Sex in Space

On this episode of the podcast, we were lucky enough to be joined by Amal Awad. Amal is a writer, director and performer, and as a journalist has contributed to publications including The Guardian, The Sydney Morning Herald, ELLE and Frankie. She’s produced and presented for ABC Radio National, and is the author of eight books, both fiction and non-fiction.  Together, Amal and Jane had a conversation about the complexity of the experience of wearing a veil, and the personal and societal pressures that play into this. They spoke about modesty and the policing women’s bodies in society, as well as the contrasts between wearing the veil in the Western world compared to in the Arab world. Amal and Jane also had a discussion about female sexuality and education around sex and bodies. Find Amal here: https://amalawad.com/ Read 'Beyond Veiled Clichés': https://amzn.asia/d/bOs4xPcWatch ABC Australia’s video, Why Muslim women wear a hijab, burka or niqab & the importance of modesty in Islam: https://youtu.be/hkLjExxCQdY?si=piVVLOL-uLBCT5me TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Intro  00:41 – How does Amal’s work connect with Sex in Space?   02:23 – The need for nuanced conversations about the veil 06:51 – Amal’s experience wearing a headscarf 11:22 – The policing of women and their bodies 15:08 – The veil and symbolism 19:16 – The difference between belief and faith 22:57 – Wearing the veil in the Arab world vs the Western world 26:23 – Female sexuality and religion 32:24 – Understanding the lack of education around sex and bodies 35:07 – Different expressions of modesty 38:54 – Why Amal chose to stop wearing the headscarf 43:25 – About Amal’s book: Bitter and Sweet 49:16 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On today’s episode of the podcast, we were joined by Arielle Zadok. Arielle is an intimacy coordinator, sexologist and founder of The Sexy Directory, an upcoming sex education platform launching in 2025. When she’s not facilitating intimacy on film and television sets, you can find her leading transformative intimacy workshops and speaking about sensuality, sexuality and intimacy at events. Arielle also hosts and produces Birds & Bees Don’t Fck, a show that normalizes how sex education of the past failed us, and how we all managed to get through that. Each week she brings on a comedian or sexpert for these fun, free flowing, educational conversations. Together, Arielle and Tim had a conversation about the role of intimacy coordinators in film and television, the responsibility of media creators to portray sex and intimacy in an authentic way, what makes a great sex scene, and the impact that misinformation from places like pornography has on real sexual interactions.  Find Arielle here: https://www.ariellezadok.com/ Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ariellezadok Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:39 – The state of sex ed 03:53 – Arielle’s early interest in sex and sexuality 08:20 – How Arielle got started as an intimacy coordinator 13:59 – The need to portray intimacy in an accurate way 17:53 – What does a good sex scene look like?  20:12 – Intimacy coordination and kink  23:10 – What Fifty Shades of Grey got wrong about kink  30:18 – Does intimacy coordination exist in pornography?  34:35 – The problem with using porn as a form of sex ed 37:00 – Where we should be learning about sex from 39:05 – How messages about shame and masturbation impact our sex lives 44:13 – Education and The Sexy Directory 49:49 – Where to find Arielle  50:27 – Conclusion -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this week’s episode of the podcast, we have a special bonus episode – ten of our top parenting sex ed tips from experts. We’ve spoken with a lot of parenting experts on our podcast over the years and we wanted to put together some of our favourite tips from these conversations. We’ll cover things like how to talk with your kids about consent, masturbation and porn, advice for how you can be the kind of parent your kids feel safe to come to – and why that’s so important – as well as how you can respond, rather than react, when they ask you a tricky question. 00:00 – Intro  00:34 – Make it normal for your kids to talk to you about what they see online 02:07 – Why you don’t want to shame kids for their bodily reactions to sexual content 03:10 – Be the go to place for your kids to learn facts and values, rather than the media/porn 04:06 – Think about helpful sex conversations you've had in your own life 05:27 – Why your tone matters even more than what you say when having sex talks with your kids 06:20 – How to talk with kids about masturbation 06:59 – How to explain to kids how babies are made 09:28 – How to talk with your kids about porn 10:50 – How to teach kids about consent 12:12 – How to respond rather than react when your child asks you a tricky sex question 14:26 – Conclusion   Our experts include:  Cath Hakanson, qualified sexual health nurse, author, speaker and the founder of Sex Ed Rescue. https://sexedrescue.com/ Vanessa Hamilton, sexuality educator and the founder of education business ‘Talking The Talk Healthy Sexuality Education’, with over 25 years of experience as a registered sexual health nurse.  https://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au/ Dr Jane Cherrington, PhD in discursive psychology, with some post-doctoral work around the themes in porn, founder of the Sex in Space Project. https://sexinspace.com/ Justin Hancock, writer/editor of BISH, a trained sexual health trainer, qualified youth worker, and a sex and relationships educator since 1999. https://www.bishuk.com/ Nikki Denholm, director at The Light Project, which aims to equip youth, their whānau and communities to build porn literacy and positively navigate the new porn landscape. https://thelightproject.co.nz/ -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this episode of the podcast, we were joined by Danielle Broster from the Australian Federal Police. Danielle is a Senior Prevention Officer for their Online Child Safety Team, which she has been a part of for five years. The Australian Federal Police lead an education program called Think U Know, which aims to prevent online child sexual exploitation. Together, Danielle and Tim had a conversation all about sextortion – what it is, who it affects and the warning signs that someone might be a victim, as well as advice for parents on what they can do to help protect their kids against sextortion.  TRIGGER WARNING: this episode discusses topics related to sextortion, online exploitation, and the manipulation of young people. These are sensitive and potentially distressing subjects, so listener discretion is advised. If you find any part of this conversation overwhelming, please reach out to support services if needed. Find Think U Know here: https://www.thinkuknow.org.au/ ACCCE (Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation): https://www.accce.gov.au/ Timestamps  00:00 – Intro  02:33 – How Think U Know started and what they do 04:08 – What is sextortion and who does it target?  11:07 – Do perpetrators follow through with threats?  12:45 – How big is the issue?  15:42 – Advice to help prevent sextortion 20:30 – What conversations to have at what age  22:00 – What are the red flags that suggest someone might be at risk?  23:46 – What empowers young people to report sextortion?  25:46 – Signs someone might be the victim of sextortion  27:58 – Balancing privacy and trust with your child  31:05 – What to do if you find out your child is a victim of sextortion 34:15 – How the AFP is helping prevent sextortion 36:32 – Top tips for both parents and teens  38:05 – Where to find more information  40:57 – How the tech landscape has changed over time  43:57 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tim had the opportunity to talk with Tina Horn – a writer, educatrix, and media-maker. She is the author of Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink (Hachette), a book based on her long-running indie fetish podcast. Tina is the creator/writer of the sci-fi sex-rebel comic book series Safe Sex /SfSx, and the cult detective thriller Deprog; she was also the host/cowriter of the phone sex podcast Operator (Wondery). Her reporting on sexual subcultures has appeared in Rolling Stone, Playboy, Hazlitt, Glamour, Jezebel and elsewhere; she is the author of two other nonfiction books and has contributed to numerous anthologies including We Too: Essays on Sex Work and Survival, which she also coedited. Tina has lectured on adult entertainment politics and queer BDSM identities at universities and community centres all over North America, and works as an on-set consultant for theatre, film, and television including the dominatrix scenes of Pose. She is a LAMBDA Literary Fellow, an AVN nominee, the recipient of two Feminist Porn Awards, and holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction Writing from Sarah Lawrence.  Find Tina here: https://www.instagram.com/tinahornsass/?hl=en Or at her website: https://tinahorn.net/ Timestamps  00:00 – Intro 01:50 – What is a kink?  05:20 – The influence of the internet on our sexual behaviours 07:06 – How would you define rough sex? 08:49 – Our relationship with obsession 14:00 – Connecting to others through sexuality  15:59 – How to bring your desires and fantasies to life 22:02 – Different kinds of foot fetishes 26:50 – Embracing pleasure 29:13 – Places we can learn from  32:36 – Learning about sex from observation and conversations 34:08 – Why are people into that? The cultural investigation of kink.  35:30 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For this episode we were thrilled to be joined by Melody Thomas, the creator and host of The Good Sex Project – a podcast about good sex, good relationships and how to have them.  Together, Melody and Toshi spoke about what she’s learned from her two seasons creating this podcast, how the work has impacted Melody’s own sex life, what she wishes she knew earlier about sex and relationships, and some of the most memorable moments from the conversations she’s had.  Check out The Good Sex Project here: https://interactives.stuff.co.nz/the-good-sex-project-podcast/ Timestamps  00:00 – Intro  00:40 – What is The Good Sex Project all about?  02:09 – How people have responded to The Good Sex Project 03:51 – Melody’s biggest learnings about sex and relationships 07:39 – Advice to feel more comfortable talking about sex 10:05 – Taboos that still need to be broken down 12:59 – Sex advice Melody would give to her younger self  14:31 – How you can prioritise your own pleasure 17:00 – Communication tips 18:47 – Identifying unhealthy relationships 20:20 – Why asking questions is so important 21:55 – The expectations we take from porn 22:57 – How Melody’s sexual experiences have changed over time 24:17 – How sex-negative thinking can impact our physical experiences 26:33 – Where listeners can tune into The Good Sex Project 27:06 – Conclusion -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On the latest episode of the Sex in Space podcast, Toshi had the opportunity to speak with Anil Padavatan, the Health Programs Lead at GATE, (Global Action for Trans Equality), about trans healthcare. Together, they had a conversation about what trans healthcare is, why and how all kinds of people – not just those who are transgender – access services like puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy, they debunked some common myths and misinformation surrounding this topic, and looked at the different ways that families can exist in the world. Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  00:39 – What is GATE?  01:13 – What does it mean to be transgender?  02:42 – What is trans healthcare?  03:38 – What is gender affirming care?  04:48 – Some examples of gender affirming care 05:18 – Some reasons a person might access gender affirming care  06:09 – Cisgender people also access gender affirming care 08:13 – How do puberty blockers work?  09:37 – Are puberty blockers reversible?  10:41 – When can people use puberty blockers?  13:13 – Risks and benefits of puberty blockers 16:41 – The reality of medical interventions for young people   18:45 – What is hormone replacement therapy and who uses it?  21:34 – Being transgender and fertility  26:23 – What is gender affirming surgery? 27:50 – Who is able to access gender affirming surgery?  30:05 – The facts around gender affirming surgery and regret  34:25 – Different kinds of families  37:42 – Conclusion  Resources:  World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standards of Care 8: https://www.wpath.org/soc8  Guidelines for gender affirming healthcare for gender diverse and transgender children, young people and adults in Aotearoa, New Zealand: https://patha.nz/Guidelines  Southern African HIV Clinicians Society Gender Affirming Healthcare Guidelines: https://www.sahivsoc.org/Subheader/Index/sahcs-guidelines  Cornell University Public Policy Research Portal, What does the scholarly research say about the effect of gender transition on transgender well-being?: https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/  GATE Knowledge Portal: https://gate.ngo/knowledge-portal/  Reaffirming Autonomy of Trans and Gender Diverse Children and Adolescents: https://gate.ngo/knowledge-portal/publication/reaffirming-autonomy-of-trans-and-gender-diverse-children-and-adolescents/  Trans and Intersex Rising Zimbabwe: https://trinrizim.weebly.com/

On this week's episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be joined by Dr Paula Hall, a sexual and relationship psychotherapist who specialises in helping people affected by sex addiction and porn addiction. Dr Hall has been working as a therapist for 30 years and currently runs the biggest clinic in the UK, and the biggest therapy training programme for compulsive sexual behaviours.  Together, Dr Hall and Toshi spoke about identifying problematic porn use, advice for anyone who thinks that their porn consumption might be an issue, the impact that compulsive porn use has on partners and how they can access support of their own, why being anti-porn is not the solution and why compulsive porn use is the symptom of a bigger issue.  Dr Hall is the author of several books including Understanding & Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction, Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective, Confronting Porn, and Sex Addiction: A Guide for Couples. Dr Hall has also peer reviewed a number of papers.  Watch her TED Talk on sex addiction here: https://youtu.be/-Qf2e3XZ8Tw?si=8VpOEgOynjCgDxjU Learn more about the Laurel Centre: https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/ Find more info about Pivotal Recovery here: https://www.pivotalrecovery.org/ Check out our book, 'How to talk with your kids about porn: https://www.sexinspace.com/book-2 Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  00:40 – Dr Hall’s background + work  03:41 – Porn addiction vs compulsive porn use 06:02 – When is someone’s porn use problematic?  08:31 – Advice if you think your porn use might be an issue 10:33 – How shame gets in the way of people seeking help 12:45 – Why you need to work out what healthy sexuality means for you  14:36 – The impact of compulsive porn use on partners 16:55 – Support for partners of someone with compulsive porn use  18:43 – Dr Hall’s message for parents  24:06 – Why being anti-porn is not a solution 27:44 – The issue with trying to block pornography 29:28 – How moral debates can get in the way of helping people 33:18 – Compulsive porn use is the symptom of a bigger issue 35:52 – How the brain changes when a behaviour shifts from being recreational to compulsive  38:22 – One thing Dr. Hall wants you to take away from this podcast 39:31 – About Pivotal Recovery 40:43 - Conclusion Software mentioned by Dr Hall - Canopy: https://canopy.us/Qustodio: https://www.qustodio.com/en/Covenant Eyes: https://www.covenanteyes.com/-----------------  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/