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Obligation Is the Enemy of Freedom: Why Gaining Back Your Time Is Your Biggest Point of Leverage
This episode is for the high‑achieving woman who looks successful on paper but feels secretly exhausted behind the scenes.
If you’re managing everything, holding it all together, and carrying a level of responsibility in your business that never seems to let up, I want to name something boldly: obligation is the enemy of freedom.
In this episode, I unpack how invisible obligation keeps women trapped in the role of the doer, even at higher levels of success. I share why what once helped you build your business can become the very thing that limits your freedom, growth, and quality of life.
We talk about how obligation disguises itself as you being “responsible,” “reliable,” or “a good leader,” and why that identity eventually becomes a cage. I walk you through the shifts I’ve made in my own life and business to move from overfunctioning and burnout into a more resourced, visionary way of leading, one that allows me to take 14+ weeks off from the business obligations (and how you can too).
This is an invitation to stop white‑knuckling your way through success and start structuring your business and life around what is truly sacred.
You didn’t build your business to live inside other people’s urgencies. You built it for freedom.
In This Episode:
- Why obligation quietly replaces freedom at higher levels of success (00:00–02:13)
- How responsibility turns into a trap that keeps you in the doer role (02:13–03:12)
- The three most valuable resources women fail to protect (03:12–04:12)
- Why canceling your own sacred time fuels burnout (04:12–07:39)
- The truth about availability, boundaries, and entitlement to your time (05:21–06:35)
- How I restructured my calendar to lead as a well‑resourced CEO (07:39–09:57)
- Why everything becomes negotiable when nothing is sacred (09:57–11:23)
- Letting go of the martyr identity to scale with peace (11:23–13:59)
- The identity shift from indispensable doer to visionary leader (15:10–16:18)
- What freedom actually means at seven figures and beyond (16:18–17:26)
Inspired Actions:
✨ Identify where obligation is still running your calendar or decisions
✨ Name what time, energy, or presence is truly sacred to you
✨ Stop equating availability with worth or leadership
✨ Choose one boundary this week that protects your thinking or creative time
✨ If you’re ready to scale without obligation and reclaim your freedom, apply for a Get Acquainted Call with me at boldheart.com/call
Freedom isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you choose, structure, and defend.
And you’re allowed to want it.
Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures?
- Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/
- The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/
- Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coach
- Join me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/events
- Need a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.com
- Watch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-film
Continue the Conversation:
- Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefred
- Instagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusiness
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/fabienne
- LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredrickson
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
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83. Borrow My Belief in You: How to Stretch Your Identity to Reach Your Next Level
17:16||Ep. 83This episode is for the woman who’s already accomplished so much… but still feels stuck under an invisible ceiling she can’t seem to break through.You might be at six figures or even 7 figures, managing your team, and outwardly thriving but deep down, something in you still questions whether you’re “that woman.” The one who gets to make seven figures or more. The one who lives in overflow. The one who doesn’t have to hustle to prove her worth.If that’s you, I want to offer you something: my belief in you.In this episode, I speak directly to the tender place inside you that wonders if you’re really made for more and I show you how to stretch your identity, rewire old beliefs, and borrow the vision I hold for you until you can hold it for yourself. Even if we haven’t met yet, I do believe in you. And I will never stop believing in your ability and worthiness. Because success isn’t just about strategy. It’s also, in large part, about self-image. And when you shift how you see yourself, and what you believe to be true for you, everything changes.In This Episode:The invisible ceilings we internalize from childhood (03:01–06:47)Why success still feels unrealistic (08:11–09:08)Rewiring your nervous system to normalize seven figures (09:08–10:09)The power of belief, mentorship, and identity expansion (11:24–13:27)What happens when you borrow belief from someone who’s walked the path (14:35–15:46)Why miracles become your new normal (15:46–17:03)Inspired Actions:✨ Ask yourself: What identity am I still clinging to that no longer serves me? And where did it come from? ✨ Notice where doubt is keeping you small✨ Let someone else’s belief lift you until you feel it for yourself✨ Apply for a free Get Acquainted Call to explore what’s possible: www.boldheart.com/call✨ Want to experience this shift in person? Apply to join me in Paris this April for my intimate 2-day transformational event, The Freedom Framework: www.boldheart.com/eventsYou don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you were never meant to.Let me hold the vision until you can fully claim it. You were made for so much more.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
82. “They Won’t Do It Like I Do”: Healing the Delegation Wound So You Can Scale
23:46||Ep. 82This episode is for the high-achieving woman who still feels like she has to carry it all because no one else can do it quite like she does. You know you need to delegate much more, but somewhere deep down, letting go still feels unsafe.If that’s you, I want to name something gently but clearly: you may be carrying what I call a “delegation wound.”In this episode, I unpack the deeper reasons why so many women leaders struggle to let go, even when their calendar is full, their business is growing, and their soul is craving more ease. I explain how past experiences shape our nervous system, how control becomes a trauma response, and how the fear of being let down keeps you stuck in overfunctioning.You’ll hear what it takes to shift your identity from being the one who rescues everything… to being the woman who leads with vision, trust, and systems that hold her.Because you can’t scale a business (or a life) you’re still white-knuckling.In This Episode:Why we cling to doing it all ourselves (01:58–03:59)The hidden cost of micromanaging (03:59–04:57)What makes delegation feel unsafe (06:06–07:02)How control becomes a nervous system default (09:17–11:10)Shifting from rescuer to well-resourced leader (12:27–15:48)The identity shift required for sustainable growth (18:06–19:02)A loving invitation to lead differently (19:02–20:39)Inspired Actions:✨ Ask yourself: where am I still gripping out of fear?✨ Name what you’re afraid might happen if you fully let go✨ Reframe: letting go isn’t losing control, it’s gaining freedom✨ If you’re ready to lead differently and scale without overfunctioning, apply for a free Get Acquainted Call with me to discuss this further: www.boldheart.com/call✨ And if you’d like to apply to join me live in Paris for my two day Freedom Framework event, happening April 20–21, details and application are at www.boldheart.com/eventsYou don’t need to do it all to lead powerfully.Let this be the moment you begin to let go and rise.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/callParis? Yes! Apply to chat with me for 15 minutes about my event in Paris: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
81. The Hidden Addiction to Struggle: Why Ease Feels Uncomfortable (and How to Rewire It)
19:12||Ep. 81This episode is for the high-achieving woman who feels uncomfortable when there’s nothing to do, and can’t stop pushing, even when she doesn’t need to anymore. The calendar is clear. But instead of resting, she fills the space.If that’s you, I want to name something gently but truthfully: you might actually be addicted to struggle, through no fault of your own.In this episode, I unpack what I call “struggle energy”, that invisible pull toward over-functioning, overbooking, overdelivering, long after it’s necessary. I explain how this pattern gets wired into your nervous system, how it becomes tied to your identity, and why success or downtime actually starts to feel uncomfortable without stress.You’ll hear what I believe causes this addiction to urgency, the dopamine hit you get from chaos, and the anxiety that often comes with white space in your schedule.Most importantly, I will show you how to unwind it so you can actually enjoy what I call Seven Figure Freedom (the name of my upcoming book) and what I guide the women who choose to work with me to achieve.In This Episode:Why ease feels unsafe even when success arrives (00:00–02:13)How productivity becomes a dopamine addiction (04:03–06:11)Signs you’re addicted to struggle energy (07:13–09:05)What it takes to detox from the “doer” identity (09:05–11:15)How ease creates vision, creativity, and flow (12:21–13:21)What success looks like when you stop white-knuckling (14:24–15:20)Why rewriting your identity is the gateway to more income and joy (15:20–18:04)Inspired Actions:✨ Notice where you’re recreating chaos out of habit✨ Practice sitting with white space without guilt✨ Set boundaries that protect your energy and creativity✨ Choose one way to embody ease this week, even if that means taking a nap in the middle of the workday (can you imagine??) ✨ Apply for a free Get Acquainted Call with me to connect with me and map out your next level: www.boldheart.com/callYou don’t need to earn your rest. You’re allowed to feel good while you grow. Let ease be your new standard.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
80. From Overwhelmed to a Half-Million Dollar Practice: The Inner Work Behind Claire Dowdle Cina’s Success
41:42||Ep. 80This episode is for the woman who feels like she’s doing all the “right” things in her business but still isn’t growing the way she wants to. Maybe you’re building a team, juggling life with young kids, and doing your best to scale… but you secretly feel like you’re winging it. Or worse, that it’s all about to fall apart. Please know that this is through no fault of your own, and not only is it totally fixable, once we fix certain elements, you can scale to half a million (or more) relatively quickly, like Claire did. In this candid conversation with psychologist and Boldheart graduate Claire Dowdle, we unpack the moment she went from “I’m organized, but lost” to leading a thriving half-million dollar group practice, all while raising two small children.But this isn’t just about hiring or systems. It’s also about identity, self-worth, visibility, and why growing your business will always ask you to grow you from within, and do the inner work.If you’ve been playing small, undercharging, or white-knuckling through self-doubt, this episode will help you reframe what it really takes to scale with sanity and soul.In This Episode:Claire’s turning point: from confusion and trial-and-error to clarity and strategy (01:37–04:50)Why growth without groundedness leads to burnout (04:50–08:52)The three Boldheart pillars that changed everything (09:23–12:54)Identity shifts and inner work as the true path to expansion (13:06–21:25)Healing visibility wounds and claiming space as a thought leader (19:44–22:21)The deeper cost of people-pleasing and undercharging (28:00–30:55)The parallel between entrepreneurship and deep personal healing (30:55–33:11)Claire’s revenue leap and how she’s starting a second business with confidence (38:01–41:39)Inspired Actions:✨ Ask yourself: what would a woman who values her time do differently today?✨ Challenge any belief that success means doing it all alone.✨ If visibility triggers fear, explore what parts of you need healing or support.✨ If you are curious about how I can help you grow your business and reclaim your time, you can apply for one of the few spots I provide each month to speak during a free Get Acquainted Call. Just answer a few questions here: www.boldheart.com/callClaire is living proof that you don’t need to do it all alone and you don’t have to choose between motherhood, impact, and income. If you want to connect with Claire, visit: https://clairedowdlecina.com/Are you curious about the program that got Claire these results? The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachGet The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/Join me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
78. What You Believe Shapes What You Receive with Diana Pagano
38:41||Ep. 78What if the biggest thing keeping you from success is something you don’t even know is there?In this episode, I sit down with Diana Pagano, international keynote speaker, coach, and author of The More Mindset, to talk about the invisible beliefs that shape your results and how to break free from the ones that are holding you back.If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s doing “all the right things” but still hitting a plateau… this conversation is for you.Diana and I explore the real reason willpower alone won’t work, how your environment and early experiences shape your beliefs, and why changing your thoughts is not about positive thinking, it’s about aligning with who you were always meant to become.In This Episode:What happens when you over-rely on willpower instead of mindset (14:18–15:24)How early childhood shapes the way you experience money, success, and visibility (19:38–21:00)Why you attract what you believe, not what you want (36:22–37:04)Diana’s personal story of breaking out of survival mode and reclaiming her power (25:14–27:52)The practice of “changing the channel” to shift your frequency and get back into alignment (37:45–40:47)Inspired Actions:✨ Reflect on the beliefs you picked up before age 7✨ Notice when “realism” is actually fear or protection✨ Practice catching and redirecting negative self-talk✨ Start each day with a clear intention and grounded gratitude✨ Ask: “What would I want if I knew anything was possible?”Connect with Diana:Get her book The More MindsetLearn more at DianaPagano.comLet this episode be your reminder that you can rewire your mind and when you do, everything changes.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
77. You Don’t Win a Medal for Doing It All: My Viral Post and What It Really Means
29:38||Ep. 77This episode is for the woman who’s doing everything running the business, managing all the things at home, carrying the invisible load and still feels like she’s falling short.In this fiery episode (have you seen me get on my soap box yet?) I’m sharing the personal story behind my viral reel I made about the benefits of having a personal assistant to help you at home, the intense backlash it received, and what the conversation is really about. Spoiler: it’s not so much about privilege. It’s about societal expectations that are burning women out.If you’ve ever felt you would be called lazy, selfish for not wanting to be responsible for ALL things things, or you’ve felt guilty for wanting help at home, this is your permission slip.I’m naming the double standards, challenging the “good woman” myth, and reminding you that you don’t need to be exhausted to be worthy.Getting support (both at work and at home) isn’t weakness, it's a strategy. And you deserve it… at home and in your business.In This Episode:The post that went viral and why it hit a nerve (00:15–02:36)The double standards around help and success (02:37–05:27)The invisible labor we carry as women and why it matters (05:28–11:55)Reclaiming your time, energy, and joy without guilt (12:52–16:57)Why you can’t scale from depletion and what to do instead (18:04–21:12)A call to reject the burnout badge and claim your own version of support (21:13–25:49)What it really means to be a Boldheart (25:50–30:04)Inspired Actions:✨ Make a list of everything you do in a week. What drains you?✨ Circle the tasks someone else could do. Start delegating — even just one.✨ Challenge the belief that rest = weakness.✨ Would you like to connect with me personally? Apply for a coveted Get Acquainted Call with me: www.boldheart.com/callYou don’t get extra points for being the most exhausted woman in the room.There’s a better way and it starts with you choosing yourself.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
76. Structure Sets You Free: Why Your Feminine Energy Needs A Container.
17:21||Ep. 76If you’ve been in my world for a while, you know this about me: I am not a fan of hustle culture. I don’t believe in glorifying burnout, constant busyness, or the “no pain, no gain” mentality. I know you want to grow your business and earn abundantly, but not at the expense of your body, your family, your joy, or your feminine energy. You want success that feels nourishing, sustainable, and aligned, impact without self-sacrifice.In this week’s episode of The Fabienne Show, I talk about something that’s deeply misunderstood in the feminine business world: structure. Flow and intuition are sacred, but flow without structure turns into chaos, not freedom. In this episode, I share a powerful reframe: structure sets you free. Not rigid, soul-crushing structure, but supportive structure, the kind that holds your feminine energy the way riverbanks hold water. We explore why the absence of structure keeps you overwhelmed and stuck, and how intentional systems, boundaries, and processes create more spaciousness, help you stop being the bottleneck, and allow you to finally step into the CEO seat with ease and confidence. Whether you’ve resisted structure in the past or simply want to feel more held, this episode will bring some insights.In This Episode:Why structure isn’t restriction — it’s liberation (00:01–03:22)How feminine energy thrives with the right container (03:23–05:40)Real-life examples of sacred systems and boundaries (05:41–08:49)Why SOPs are the secret to buying back your time (08:50–09:59)The invisible cost of not having structure (10:00–12:26)A new belief that can change everything (12:27–13:35)How the women in Boldheart work less and earn more (13:36–14:52)Your next-level CEO reflection questions (14:53–18:15)Inspired Actions:✨ Ask: Where in my business am I still essential for everything to work?✨ Reframe: Structure is how I honor my feminine energy.✨ Decide: What support system would give me more time, peace, and growth?✨ Apply for a free Get Acquainted Call and receive your customized roadmap to 7 figures with freedom: www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachStructure isn’t the opposite of flow. It’s the path to it. Let it hold you, so you can rise.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson
75. When Is It Going to Be About Me? How to Stop Living for Everyone Else
20:02||Ep. 75This episode is for the woman who feels like she’s holding everything and everyone together… but quietly wondering, “When is it going to be my turn? When’s it going to be about what I want”You’ve built the business. You show up for your family. You hold it down for your team. You say yes, even when your soul wants to say no. And somewhere along the way, you’ve started to feel like you’re disappearing from your own life.In this deeply honest episode, I’m naming the thing so many high-achieving women feel but rarely say: self-abandonment in the name of being “good.” I walk you through the fears that come up when we start to prioritize ourselves and the freedom that’s waiting on the other side.You’ll hear why choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s strategic. For your joy but also for your business.And it starts with one bold move: choosing yourself today. Again. And again.In This Episode:What happens when we overfunction at home and in business (00:01–03:27)Why the martyr pattern is so common among high-achieving women (03:28–05:30)The sacred moment that shifts everything (06:41–08:45)The cost of self-abandonment—and how your body keeps the score (10:03–11:10)How choosing yourself transforms your relationships and your business (12:23–14:29)Why your business needs you in the visionary seat—not the doer seat (15:35–17:52)What changes when you start creating from joy instead of obligation (17:53–19:00)A powerful reflection to reclaim your voice and your worth (19:01–22:04)Inspired Actions:✨ Ask: Where have I been living for others, in life or business?✨ Name what you’re tolerating and where you’ve been shrinking✨ Take one bold step to honor what you want this week✨ Ready to stop doing this alone? Book a free Get Acquainted Call: www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachYou’re not here to live for everyone else’s joy. You’re here to be fully, powerfully, unapologetically YOU. And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.Would you like to work with me to accomplish this while you scale to 7-figures? Get The Book - www.boldheart.com/the-leveraged-business/book/The Boldheart website for the business coaching that will scale your business to 7-figures with freedom and heart - https://boldheart.com/Apply to have a free Get Acquainted Call with me: a free Exploratory Session www.boldheart.com/talk-to-coachJoin me for my next event: https://boldheart.com/eventsNeed a roadmap? Take the Free Business Assessment - www.leveraged.boldheart.comWatch The Film - www.boldheart.com/the-filmContinue the Conversation:Instagram (personal) www.instagram.com/fabiennefredInstagram (Boldheart I The Leveraged Business)- www.instagram.com/theleveragedbusinessFacebook: www.facebook.com/fabienneLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/fabiennefredrickson/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabiennefredricksonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@FabienneFredrickson