Sexy Unique Podcast

Lara and Carey discuss their legendary episode of The Ultimate Spend, Carey’s inner auctioneer, even newer Summer House reunion audio leaks, a terrifying development in West’s personal life, the unfortunate truth about dumb dick and how not even someone as formidable as Ciara is immune. Plus the real “Emily” from Devil Wears Prada breaks her silence and why Widow’s Bay is serving.Back on The Valley, Larz and Carz brave the urge to jump ship after being torpedoed by the boringness of this show, but choose to go sink with the boat as all good captains must do. Hetero Hell is truly errands in The Valley. Michelle reveals her past as a gymnast and some sad things about her dad; Doute, Zack and Britt get waxed and bronzed in anticipation of their California Board of Tourism-sanctioned trip to San Diego. Lala checks in on Janet’s mental health at pilates, as nearly the entire group is currently in Rindom Psychosis about Mrs. Caperna. Lacy reveals her doomsday bunker without disclosing its location, Janet hosts a game night at a barcade with Ms. Lips, and Brittany invites the crew over for another cursed pool party at her place. Danny revels in Reign of Terror campaign against Jinet, who tries to mend things with Zack, who tries to mediate Luke about Doute, who then smokes a magnanimous bowl with Jinet, part of her diabolical plan to regain control over this snooze fest of a group.

Lara and Carey discuss the Michael Jackson harrowing biopic’s grip over LA, Mia from SoHo dropping a West/Amanda bomb on WWHL, Elizabeth Smart’s bodybuilding turn, and more.On Southern Hospitality, Joe Bradley’s 30th Emo Bash is finally here, and Charleston’s greatest fail-son comes crawling back to Maddi for forgiveness. TJ joins Michols for a whirlwind work trip in NYC, where Michols takes model meetings and becomes the face of Men’s Warehouse. Julia catches wind of a new lie Emmy is telling about Brad which ups “Unsafe Gate” into new levels of adderall-tinged racism. At Joe’s party, the crew has varying degrees of accurate with their emo representations; Lake debuts her lady friend and has one too many Four Lokos, prompting an ill-advised confrontation with Mia. Julia calls out Emmy — inexplicably channeling Britney Spears in “Hit Me Baby”— who, in turn, nearly self-combusts.

Lara and Carey are back to discuss Mx. Sweeney’s cut from The Devil Wears Prada 2, the cosmic rindomness of Euphoria season 3, Snooki’s cancer diagnosis, Kendall Jenner and Elordi’s boring hot union and more.Then on The Valley, Doute’s postpartum goes to DEFCON ONE on girls night with Brit and Jasmine. Brittany spills the beans about her newly minted relationship with Brandon and Danny slaps on a breastfeeding device for men, driving Nia further into psychosis. Schwartz, Jason and Jesse get pedicures and flirt with the receptionist at the salon. The boys gather at a cigar bar to broker peace between Danny and Jason. Schwartz, Lala, Michelle head to the infamous Belmont for a singles night; Michelle and Lala concoct a scheme to book Schwartz up with Michelle’s friend Natalie, but the receptionist from the pedicure place shows up with other plans for Mister Tilapia. Luke and Doute’s date night at the bar goes south fast when Kristen drags Luke for drunken couch sleeping and flopbeat dad territory.

Lara and Carey head on down the crown jewel of the South once more, and King Street has never been busier… or more annoying. Maddi and Joe Bradley’s Cold War continues, as Maddi’s chats with both Leva Bonaparte and her top bun sponsor point her in the dump the flop direction. Meanwhile TJ teaches Joe the Gay Way aka Botox and Michols despairs over his mom’s lack of support as he shoots his big So Gay cover. After a rainy Second Sunday shilling TJ’s world famous weenies, the ladies go The Lottery on Mia over her recent date and hookup with Justin. Lake, possessed by the mob, leads the charge against Mia in the same of rindom Jordyn, all about chasing Mia out of her depressing Paint and Sip ladies night.  

Lara and Carey discuss Clavicular’s live-streamed overdose, his tragic beauty and methification, and why sober gays in West Hollywood could save him. They also talk Lena Dunham’s new memoir, the “Love Trapped” podcast, Alix Earle and Alex Cooper feud gaining a one Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia and more.Then on The Valley, Britt continues her sparkle venture with a boob reduction consolation and further plans for a Mommy Makeover with Big Mama Doute in tow. Luke and Jason meet for coffee as Luke lambasts Jason’s choice words for Danny as the girls (minus Rindom Jinet) head out into the dregs of Hollywood for a Y2K Ladies Night. Jasmine gets into it with Lala and Michelle get into it and Nia breastfeeds in a party bus. Brandon enters frame and takes Brittany out for a date noight, asking to make their relationship official over what else but SHAWTS. Then Danny and Nia host a cowboy party in Santa Clarita, where Glug Glug reverts to cowboy mode, driving Nia further into madness. Brandon inserts himself into the Lala/Michelle/Jasmine drama, giving shades of Jax; Schwartz transforms into Jim Jones.  

Lara and Carey head on out to King’s Street to check in with our favorite psychos in Charleston. But first they discuss Caitlyn Jenner seeking half a mill from her late BFF Sophia, ATVing into the abyss, and Caitlyn’s American tragedy.On Southern Hospitality, the tube day ends with an overalls and steak fest at the house. Lake and Michols hash it out over Lake’s faux pas, Emmy tries and fails to smooth things with Brad and reports to white woman on the verge once more, Justin and Mia smooch, and TJ and Michols bang it out to RHOSLC. Back at home, Maddi reaches a breaking point with Joe Bradley’s flop ways, proposing a relationship hiatus if he can’t get his partying under control. With his Emo 30th extravaganza on the horizon, Joe doesn’t take it well.  

Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando Valley for more glimpses into the abyss, but first they discuss the possibility of Devil Wears Prada 2 being iconic, the rindom new Vogue cover featuring Meryl Streep and Anna Wintour, new details about Lacy from The Valley’s kidnapping, typhus in LA, Natasha Lyonne’s Delta incident, awkwardness on The Euphoria red carpet and more.On The Valley, Larz and Carz wonder if that’s all there is? Who are these people, really? Who is Schwartz? Who is Lala? Jasmine? Michelle? None of these people really make sense, which is fitting for a time that doesn’t make sense. But still… we soldier through. Zack is forced on more bro dates, this time with Glug Glug Danny to the vasectomy doctor to get his balls inspected, and forced to be the voice of reason, this time questioning Brittany’s burgeoning flop relationship with Brandon. Doute and Luke finally fuck and Schwartz and Michelle do a salt room soundbars date and talk about sad things; Lacy demonstrates her total domination over Jesse. Lala invites everyone and their babies over for yet another sip-and-see for her baby, as Janet begins a humiliation tour of apologizing to everyone, including Jasmine and Nia, and getting nothing in return. Back in the Santa Clarita Horror, Danny pitches more sex with Nia, who — hovering somewhere above her body — contemplates how long she has before she runs away and starts a new life.

Lara and Carey return to Charleston to check in with our favorite staff at Republic. But first, they discuss Jen Shah’s first post-prison interview with PEOPLE, her close friendship with Elizabeth “Lizzie” Holmes, their bonding of poop duty, not fucking with Ghislaine and more.Back on Soho, Joe Bradley prepares for his emo night themed 30th birthday bash, as foot model TJ and Maddi plan for a river getaway at a rindom Airbnb in the woods. Emmy — in a place of quasi-denial — tries and fails to make up with Brad, entering a place of full, categorical denial over her micro-aggression. At the gator-riddled river, Justin admits to drinking piss for cash, Joe and Maddi’s relationship enters the next phase of bed death, Molly continues her MVP streak, and Michols gives Lake the cold shoulder over inadvertently blabbing to Emmy. Pushed to the brink by the loss of her gay, Lake reverts to Dune cosplay and calling her mom, who offers no sympathy.