Talking Sense with Dr Martha

We often talk about bullying from the point of view of the victim, but what of the children who engage in bullying behaviour? This conversation can be confronting because it means deconstructing the narrative that child who bully are 'bad kids' and it means we need to look inwards - at ourselves, the adults who are around children - to consider what messages our words and actions are giving children, and explore with compassion what may be going on for a child who chooses to engage in bullying behaviour. Dr Martha sensitively walks you through this offering you ideas to guide your next steps to hopefully prevent bullying or stop it in its tracks.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).

As a parent there are going to be times when you lose it, shout, say things you don't mean or put in actions you regret. This doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you human. In these moments, repairing the relationship with your child is the step you need to take. But how do you do this when they are little and when they get older? What if your child doesn't seem to respond or even acknowledge your apology? What do you need to be mindful of and what work might you need to do to make repair a meaningful act, not just saying the words "I am sorry"? Dr Martha talks you through this with scripts, developmental science about children and things to reflect on to guide you next time.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).

As a parent it is normal to want your child to be happy and have positive experiences. And one of the hardest things to learn is that you cannot make your child happy, and fixing their feelings is not your job. Dr Martha speaks about emotion to help you make sense of what your child means when they say "I feel sad", how to work with the emotion rather than trying to fix it or remove it, and the things to watch out for if sadness is getting stuck around your child and it's not longer a temporary emotion but low mood impacting on their quality of life.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).

We don't tend to talk about little ones' sexual behaviour. As adults we may find this is wrong or perverse, and yet there is a difference between 'sexual behaviour' that comes from curiosity and exploration and 'sexualised behaviour' with an intention for sex. Children are born wanting to explore the world and learning about their bodies is a part of it. When it comes to little ones masturbating this conversation is often taboo, can feel embarrassing or bring shame to adults. And yet - it is healthy and natural for children to explore their own bodies. There are however some 'red flags' to be aware of to differentiate developmentally appropriate behaviour from something that may need further professional guidance and support. Dr Martha talks about all these topics with sensitivity towards you, the adult navigating these situations, and appropriate developmental understanding of your child, to guide you to think about ways to set safe boundaries and explore conversations around privacy, consent, and safeguarding.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).The NSPCC "Pantosaurus" song I discuss on the podcast is linked below:https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/pants-underwear-rule/Three of my favourite books on sex and bodies are linked below. For a full list of recommended books see: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/recommended-booksSex is a Funny Word: https://amzn.eu/d/a318aYnLet's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect: https://amzn.eu/d/dluyo04Making a Baby: https://amzn.eu/d/bd8D6Rd

With technology literally in our pockets it is no surprise children have access to porn easily. How can you talk about porn to your child in a way that is age appropriate and helpful rather than scary and shaming? Dr Martha talks you through some ideas of how to begin he conversation with your child, whether you have found they have watched porn or you want to prepare and educate them about it. Some of the guidance and ideas are to help you feel prepared and confident and small reminders that what you choose to talk about (and what you choose not to...) has a ripple effect into your child's future.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).Learn more about the course and sign up here: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/the-course

Do you have to repeat instructions to your child? Does it make moments throughout your day frustrating, such as mornings or evenings? If you have ever heard yourself say "please hang your coat up" more than 20 times (with no success in your child following through with this action), then this podcast is for you! Dr Martha discusses why older children struggle listening and following through with instructions and what you can do to make your requests more effective and less frustrating for all.Pre-order my first book 'How To Be The Grown Up' here:https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first. No money gets taken out of your bank account until the day the book is launched.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).Learn more about the course and sign up here: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/the-course

To punish or not to punish, that is the question. In a society that continues to ask us to 'control our kids', it makes sense that punishments feel familiar, nearly instinctive to offer as a strategy for 'good discipline'. Dr Martha talks about punishments, the good the bad and the ugly, and the evidence base around their effectiveness. She offers non-judgmental ideas around punishment and explains why to be an effective parent making children feel bad first is not the most useful way.My first book ‘How To Be The Grown Up’ is available NOW for preorder here: https://bit.ly/HowtoBetheGrownUpAMZPre-orders are a ‘promise’ between you and me - that I will deliver a book that I think you will love and find useful, and you will support me by promising to buy it first.The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).Learn more about the course and sign up here: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/the-course

We all want children to strive to. do their best. When we catch a glimpse of perfectionism we may think it's a 'good thing', that it will motivate them to push forwards towards a goal. However, if you spot the 'critical voice' that accompanies perfectionism that tells your child they are 'bad' at anything they can't do or when they make a mistake, then it may be time to look at perfectionism in a different way. Dr Martha talks about what perfectionism is (and is not) and how you can shrink its power over your child and offers actionable strategies you can put into place for you and for your child. The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).Learn more about the course and sign up here: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/the-course

Children sometimes want to quit doing things and knowing when to encourage them to persist and when to support them to keep going can feel like a tricky balance. Dr Martha offers a reframe on the idea of 'quitting' and guides you through some of the talking points that can help both you and your child come to a decision based on curiosity, understanding and problem solving. The Confident Parent course is out! Do you have, or look after, children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old? The Confident Parent is a practical, video-based course for parents and caregivers from Clinical Psychologist Dr Martha. Over eighty 3-6 minute videos to guide you through the main challenges of the early years (including sibling rivalry).Learn more about the course and sign up here: https://www.drmarthapsychologist.com/the-course