Share
The Daily Stoic
When Something Breaks
Ep. 117
•
If a close friend had their home broken into, you’d comfort them and tell them that it was only stuff that had been stolen. If your child broke their favorite toy, you’d tell them that these things happen and try to get them to play with something else. If a waiter spilled on your friend, you’d calm them down by saying it was an accident. Basically, when stuff happens to other people, we’re able to see it clearly with some perspective and some detachment.
But when our stuff breaks or is lost, it’s always so much different. It’s suddenly a tragedy, or worse, a deliberate misdeed that has been wrongly inflicted upon us. I lost so much. But I really loved that toy. You ruined my favorite shirt. You meant to do that. We take it personally, because it is personal--it happened to us.
And then we’re miserable.
That’s why the Stoics try to practice detachment. Not in the sense that they don’t love other people or that they avoid relationships or possessions, but in the sense that when something happens to one of those things, they try to see it with some perspective. Epictetus points out how when someone we know loses a loved one, we can say, “that’s just life.” But when we lose a loved one, it’s suddenly, “Poor me!” And yet it is fundamentally the same event. We’ve just decided to indulge the more severe judgment--the one that doesn’t bring back the person we grieved, and only makes us feel terrible.
Epictetus’s advice when we get upset is to remember how we feel when we hear it has happened to someone else. We care, sure, but not so much that it deeply distresses us. We’re empathetic but unbroken. We’re calm, we’re collected, we understand.
And then, we move on.
More episodes
View all episodes
The Past Is a Lie | Would Ryan Holiday Ever Run for Office?
13:36|We are lucky to live in this moment, however flawed.📚 Grab signed copies of Steven’s books at The Painted Porch: The ArcadianTurning ProPut Your Ass Where Your Heart Wants To BeThe War of ArtThe Daily PressfieldThe Warrior EthosA Man At ArmsGates of Fire The Virtues of WarFollow Steven on Instagram | @steven_pressfield Check out more of his work on his website: https://stevenpressfield.com/🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.The Past Is Looking Brighter All The Time
16:35|Seneca talked about how we need to ‘choose ourselves a Cato,’ a standard to measure ourselves against.📚 Learn more about Cato in Lives of the Stoics by Ryan Holiday🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.
The Truth About Banned Books (And Why It Matters)
19:09|Book banning isn't a thing of the past. The impulse to restrict what people can read, think, and question is as old as history itself. And just because you disagree with a book doesn't mean someone else shouldn't be allowed to read it.Got a banned book at home? Send it our way 👉 Address: 912 Main St. Bastrop, TX 78602Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ4ljMIRh6k
Robert Greene & Ryan Holiday: The Secret To A Great Apprenticeship
20:31|Twenty years ago, Robert Greene took a chance on a young college dropout named Ryan Holiday. In this episode, Ryan sits down with Robert, bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and his new book The Law of the Sublime , to reflect on the power of apprenticeship, the lessons that shaped his career, the mistakes that nearly derailed it, and what it takes to learn from someone great.Preorder The Law of the Sublime by Robert Greene | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/the-law-of-the-sublime?_pos=13&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rGrab signed copies of Robert Greene’s books at The Painted Porch: The 48 Laws of Power | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/48-laws-of-power-signed?_pos=4&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rThe Laws of Human Nature | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/laws-of-human-nature-copy?_pos=2&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rMastery | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/mastery-signed-by-robert-greene?_pos=3&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rThe 33 Strategies of War | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/33-strategies-of-war-signed-by-robert-greene?_pos=5&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rThe Art of Seduction | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/art-of-seduction-signed-by-robert-greene?_pos=6&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rThe Daily Laws: 366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/the-daily-laws-366-meditations-on-power-seduction-mastery-strategy-and-human-nature-copy?_pos=7&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rThe 50th Law | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/50th-law-signed-by-robert-greene?_pos=10&_sid=e0d7a8c03&_ss=rFollow Robert GreeneInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/robertgreeneofficial/?hl=enX | https://x.com/RobertGreeneYouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@RobertGreeneOfficial🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.True Freedom Requires This | Two Tasks
06:11|The Stoics also believed that wisdom is something we have to work for—not something we’re given. It didn’t matter if you were a slave like Epictetus or groomed for the throne like Marcus Aurelius—wisdom was still something you had to earn.The new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.
BONUS | Ezra Frech Before Dancing with the Stars
53:36|You might be watching Ezra Frech on Dancing with the Stars right now, but there's a lot more to his story than what you see on TV. For today's bonus episode, we're bringing back Ryan's conversation with the Paralympic gold medalist, recorded before he joined the show.The new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.How Much Have You Changed? | Proof That Stoicism Can Change Your Life
16:07|Wouldn’t it be crazy if all that change had happened, but we were still doing the same things, still stagnant? We cannot go on being the person we’ve always been, Marcus writes in Meditations. We cannot remain as we are, Socrates said.If these stories have inspired you to share your journey with Stoicism, please email an audio recording to podcast@dailystoic.com for the chance to be featured on a future episode!The new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.10 Stoic Lessons It Took Ryan 10 Years to Understand
21:14|Ten years after publishing The Daily Stoic, Ryan shares what he’s learned, what he missed, and what he sees differently now.The new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail--Stop online threats before they become real-world attacks. Visit ironwall.com/DAILYSTOIC and request a free Risk Assessment to see exactly how exposed your executives are.This Was The Difference (and it makes ALL the difference)
02:03|Marcus Aurelius and his son Commodus shared the same DNA. They, like all fathers and sons, probably shared some of the same tendencies and weaknesses. So how did they turn out so differently?🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail