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Valley of the Dolls - My Lez Friend’s Wedding (The Valley S3E16)
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Lara and Carey return to talk Lara’s upcoming international adventure, moving heaven and earth for the upgrade, Carey’s high altitude bathroom rituals, a harrowing new “Special Forces” cast featuring Brandi Glanville and George Santos, a history-making “Golden Life” update, and finally seeing The Rizzler as a national treasure. They also discuss the breaking news that Jax and husband Brittany’s longtime, Canada-based publicist are bumping purses. A reader recounts their debaucherous night in Toronto with Mr. Taylor himself.
Back on The Valley, the crew reels from their disastrous vacation in Mexico; Nia (with Saerpent) prepares to leave for Miss USA where she is judged, forcing Danny to confront the unthinkable: caring for their children for a few days without her. Danny also readies himself for his overdue vasectomy procedure, as Jesse, Luke and Schwartz join him for a “Balls Voyage” drink sesh out in the Santa Clarita Horror; Jesse and Luke question Janet’s timing for her S/A reveal. Meanwhile, Jasmine tries on wedding dresses for her sweet mother, Brittany and Zack recount Jasmine’s long and arduous romantic path to finding Melissa; and Zack accompanies Danny for the Big Snip. Lala celebrates seven years of sobriety, where Janet and Doute have it out at the dinner table; Lala grapples with putting her longtime dog down. Doute settles back into Los Angeles serenity, confronting Luke once again about his own wedding bombshell. Then the crew descends on a Hollywood rooftop where Britt’s engagement party for Jasmine and Melissa commences: Janet unsuccessfully tries to thaw the ice between her and Jesse, Brittany sweats in her heels, and Jasmine and Melissa look ahead to their dream Jersey nuptials.
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Valley of the Dolls - Y Tu Mamá Doute También (The Valley S3E15)
01:15:55|Lara and Carey return to the birthday trip of nightmares, but first they discuss Jenn Pendranti’s son allegedly committing arson and Justin Baldoni and his wife’s rindom new Instagram video, beamed in from Nashville.Back on The Valley, the day of judgment begins: Danny’s birthday, and Brittany forgot to wear her stomach compressions overnight! Brittany, Lala, and Jinet sit out Danny’s Miami Vice booze cruise, and Janet confides in Lala about a past trauma that’s resurfacing, via Danny’s drunken terrorism. On the boat, the crew heads to an island buffet, where Michelle and Lacey talk PDA Gate, and Jesse blabs to Doute about Luke’s wedding confession; a shunked Doute confronts Luke, leading to more trouble in paradise. Schwartz wears a bandage around his face in solidarity with Zack (post-streetlight strike) and the crew assembles for their final night in Mexico to celebrate Danny’s awkward birthday. Nia goes into full PR mode, fighting off Lala and Michelle, causing Danny to descend into the Darkside once more. Nia flees, but not before Mama Doute comes to her side, attempting to soothe her newly-minted bestie as only a Mama can…Valley of the Dolls - LGBusTQ (The Valley S3E14)
01:16:02|Lara and Carey reunite after his whirlwind Fire Island adventure. They discuss his gay ass vacation, Madonna’s LGBTQ opus, the artist selling trash cubes from Taylor’s Fall of Rome wedding, Lena Dunham’s continuing to triumph over evil, and more. Then back on the unholy birthday trinity trip in Mexico, Schwartz’s bday lunch from Hell rages on, as Jinet breaks down to Jason over Danny’s drunken behavior. Michelle keeps lamenting Jesse and Lacey’s PDA, as Lacey arrives right on time for Zack’s birthday leg. Luke talks Donte with Brittany and Lala, and Brittany frees the tourtles. Danny and Nia whip each other up over the haters. Then the crew heads on a double decker bus to the clubs; Brittany confronts Jesse and Zack’s head gets bashed by a low-hanging street light, forcing him to be rushed to the hospital. In honor of Zack, the crew rages on. Nia tries to neuter Danny’s hip thrusts and overall Nigerians, activating soon-to-be birthday boy Darkside Danny for another night of horrors…Genius Alert Ep. 2 - Davy Jones’ F*cker ft. Charles Hsu (RHONY S5E14)
01:28:00|Lara and Carey lock back in for the second installment in SUP’s brand new series: GENIUS ALERT. This time, they enlist comedian/social media star Charles Hsu to pick his favorite episode of reality TV ever: “Slutty Island” on RHONY Season 5. First, the three discuss Charles’s introduction to SUP, how Sonja Morgan inspires his characters on TikTok, the Love Island industrial complex and taking things to a place of sliming/hot dogs.On RHONY, Carole hosts the women on a lux excursion to St. Barths, and Luann is in the hot seat after allegedly cheating on Jacques with Johnny Depp lookalike Tomas the Pirate. Ramona tries to squeeze the info out of Tomas to in all her CIA-esque interrogation skills, but it’s no use. Sonja, possessed by sun and wine, sets her sights on the young libertine, and the two sneak off into the night for some anal in the garden of good and evil. After a glorious yacht trip the next day, Ramona and Sonja gird their loins for the arrival of Aviva, who forces Reid to accompany her on the harrowing plane ride into St. Barths, and arrives at the house to a less than enthusiastic reception. Disgusted by Ramona and Sonja, Aviva wages war in the name of Reid and Vassar College, dragging the girls trip into a night of screaming, tears, and Heather “Holla Mama” Thomson.Genius Alert Ep. 1 - Game Night at Count Dracula’s Castle ft. Girls Rewatch Podcast (RHOBH S2E6)
01:48:39|In a brand new SUP series “GENIUS ALERT” Lara and Carey are joined by the inimitable duo from New York, Evan Lazarus and Amelia Ritthaler, hosts of the iconic Girls Rewatch podcast, to recap their favorite reality show episode of all time. They discuss their brief foray into LA and Evan’s perma-war with Bethenny Frankel, tracking her TikTok posting schedule and exploring the trials and tribulations of her post RHONY celebrity.Then the four get right into Evan and Amelia’s pick of the litter: season 2, episode 6 of RHOBH… “Let the Games Begin.” Back in the golden days of 2011, LVP prepares to host a dinner to celebrate Pandora and Jason’s engagement, and terrorizes her long-suffering housekeeper Rosia. Taylor enlists LA’s premiere event coordinator Dana Wilkey to host an ill-conceived game night at her haunted house of terrors. Adrienne raises concerns to Kyle over Kim’s mental health after a troubling trip to Sacramento, then tells Brandi about her polarizing parenting style when her son pissed in Adrienne’s backyard.At Dracula’s Castle (Dana’s house), the women —minus LVP and Adrienne —gather for no real food, bizarre desserts, a lack of furniture, and Dana’s cig-charred brow-nosing of the Sisters Richards. Brandi, on crutches, remains the outcast of the crew, forced to be on Kyle and Kim’s “celebrity” team. As Kim’s frequent bathroom trips and stage whispers, Brandi insults ramp up and the future face parasite victim is pushed to the brim, priming us for a showdown with two-thirds of the Richards coven and the “sl*t pig” heard ‘round the world!Valley of the Dolls - Sun, Sand and Jinet Psychosis (The Valley S4E13)
01:09:22|Lara and Carey return to Puerto Vallarta to check in with the San Fernando Valley’s greatest luminaries. But first they discuss tragic news about Lady Martha’s beloved bet bird Hecate, the future of Ladies of London: The New Reign, the artist formerly known as Club Chalamet meeting her match in a fellow Connor Storrie super-fan in Paris, and more details about Taylor Swift’s terrifying wedding at Madison Square Garden.Back in Mexico, Schwartzapalooza comes to a screeching halt when the crew heads upstairs: Lala stays on Danny’s ass about his anti-Janet social media behavior, Zack channels Pazzazu to yell at his hags, Brittany finally gives Danny a piece of her bags-riddled mind, and Janet begins her fascinating, non-confrontational confrontations by addressing the ceiling, the ground — anywhere but in the direction of Danny and Nia. Doute hangs onto her own version of Luke’s parenting while Danny reveals his PTSD over being called out for sex pestery. On a shopping excursion, Nia lays onto Jinet — with Saerpent by her side — some more, causing Jinet to activate fight or flight mode (talking to herself, trolling Jesse for her massive debt); Michelle reveals Jesse’s zest for colonics.Valley of the Dolls - Doute The Punisher (The Valley S4E12)
01:44:31|Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to follow up with their favorite denizens of Hades, but first they discuss ‘Disclosure Day,’ Granpapa Speilberg, Emily Blunt’s performance of a lifetime, and thinspo aliens. They also talk the Modelland takeover of the internet, and Tyra Banks’s wonder emporium. Plus, a quick recap of the Summer House bonus episode at the very end!Back on The Valley, the crew prepares to head to Mexico for the triple birthday extravaganza; Zack and Jasmine get butt facials and Brittany tells Doute she’s over her perma-stanning of Danny & Nia. Then to the Baja they go, and Doute’s travel anxiety gets the best of her, starting in the airport after she’s accosted in the restroom with Kaia by some Bravo fans. Her mood continues to darken, even with the help of her mystery sister Casey and her husband there to help with baby duty, Doute goes full Punisher mode and unleashes her post-partum stress on Luke. Schwartz’s musics festival themed birthday portion of the trip arrives just in time for a fearsome thunderstorm. Glug Glug hoots and hollers, Brittany —tubes out— rages in her GERD glory, Jesse confirms his brokenness, Jinet reveals her bisexual crush on Michelle, Doute sorrow-stomps through the Backrooms of the resort, and Serpent gains strength, biding her time until she strikes…
SoHo Psychos - Gay Baiters of the Last Lark (Southern Hospitality S4 Reunion Pt. II)
51:47|Lara and Carey return for one last tango in Charleston (on a soundstage in New York), but first they discuss The Social Reckoning trailer, Mikey Madison’s mysterious line read, and the rindom abyss of X (formerly known as Twitter). In the final part of the Southern Hospitality season four reunion, Emmy rounds out her confounding apology over Unsafe Gate, and Brad —rightfully— is unconvinced. Emmy evokes “As Such” once more when Will is once again mentioned. Justin explains his fluid sexuality, fights off gay baiter claims (while managing a microagression of his own); Michols and Lake go to war against Justin over Jordyn. Lake and Mia spar after Lake tells Mia she’s not a Girl’s Girl; Maddi talks her frozen eggs and she and Joe reveal their plans to make it official (moving in together). A Republic divided, all under a crescent moon and palmetto tree.Valley of the Dolls - The Misadventures of Miss Balls (The Valley S3E11)
01:38:31|Lara and Carey discuss Lara’s new closet renovation, Carey incorrectly stating then finding out exactly where Lara’s closet is actually located. They also recap final part of the Summer House reunion they learned (not much), what they didn’t (a lot), Jesse’d tears, the boxes that no doubt await Amanda’s future, and West’s gurning. They also report breaking news of Milan’s Giudice’s shocking run-in with the law.Back on The Valley, Brittany continues to drain into her bags, and thankfully may be done with Brandon for good; she reveals Nia dropping the ball with her Meal Train promise. Jesse, Lacy, Doute and Luke swear their allegiance to Danny and Nia over pickles while Jasmine asks Zack to be her non-maid of honor, maid of honor at her NJ wedding. Zack puts himself in the danger zone by accompanying Danny to a Knick knack store for his anniversary present to Nia. Then Schwartz hosts a James Bond party at his 1,000 foot tall townhome of terror, where even hobblin’ Jason and Brittany “Miss Balls”Cartwright make an appearance. Michelle wears her engagement ring as a necklace, Nia apologizes to Brittany for her Meal Train snafu, but gets into with Jinet, who calls her out for her fake ass vibes. Meanwhile, finally says what (mostly) everyone’s been thinking Jasmine tells Danny he and Nia are hypocrite Christians. Michelle and Jesse cry some more…