Share

cover art for The People Pleaser

Sober Awkward

The People Pleaser

Season 5, Ep. 7

Did you drink to fit in? Is this because you wanted people to like you? Does it matter?


After a few months of getting sober the true you begins to sneak out from under that big safe layer of booze. You begin to question yourself and seek answers as to why you act in the way you do. It's confronting, and very exciting. Finding authenticity and letting go of being a people pleaser are both part of this process.


In this vulnerable episode of Sober Awkward, Vic reveals some of her more extreme people pleasing ways and why she feels being overly friendly can leave her swimming in a mucky pond of disappointment. Whereas Hamish thinks people pleasing is a form of good manners, a need to be kind to others and fit in to society,

Either way, both Vic and Hame see that some of there intricate personality traits often mean they end up missing out on time with thier families. They are way too reliable, can never say no, or are too busy buying gifts for random strangers.


So today, they are both learning on the go, trying to understand their people pleasery and step in to a world in which they no longer care what anyone thinks about them. Sound awkward? Yes! but with a few awful stories, some chat about socks and a barrel of giggles, anything is possible!


Resources

JOIN PATREON! and buy us a Cuppa so we can keep being awkward!

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=81897291

www.cuppa.community – The Free Social Network for the Sober and Sober Curious - Sober Events – Therapy – Sobriety Courses – Sober Groups, Tea and loads more.

Buy Sober Tea! www.cuppashop.com


@soberawkward @drunkmummysobermummy @cuppa.community @hamishadamscairns @patreon

If you are struggling with your relationship with alcohol please reach out to your local doctor, a therapist, AA Group or just chat to a close friend. Don’t feel shame, just get the help you deserve.

Contact us! If you have a topic you’d like us to cover then please email us -vicandhamish@soberawkward.com

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and rate the podcast on iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/sober-awkward/id1565657975

The more people we reach the more people we can help x

#soberawkward #soberawkwardpodcast #drunkmummysobermummy #cuppa.community #sober #sobermom #sobermummy #sobriety #soberaf #sobermovement #sobercurious #alcoholfree #mummybloggers #writersofinsta #soberfamily #greyareadrinking #addiction #soberissexy #soberwomen #sobermomtribe #sobrietyrocks #soberlifestyle #alcoholfreelife #wedorecover #sobernation #mumblog #mentalhealth #motherhood #wineoclock #sobermums #selfcare #womeninrecovery #sobercommunity #soberdads

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

More episodes

View all episodes

  • The Share Shed: Writing Competition Entries

    09:36|
    The Share Shed – Sober Awkward Writing Competition Specials -Finally Meeting Myself - By AllysonEvery Thursday, we’re handing the story telling over to you.Over the next few months, Vic will be reading some of the incredible entries from this year’s Sober Awkward Writing Competition. Honest, funny, heartbreaking, hopeful, awkward and beautifully human, these stories come from people all over the world who have experienced the ups and downs of changing their relationship with alcohol.Whether you’re sober curious, newly alcohol-free, years into recovery, or simply wondering if life might feel better without booze, we hope these stories remind you that you’re not alone.Writing has a powerful way of helping us make sense of our lives. It can shine a light on things we’ve hidden away, help us process difficult experiences, and remind us just how resilient we really are. Plus, it’s considerably cheaper than therapy and doesn’t require you to wear pants.So grab a cuppa, get comfortable, and join us for this week’s Share Shed as Vic tells another story from our amazing community.💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here or head to the website to find out more about writing mentorships with Vic.👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women📞 SUPPORT & RESOURCESIf anything in today’s episode felt familiar, or you’re worried about your drinking, there is support available. You don’t have to do this alone.🇦🇺 AustraliaNational Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline📞 1800 250 015 (24/7)https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/alcohol-and-drug-information-serviceLifeline📞 13 11 14 (24/7)https://www.lifeline.org.auHello Sunday Morning / Daybreakhttps://hellosundaymorning.orghttps://daybreakapp.com.auClean Slate Clinichttps://www.cleanslateclinic.com🇬🇧 United KingdomDrinkline📞 0300 123 1110https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/Alcohol Change UKhttps://alcoholchange.org.ukWe Are With Youhttps://www.wearewithyou.org.uk🌍 InternationalAlcoholics Anonymoushttps://www.aa.orgSMART Recoveryhttps://www.smartrecovery.org💬 A Gentle ReminderIf you’re drinking in the morning to cope, especially with anxiety or withdrawal symptoms, it’s important to speak to a doctor or medical professional. Stopping alcohol suddenly can be unsafe for some people, and getting support can make a huge difference.
  • 1. The Sober Boozers Club with Ben Gibbs

    51:08||Season 14, Ep. 1
    This week on Sober Awkward, Vic chats to Ben Gibbs from The Sober Boozers Club about the rapidly changing world of alcohol-free beer and whether pub culture can survive a generation that’s drinking less, drinking differently, or not drinking at all.Because let’s face it, Vic used to be the kind of customer pubs loved. These days Vic walks into a pub, orders one alcohol-free beer, has a lovely chat, and leaves. Financially speaking, she’s not exactly the customer she used to be.So what does this shift mean for the hospitality industry? Can pubs, breweries and bars survive if people are only ordering one or two drinks instead of six? Is the alcohol-free movement a genuine revolution or just a passing trend? And why are so many younger people choosing not to drink in the first place?Vic and Ben also tackle one of the most debated topics in sobriety: alcohol-free beer. Is it a useful tool or a dangerous game? Should people in early sobriety avoid it altogether? What if it triggers cravings? Why does it work brilliantly for some people and not for others?Most importantly, Ben shares his experience of trying to keep all the things he loved about his old social life, the pub chats, the mates, the laughs, and the sense of belonging, while quietly removing the alcohol from the equation.Turns out, getting sober doesn’t always mean changing your entire personality. Sometimes it just means changing what’s in your glass.A fascinating conversation about identity, friendship, changing drinking culture, and whether the future of the pub might be a lot less boozy than we ever imagined.💛 Resources & LinksFollow and Find out more about Ben here - Ben Gibbs (@sober_boozers_club)📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 https://amzn.asia/d/0aZ69GpKVic's book 'Mumming - A year of Trying (and Failing) to be a better parent - https://amzn.asia/d/0bUJTS2W🎧 Listen to more Sober Awkward episodes👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women
  • The Share Shed: Writing Competition Entries

    09:38|
    The Share Shed – Sober Awkward Writing Competition Specials - Alcohol, Motherhood and Me - By EmilyEvery Thursday, we’re handing the story telling over to you.Over the next few months, Vic will be reading some of the incredible entries from this year’s Sober Awkward Writing Competition. Honest, funny, heartbreaking, hopeful, awkward and beautifully human, these stories come from people all over the world who have experienced the ups and downs of changing their relationship with alcohol.Whether you’re sober curious, newly alcohol-free, years into recovery, or simply wondering if life might feel better without booze, we hope these stories remind you that you’re not alone.Writing has a powerful way of helping us make sense of our lives. It can shine a light on things we’ve hidden away, help us process difficult experiences, and remind us just how resilient we really are. Plus, it’s considerably cheaper than therapy and doesn’t require you to wear pants.So grab a cuppa, get comfortable, and join us for this week’s Share Shed as Vic tells another story from our amazing community.💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here or head to the website to find out more about writing mentorships with Vic.👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women📞 SUPPORT & RESOURCESIf anything in today’s episode felt familiar, or you’re worried about your drinking, there is support available. You don’t have to do this alone.🇦🇺 AustraliaNational Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline📞 1800 250 015 (24/7)https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/alcohol-and-drug-information-serviceLifeline📞 13 11 14 (24/7)https://www.lifeline.org.auHello Sunday Morning / Daybreakhttps://hellosundaymorning.orghttps://daybreakapp.com.auClean Slate Clinichttps://www.cleanslateclinic.com🇬🇧 United KingdomDrinkline📞 0300 123 1110https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/Alcohol Change UKhttps://alcoholchange.org.ukWe Are With Youhttps://www.wearewithyou.org.uk🌍 InternationalAlcoholics Anonymoushttps://www.aa.orgSMART Recoveryhttps://www.smartrecovery.org💬 A Gentle ReminderIf you’re drinking in the morning to cope, especially with anxiety or withdrawal symptoms, it’s important to speak to a doctor or medical professional. Stopping alcohol suddenly can be unsafe for some people, and getting support can make a huge difference.
  • 20. Still Sober, Still Awkward

    55:42||Season 13, Ep. 20
    As a special treat to celebrate the final episode of Series 13, I’m delighted to welcome Hamish back to the podcast for a proper catch-up.Yes, he’s still sober. Yes, he’s still awkward. And yes, he’s still as funny as ever.We chat about what life has looked like since leaving the show, how sobriety is going, and what he’s learned along the way. Hamish is proof that you don’t have to be a stereotypical “problem drinker” to experience the benefits of going alcohol-free. Sometimes life simply gets bigger, better and a whole lot more interesting without booze in the driver’s seat.Expect laughs, awkward moments, a few reflections on the good old days, and a reminder of why so many of us fell in love with the lanky one in the first place.It’s great to have him back.Be warned, as per usual, there is naughty talk about bodily functions. 💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here🎧 Listen to more Sober Awkward episodes👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women
  • The Share Shed: Writing Competition Entries

    07:56|
    The Share Shed – Sober Awkward Writing Competition Specials - No More Numbing Out - By Aliz, TexasEvery Thursday, we’re handing the story telling over to you.Over the next few months, Vic will be reading some of the incredible entries from this year’s Sober Awkward Writing Competition. Honest, funny, heartbreaking, hopeful, awkward and beautifully human, these stories come from people all over the world who have experienced the ups and downs of changing their relationship with alcohol.Whether you’re sober curious, newly alcohol-free, years into recovery, or simply wondering if life might feel better without booze, we hope these stories remind you that you’re not alone.Writing has a powerful way of helping us make sense of our lives. It can shine a light on things we’ve hidden away, help us process difficult experiences, and remind us just how resilient we really are. Plus, it’s considerably cheaper than therapy and doesn’t require you to wear pants.So grab a cuppa, get comfortable, and join us for this week’s Share Shed as Vic tells another story from our amazing community.💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here or head to the website to find out more about writing mentorships with Vic.👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women📞 SUPPORT & RESOURCESIf anything in today’s episode felt familiar, or you’re worried about your drinking, there is support available. You don’t have to do this alone.🇦🇺 AustraliaNational Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline📞 1800 250 015 (24/7)https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/alcohol-and-drug-information-serviceLifeline📞 13 11 14 (24/7)https://www.lifeline.org.auHello Sunday Morning / Daybreakhttps://hellosundaymorning.orghttps://daybreakapp.com.auClean Slate Clinichttps://www.cleanslateclinic.com🇬🇧 United KingdomDrinkline📞 0300 123 1110https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/Alcohol Change UKhttps://alcoholchange.org.ukWe Are With Youhttps://www.wearewithyou.org.uk🌍 InternationalAlcoholics Anonymoushttps://www.aa.orgSMART Recoveryhttps://www.smartrecovery.org💬 A Gentle ReminderIf you’re drinking in the morning to cope, especially with anxiety or withdrawal symptoms, it’s important to speak to a doctor or medical professional. Stopping alcohol suddenly can be unsafe for some people, and getting support can make a huge difference.
  • 19. Nangs: The Addiction Nobody Talks About with Sam Bramman

    37:27||Season 13, Ep. 19
    This week on Sober Awkward, Vic steps away from alcohol to explore another addiction that is quietly growing across Australia: Nangs.Nitrous oxide, often sold legally and delivered to your door within minutes, is commonly seen as harmless party fun. But for Sam Bramman, what started as a few nangs at a house party quickly spiralled into a devastating addiction that led to psychosis, hospitalisation and a long road to recovery.Sam shares the shocking reality of what happened when nitrous oxide took over his life, including the psychotic episode that saw him drive from Sydney to the Gold Coast before ending up in a psychiatric ward. He talks openly about addiction, recovery and why he believes Australia needs stronger regulation around the sale and delivery of nitrous oxide.Now the founder of the No 2 Nangs campaign, Sam is using his experience to educate young people, support families and push for change. He is also preparing to run 350 kilometres from Sydney to Parliament House in Canberra to raise awareness of the issue and campaign for greater public education around a substance he describes as both legal and lethal.It’s an eye-opening conversation about addiction, vulnerability, recovery and a drug many of us know very little about. Follow Sam’s work: Instagram: @sambramman TikTok: @stepsforchange💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here🎧 Listen to more Sober Awkward episodes👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women
  • The Share Shed: Awkward Questions & Confessions

    08:57|
    This week in the Share Shed, one listener wakes up to discover he’d apparently spent 40 minutes running barefoot on a treadmill at 3am… after swimming in a stranger’s pool and blacking out at a party.The only problem? He remembers none of it.A hilarious story with a surprisingly thoughtful twist about sobriety, fitness, and what happens when one obsession gets replaced by another.The Share Shed is where listeners send in their funniest, cringiest and most unbelievable drinking stories. It’s not about judgement, it’s about recognising how wild things could get when alcohol was in charge, and laughing about it now we’re on the other side.But sometimes, it’s also a place for the harder stuff, the honest bits we don’t always say out loud.If you’ve got a story you’d like to get off your chest, funny, awkward or something a bit more serious, you can send it to Vic at:vic@soberawkward.comAnonymous is absolutely fine. In fact, for legal reasons, probably preferable!!📞 SUPPORT & RESOURCESIf anything in today’s Shame Shed felt familiar, or you’re worried about your drinking, there is support out there. You don’t have to do this on your own.🇦🇺 AustraliaNational Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline📞 1800 250 015 (24/7)🌐 https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/alcohol-and-drug-information-serviceLifeline📞 13 11 14 (24/7)🌐 https://www.lifeline.org.auHello Sunday Morning / Daybreak🌐 https://hellosundaymorning.org🌐 https://daybreakapp.com.auClean Slate Clinic🌐 https://www.cleanslateclinic.com🇬🇧 United KingdomDrinkline📞 0300 123 1110🌐 https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/Alcohol Change UK🌐 https://alcoholchange.org.ukWe Are With You🌐 https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk🌍 InternationalAlcoholics Anonymous🌐 https://www.aa.orgSMART Recovery🌐 https://www.smartrecovery.org💬 A gentle reminderIf you’re drinking in the morning to cope, especially with anxiety or withdrawal symptoms, it’s really important to speak to a doctor or medical professional. Stopping suddenly can be unsafe for some people, and support can make a huge difference.
  • 18. Have You Swapped Booze for Scrolling? with TJ Power

    56:21||Season 13, Ep. 18
    This week on Sober Awkward, Vic sits down with TJ Power, a well-known neuroscientist, author of the Sunday Times bestseller The DOSE Effect, and the founder of the DOSE Lab. He is a leading voice in demystifying brain chemistry, focusing on helping people manage digital burnout, phone addiction, and overstimulation in the modern world.TJ shares his own story of changing his relationship with alcohol, including a powerful epiphany at a music festival that made him completely rethink what connection, fun and presence really mean. Together, they explore the surprising similarities between alcohol addiction and phone addiction, and why both are fuelled by the same dopamine-driven reward systems in the brain.The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Vic has a rather uncomfortable realisation of her own. Eight years sober and feeling quite smug about no longer disappearing into bottles of wine, she suddenly discovers she’s been disappearing into something else instead… her phone.In a moment that feels a bit like being caught snogging behind the bike sheds, Vic realises she may be neglecting her children in exactly the same way she used to neglect them with alcohol. Not physically absent, but mentally elsewhere. Half listening. Half scrolling. Forever saying, “Just one second, darling…”It’s a surprisingly emotional moment as TJ explains that the dopamine hits from our phones aren’t a million miles away from the rewards we chase through alcohol, and Vic starts to wonder whether she’s simply swapped one distraction for another.This episode isn’t about throwing your phone in the sea or moving to a cave. It’s about becoming curious about the habits that quietly shape our lives.And make sure you listen right to the end, because Vic returns with a surprising update after attempting her own digital detox weekend.A fascinating conversation that might just make you question your scrolling as much as your drinking.Find TJ here - @tjpower@doselab - Order the book now - https://a.co/d/0fghgGAcwww.thedoselab.com💛 Resources & Links📘 Victoria’s memoir – A Thousand Wasted SundaysA brutally honest and hilarious look at motherhood, anxiety, and ditching the booze.👉 Buy the book here🎧 Listen to more Sober Awkward episodes👉 www.soberawkward.com🫖 Join The Cuppa CommunityOur private, supportive online space for sober folk👉 www.cuppa.community📘 Get the Sober Awkward GuideOur downloadable toolkit for ditching booze the awkward way.👉 The Sober Awkward Guide📱 Follow us for daily sober fun:Instagram: @soberawkwardTikTok: @soberawkwardFacebook: Sober Awkward Community for Women
  • The Share Shed: Awkward Questions & Confessions

    10:47|
    Today on the Share Shed we have one confession and one question.First up, a listener wakes up in Las Vegas with more than just a hangover… let’s just say Elvis may have been involved and somebody accidentally got married.Then we tackle a question many people quietly ask themselves: if your hands shake the morning after drinking, is that a sign you’re an alcoholic?The answer might surprise you.Pour yourself a cuppa and join us for today’s Share Shed.The Share Shed is where listeners send in their funniest, cringiest and most unbelievable drinking stories. It’s not about judgement, it’s about recognising how wild things could get when alcohol was in charge, and laughing about it now we’re on the other side.But sometimes, it’s also a place for the harder stuff, the honest bits we don’t always say out loud.If you’ve got a story you’d like to get off your chest, funny, awkward or something a bit more serious, you can send it to Vic at:vic@soberawkward.comAnonymous is absolutely fine. In fact, for legal reasons, probably preferable!!📞 SUPPORT & RESOURCESIf anything in today’s Shame Shed felt familiar, or you’re worried about your drinking, there is support out there. You don’t have to do this on your own.🇦🇺 AustraliaNational Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline📞 1800 250 015 (24/7)🌐 https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/alcohol-and-drug-information-serviceLifeline📞 13 11 14 (24/7)🌐 https://www.lifeline.org.auHello Sunday Morning / Daybreak🌐 https://hellosundaymorning.org🌐 https://daybreakapp.com.auClean Slate Clinic🌐 https://www.cleanslateclinic.com🇬🇧 United KingdomDrinkline📞 0300 123 1110🌐 https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/Alcohol Change UK🌐 https://alcoholchange.org.ukWe Are With You🌐 https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk🌍 InternationalAlcoholics Anonymous🌐 https://www.aa.orgSMART Recovery🌐 https://www.smartrecovery.org💬 A gentle reminderIf you’re drinking in the morning to cope, especially with anxiety or withdrawal symptoms, it’s really important to speak to a doctor or medical professional. Stopping suddenly can be unsafe for some people, and support can make a huge difference.