Smersh Pod

This week we’ll be seeing what happens when you put the long arm into Little Botham. Will the results be part of the Cannon, or will they end up a major Balls up?Yes, it’s The Boys in BlueAnd joining me to have a John put a lamp up on his flagpole is Paul Litchfield

Today we’ll be going live in order to find out what on earth possessed the BBC to make a show about a celebrity trapped in a house with a deranged maniac a full decade before Celebrity Big Brother thought of it.Yes, it’s Ghost WatchAnd joining me to tap three times on the ceiling if he’s haunted, twice on the pipes if the answer is no, is Simon Love.

Today we’ll be finding out what happens when you go hanging about in the woods at the wrong time. The toilet gets blocked, the wife goes hard and you lose a finger. Yes, it’s Carry on Screaming.And joining me to go down to the cellar to clean the dust and wax off in the dark is Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

Today we’ll be heading to the Murder Capital of the world to find out just what happens when you CROSS the wrong youths. There’ll be flying, dying, Frogs and dogs as Santa Carla plays host to a group of guys that really suck. Yes it’s The Lost Boys.And joining me to grab a bite, that she assures me are just noodles, is Kate McCabe.

Today we’ll be meeting the man of your dreams! Good news: He’s got a great sense of humour, has his own place, loves kids and adores fingering. Bad news: He’s bald, mean spirited, loves kids a bit too much, and has claws for a hand. Yes, it’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. Joining me to get ready for Freddy is Steve Hall

Today we’ll be gathering all of our facilities and coming to our senses as we seek the ultimate in pleasure, gloop and bafflement.Yes, it’s From Beyond.Joining me to sellotape a sausage to our foreheads is award-winning Welshman Dan Thomas, and Dr. Dean Burnett