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Spinning Plates with Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Episode 83: Philippa Perry
Philippa Perry is a psychotherapist, artist and writer who has a weekly agony aunt column in the Observer. She has written the only book on parenting that I feel speaks to me, and that I recommend to other people. It's called: 'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will be Glad That You Did)'. Her big messages are that talking to your children about feelings is key, and that all feelings are acceptable, so don't shut them down. I agreed with her when she said: how well you get on with people is more important than how well you do in your GCSEs.
I met up with Philippa (and her mischievous cat Kevin) in mid December at the beautiful Georgian house she shares with her husband, the recently knighted artist, Sir Grayson Perry. We sat in their living room with the fire going, and part way through the conversation she pointed out that the fireplace is a stucco art piece about fertility, made by Philippa herself, when she was trying to get pregnant. 31 years on their daughter Flo, also an artist, has recently illustrated Philippa's graphic novel 'Couch Fiction', about the world of psychotherapy.
Philippa shared how, as a child, her nanny had been her most signifiant other, but when she was sent to boarding school aged 4 she never saw her again, which deeply upset her. This experience impacted Philippa's style of parenting, and she didn't want any outside help, retraining as a psychotherapist when her daughter was 18 months old, and only working while her daughter was at school.
Today she divides her time between writing and art. She talked about how exciting it is to have, as Virginia Woolf described, a room of one's own, dedicated to creating art.
We talked about teaching children to communicate, and when we touched on the subject of sibling rivalry, Philippa got me to do some role-play with her. She showed me how getting the children to brainstorm, to solve a dispute, is so much better than a parent taking what they think is a short cut, and deciding how a quarrel should be resolved. I learned a lot. And at the end of our incredibly informative and helpful chat, I had a proposition for her: "How do you feel about moving into our house for a while...just for a few years...to observe and help us sort everything out...?! Kevin can come too!"
Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones
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180. Episode 180:Helen Dukes
01:08:29||Season 18, Ep. 180Helen Dukes is an entrepreneur and DJ, and mum to 2 daughters, 11 year old Anya and 19 year old Lottie . She is the founder of Disko Kids, a clothes and accessories brand that I love for its roots in music, festivals, sparkles and fun. It also has at its heart a deep connection with charities such as Winston’s Wish. This child bereavement charity helped Helen navigate the death of her partner Ade when their daughter Lottie was just 3. Helen told me how she strove to create video memories of Ade for Lottie, which was very hard for Ade at the time, but which Lottie really appreciates now, aged 19.We talked about being a female founder and the passion for her business that has kept her going throughout the past 10 years. Helen says that Disko Kids is like her third child - frustrating at times but she loves it to bits. I know that feeling all too well! Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
179. Episode 179: Anna Lunoe
01:10:10||Season 18, Ep. 179Anna Lunoe is an Australian DJ, singer, songwriter and producer. She lived and worked in LA for 8 years, performing at festivals such as Coachella.She’s now back in her hometown of Sydney, and has an 8 year old daughter and a 6 year old son and I caught up with her after she’d spent the night in Sydney Zoo for her son’s birthday. I loved her idea of 2 night reset away, alone, every few months, which she and her husband take turns in doing.Last year Anna released the song ‘Girl’, a collab with Melanie C, another of my inspiring Spinning Plates gals. Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
178. Episode 178: Fran Cutler
01:06:53||Season 18, Ep. 178Fran Cutler is famous for organising wild parties attended by A-listers. Things really took off in the 90s when she started organising parties for Oasis albums with Meg Matthews. She’s a self-confessed technophobe and she’s using this fallow Glastonbury year, to write a memoir which she promises will be both salacious and funny.She brought up her daughter Mercy on her own, after the father left 3 months into her pregnancy. She resolved at that moment to work twice as hard as anyone else to support her daughter who she is super close to, along with her mum, sister and nieces. Fran told me about her dubious claim to fame: projectile vomitting! And she shared her tips for getting rid of problematic party guests. Let’s I hope I never prove to be one of them! Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
177. Episode 177: Jamie Genevieve
01:18:34||Season 18, Ep. 177Jamie Genevieve is a Scottish make up artist and entrepreneur. I follow her on Instagram and am so impressed by the brand she’s launched. Some of her products have now become my make up staples. We talked last month about how she started out as a makeup counter girl, loving demonstrating makeup and selling it, moving onto YouTube herself and then launching her own brand Vieve.Jamie has a little girl called Romy who will be 3 in May, and she revealed to me mid podcast that she has a second baby due in August! Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
176. Episode 176: Nicole Appleton
55:49||Season 18, Ep. 176Nicole Appleton is a singer and a mum to Gene aged 24, and Skipper who is nearly 6. She first came into our lives in the 90s when she and her elder sister Natalie were members of the hugely successful band All Saints. Together, the Appleton sisters have just brought out a new single ‘Falling Into You’ and it’s gorgeous. Very much their classic, warm and optimistic selves. She and I talked about the joy of having children so far apart in age. Nicole said she feels she and her eldest, Gene, grew up together. And with Skipper, who she had at 44, she felt more of a mum.She also talked about how she kept her whole pregnancy with Skipper a complete secret, even from her closest friends. How incredible is that! In all the podcast conversations I’ve had, I think this was the most impressive birth announcement story I’ve ever heard.Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
175. Episode 175: Dawn Williams
01:03:14||Season 18, Ep. 175Dawn Williams is a mum of three and an Olympic weightlifter. She is also a campaigner for exercising throughout cancer treatment to get the best possible chance of recovery. And this is all before we even touch on her full-time job in life sciences. Dawn and I met by chance on a train when I was travelling to a gig. We got talking and I knew I wanted to share her amazing story with you.In the podcast we talk about the way Dawn faced her breast cancer diagnosis, not long after becoming a single mum, how she talked to her children about having breast cancer, and how they supported her and kept a mini fridge and a snack box stocked in her room, for any time she needed to be on her own. Dawn carried on training, and even became stronger throughout her treatment. She also told me about recent research which shows that carrying on exercising may reduce the risk of cancer coming back. Dawn is now cancer-free and trains 5 times a week before coming home to the place she and her children call Team Dawn. Was it the fact that she’s an ex-paramedic or that she has 5 gold medals and can snatch 45 kilos that made me feel very safe in her presence? Either way, I very much did!Here's to more conversations on trains!Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
174. Episode 174: Kelly Rutherford
01:00:57||Season 18, Ep. 174Kelly Rutherford is an American actress probably best known for her starring role in 7 series of Gossip Girl (2007-2012).Kelly's instagram is the most intentional and curated grid I have ever seen, with beautiful quotes interspersed with stylish selfies, many of which are taken in an elevator. It’s very beautiful and peaceful. Kelly has a son Hermes aged 19 and a daughter Helena aged 16, who were subject to a custody battle which their father won. This meant that they have grown up mostly in Monaco where he lives, and where Kelly has therefore spent most of her time, so as to be able to see the children.Kelly has a calm and philosphical air, and we talked about how the greatest gift you can give your children is to be happy. She also said that nothing matters more to her than the love of her children.We also talked about our shared joy of shopping in vintage clothes shops... a quick route to happiness for us both.Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
173. Episode 173: Dr Eliza Filby
01:17:53||Season 18, Ep. 173Dr Eliza Filby is a writer, a generational historian and mum to two children aged 8 and 5.I loved her book ‘Inheritocracy. It’s time to Talk about the Bank of Mum and Dad’ which came out in paperback last year which contains some fascinating stuff about money and the generations of today. We talked about how children often rely on a financial springboard from their parents these days, and how that dependency can make the relationship rarther complicated going forward. We acknowledged that the linear path we were sold in the ‘90s and Noughties - of education, university, buying a house, and then retiring - is now a lie. We also talked about the sandwich generation - people who are looking after their children and their parents at the same time. I shared with Dr Eliza that I once asked one of my sons if he would look after me when I get old. He replied: “Yes. But only for a day or two.”Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.
172. Episode 172: Monisha Rajesh
01:08:07||Season 18, Ep. 172Monisha Rajesh is a travel writer who focuses on train travel adventures.She wrote her first book ‘Around India in 80 Trains’ after being made redundant, and she wrote ‘Around the World in 80 Trains’ just after her first daughter was born. My favourite of all though is Moonlight Express, her most recent book which is all about her experiences on night trains. Monisha is a lovely writer, and I love so many of the pictures she paints of her journeys. One particular favourite is when she is travelling in India and the train door is open to the elements, and hearing the slap of leaves on the side of the train as it trundles along at just above jogging pace. Also I love the descriptions of dining cars. I flipping love a dining car! Monisha talked about taking her two small daughters on train adventures and I feel very inspired to do the same. I hope if I do that I am as brave as she is in imposing a ban on screens for my small people. I want us to look out the window and see all the little worlds going by.Spinning Plates is presented by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, produced by Claire Jones and post-production by Richard Jones.