Why is it so difficult to say sorry? Apologies put a mirror to our actions and can trigger a sense of guilt, shame or even resentment. Yet so often we hear things along the lines of ‘if only you had said sorry, then it would be okay.’ Sometimes we feel better after an apology, often embarrassed; it puts our bad behaviour out there for everyone to see and to judge. Maybe that’s why we’re not very good at it.
But what about the apologies we think we’re owed? The ones we failed to give? What happened to our thoughts and feelings left behind from those broken events.
The harsh truth is that no-one owes us anything, not the person that stole our gameboy on the school bus, not our friend that continues to turn up late and forget our birthday, and not our ex-partners that have walked away from us. So why do we so often feel that we are ‘owed’ an explanation and a ‘proper’ apology, and why can't we say sorry for the things we have done wrong?