The Gadfly Talks

This episode is a little different. I share a personal reflection on crossing invisible thresholds, tapering Zoloft, and learning to meet existential dread not as breakdown, but as initiation. Through memories of fear, medication, spiritual seeking, and the slow return of raw aliveness, this episode explores what it means to stand at the edge of the void and listen for what it has to say.I cover: • How tapering Zoloft is bringing me back to the edge of fear, meaning, and spiritual initiation. • The history of antidepressants and their role in emotional processing • What happens when medication falls away and the deeper questions return: fear, aliveness, and the threshold of initiation.Chapters:00:00 Crossing Invisible Thresholds05:25 Experiencing the Edge of Reality07:14 The Evolution of Psychopharmacology09:30 The Cultural Shift in Mental Health12:02 Tapering Off Medication: A Personal Journey14:55 Embracing the Void: A New Perspective17:27 The Process of Tapering and Its Challenges20:17 Finding Meaning in the Void

This episode features Kristen Ulmer, a former world-famous extreme skier once celebrated as the "most fearless woman" in her sport. She shares how her perceived fearlessness was actually an unconscious, high-risk "love affair with fear." After retiring, she reflected on what her career taught her, leading her to coach others on how to embrace their fear rather than resist it.About Kristen Ulmer:Former professional extreme skier, named the most fearless woman athlete in North America.Spent 12 years as the best woman big-mountain extreme skier, starring in films and pioneering first descents.High-performance facilitator and thought leader on fear and anxiety.Long-time student of Zen and a voice dialogue facilitator.Author of The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead.Topics:From a meek, shy kid to a world-famous extreme danger athlete.Her "love affair with fear": addiction to adrenaline and feeling intensely alive.The turning point: retiring and realizing she didn't understand fear.Fear as a person living in your body: shifting from resistance to relationship.What "intimacy with fear" actually feels like in the body.Flow states, extreme sports, and why the best danger athletes relate to fear differently.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Fear and Kristen Ulmer's Journey03:43 The Relationship Between Fear and Anxiety06:45 From Unconscious to Conscious: Kristen's Athletic Career08:25 The Love Affair with Fear11:24 The Message: Embracing Fear Instead of Conquering It14:05 The Transition to Teaching and Facilitating17:06 Secrets of High-Performance Athletes19:38 Understanding Intimacy with Fear22:31 Resistance vs. Intimacy: The Key to Flow25:02 Practical Advice for Managing Panic and Anxiety28:02 The Nature of Fear and Its Manifestations30:17 Rethinking Mental Health: The War on Fear31:43 Levels of Dealing with Fear: From Resistance to Intimacy36:09 Embracing Fear: The Path to Intimacy39:03 The Role of Trauma in Anxiety Disorders41:09 Zen Influence: Handling Fear in Life and Sports45:16 Choosing to Embrace Fear in Sports and Life52:29 The Control of Thoughts and Positivity53:29 Rethinking Anxiety Management54:51 The Cost of Resistance57:44 The Domino Effect of Fear01:00:09 Intimacy with Emotions01:03:02 Navigating Fear and Control01:04:53 The Spiritual Component of Fear01:13:47 Embracing Fear as a Messenger

Dr. Eric Goodman is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias. He shares his own history with two major phobias (public speaking and flying) he later treated using exposure principles.We dive into what fear and anxiety really are, why they so often feel irrational, and how we can relate to them more skillfully instead of trying to get rid of them. Instead of chasing “anxiety‑free” promises, we explore how curiosity, humility, and shared stories can help us live well with fear while still moving toward what matters. If you’re someone who has tried to logic your way out of fear, or who feels like anxiety means you’re broken rather than deeply human, this conversation is for you.About Dr. Eric GoodmanClinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobiasLecturer in the psychology department at California Polytechnic State University (Cal Poly) with a private practice in San Luis Obispo, CaliforniaAuthor of:The Mindful Freak‑Out: A Rescue Manual for Being at Your Best When Life Is at Its WorstYour Anxiety Beast and You: A Compassionate Guide for Living in an Increasingly Anxious WorldSocial Courage: Coping and Thriving with the Reality of Social AnxietyTopicsEric’s personal journey through public‑speaking fear and a severe flying phobiaWhat exposure therapy really is, and why it must be done without safety behaviorsSafety behaviors vs. compulsions, and how they keep anxiety stuckThe “big, dopey guard dog” metaphor for anxietyHunter‑gatherer nervous systems in a modern, always‑on worldSocial media, news, and the rise of generalized anxietyExistential dread: death anxiety, fear of hell, and spiritual abuseLearning to tolerate uncertainty and live alongside fear“We hurt where we care”: anxiety around work, creativity, and relationshipsChapters00:00 Introduction to Fear and Anxiety03:14 Personal Experiences with Fear08:07 Understanding Phobias and Safety Behaviors14:53 The Language of the Nervous System21:24 Modern Anxiety in a Digital World27:48 Existential Dread and Coping Mechanisms33:55 Spirituality, Fear, and Healing36:39 Cultural Messages About Fear37:31 Understanding Anxiety: A Natural Part of Life42:45 The Role of Mindfulness in Managing Anxiety45:06 When Anxiety Becomes Detrimental48:57 Facing Fears: The Path to Overcoming Anxiety53:18 The Wisdom of Fear: Navigating Life's Threats57:22 The Dual Nature of Fear: Protection vs. Paralysis01:01:18 Reframing Fear: From Pain to Power01:05:26 Practical Steps for Managing Anxiety01:07:12 Understanding Anxiety as a Protective Mechanism01:08:11 Fear: A Companion in Modern Life

In 4th century Athens, a man was put to death for “corrupting the youth.” What made Socrates so dangerous wasn’t radical sermons or manifestos. It was something much simpler: he asked questions.He almost never offered his own answers. Instead, he asked the kind of childlike questions that seem innocent at first, then slowly unravel what we think is obvious. The more people tried to defend their beliefs, the more those beliefs slipped through their fingers—until frustration, even rage, bubbled up where certainty used to be.Socrates wasn’t just threatening people’s status or power. He was threatening their sense of who they were — how they made meaning, justified their choices, and kept their deepest fears at bay. Because when we really start asking questions, we’re pushed into a liminal space: the place of not‑knowing. And as a species, we’re not very comfortable there.That space can feel like a void. But a void can also be a womb — the birthplace of all possibility. A teacher of mine once said, “I don’t know is God’s true name.” That’s the spirit of this show.This is The Gadfly Talks, a podcast where we practice that dangerous but innocent curiosity together. Each episode, we set aside easy answers and ask the questions we’re not supposed to ask — about mental health, meaning, power, and what it really means to be human. By stripping away what we think we know, we move closer to what Taoism calls “the uncarved block”: a state of deconditioning, vulnerability, and authenticity. Maybe, like children wondering at the obvious, we can rediscover our shared humanity — if none of us really knows, maybe we’re all in the same boat after all.If you’re tired of hot takes and hungry for honest questions, hit follow and join the conversation. Welcome to the podcast where — we think, therefore we ask.