Stories, Half-Truths and Outright Lies from the World's Ugliest Couch

Episode 12 – Full Circle (12/4/97)Summary: In this, the final installment of Destiny Always Rings Twice…Sometimes, our star, Danny, has finally found his calling. Now a star, it’s time for Newt to report to his boss. Can he take Danny back like this, or will Newt’s new-found alliance with Dot be needed? The ending of this episode came as a surprise to everyone – even the writer!Cast:Danny………Hoss PetersonNewt……..David HardestyDot Period……..Kerri HaydenCabbie……..David SettleGod……….Dr. Michael BrownBruce……….Bill ReddicksNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Sexy Spaghetti” (Kerri Hayden, Hoss Peterson)        “Reverend Braunschweiger” (Hoss Peterson, Dr. Michael Brown)

Episode 11 – A Date With Destiny (11/24/97)Summary: After innumerable failures, our heroes are about to give up. Suddenly, a chance encounter with a TV talk show gives them new-found hope. Can daytime talk show television boost our hero to the levels of superstardom? What does Bruce have to say?Cast:Danny………Hoss PetersonNewt………David HardestyDot Period………Kerri HaydenCabbie………David SettleReceptionist………Sara CarterMatthew James……..David SettleStage Manager………Sara CarterBruce………Bill ReddicksSecurity………David SettleNarrator……..Hoss PetersonAds: “S.S.S.S. – Oxymorons” (Dr. Michael Brown, Hoss Peterson)        “Crazy Bob’s Used Cars” (Bill Reddicks, Hoss Peterson)

 Episode 10 – The Election (10/21/97)Summary: Now back in the US, the gang decides that running for public office would make the most sense to get someone famous. Can Danny capitalize on his smarts to defeat his opponents, or will some crazy plot twist pop up to ruin the plan?Cast:Danny………Hoss PetersonNewt………David HardestyDot Period………Kerri HaydenDebate Moderator……..David SettleBetty Nelson……….Kyle KoskieBruce………Bill ReddicksAnnouncer……….David SettleSecurity……….Kyle KoskieNarrator………Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Thanksgiving Dinner” (Kerri Hayden, Hoss Peterson)       “Hooked On Dirty Dr. Seuss” (Hoss Peterson, Kyle Koskie)

Episode 9 – The Return (9/15/97)Summary: Season Two begins with our heroes stranded in India, with no way to get back home. Dot pulls some strings and gets them back to the States, and Danny has a reunion with his long-lost father (played by my actual father, Herb)Cast:Dot Period………..Kerri HaydenDanny……….Hoss PetersonNewt……….David HardestyBartender………Charlie RoundsCabbie 1……….Charlie RoundsCabbie 2………Charlie RoundsDad……….Herb PetersonBruce……….Bill ReddicksSecurity……….Scott AllenEMT……….Charlie RoundsNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Records – Hillbilly Love Songs” (Hoss Peterson, Bill Reddicks)        “Pirffo Job Finders – Mafia” (Hoss Peterson, Charlie Rounds, Scott Allen)

Episode 8 – The Quest (5/2/97)Summary: In this, the final episode of Season One, our team is dealing with their repeated failures. They decide to go on a spirit quest to help refocus their energy. As you might imagine, this trip also meets with failure. It was a good place to pause for summer break…Cast:Danny……….Hoss PetersonSecurity……….Darrel McKameyNewt……….David HardestyDot Period……….Kerri HaydenStewardess……….Shawna WakefieldPilot……….Charlie RoundsBruce………Bill ReddicksBartender……….Charlie RoundsNarrator………Hoss PetersonAds: “Psychotic Friends Network” (Darrel McKamey, Shawna Wakefield, Hoss Peterson)       “1001 Breakup Excuses” (Charlie Rounds, Kerri Hayden, John Gabrielsen, Hoss Peterson)

Episode 7 – ‘Rasslemania (4/25/97)Summary: In an alcohol-induced brainstorm, Newt decides to get Danny involved in the world of professional wrestling. What could possibly go wrong? In what has always been one of the favorite episodes of D.A.R.T.S, we prove that anything can, and does, go wrong.             (**Note** In a failure of epic proportions, I neglected to let Kerri Hayden know about the recording date for this episode. For that reason, the part of Dot Period was read by Loretta Howieson instead. Loretta did a great job, but I always cringe when I hear a different voice for Dot)Cast:Danny……….Hoss PetersonSecurity……….Darrel McKameyNewt……….David HardestyDot Period……….Loretta HowiesonStu DeBaker……….David SettleNick O’Rick……….John GabrielsenBruce……….Bill ReddicksNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Wedding Counselors” (Hoss Peterson, Bill Reddicks, Darrel McKamey)       “Gubba Bump Noodle Company” (John Gabrielsen, Hoss Peterson)

Episode 6 – Vega$ (3/28/97)Summary: What happens when you turn loose Danny and Newt in Sin City? Newt discovers he, too, has a hidden talent, but his taste for tequila wins. Can Dot save her man?Cast:Newt………David HardestyDanny……….Hoss PetersonDot Period………Kerri HaydenRadio DJ……….Brad EnziSecurity………Darrel McKameyChange Girl……….Shawna WakefieldBlackjack Dealer……….David SettlePit Boss……….Brad EnziBruce……….Bill ReddicksNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Takea, Themuny and Runn” (Hoss Peterson)        “1-800-Hot-Chess” (Keri DeVries, Hoss Peterson)

Episode 5 – The Audition (3/21/97)Summary: Now back on familiar ground, the crew decides that in order to get really famous, you have to go to the star-making factory that is Hollywood. Let’s see if Danny is cut out for the moviesCast:Danny……….Hoss PetersonNewt……….David HardestyBiker Chick……….Solveig FugelstadDot Period……….Kerri HaydenHot Dog Vendor………Bill ReddicksHooker……….Shawna WakefieldSecurity……….Darrel McKameyDirector……….Darrel McKameyBruce……….Bill ReddicksNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Mystery Meat” (Bill Reddicks, Darrel McKamey, Kerri Hayden, Hoss Peterson)        “Grandma Betty’s Home For Wayward Girls” (Hoss Peterson, Shawna Wakefield)

Episode 4 – The Safari (3/14/97)Summary: Danny and the usual cast of characters decide to move their attempts to Africa, in hopes of capturing the last remaining pair of blue-knuckled gazelles. It works about as well as you would imagine. Cast:Danny……….Hoss PetersonWaitress……….Loretta HowiesonNewt………David HardestyT.V. Voice……….Shawna WakefieldBruce……….Bill ReddicksDot Period……….Kerri HaydenStewardess……….Shawna WakefieldCabbie……….David SettleReceptionist……….Solveig FugelstadDirector……….Darrel McKameyChuck……….David SettleGame Warden……….Darrel McKameyNarrator……….Hoss PetersonAds: “Pirffo Records – Rock and Raunch With Barney” (Hoss Peterson)        “Pirffo Films – Attack Of The Graduate Assistant” (Hoss Peterson)