Shrimp Cocktail

Jessel was once kidnapped by a cold-hearted housewife named Sai. Jessel lived in the bottom of a ship with her husband, Lewis. Eventually, Jessel's family hired a knight named Brynn to save the couple and they immigrated to Ellis Island, New York City. Upon arrival, Jessel and Lewis were allowed to keep their Irish names, "Jack O'Lantern." The couple followed Brynn to her death and Sai was never heard from again.

"This is a message from Anonymous. Do you want to play a prank?" Ubah begins to panic as she notices a bear trap around her neck and Jessel beside her- tits out in the grotto. Erin appears on two monitors, red spirals on her cheeks, blowing ass on a tricycle. An x-ray of Ubah's skull is shown on the monitor with a SIM card behind her eye. "You have 3 minutes to retrieve your SIM card, otherwise the bear trap will close." Jessel is given a knife - will she be able to retrieve Ubah's SIM card and call for help before it's too late? Suddenly I'm craving a Shrimp Cocktail!

Going through security on you way to Anguilla, Brynn is there to pat-down your dad. Jenna is told by Sai that she must remove her outerwear. Ubah smuggles her WAP past the TSA and Jessel brings her anal beads disguised as earrings. Upon arrival, Erin will be handing out wet blankets. All aboard, it’s time for Shrimp Cocktail!

This week we welcome a special guest co-host: Nywani. Ambassador to the Crustacean Nation, Nywani has recently returned from a diplomatic mission to our nation’s capital: Shediac, NB. Our ambassador met with the delegate from Mommy Nation, Sanya Richards-Ross, to sign the Seaside Convention. Notable points in the convention include: Shereé Whitfield to be appointed representative of the press, protection of Brynn Whitfield (no relation to Shereé), and Whitney Rose to be trialled for crimes against humanity for her bedroom paint scene. To celebrate this historic event it’s time for a Shrimp Cocktail!

This week's mini challenge is called: Flirting with Married Men. You will compete in a sexy 80's workout-themed photoshoot with photographer Mike Ruiz. The twist? You'll be modelling with children. Whose children? We don't know... but they were cold and hungry and we found them somewhere in a bank. You have five minutes to get into quick drag - it's time for Shrimp Cocktail!

It’s time for another Shrimp Cocktail with your favourite cackling hags: Becky and Peter. Bethenny Clause is coming to town and leaving reminisce of a seafood boil in her wake. Make sure to leave a pickle and ginger-ale out for her to eat otherwise you will be banished to the up-and-coming neighbourhood of Tribeca. Finally, bring your sunglasses to as we mingle under the blinding lights of Jessel’s apartment and rejoice in the true reason for the season …a good old fashioned hand job!

Welcome back to American Horror story: Jessel. A story of a sterile upscale apartment in NYC that is burdened with a delicate glass light fixture, a climbing wall, a white couch, and two toddlers. Jessel must keep her toddlers from interacting with anything in the apartment all while trying to fain interest in her husband. If Jessel fails, RuPaul will enter the room and make her reveal her sob story. If Jessel succeeds, she’ll be invited to “Bynnsgiving” where she’ll be ridden reverse cowgirl by a sexy dumpster teen. Hide your knives, hide your kids, it’s time for Shrimp Cocktail!

Erin is holding the ladies hostage in her unheated home with only caviar and pringles to eat. Vailed in the darkness of night, Jenna makes a harrowing escape from the RHONY cult. Brynn brings the kengery in her floor length fur, further fueling rumours that she’s a gay man. Meanwhile, Ubah is showing her nudes to everyone at the Aer Lingus terminal. Finally, Pearly the magician pulls a popsicle out of Jessel which Sai uses for content on Sniffies. Grab your passports because it’s time to visit the crustacean nation!