All My Clothes Need Burning

Howard J Ford has stared down a four-ton boulder held up by a single pebble, sat on funeral pots containing the dead while eating lunch, been lifted off his feet by hundreds of people in Burkina Faso, and walked out of a Mississippi murder house that nobody could bring themselves to buy. All in the name of independent filmmaking.Howard J Ford is a British filmmaker, director, and cinematographer whose films include The Dead, Never Let Go, The Ledge, River of Blood, Dark Game, Escape, and Bonekeeper — out now on Prime Video & Apple TV. His new action thriller Zipwire is heading to Cannes, and if his track record is anything to go by, it won't be long before it lands on your streaming service of choice.Why filming Bonekeeper in real caves in Wales and Herefordshire meant learning to light absolute darknessThe Burkina Faso incident: filming in a village with no electricity, sitting on pots containing dead relatives, and being swept off his feet by hundreds of people at the end of the shootThe haunted house in Clarksdale, Mississippi, where both Howard and his producer felt something was seriously wrongThe screenplay Howard wrote, which Morgan Freeman once wanted to star inWhy boredom is the starting point for everything — and how every film begins as a blank void before thousands of images and a story slowly emerge from nothingThe cannibal on a bicycle who stayed to watch the shoot — and why he was laughingConnect with Howard here:InstagramFacebookFind us on social media — links on the About page.

Something's changed — and it's bigger than just a name.After four seasons as Television Times, the podcast has a new title: All My Clothes Need Burning. Steve explains why the change makes sense, where the title came from, and what Season 5 is going to look like.Why Television Times always felt like a TV listings show to people who'd never heard it — and why that got oldWhere the title All My Clothes Need Burning comes from — and why it was too good to keep in a drawerThe new format: funny stories from the road, the set, the tour bus, and the moments that didn't go to plan — from guests and from Steve himselfFind us on social media — links on the About page.

Paul Critoph returns for the annual TV debrief Paul Critoph is an actor and regular friend of the podcast, joining Steve for the third consecutive end-of-year television review — the one where they figure out which shows they've actually both watched.Why Alien Earth started brilliantly and then made its xenomorphs bulletproof in broad daylight — and why that ruins everythingSquid Game 2 and 3: the hide and seek episode that was genuinely brilliant, the policeman on a boat for far too long, and why the ending made them angry instead of emotionalThe Summer I Turned Pretty — a show aimed at teenage girls that Paul's wife binged entirely while Paul occasionally wandered in to ask who Conrad and Jeremiah wereWhy Andor is the best Star Wars thing since The Empire Strikes Back — and why it's really a show about fascism and how it gets its tendrils into communitiesBlack Mirror's return to form — and why the Bandersnatch multiple-choice situation still annoys SteveThe Bear: essentially someone chopping a radish very slowly while looking moody, for weeks on endConnect with Paul here:InstagramFacebookOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

Steve empties the whiteboard, clears his head, and has an honest conversation about what making this podcast actually feels like from the inside — the burnout, the uncertainty, the ads he hates, and why he's seriously considering living in the woods.This is a bonus solo episode featuring no guest, one very good cup of coffee, and more honesty than most podcasts manage in a full series.A full rundown of every podcast Steve actually listens to — from Memory Lane and Parenting Hell to The Rest Is Politics, Louis Theroux, What Did You Do Yesterday, and why Bill Maher is simultaneously brilliant and infuriatingWhy the end of a season brings on the funk — and what it's like running a podcast entirely solo with no producer, no team, and no idea who's listeningThe comedy character he's been developing in his head for years: a sound engineer with a broken mixing desk, a Mick Hucknall lyric, and a show provisionally titled Knob JokesThe treacherous taxi ride at 3,000 metres in the Bolivian Andes to reach the schoolhouse where Che Guevara was killed — and the song he eventually wrote about itOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

The co-creator of Red Dwarf wrote a number one single in five minutes, turned around a failing Spitting Image, and had his brand new Red Dwarf movie cancelled because it was the BBC's only successful comedy. You couldn't write it. Well, Doug could.Doug Naylor is the co-creator and writer of Red Dwarf, which has run for 12 series and continues to find new audiences decades on. He co-wrote the Chicken Song (number one, 1986), was script editor on Spitting Image, and wrote for Jasper Carrott, Cannon and Ball, Ken Dodd, and numerous others. His children's book Sin Bin Island is the Financial Times Children's Book of the Year.The casting sessions where Alan Rickman, Hugh Laurie, and Alfred Molina all auditioned — and why Danny John-Jules, half an hour late in his dad's old suit, got the Cat after the very first auditionHow Craig Charles pestered Paul Jackson until he said "just see him to get him off my back" — and why Doug originally didn't like himThe BBC cancelled the new Red Dwarf movie because it was the only successful comedy they commissionedThe fake Duke of Manchester, who offered £12 million, sent a fax with his bank balance Tipp-Exed out and the amount typed in — and was later sent to prisonConnect with Doug here:FacebookinstagramOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

Two lads from the North East of England built props that ended up purchased by Disney for actual Mandalorian productions — and they're still not entirely sure how to feel about it.Luke and Paul from Orbital FX are a North East-based practical effects and prop-making team whose work spans Star Wars replica props, Marvel productions, Disney theme parks and events, including a full-size Millennium Falcon build and components used in the Ant-Man quantum experience filmed at Pinewood.Why Lucasfilm's relationship with its fan community is completely unlike anything else in Hollywood — and what George Lucas apparently told Disney when they bought Star WarsThe story of restoring the original Boba Fett blaster from The Empire Strikes Back in five days Why making props for convention costumers is actually harder than making them for films How the carbon fibre Darth Vader helmet came about — and why cutting 40% of the weight is, apparently, a genuine game changerThe day Steve introduced himself to George Lucas at a bankrupt Fashion Café in London with broken speakers, dodgy lights, and a Tandy mixerWhy practical effects never really went away — and how Star Wars single-handedly reinvigorated an entire generation of model makers and creature shopsConnect with Orbital FX here:InstagramFacebookWebsiteOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

Olaf Falafel gaslit his own mother into believing she had a serious wind problem using a remote-control fart machine with a subwoofer — and has somehow turned that energy into an award-winning career in children's books and stand-up.Olaf Falafel is a comedian, illustrator, and author known for his Edinburgh Fringe shows, the Dave Funniest Joke at the Fringe 2019, and children's books including Old MacDonald Heard a Fart, Poo on a Pogo Stick, and the Trixie Pickle Art Avenger series. His new graphic novel The Far Out Five is out now, and his family show — Olaf Falafel's Stupidest Super Stupid Show, is currently on tour.Why comedians make better children's authors than celebrities — and why the crossover is more natural than the publishing industry admitsThe origin of Old MacDonald Heard a Fart — how singing it on the school run with his daughters turned into an actual book dealHow to achieve the perfect duck fart Why winning the Dave Funniest Joke at the Fringe brought death threats Why Lost is the show he'd erase from history — and the years he spent downloading it on Limewire before the ending stole everything backWhat it means to draw 200-page graphic novels while watching Liam Neeson films as background noise — and why Taken is genuinely one of his favourite moviesConnect with Olaf here:InstagramYoutubeOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

Henry Naylor spent years travelling the world making Barclaycard ads with Rowan Atkinson, gave Ben Miller his first comedy gig, wrote the first ever Tony Blair sketch on British television, and is now taking a play about Elton John's battle with the Sun newspaper to New York. And he can do a very good Scooby Doo.Henry Naylor is a playwright, writer and comedian whose credits include Spitting Image, Dead Ringers, the 3D animated sketch show Head Cases, and multiple Fringe First-winning plays. His play Monstering The Rocketman — about Elton John and Britain's largest ever libel settlement — sold out Edinburgh, has a London run and is heading to New York.How 17 Barclaycard commercials took him to Bora Bora, Luxor, Sardinia and Elba — and what it was like to watch Rowan Atkinson go from recognisable to A-lister in real timeHow he gave Ben Miller his first comedy gig at university — and how he felt when Ben's agent rang up about the Johnny English movieWriting the first Tony Blair sketch for Spitting Image when nobody knew anything about himWhy the Jeffrey Archer puppet was deliberately withheldHead Cases: the 3D animated sketch show that had DreamWorks calling, but was cancelled when ITV nearly went bankruptConnect with Henry here:InstagramFacebookOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.

Stephen Mear CBE has choreographed for Broadway, the West End, the Royal Albert Hall, Rhys Ifans in an Oasis video, a dancing dog-head Goldfrapp video, and Victoria Wood's Christmas specials — and he only found out he was dyslexic somewhere in the middle of all of it.Stephen Mear CBE is one of the UK's most celebrated choreographers and directors, with credits spanning five Broadway shows, multiple West End productions including Mary Poppins, Chess, Sunset Boulevard, and Shoes, television work with Victoria Wood, and a decades-long career that has taken him from Sheffield to LA to the Metropolitan Opera.What it was like opening The Little Mermaid on Broadway with the New York press already against Disney before a single rehearsalHow he got Rhys Ifans through the entire Oasis All Around the World video by standing next to him and counting throughoutThe Goldfrapp dog-head video — why the heads could only turn certain ways, and why the whole thing would take ten minutes with AI nowWhat it was like getting the cast back on stage at the Royal Albert Hall for the first post-COVID show — everyone drenched in sweat behind masks, praying nobody rang in sickMiriam Margolies discussing OnlyFans around the dinner table — and why she is the funniest person in any room she walks intoConnect with Stephen here:InstagramFacebookOriginally released under the podcast's former name: Television Times.Find us on social media — links on the About page.