The messaging, input and culture around women's bodies is horrid, toxic and mean.&nbsp; As humans, we naturally internalise that and turn it on ourselves, hoping that if we improve and get better, the problem will go away.&nbsp;&nbsp;But this is an abuse, and like any toxic, abusive relationship, the demand for us (the innocent) to change is insatiable, and the responsibility taken by the other party is nil.&nbsp; What happens is that we become horrid, toxic and mean to ourselves.&nbsp;&nbsp; But let's stop.&nbsp;Let's use our skin as the barrier.&nbsp;All that toxic messaging can stay on the external.&nbsp;Let's make our internal worlds places of safety, love and compassion.I have created "From Insecurity to Body Confidence, A Self-compassionate" to guide you.&nbsp;&nbsp; Check it out here https://nicole-mathieson.thinkific.com/courses/Insecurity-to-body-confidence About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyloadGet the course nicole-mathieson.thinkific.com/courses/Insecurity-to-body-confidence

When the beauty message gets harsh, get kind

We all go through life transitions, from one phase or stage of life to another. These days most of us are barely aware of the passing of stages but centuries ago our ancestors and still today in trobal cultures around the world, these transitions were marked with ceremony and reverance to herald in these new qualities, capacities and new wisdom gathered as we passed from one stage to the next. My guest today on the Beauty Load podcast is Sarah Durham Wilson. Sarah is a feminine rites of passage mentor and she is helping us reconnect to the archetypal transitions as a way of helping women move from the wounded maiden to the mature feminine. And oh my, does this have a lot to do with the Beauty Load. As Sarah shares, patriarchy has encouraged the pursuit of perfection, and as maidens we can become stuck in the insatiable quest to be validated. Whereas, the mature feminine validates herself.Join Sarah and I in this episode, as we unpack the gifts of this transition from Maiden to Mother, which is the title of Sarah's recently published book with Sounds True.This is actually Sarah's 2nd appearance on my podcast. She was first a guest back in 2016 with the episode named "you can't keep a good witch down", back when my podcast was named Unbreakable. You can listen to it <a href="shows.acast.com/relationship-smart-women/episodes/62f3a2634c87a60012c0dcfd" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here.</a> About Sarah Durham Wilson&nbsp;Sarah Durham Wilson midwives women from the wounded, patriarchalized feminine across the bridge to the archetypal Mother, or mature feminine. Before her service to the Goddess, she was a rock journalist in New York City, beginning with an internship at&nbsp;Rolling Stone&nbsp;and culminating as an editor at&nbsp;Interview&nbsp;magazine. She now lives on Martha’s Vineyard. Where to find SarahInstagram @sarahofmagdaleneWebsite themotherspirit.com/sarahofmagdaleneBooks soundstrue.com/products/maiden-to-mother About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

The maiden needs saving, the mother saves herself with feminine rites mentor, Sarah Durham Wilson

My guest on this episode of the Beauty Load podcast is Dr Anita Vandyke, a qualified rocket scientist and medical Dr who has put on yet another hat, as an Instagram influencer over on @rocket_science where she channels her passion for sustainability and zero waste living.&nbsp;​Anita has written 2 books&nbsp;A Zero Waste Life and A Zero Waste Family. Highly recommend.But As you will hear, Anita wasn’t always a minimalist – in fact she says in her early twenties she was a stiletto shoe wearing, designer bag chasing maximalist! She lived a life of excess, thinking that material goods would lead to happiness, but surprise surprise, it didn't!&nbsp;&nbsp;I only mentioned the environmental impacts of beauty related consumerism and fast fashion a tiny bit in my book despite it being something I am personally passionate about. So, I am so grateful to be able to explore the topic and share this conversation with Anita. I hope you find a spark of inspiration in this chat to edge a little closer to zero waste for you. There is trigger warning on this episode. Anita tragically lost her husband earlier in 2022, the year we recorded the episode. We talk about this loss in our conversation. Where to find AnitaInstagram @rocket_scienceWebsite www.anitavandyke.com/Books www.anitavandyke.com/books About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

Beauty Maximalist to beauty minimalist 

My guest on this episode is my friend, author, mentor, healer and way shower, Kris Franken. Kris is a spiritual teacher who has a background in psychology as well as in the magazine publishing world and is the author of 2 books and creator of multiple oracle card sets. One of the reasons that I really wanted to share her with you and get her wisdom into the Beauty Load is that Kris is having a deep love affair with mother earth – her take on beauty comes from a place of being deeply deeply connected in the experience of living in her body as a spiritual being in amongst nature and the miracle of life.In this episode, Kris shares her take on the Beauty Load and how the whole concept of beauty that we are exposed to in the mainstream is an illusion that we can choose not to partake in. She shares a beautiful practice with us and guides us how to come back to ourselves, our wild and free in just being who we are Where to find KrisCheck Kris out on Instagram @kris_frankenKris has her second book Wild hearted purpose coming out really soon and if you pre-order before Feb 8th, which is publication day, you will receive a bundle of goodness just for being awesome. All details are at:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.krisfranken.com/wildheartedpurpose/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.krisfranken.com/wildheartedpurpose/</a>&nbsp;And here is her website: krisfranken.com About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

True Beauty beyond the illusion with Kris Franken

My guest on this episode of the Beauty Load podcast is model with curves, Caitlin Robertson.As a little girl Caitlin always wanted to be a model, she loved dancing and posing and was always trying to be photographed, but she was a bigger bodied girl, so she thought her dream could not possibly come true. But now, thanks to a shift in diversity and the trail blazer models who went before her, Caitlin finds herself joyfully doing the job of her dreams. I couldn’t wait to interview Catilin, because I wanted to hear how you can become confident and comfortable enough in this world obsessed with a certain ideal of beauty, aka a thin one and be different to that. Caitlin and I talk about the importance of representation, diet culture, fitting sizes (or not) and the behind the scenes reality of modelling.Enjoy.&nbsp; More about CaitlinCaitlin Robertson is a model with Bella Management AustraliaYou can find her on Instagram @caitlin_robertson__ About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

Curvy beauty with model Caitlin Robertson

8. The scale and heirarchy of privilege serves none of us with Louise O'ReillyI know for myself that the Beauty Load has kicked my butt. It has been and still is a "journey" let's say, to come to accept my body and beauty. And I also know that this is in the context of my privilege. Today's guest is helping me and all of us get our heads around our privilege, whiteness and this scale, the heirarchy that kicks all of our butts and serves none of us. In this episode we talk about;<ul><li>Louise's work as an inclusivity and diversity coach and what her inspired this work.</li><li>The politics of appearance and beauty</li><li>Why we fear the dismantling of oppression</li><li>How we can be good/better allies</li><li>How more acceptance and less judgement towards ourselves is creating a better world for marginalised people</li><li>AWhat a vision of the world looks like without discrimination</li></ul> More about Louise O'Reilly Louise offers inclusion, diversity and anti-racism coaching and mentoring for entrepreneurs and business owners who are comfortable being coached through the power of the feminine energy.The oppressive status quo is something Louise refuses to swallow. This mumma-bear won’t stop until she’s changed the world for her babies. With her unique self-expression, heart-centred rebelliousness, and clarity of her vision of the inclusive world we could be enjoying. It’s no wonder Louise is an inclusion, diversity, equity &amp; allyship coach, mentor and course creator for heart-centered &amp; socially-conscious entrepreneurs.&nbsp;&nbsp; Louise is a Warrwa-Noongar Aboriginal woman who focuses on cultural inclusion, diversity and anti-racism work for entrepreneurs. Offering the Inclusion Creators Collective membership. It’s filled with courses, live trainings, group coaching and more.&nbsp; Website louiseoreilly.com.au/Instagram @louise.oreilly.shieldandconch/Courses louise-oreilly.thinkific.com/ About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

The scale and heirarchy of privilege serves none of us with Louise O'Reilly

In this episode I chat with disability and inclusion advocate Lisa Cox. At the age of 24, Lisa had a sudden brain haemorrhage in Melbourne airport one morning. Lisa nearly died, nearly had all of her limbs amputated and had to learn to move, speak and eat again. What I love about speaking to Lisa is that this experience has filled her with perspective and fuelled her with passion for life and for her mission to change the way pop culture represents those who do not fit the able and ideal standards portrayed in the media. About LisaLisa Cox is a fierce, passionate disability advocate who wants to disrupt the way disability is represented in popular culture by fusing her professional background in writing, advertising, media, branding and communications with her acquired disabilities. Lisa is a vocal advocate for change with a solutions-focused approach. She has collaborated with peak bodies, national and international groups plus individuals who share her vision for real results. Changing social attitudes, stopping stereotypes and altering the narrative around disability is what fuels Lisa’s mission to muse, educate, challenge convention and create tangible change in the way disability is represented in mainstream popular culture. Where to find Lisawebsite www.lisacox.co/aboutInstagram @lisacox.co&nbsp;About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

Love what your body CAN do with disability advocate Lisa Cox

In this episode I chat with anthropologist, Mair Underwood who specialises in studying the culture of bodies. After this chat, I honestly want to go back to uni and study anthropology! It is just fascinating. Mair tells us about her research into the world of body building and what she experienced in relation to her own body image as a result of 'dipping her toe' into that world. Mair also gives me a lifelong aha / validation moment in regards to women's struggles with femininity and breast size. About MairMair Underwood is an anthropologist of the body and lecturer in the School of Social Science at the University of Queensland. She is passionate about understanding body practices and the relationships people have with their bodies. Her research has focussed on body-self relations at different ages, tattooing, and bodybuilding. In recent years she has been focussed on bodybuilding and image and performance enhancing drug use, which led to interests in performances of masculinity, and muscle dysmorphia. Where to find MairContactEmail:&nbsp;<a href="mailto:thinkingaboutbodies@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thinkingaboutbodies@gmail.com</a>YouTube:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCij9-ENJ2Uimwylm7UMhhWw" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Body of thoughts</a>&nbsp;About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

Intense focus on appearance is a problem with anthropologist Mair Underwood

There are few moments in a woman's life in which her relationship with her body is catalysed into change more potent than the journey into motherhood. The media and instagram tell us of women bouncing back to their pre baby body, but is this real and is it necessary? In this episode I speak to matrescence expert, leader and activist Amy Taylor-Kabbaz about the pressures of matrescence and where it overlaps with the pressure to always look good, aka the Beauty Load. Amy shares some of the struggles she has observed and some beautiful rituals and tools she has shared with the women in her communities. Amy is passionate, fired up and a wealth of knowledge in this area and we dive deep into this topic. About Amy&nbsp;Amy Taylor-Kabbaz is a Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Journalist, Matrescence Activist and&nbsp; Mama of three. After more than a decade covering breaking news and current affairs for the ABC around the country, her 'traditional' career took an unexpected turn when she found herself lost, overwhelmed and diagnosed with a thyroid condition after the birth of her first daughter.&nbsp; 14 years - and two more babies - later, she is now the best-selling Hay House author of Mama Rising, the host of the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/happy-mama-movement-amy-taylor/id1203707859" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">‘The Happy Mama Movement’ podcast</a> (with more than 400,000 downloads), an internationally awarded Life Coach and runs numerous online programs for mothers all over the world, expert contributor to media outlets around the globe. Where to find Amywebsite - amytaylorkabbaz.comHappy Mama podcast with Nicole as guest- amytaylorkabbaz.com/captivate-podcast/211Instagram - instagram.com/amytaylorkabbaz About NicoleNicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.In the therapy room, Nicole sees the Beauty Load doing its self-esteem-stealing damage inreal time as she helps her clients grapple with not feeling good enough to love.&nbsp;By sharing her own awkward stories and negative self-talk, Nicole inspires a deep exhaleof recognition from her clients and readers alike, who, for possibly the first time, realise theyare not alone, not crazy and absolutely not inadequate.&nbsp;The Beauty Load is Nicole’s first book. About the BookDo you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, and feeling likeyou don’t measure up?This is the Beauty Load in action, and here’s the thing: it’s not personal, in factit is inevitable in this world obsessed with beauty.Our personal perception of our beauty, or the lack of it, can make us feel anythingfrom numb to anxious, stressed and ashamed, and at worst like we don’t belong andthat we are not worthy of being loved.&nbsp; In the Beauty Load, counsellor Nicole Mathieson exposes the damaging andunrealistic beauty pressures society places on women, and shares how to lighten theload for good through awareness, self-compassion and a realignment with yourdeepest values.Reclaim your freedom, confidence and self-love. Website nicolemathieson.com/Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

Accepting our mama bodies with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz

Hi, I'm Nicole Mathieson, counsellor, couple therapist and author of <a href="https://nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">the Beauty Load</a>, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.The Beauty Load is what I call the constant stress, anxiety and pressure that most of us feel to always look a certain way, to fit in, and feel worthy or good enough in our bodies. I am going to interview experts, and humans from different cultures and with different experiences of living in their bodies and I hope that along the way, we shed some light on how to minimise the Beauty Load for ourselves, so that we can just get on with living our lives to the fullest.If this interests you, you might want to check out my book The Beauty Load. <a href="https://nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Buy it here</a>. Follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/nicole.mathieson/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">instagram here</a>Get in touch <a href="https://nicolemathieson.com/contact/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here.</a>Check out my website <a href="https://nicolemathieson.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here.</a>

The Beauty Load - How to feel good enough in your body

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