Shadow Playground

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Khan Ramkeesoon, a former licensed mental health therapist, now works as a group facilitator and coach specializing in embodied transformation and playfulness. An immigrant from Trinidad & Tobago of South Asian descent, Khan brings a rich cultural heritage and personal experience to their practice. As a queer and non-binary individual, Khan helps clients connect with their inner wisdom and experience greater love and joy amidst complex emotions.PRACTICES: When experiencing anxiety, get curious and tune into the sensations in the body. Explore what memories, concerns, desires and needs are there. Then, inquire into what else is present and what more you need to know. Finally, offer support and presence to the part of you that is feeling the anxiety. Ask how yourself how you are feeling about the anxiety.Adjust your breath to calm down. For instance, you can add an extended exhale. To improve your capacity to navigate anxiety, you can think of something challenging. Then relax your body and extend your exhale.  Do a death practice where you lie down and imagine your death. Alternatively, do a year-long practice where you imagine you are going to die. IDEAS: Anxiety is an alert that something is going on. It is not bad. From that initial alert, we can attach additional layers of interpretation. It makes sense that we feel anxiety in social situations because our connections are meaningful for our survival. Instead of considering whether your level of anxiety is normal, consider whether it is affecting the way that you would like to be functioning in the world. Someone who has lots of anxiety is just picking up on a lot of things. There doesn’t need to be judgement about it; this ability can also be considered a gift. You don’t need to intellectualize or rationalize with the part of you that is anxious.Running away will also not help. As compared to stress, anxiety often has an element of feeling danger. Imagine a world where people are excited about death in the context of union & connection. By being in stillness and in coherence you can help anxious people who are around you.

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Makaylah is a passionate mental health advocate and speaker who creates spaces that bring down walls, deepen connection and foster empathy. Makaylah is a neurodivergent, queer, non-binary, trauma survivor with a raw, yet relatable approach. They share stories that humanize hard truths, make us laugh and bring us together. Their advocacy work spans vital topics such as anxiety & depression, mental illness, neurodiversity, LGBTQ+ education, suicide prevention, sexual violence and more. By breaking stigma and fostering open conversations, Makaylah envisions a world where everyone feels a sense of belonging and safety. As a social impact entrepreneur, Makaylah co-owns two businesses with their wife, Fia- Lynn Crandall (she/her). Through their first, Scale Naturally, they work with socially conscious organisations to maximize impact by nurturing the unique potential of leaders and teams. Through their innovative approach to Inclusive Leadership and Diversity initiatives, they help cultivate a Culture of Care where everyone can contribute authentically, leading to enhanced productivity and wellbeing. Additionally, their business Frankie D's Donuts is on a mission to reduce loneliness… one Donut at a time. Their made-from-scratch Donuts serve as a conduit for connection among people, emphasizing the importance of community and fostering meaningful connections. They run workshops with their Donuts acting as an important ingredient for real change.-EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Throw out the rule book of what joy or play should look like. Allow yourself to start with small actions. Think about something that meets you where you are at. Reflect on who you are, what you like, what you don’t like and what joy actually looks like to you. This will take some experimentation. Each day do one thing that brings you joy. At the beginning of the day think about how you will have joy that day (ex. what you will do for yourself or how you will take care of yourself) At the end of the day reflect on something that felt good and one thing that didn’t feel good. Set up preventative measures with friends ahead of time. Find solutions with friends where everyone’s needs are met. IDEAS: Joy and play can also be masks or coping mechanisms. You can’t see mental illness. Part of healing is knowing what you like, your feelings, and your needs, and how to communicate those things to other people. The goal of therapy is not to get fixed, but rather to find, love and care for yourself. Everyone has physical and mental health. Mental health is like chronic physical disease. We need to take time to recharge our battery. All emotions are normal and valid. A lot of self-care practices come from a privileged lense. Allow yourself to add nuance in your understanding of joy. Images of joy that we are shown are often unattainable. We can have gratitude for our coping mechanisms. Have self-compassion and acceptance for our coping mechanisms. Feeling less alone is the first step.

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY- Dan Rudolph is an educator, facilitator, systems thinker, and seeker of truth. For 2.5 years, Dan lived in a monastic setting, professionally practicing mindfulness. During his spare time at the monastery, he studied clowning and offered play-based workshops in the community. In this period the connections between 'play', meditation and culture-change became increasingly clear.The positive feedback and impact that people shared from the workshops inspired Dan to keep going and nurture the seeds of what is now called Unified Playfulness, which is a unique play-based approach geared towards the cultivation of mindful awareness and behavior change. Dan offers customizable and general Unified Playfulness workshops for individuals, teams, and public groups, both online and in-person. He is currently based in Tio:tia’ke/Montreal, on the shores of the Iroquois River. You can contact him at danrudolph108@gmail.com.Website: https://stitch-bottle-42c.notion.site/Unified-Playfulness-8cc8859d87724fbdb3bed91b20310a19-EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Chant with the different parts of the ohm sound (a-o-mm). Inspiration from Butoh clown: moving slowly and laughing. Role-play situations in life where you could integrate mindfulness. Speak in a different voice. Try doing not practical things. Start gatherings with a grounding practice like meditation, touch, massage, dancing or shaking. Try to communicate with other people without words. You can integrate mindfulness and play into your day in many different ways. Sing with your toothbrush. Laugh while doing dishes. Making a cover fort & tell a story. Take 10 minutes each day to play - no regular words or technology, everything else is ok Give yourself a little quest when you go outsideStarting a creative hobby like learning how to juggle. Make yourself as ugly as possible with makeup. Talk to the plants like they were alive - ‘Hey, how are you doing today?’Send a message to yourself a week later and send it by e-mail. Cook and do something different.Intuitive writing involves simply writing without thinking and permitting yourself to be open. IDEAS: Taking things not so seriously can improve our ability to handle serious and complex topics. We can shift unhealthy patterns that have developed by changing our behaviour. Balance is needed between the rational and the intuitive, the competitive and the cooperative. Play and mindfulness share many characteristics. They are both regenerative practices. Develop a state of mind where play and mindfulness are integrated into everything you do. Our shadow parts can be our deepest learnings. You can ensure people will be safe all of the time because people have different needs. 

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Korra AnarchKey (she/they) is here to share the spirit of alternative culture and youthful rebellion! Whether it's being a rock'n'roll princess or an abstract entity, she is here to show you a different side to human reality. Are you ready for the rise of AnarchKey?Socials: @korraanarchkey -EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Imagine you have an on/off switch that allows you to empathize with anyone. Find a way to artistically express a part of yourself that feels dark or taboo. Visualize a shadow aspect of yourself and converse with it. To catapult from a negative state of mind to a positive one, first fully feel your feelings in the moment. Then, express what you are feeling in a creative and cathartic burst, bringing yourself to neutral. Then keep an open mindset and continue along the seem trajectory. Practice self-care by cleaning your space, washing yourself, and picking out nice clothes then showing the world what you want to wear. When you express dark aspects of yourself, you can do so in ways that are loving, out of love, to protect someone you love, or because it might help them learn something. IDEAS: Drag is a ceremonial and performative shamanic practice that allows for a deep exploration of autonomy. You can use drag to share dark or taboo aspects of oneself, such as mental health struggles or feelings of oppression. This bloodletting is a means of achieving catharsis.Others can also experience catharsis through witnessing your art. When something is in the shadows it holds great potential as it isn’t yet defined. When we share our shadow, we integrate these aspects into ourselves and they can become positive. All energy and emotions are useful, you just need to learn to channel them. Even if you are experiencing a lot of bad energy, it can still help you understand what you like, what you don’t like, and how you can navigate that energy in the future. Whatever negative emotions you are feeling, you can feel the inverse to the same degree. Ground yourself into your physical reality when you are feeling negative thought patterns. Then analyze what is going on in your head. Everything occurs in cycles & waves. Everyone contains aspects of masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy can be understood as an outward, initiating energy, and feminine energy as inward, holding, cycling and renewing. By changing how others see you, you can change the way you see yourself. This said, don’t let others define who you are. Creating a stronger community by embracing differences and commonalities.Spirituality should be enjoyable. There is no one true spirituality or religion, and individuals should find what resonates with them.

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Adam Kol is The Couples Financial Coach. He helps couples go from financial overwhelm or fighting to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind.Adam is a Certified Financial Therapist - Level I™, Certified Mediator, and Tax Attorney with a Duke Law degree and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. He is a husband, dog dad, musician, and social justice advocate, as well.Adam has been quoted in The Wall Street Journal, Marie Claire, CNBC, and more.Website: https://www.couplesfinancialcoach.com/ -EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Imagine you have $10 000 and you have to spend it on yourself. What would you spend it on? Look at your credit card bill and notice what comes up for you as you look at your expenses. Seek out financial resources that will prompt your thinking. IDEAS: Money has a tactical aspect as well as a human/emotional/spiritual side. It is complex and for many people a taboo subject. Reflect on your relationship to money. Where does that relationship come from? Are there aspects of that relationship that aren’t aligned? Money connects to history, context, narratives, gender and race. The mindsets that were developed in these contexts were passed on. Money can meet deeper needs. For instance, buying your time and energy back, giving security and peace of mind & knowing you’re on track towards your goals.  The four money scripts (avoidance, worship, status, vigilance) is a popular way of understanding different relationships to money. Finding financial balance requires aligning with your values, needs and wants.Balance comes from both self-awareness and trial and error. When there are fears around money, show up with compassion and acceptance. There are a few core concepts in finance that are easy to understand: income, expenses, assets, debts, and interest rates. You can learn how they are related and how they connect to your goals. No matter how much money you have, there will always be stressors. Confronting money issues can give you a sense of empowerment.RESOURCES: www.richandregular.com www.stefanieoconnell.comwww.jenhemphill.com www.heyberna.com www.moneysmartlatina.com www.resourcegeneration.org 

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Hayley Simons is a Child Development and Behaviour Specialist, Certified Child Sleep Consultant, and owner of Hayley the Parent Coach. In her Canada-based practice, Hayley supports millennial parents who want to parent in a way that honours and respects their child, and breaks the cycle of punitive parenting patterns. Learn more at www.hayleytheparentcoach.ca.-EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: To enjoy playing with a child, pay close attention to their interests and find activities that both of you enjoy. Gather hints about their interests by paying attention to their environment, and find gateways to connection.To help the child create a secure attachment, try to understand and respond appropriately to their specific needs. You are trying to build a safe world with a level of predictability. In difficult moments, the trick is to maintain the connection. Children often feel adults don’t understand what they are going through. Instead of trying to change or stop the behaviour or create a power struggle, connect with the child, get down to their level and look at the world from their perspective. Use simple direct questions to help the child connect with how they were feeling. Did that make you feel bad? What about this didn’t feel good? Focus on simple, accessible language. When giving agency and autonomy, make sure they are age appropriate. For instance, you can offer two options instead of a broad question asking what they would like to eat. The result is that the child can feel more control over their environment. You can apologize to your kids when you make a mistake. If you receive criticism of yourself as a parent from your children, receive the comments with grace without taking things personally. Perception is reality. No matter how hard you try, they won’t like something you did.  IDEAS: Kids naturally don’t care about you doing the right thing, or filling the space with conversation. They just want to play with them on their level. Kids like concrete, specific words and questions, not vague questions about the past or the future (ex. What are you doing today?)Play schemas are the ways kids make sense of the world through repeated behaviours. Help them find a healthy expression of the schema. We need to model how to sit with emotions without viewing them as good or bad. Often when they are being punitive, parents are feeling a loss of control and are focusing on the surface level difficult behaviour. Children don’t know how to emotionally regulate, that is our job. It’s not helpful for the adult to freak out. They are still learning what is socially acceptable and how to express themselves.You can’t force a child to do something don’t want to do or aren’t ready for. Kids are people and we cannot control them. When we set boundaries with children, we are doing it to teach what is ok and what isn’t ok, without shaming and while keeping their dignity intact. Filling your own cup as a parent is important. As a consequence, you can show up for your kids more consistently, with calm, patience and the level of responsiveness that is needed. Parents need a support system. They need to understand that they can do it all, what their own needs are, what makes them feel good, how to set boundaries, and how to sit with uncomfortable feelings.  It’s ok for things to be hard.There is no need to try for perfect parenting, that doesn’t exist. 

-GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Karla Kerr is a holistic funeral director and death doula whose mission is to reclaim death care and bring it back into the community. She focuses on creating safe spaces for open and honest conversations about end of life options with less euphemism and more clarity.  Karla is passionate about sharing the knowledge and experience she has gained from working in traditional funeral homes and does so with a healthy dose of levity and humour. Website: https://karlakerr.ca/-EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Find creative ways to talk about death: Death over dinner conversation, Death café, Death over drafts. Use entry way conversation starters to ease into the topic. Talk about your end of life with your family so they know how to act in your interest. Let them know what would be worse than dying and let that inform the decisions you make. When dying, return to the senses and find moments of pleasure and joy. These will be unique to each person. Prepare beforehand by telling the people around you about the things that bring you pleasure, so they can make sure you have access to them.Find ways of connecting to activities that you used to enjoy together. Show love to yourself by tuning into what you really want, free from expectations of how you should be. Connect to your true needs. Help protect the time of someone who is dying. You can deeply honor the dying person by honoring their values and requests at the end of life. You are celebrating them exactly as they are. If you have remorse or regret regarding someone who has passed, give space for it not to be ok, the pain and the heartache. Draw comfort from people who have already died. You can continue to be in connection with them in a way that makes sense to you. Alternatives to cremation: Alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation), Terramation (human composting). Imagine leaving this life feeling a lightness in your soul. IDEAS: Death is an opportunity to be grateful for what we have (ex. walking and breathing), and to take vulnerable risks by speaking what we truly feel and following the dreams we have been putting off. It is easy to hide from our true desires by telling ourselves we will follow them in the future. Sometimes the future comes and we are no longer able to. We have a finite amount of time and we don't know how much time that is. Acceptance doesn't mean being ok with what is happening, but acknowledging it is happening and determining how to best move forward.  There are two kinds of death: sudden and prolonged. Today, most people live a prolonged death. Dying people want authentic and deep connection & relationships .You don’t need to see everyone that wants to see you when you’re dying. Focus on the needs of the dying person. Their needs become small and pure.  Common regrets include working too much, putting family aside, not pursuing a dream, holding a grudge.There are concentric circles around the person who is dying. We lean in when we can offer support, we lean out when we need support. We don’t reach the end of life with perfection, and everything doesn’t close perfectly. You can’t take away the sadness of someone leaving forever. The death positivity movement allows us to reduce anxiety around death.

Facilitation in organizations is a field full of opportunities for play as well as obstacles to connection. To navigate an organizational field, a deep curiosity and nuanced approach are needed. In this episode Rehana Tejpar, founder of Bloom Consulting, lifts the curtain on the practices and philosophies underlying her work helping organizations become more human and free. -GUEST BIOGRAPHY-Rehana Tejpar is a facilitator, mediator and coach working with leaders and organizational ecosystems to support culture change towards equity, collaboration, organizational health and creativity. Since 2005, she has been playing with play-based learning and transformation through Theatre of the Oppressed, InterPlay, and more recently sacred clowning. She is deeply serious and deeply playful at once, believing in the need for strategies that include creativity & play as ways to open up the fields of possible transformations, and reconnecting our mind, body, heart and spirit. She is based in Tio:tia’ke/Montreal, on the shores of the Iroquois River and works with Bloom Consulting.-EPISODE SUMMARY-PRACTICES: Host a retreat to create a theory of change.Build an internal team to steward and champion a change initiative. Be a wise fool and practice not knowing. Share stories to naturally overcome any illusionary divide.Create a circle where everyone has an opportunity to speak from the heart and hear from one another is a safe structure. It is not a space for interruption or rebuttal. Often there is a question at the center. In a moment of feeling stuck, ask, ‘What is the next most graceful step?’IDEAS: We can't lead people somewhere where we haven't gone.Nothing is supposed to be perfect - this is a legacy of white supremacist culture. Your way of being can also help an organization grow. It’s possible to have a shared purpose and to play at work. People trust solutions they are part of building. We can create participation for different parts of ourselves. A small group is a fractal of change and a place to practice our wisdom about change. Sacred clowning helps people not fall into dogma or a singular truth that would confine the unknown mysteries of the world. These clowns also spoke truth to power.  The clown lets go of perfectionism, accepts offers, is deeply alive and in awe of the miracle of life.Connecting with one’s inner clown can be liberating because we are letting out our unknown desires. Playing games with groups helps the magic of life pour out of ourselves. There is a strong bridge between mindfulness and playfulness. Play stills our mind, pushes away distractions, and brings us to the present. When we see each other in our vulnerability and our imperfection there is an outpouring of love. There are obstacles and barriers to giving and receiving that love. Playing and risk taking can help shed some of the barriers to connection. We can work in partnership towards a dream of us being human and free.