathic management. Together, they slice through stereotypes about “lazy” young workers and stubborn older bosses, revealing why every generation falls into the trap of judging the next—and how that holds companies back from monumental growth and innovation.Key highlights from this episode include:The shocking stat that in just a few years, most Americans will have a boss younger than themselves—and what that means for workplace dynamics.Kristi’s candid stories about turning tech engineers into inspiring people leaders (plus, just how important real coaching—not checkbox training—can be).Why understanding and embracing generational differences will make your team 49% more innovative (yes, there’s research to prove it).The myth of “work-life balance” for Gen Z and Millennials, and how blending personal and professional lives is reshaping workplace expectations.Whether you’re a CEO, manager, or early-career professional, this episode will challenge your assumptions and equip you with practical tips to create a healthier, more connected, and future-ready workplace. Get ready to make sense of the generational “mess”... and maybe even learn to thrive in it.Timestamped Episode Overview:00:01 – Tess introduces Kristi Royse and her extensive leadership background01:13 – Kristi shares her origin story: from Boston Market COO to leadership consultant02:25 – Night-and-day differences in leadership then and now03:34 – The complex realities of leading five generations at once06:01 – Tess and Kristi discuss fear, assumptions, and resistance to change among leaders08:25 – Generational stereotypes: Why every young cohort gets accused of being “lazy”09:48 – Coaching leaders to communicate and collaborate across generational divides11:02 – The pitfalls of promoting technical stars to management without support12:54 – Case study: Transforming engineers at Strava into people leaders14:09 – Gen Z and the new meaning of work-life blend15:26 – Building trust: How real conversations and vulnerability build stronger teams18:00 – Younger vs. older generations: What key assumptions are holding us back?20:17 – How to invest in employees—even if you fear they might leave22:03 – Simple, actionable ways managers can support every direct report23:27 – Overcoming resistance: Why the “it’s too much work” excuse falls flat26:28 – Kristi on the greatest workplace struggle: ignorance and culture clashes29:30 – Coaching, courage, and patience: The real keys to personal and company growth40:02 – Doing meaningful work: When passion and purpose trump the paycheck43:52 – Kristi’s positive spin: The generational “mess” is actually the best opportunity of our time47:49 – Where to find Kristi’s work & resources for leaders ready to do betterListen in and discover how you can turn generational tension into your organization’s biggest asset!