Sextras

Our masculinity miniseries has been a little negative up until now (we’re aware of it at least!). But this week that all changes because we’re joined by Ben Hurst – activist, educator, and Head of Facilitation and Training at Beyond Equality – to discuss how we can rethink masculinity.As someone who regularly works with young boys in schools, we talk to Ben about what representation boys see of masculinity. In his Ted Talk, notes that boys will be what we teach them to be, so we talk about what characteristics boys currently associate with masculinity and being a man. Because toxic representations of masculinity result in violence, predominantly against women and girls, Ben explains how we can talk to men and boys to help them unlearn the more toxic traits of masculinity and reframe masculine traits to help themselves and those around them.Finally, we end the episode by talking about what boys think is expected of them when it comes to sex, and how sex education and male role models can do better.We hope you enjoy the episode, we’ve wanted to have Ben on since we started Sextras and we’re so happy to have finally spoken to him and learnt from his wisdom. For more of Ben, find out more about Beyond Equality or watch his Ted Talks here:Boys won't be boys, boy will be what we teach them to beWe need to talk to boys about online misogynyAs always, you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, on our website http://sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or email us sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com). We are now a magazine – for more content about masculinity check out our articles on our website, and you can pitch us your ideas at sextrasmag@gmail.com (mailto:sextrasmag@gmail.com).We’ll be back next week with the final episode of the miniseries — see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam

Christmas could not have come sooner with this episode as Lovehoney has sent us their 24-Day Advent Calendar to try and we’re opening it with their resident sexual wellness advisor, Sarah Tomchesson! We start the episode telling Sarah what we’re experimenting with in our sex lives, before diving into the calendar to find different sex toys, from vibrators, to butt plugs, cock rings and restraints. Sarah talks us through how to use different sex toys in versatile ways, whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned user. We learn a lot about how adaptable different sex toys can be, as well as new ways to incorporate them into our sex lives – by ourselves, and with a partner !Thank you so much to Lovehoney for sending us your 24 day advent calendar. It’s now on sale with 60% off for Black Friday, so definitely go check it out if you’re looking for something exciting to spice up the end of your year! You can find it us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextrasworld, and find our episodes, plus read lots of exciting articles about sex and relationships, over on our website http://sextrasworld.com. We’ll be back on Tuesday with another episode of our Masculinity miniseries, see you then! Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam

In the second episode of our Masculinity miniseries, we unpack everything to do with male friendships. While it comes as no surprise to some of us, the fact that men don’t have supportive friendships has been in the news a lot of late, with claims that there’s a male friendship recession and that men are lonelier than ever.After years of wondering what men talk to their friends about, we thought we’d find out for ourselves. In the process, we’ve probably lost all of our (admittedly, very few) male friends by asking them endless questions about their friendships.We start by talking about men’s friendships with other men, and let us say, it really is looking quite dire. We discuss how they make plans, what they do together, what they talk about and, specifically, how they talk about sex and relationships.Our survey on masculinity asked whether masculinity is something we’re attracted to in friends, so we also hear from non-male people how masculinity plays into their friendships, and whether they want to be friends with men. There seems to be a lot of suspicion from all sides towards men and women being friends, so we also ask whether men and women can truly be friends, whether conversations with male friends and female friends are the same and how women often take on a lot of emotional labour from men if they can’t process their feelings. We also ponder the ethics of having male friends when you’re in a (straight) relationship, and how our endless societal programming towards seeking male validation can be wrongly interpreted by our male friends. We hope you enjoy this episode, it’s worth noting we are aware some of these conversations are very binary and heteronormative, and also generalise. This episode is based on our own research and interpretation of that, and we definitely don’t think our findings are true across the board. If you have different experiences with friendship you feel aren’t covered, please feel free to share with us over email sextraspodcast@gmail.com (mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) or you can find us on our website sextrasworld.com (http://sextrasworld.com) or social media @sextrasworld. We’d love to hear your perspective! We’ll be back next week with the wonderful activist Ben Hurst to talk about moving towards a positive masculinity, but in the meantime you can find more content about masculinity over on Sextras Magazine. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Welcome to the first episode of our Masculinity miniseries! Masculinity has been under scrutiny the last few years: on one side, there are claims that masculinity is “toxic”, “fragile” or “in crisis”, and on the other there are those who claim “not all men” are responsible for this poor perception of masculinity. While we fully support bad behaviour being held to account here at Sextras, we wanted to discuss what masculinity really means to gen z in 2023. Is masculinity good or bad? Is it always related to men? What are the characteristics of masculinity? And is masculinity really still held in high regards by our generation as a whole? We asked our Instagram followers all about their perception of masculinity in a survey, so we read through your answers and discuss our own perception of masculinity to try to find the answer to what masculinity means in 2023 (hint, we don’t find one but it’s not looking as bleak as we might have thought!) We are thrilled to announce that Sextras is now expanding into a digital magazine. You can find all episodes of the podcast and articles expanding on the personal and cultural experiences of sex and relationships at www.sextrasworld.com (http://www.sextrasworld.com), or our Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextrasworld. We’ll be back next week with another episode about male friendships, see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam TikTok mentioned: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/ (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJoUvJW8/)

In even the most accepting of households, children pick up on their parents’ beliefs about sex. If that includes restricting sex or teaching that it is inherently bad, that can lead to sexual shame that persists throughout our lives and shows up not just in our sex lives, but also in our entire emotional wellbeing. This week, we’re joined by spiritual and sexual psychologist Kaamna Bhojwani to talk about healing sexual shame through spirituality. Kaamna starts by telling us what sexual shame is, where it comes from and how it shows up in our lives. For women, and older women particularly, sexual shame can separate them from embracing pleasure in their lives as a whole, as well as causing body image issues.Kaamna explains how spirituality can be used to move away from sexual shame, from using meditation to get back in touch with our bodies to examining and unlearning the sexual scripts we were taught during childhood. Overcoming sexual shame is all about looking at what beliefs about sex serve us and re-writing those that harm us so that we can prevent it from passing down through the generations. You can find Kaamna on her website or Instagram @kaamnalive.We hope you enjoy this episode and it inspires you to look at how sexual shame shows up in your life. You can find more of Kaamna on her website or on Instagram. As always, you can find us on our website, on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook @sextraspodcast or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com.We’ll be back soon, make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss our next miniseries on Masculinity. See you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam

Have you ever had sex so good you wish you could freeze the memory in time? This week we’re joined by Carly Pifer, founder of Aurore, a curated collection of erotica written by and for women and LGBTQIA+ people, that encourages you to do just that by writing a story based on your real sex experiences.Carly tells us how she started Aurore and how erotica is different from other kinds of porn. Whereas visual porn can be limited in terms of the body types, genders and positions involved, erotica leaves more up to the imagination, so Carly explains how this appeals particularly to women, trans folk and queer people. Carly has also had feedback about Aurore that it gives representation to sexual minorities and can be great education for people hoping to learn about how to give women pleasure. Whether you’re looking to improve your sexual imagination, realise what it is you like by reading about other people’s real life sex experiences or simply want to try out a new kind of porn or erotica, Aurore has a whole collection for you.You can read Aurore here, or find them on Instagram. Carly is on Instagram @carlydangerous. As always you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook @sextraspodcast, or on our website.We’ll be back soon with another miniseries, or you can find our most recent miniseries about Family, Parenting and Sex here. Can’t wait to see you then!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam