Sex in Space

For this episode of the podcast, Tim had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a sex therapist, founder of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a former professor of Marriage and Family therapy at Seattle Pacific University, an AASECT-certified supervisor, mother, wife and author. Her mission is to provide education and tools that empower people to rise above sexual shame and embrace their value. Together Tim and Dr. Tina discuss sexual shame, its origins, the role of religion, effective parenting strategies and more.  Find Dr. Tina here: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/ Check out her book, Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too: https://a.co/d/efnEOkV Explore Dr Tina’s other book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church: https://a.co/d/eaU5zMK -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For this episode we were lucky enough to be joined by Dr. Fiona Vera-Gray, one of the UK’s leading feminist academics working on sexual violence, and the Deputy director at the Child and Women Abuse Studies Unit at London Metropolitan University. Earlier this year, Fiona published her book, Women on Porn, where she interviewed 100 women on their experiences with pornography – how they first encountered it, how they consume it, how it has affected their sex lives and relationships, what they like and what they don’t. Toshi and Fiona spoke about what inspired the book, how people have responded to it, how porn impacts our sex lives and the conflicting feelings that many women have towards their porn use.  Check out Fiona here: https://www.fionaveragray.com/ Find Women on Porn here: https://www.fionaveragray.com/book-women-on-porn.html -----------------Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:14 – What kicked off the book?  02:58 – What are sexual scripts?  04:29 – How does porn impact our sex lives?  06:26 – The problem with the Fast and Furious analogy  08:03 – Balancing regulation and privacy  09:49 – Removing the judgement from the conversation 13:33 – It’s not as simple as pro-porn or anti-porn 15:34 - What women say about their first sexual experiences  17:30 – Advice if you feel conflicted about your porn use  22:05 – How people have responded to Women on Porn  24:00 – What positive impacts can porn have? 27:32 – Fiona’s challenges working in this space  29:24 – Men’s responses to her work  30:51 – Supporting young people  32:50 – Women’s responses to Fiona’s work 34:32 – Feeling validated by other women's experiences 36:00 – What about feminist/ethical porn?  38:09 - How our sexual desires are shaped by culture  40:26 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be joined by Lucy Sante, a Belgian-born American writer, teacher, and critic, who has contributed to the New York Review of Books for four decades about film, art, and photography. She transitioned at the age of 67 after downloading an app on her phone that had a gender-swapping feature, allowing Lucy to see herself as a woman.  Earlier this year, she published a book called I Heard Her Call My Name, a Memoir of Transition, which brings together two threads of personal narrative – the first, the arc of her life, and the second, her recent transition that allowed her to reach a place of inner and outer alignment.  Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:23 – Feelings after promoting her book  02:10 – Lucy's experience being trans 04:40 – Containment vs desire  07:28 – Lucy's upbringing  08:52 – What triggered Lucy’s transition  11:45 – The impact of age on transitioning 13:56 – Lucy's social experiences as a kid  17:25 – First encounters with trans people  18:41 – Finding courage from others  21:33 – Why Lucy might have transitioned 25 years earlier  22:31 – Gender in society  25:33 – The debate with feminism  27:11 – The joy of transitioning  31:42 – Being transgender is not a choice  33:51 – Conclusion  Check out Lucy's book here: https://lucysante.com/book/i-heard-her-call-my-name/-----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/  

For this episode of the podcast, Toshi was lucky enough to speak with Annah Pickering, the regional co-ordinator for the NZPC – the Aotearoa New Zealand Sex Worker’s Collective. The Sex Worker’s Collective is a national organisation here in New Zealand that empowers and advocates for the rights of sex workers, as well as doing work internationally around the decriminalisation of sex work.Check out the NZPC here: https://nzpc.org.nz/.-----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom  For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For this episode, Jane had the privilege of speaking with Susie Orbach, who is a British psychotherapist, psychoanalyst, social critic and the writer who hit the world with the iconic book: Fat is a Feminist Issue, which is an important examination of the obsession we have with food and body image. Written over 40 years ago, it remains hyper relevant to this day.  Fast forward to 2009, and Susie followed up on this idea with Bodies. In this book she argues that the way we view our bodies has become synonymous with how we see ourselves – our body becomes the way that we measure our self-worth. In Bodies, Susie suggests ways that we might be able to heal from this kind of messaging.  In the podcast, Susie spoke with Jane about this amazing body of work, and three main themes emerged – the development of feminism and the way that our perception of it has changed over time, our struggle as humans to be both connected and autonomous, and the way in which the food and beauty industries profit so significantly from body insecurity. What you’ll find in the podcast: How feminism was perceived when Susie was young What role should work have in our lives?  The shift from relying on each other to competing Can we find common ground with others?  Why connection is so important  Why do so many of us feel bad about our bodies? How we can change the way we feel about bodies Why you should read Bodies A reflection on the times we’re living in -----------------    Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.    Follow us here:  https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom  https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace/featured https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom  https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

For this episode, Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Chanel Contos, founder and CEO of Teach Us Consent, a campaign that mandated consent education in Australia. Chanel discussed the success of this campaign and the response she received from people within Australia and internationally. She unpacks what people can expect from her book, Consent Laid Bare, and discusses the last chapter which is titled “Dear Boys and Men” and what she hoped to achieve with this particular part of the book. Chanel also gives her advice on how to have healthier conversations and practices around consent and understanding personal boundaries.  Find out more about the Teach Us Consent campaign here: https://www.teachusconsent.com/ Grab a copy of Consent Laid Bare:  https://amzn.asia/d/87nIuxU Timestamps:00:00 – Intro  01:11 – What is the Teach Us Consent campaign?  03:22 – Responses to the campaign  03:52 – What Chanel has learned from working in this space  04:40 – What's most rewarding about being involved in this work  05:43 – What you’ll find in Chanel’s book 07:20 – Dear Boys and Men  10:11 – How to help people feel comfortable to say “no” 12:10 – What is affirmative consent?  14:24 – Advice to help have better consent practices  17:07 – How you can get in touch with your own boundaries  18:57 – Goals for the future  19:45 – How Chanel got into this space from starting in IT  20:46 – How you can support Teach Us Consent 21:17 - Conclusion  -----------------    Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.    Follow us here:  https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom  https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace/featured https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom  https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom 

For today’s episode, Jane had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus. Dr. Jenn is a clinical sexologist, sociologist, and relationship coach who has more than 20 years of experience in the sexual health and relationships space. She is the author of From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women, and is an international speaker about couples' desire, sexual consent, healthy relationships, body image, erotic play, effective communication, women's empowerment, and mindful intimacy. Find more of Dr. Jenn here: https://www.drjennsden.com/ Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 02:22 – How Dr. Jenn got involved in this work 04:28 – Changes in the sex + sexuality space over time 06:40 – Why it’s important to do hard things  09:29 – What is a growth mindset?  12:51 – How awkward encounters can increase intimacy  14:19 – Dr Jenn’s course for couples 15:46 – Rewriting our sexual stories  17:22 – 10 day refresh for couples  18:11 – Our complicated relationship with pleasure  21:49 – From Madness to Mindfulness   26:00 – The lack of education around the clitoris  28:47 – Dr. Jenn’s tips for parents  31:56 – Advice for couples  38:25 - Conclusion -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace/featuredhttps://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom  For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For today’s episode, Toshi had the pleasure of chatting with Damian Weatherald. Damian is an avid gig-goer to live music, sport, comedy, theatre and travel. He’s also a disability advocate and inclusivity consultant, a sex educator, and sex toy guru.  We came across Damian on Instagram, when we asked our followers which topics they’d like to hear us discuss on the podcast. Damian approached us and said that he would love to speak with us about sex and disability, and we were super keen to have this conversation with him.  You can find him on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/wheelie.rocking.pink/ Check out his website here: https://www.damianweatherald.co.uk/ --------------------------    Check out our books here:   https://www.sexinspace.com/books      And find our merch here:   https://www.sexinspace.com/shop      --------------------------      Watch video versions of our podcast here:  https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace/featured  Follow us here:   https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom   https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom   https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom