Share
The Daily Dad
They Feel Bad Enough Already
It happened again. Your kid screwed up. They did something stupid—from drawing on the walls to getting caught drinking. They hurt someone or they lied. They failed a test or broke something important. You’re pissed. You want to yell.
But before we do that, stop and think: Have you raised a good kid? Have you taught them right from wrong? Have you taught them to care about other people and the truth?
Yes, yes you have.
Now ask yourself: Does yelling teach them these things more? Does getting upset re-emphasize what is right and what is wrong, or does it just reinforce the power dynamic between you two? Does yelling make them hear you more...or tune you out completely?
More to the point, if you’ve raised a good kid, do you really think they did that on purpose? Don’t you think they already feel bad? In fact, wouldn’t a calm discussion about the difference between who you know they are and what the statement their behavior has made be a far louder and clearer discussion than yelling ever could be? Remember as you’re getting upset that you’re not just dealing with the situation at hand but you are also showing your kids how adults should act when things go wrong—you are teaching them lessons that will impact how they treat their employees and their own children in the future.
Keep that in mind… and calm down. Be understanding. Talk, don’t yell. Let their own conscience—the one you have worked so hard to help them develop—do most of the heavy lifting. Let them learn to see the error in their own ways, let them learn how to learn from their mistakes.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
More episodes
View all episodes
BONUS: 5 Quick Parenting Reminders You Need to Hear
05:42|Your kids are doing their job by being kids, but are you doing yours?Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearIs It Your Marriage or Your Situation? | Angela Duckworth
10:28|The way your family acts under stress can start to look like who they really are. In today's episode, psychologist Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit and author of the new book Situated talks to Ryan about mistaking a hard season for a bad marriage, how stress affects the way we judge each other, why kids need the same reminders over and over, and how small changes at home can bring out our best.Pick up signed copies of Angela’s new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, and her bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perserverance at The Painted Porch | https://www.thepaintedporch.com/Learn more about Angela Duckworth's new book here: https://www.angeladuckworth.com/situatedAngela Duckworth’s Website: https://www.angeladuckworth.com/Follow Angela on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelalduckworth/Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearSomeday You’ll Want Them To Ask You For Stuff
02:48|Even if it’s frustrating now, even if it drives you crazy every time you’re at the store with them, take a second to remember this...Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearLet Them Learn
03:02|We have to make them understand that they have what it takes to do this on their own and if they don’t, the best way to get it is to develop it by experience, by curiosity and exploration. Our Luctor Et Emergo Medallion will help you remember to slow down and take advantage of teachable moments with your children. Grab your Luctor Et Emergo Medallion at our Daily Dad store!Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearYou Don’t Need The Third Thing
02:08|Praise is always nice, but it’s sort of pathetic how desperately we want it…for doing our job. Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearDon’t Let The Wall Win
02:03|There’s a wall—a wall between you and your feelings, a wall between you and other people, a wall between you and this present moment.Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearNot Everyone Can Afford This (But You Can)
02:18|You could choose to be around more. You just won’t. You could choose to be more active, more aware, more involved…Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearDid Our Wedding Vows Cover the Goats?
13:32|Ryan says he didn’t sign up for goats in the house, but Sam has the wedding vows to prove otherwise. Between looking back on ten years of The Daily Stoic and debating which animals belong in the house, Ryan and Sam occasionally remember what they were supposed to be talking about.The new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first yearDon’t Wish Away A Minute of Their Life
02:15|Don’t wish it away, no matter how frustrating this phase or this bedtime or this age is. 📚 Book mentiond: Travels with EpicurusThe new 10th Anniversary Edition of The Daily Stoic is out NOW! 👉 Grab your copy here: https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/the-daily-stoic-10Give yourself the ultimate gift of parenting tools, structure, and community. Join The Daily Dad Society here: https://dailydad.com/society✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTubeProtect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/dailydad or use code DAILYDAD and get 40% off your first year